Chapter Text
The phone on Regina’s dresser began to ring. She picked it up, sprawling out on her bed as she put it up to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Regina, I’ve got something I really really need to tell you, but you have to swear you won’t tell anybody else that you heard it from me. Even Cady. Especially Cady, actually. Because it’s about her-“
She rolled her eyes. “Out with it, Gretchen.”
“Well, Cady sort of told me the other day that she has a tiny crush on Aaron - but that she had absolutely no idea he was your ex. And I believe her, but I still think she likes him after I told her, and I just thought that you should know, in case they, y’know, get together-“
Regina froze, taking a deep breath. She could practically hear Gretchen shaking through the phone.
“…Regina?”
The girl laughed suddenly. “God, she is such a slut! I mean, she’s only been at this school, what, a month, and she’s already going after Aaron? Really, I can’t blame her, I don’t think they have very many cute guys in Africa. The tribes probably mate for life or something. It’s culture shock.”
“So you’re not mad?”
“At you? Of course not, you’re just…trying to be a good friend. I won’t tell her, I swear.”
“You’re sure?”
”I’m positive, Gretchen. It’s most likely a big misunderstanding. Maybe she got the impression that I didn’t really care about him that much or anything. That it was like…a party hookup. She’s not great with subtext, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Yeah, you’re so right. That’s totally the vibe I was getting from her.”
Regina fake yawned. “Well, I was on my way to bed, but I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“See you tomor-“
She slammed the phone shut before the other girl could finish. Regina felt her blood boiling inside her veins. After all she’d done for Cady, just for her to blatantly disrespect her like this and have the audacity to go after her ex-boyfriend? Regina knew the girl was a bit socially inept, of course, but she’d made sure Gretchen and Karen had warned her of the rules!
Whatever. She didn’t need Aaron, and she definitely didn’t need Cady. But it was becoming increasingly clear that the girl was a threat, and one that urgently needed to be taken care of.
Regina stood up and began to pace the length of her bedroom. She’d worked her way out of worse predicaments before, and she could do it again.
She could always go back to Aaron all doe-eyed and snatch him right from under Cady, then spin it around on him when confronted (if Cady even had the gall to confront her.) A tried and true method. But she still had that math class with him, and the truth was at risk of coming out.
Regina racked her brain, over and over, until it happened. The solution, clear and simple, fell into her head. The idea was so perfectly genius, it honestly shocked her a little bit.
She’d let Cady have Aaron. She’d even help her, because there was probably no way he’d like her back on his own. Then she’d get with some other guy - it shouldn’t be too hard, almost every guy in the school would sell their soul to get a chance with her - and put on a spectacular lovey-dovey act. A few weeks in, she’d corner Aaron, tears pooling in her eyes, claiming how horrible the guy was treating her, and how she’d made such a mistake. She’d insist, no, he’s Cady’s, she can’t, and then it would just happen. Then she’d break up with the guy, run to Cady, and heartbrokenly give a rendition of the whole thing. She’d feel so angry and upset that she wouldn’t believe his narrative. The guys would be in the wrong, but most importantly; Cady would remain her friend and a neutralized threat, and be taught an important lesson.
The big question, however, was who? Which boy could she thoroughly convince Aaron was mistreating her?
“Look, the new guy’s sitting with the art freaks!”
Him.
Cady wasn’t the only transfer this year. There was another, a boy in their grade. Nobody knew much about him, just that he’d done something so utterly awful that he’d gotten himself expelled from his last school and forced his family to move in disgrace. He’d made friends with Janis, which wasn’t much of a surprise. They were birds of a feather, a very freaky, waterline-eyeliner, art school feather.
The scheme was only getting better. Speaking of birds, she could kill two with one stone - Janis and Cady. And she knew the boy was head over heels for her, thanks to Gretchen.
“I overheard them talking, he’s totally into you. Isn’t that just so gross? It’s so gross, right, Karen?”
“Yeah. Who are we talking about?”
It was deliciously perfect. All that was left was to put it all in action. She grabbed her phone again and dialed Cady’s number.
There were whispers. There were always whispers, but Regina was walking with a purpose, with laser-focus. Which almost always meant a very, very bad thing was about to happen.
She leaned against the lockers, acting as if she was waiting for somebody. In reality, she was waiting for him to close his and notice her.
He slammed it shut, right in her ear, making her bite back a grimace. But the priceless look on his face and the way he immediately trailed off was so worth it.
He was quite the character. Tall, shaggy black hair that looked like he’d cut it himself with a pair of safety scissors (Kylie had done that once, when she was four, much to Regina’s dismay), and clothes that were so wrinkled she’d imagined they’d been sitting in the corner of his room for days.
His room. She shuddered at the thought.
Unfortunately, Janis was there too - although Damien was nowhere to be found.
She plastered a smile onto her face. “Janis, can I borrow your friend here for a minute?”
“Actually, we were kind of in the middle-“
“I need to talk to him. Urgently. Don’t you have a performance piece to get back to, Yoko?” She tilted her head, her smile sharpening like a tiger about to pounce.
Janis began a retort, her finger pointing directly at Regina, before the boy quickly pulled her aside. Regina could hear them whispering.
“…I get you hate her, but do not mess this up for me, she’s into me…”
“…she’s not into you, idiot, she’s most likely trying to ‘Pygmalion’ you, I can’t believe you…”
She finally scoffed and stormed off with an affronted expression, leaving just him. He tried to imitate Regina’s relaxed position of leaning against the lockers, but nearly tripped over his own feet. He ignored it, keeping the same smirk on his face.
“So. You’re Regina.”
Her fingers tapped against her side. “Yes. I don’t think we’ve met. You’re…?”
“Rodrick. Uh - Heffley. Rodrick Heffley. But people tend to- call me a lot of other things. Like Rick. Or RD. Or Rod-Man. So, any of those work really.”
What a piece of work.
“Wow. That’s so interesting. You’re new, right?” She made sure her face was extra animated.
He was practically bursting with pompousness. “Yeah, just moved here from Massachusetts. Plainview, you’ve probably never heard of it.”
Regina twirled a blonde strand around her pinky. “Massachusetts, huh? That’s pretty far from Illinois. What brought you all the way out here?”
Rodrick’s face dropped imperceptibly, but once again, he quickly recovered. “My, uh, mom’s family lives out here, and she wanted my brothers to be closer to them.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet.” He was lying to her face, and she knew it. “You have brothers?”
“Two younger ones, and they’re both little shits. Greg’s four years, Manny is…” He began to, very slowly, count on his fingers, and Regina had to restrain herself from reacting at all. “Seven - no, eight- I don’t know. He’s three.”
“Thirteen years then? That’s a lot.” She grinned in her mind at correcting him. “I only have a younger sister, Kylie, and she’s seven.”
He nodded stupidly, up and down and up and down and up and down like some kind of bobblehead.
Regina remembered she was here on a mission. She peered up at Rodrick through her lashes, and batted them once, then twice. Her voice was as sweet as her glistening lipgloss. “Well, the reason I came over here was that, well, there’s this Halloween party coming up, and I need a plus-one, and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come?”
“Yes!” His voice cracked, and he coughed it off awkwardly. “I mean, yeah, sure, I’m free.”
“Great! So, let me-“ She dug around in her Fendi Baguette and pulled out a gel pen, before grabbing his hand suddenly. His face went bright red as she scrawled her number on his hand.
The bell rang, and even after she let go of his hand, it remained in its spot suspended in mid-air.
“Call me!” she called over her shoulder as she strutted back down the hall, the statement eliciting some gasps from bystanders.
Regina didn’t head to class. Instead, she went straight to the bathroom to wash her hands. This was all going to be worth it in the end, she reminded herself.
It better be.