Work Text:
Seungkwan knew he shouldn’t have procrastinated on this essay for too long, but the days passed faster than he could comprehend. Filled with classes, deadlines and dates with Vernon, the days flew by. That’s how he ended up sitting at his desk, hot water bottle squeezed against his stomach, period cramps rushing through his body as he tried to settle his mind on the essay about Islam and Christianity’s impact on the Middle Ages. The topic was stupid, one of the few things in history that didn’t spark Seungkwan's interest at all. Yet, he was forced to write a three thousand word essay about it, and that in less than twelve hours.
Seungkwan didn’t intend to leave it for the last twelve hours. No, had planned on starting at eight am sharp, so he would basically have the whole day. His body, however, had other plans.
Seungkwan had woken up at four am, his stomach pestering him with insane cramps. It was that time of the month, again. He spent over thirty minutes on the toilet, folded over, arms pressing down on his stomach, waiting for the blue painkillers to kick in. Once they did, it took him another hour to fall asleep. The physical pain was there, but more subtle. The mental pain however, was a lot more present. His mind would keep going, not at a fast pace, but fast enough to keep him awake.
Boo Seungkwan (05:06): Everything hurts…. I don’t know if I can do this longer…
(sent)
He had found his text pathetic. As if Vernon would be awake at such a time. Vernon had everything Seungkwan wanted. A deep voice, a flat chest, a fixed sleep schedule and a good running academic career.
It was already a little after half past five before Seungkwan finally fell back asleep. Hot water bottle on his stomach, subsiding the cramps further.
When Seungkwan's alarm went off at half past seven, he had turned it off, knowing that there was another one going off at eight am. When his alarm went off at eight, he turned it off again, without having a back-up alarm this time. The painkillers had clearly worked out, his uterus screaming it out again.
It had taken him over thirty minutes to find the strength to get up from his bed. The red blood stains on the white fitted sheet mocked him, as if the physical pain wasn’t already enough. He had pulled the sheet off with some kind of fury. He didn’t understand why he still had to go through this hell every single month, even though he had already been on testosterone for four whole months now. Seungkwan had hoped that the testosterone would do wonders, that his period would stop after just two months. The testosterone however had other ideas, and his period kept coming. Every month, and every time the pain seemed to get worse.
Seungkwan’s morning routine, which usually took him about thirty minutes to maybe an hour if he really took the time, took him a lot longer. Walking up the stairs took all his energy, he had sat down on the bed, unable to move due to the pain for over fifteen minutes. Eating his breakfast, getting dressed… somehow something that should’ve taken a maximum of an hour, took Seungkwan over three hours.
And so, instead of starting on his essay at eight am…. It was already half past eleven when Seungkwan finally settled down in his deskchair. A bunch of comfort snacks, a bottle of water and a stack of painkillers ready to pull him through this terrible piece of work. The painkillers he had taken in about thirty minutes prior were finally kicking in. Seungkwan knew he would need to lock in now, when he finally felt a little bit better. He knew he shouldn’t take this feeling for granted, the knowledge that it could get worse any second again gnawing in the back of his mind.
The first three hours, or maybe it was a bit longer, went pretty well. Seungkwan was locked in, completely focused on his screen, determined to find the right literature that would back up his view on the topic. There was nothing that could get him distracted, not even the tons of messages that his boyfriend was sending him, his phone long forgotten on the bed.
But soon, everything went downwards. The painkillers kept doing their work, miraculously (or it was the fact that Seungkwan had taken an extra one after two hours). But the mental disturbance that came with his period crawled back up, bumping above the surface. It was acting like a mole, wanting to be seen without completely peeking through.
The distraction first started out with something simple. Seungkwan had gotten up to move his laundry from the washing machine to the dryer. And as he was doing that, he decided it was time to make himself some food, something that would fill him up more than the countless snacks he had already eaten. Making his lunch however, was the start of the downfall.
As soon as Seungkwan settled back in his chair, he figured out his concentration was all gone, like snow in the sun. He couldn’t get comfortable again in his chair, every way he sat down was more uncomfortable than the one before. The blanket wasn’t as soft as before, the coldness, from being dumped on the chair, had replaced the warmth the blanket had given before. Sitting cross-legged, a position that was always comfortable for him, suddenly made Seungkwan very conscious.
Twenty minutes later, Seungkwan finally settled in again, finding a position that was somewhat comfortable and didn’t make him feel conscious. The second struggle was to get back to concentrating. Vernon was spamming Seungkwan with an ungodly amount of cat-videos, which Vernon had titled ‘a gift for when you are done’. Seungkwan had told Vernon that he would be busy all day and that he would most likely not be very active on his phone. But, he had promised Vernon to keep him updated, seeing as Friday evening was their usual date-night and it would be the first time in forever that it might not happen.
Vernon had come into Seungkwan’s apartment around three pm. He had called out for Seungkwan, but when he didn’t get a response, Vernon got slightly confused. Seungkwan always responded to Vernon's call, as he usually didn’t wear headphones (which Vernon still found really weird). Seungkwan hadn’t mentioned that he would be going out today, as he hated studying in the university library. Too busy, too crowded and too many people getting up and sitting down for Seungkwan’s liking.
Silently Vernon moved towards Seungkwan's bedroom. He gently pushed the door open. The sight he was met with saddened Vernon instantly. Seungkwan's face was strained, pain radiating from it. “Hey, I’m here.” He called out, as he moved towards Seungkwan. Slowly Vernon leaned over to press a kiss on top of Seungkwan's head. “How’s the essay going? Is it coming a bit along? Have you taken a break? You’re already going for,” Vernon quickly checked the time in the bottom right corner of Seungkwan's screen, “seven hours.” Seungkwan groaned. “God… wish I was going for seven hours, I might've had a chance to actually finish this piece of shit.” Vernon hummed, his eyes falling on the hot water bottle pressed against Seungkwan’s stomach.
Suddenly it all clicked in Vernon's head. The message of last night, the sheets stripped off the bed, the uncountable amount of snacks, the fluffy blankets and the distress on Seungkwan’s face. It was Seungkwan’s time of the month, and it had come at the worst moment possible.
Vernon’s hand fell over Seungkwan’s shoulder, touching the hot water bottle without Seungkwan actually noticing it. It was cold, or at least too cold to actually be off help for Seungkwan. “Here, let me get this reheated for you. I’ll also get you a chamomile tea, the one you like so much.” Vernon softly said, as he took the hot water bottle from Seungkwan.
It warmed Seungkwan on the inside. He didn’t even have to say it, Vernon had already figured it out. “Thanks… a lot.” He looked up at Vernon. “Of course love, always.” Vernon said, before placing a kiss on Seungkwan’s lips. “Try to focus a bit longer yea? I’ll make a quick run to the grocery store to get dinner. I won’t be gone for too long.” Seungkwan nodded, returning his gaze on the screen afterwards.
Vernon did exactly what he had promised to do. He reheated the hot water bottle, made some tea and brought both of them back to Seungkwan without disturbing him, because he had finally found his concentration back.
The trip to the grocery store also didn’t take long. Vernon knew exactly what to grab. A new pack of risotto, some mushroom, parmesan cheese, chocolate mousse for dessert and the most important of it all, a red bull in the taste of white cherries (completely irrelevant to the dinner though).
He made sure to also grab some more pads and tampons, just in case Seungkwan would run out. Vernon knew his boyfriend, and despite the fact that Seungkwan knew his period could still come, every month he hoped it would be the last one. Vernon wanted to make sure the debacles of last month didn’t happen again, because being called up at four am in the morning because Seungkwan didn’t have anything at home anymore was not the best thing Vernon had ever experienced. He remembered the look from the girl behind the counter as if it was yesterday, she had smiled so fondly at Vernon as he was paying for the pads.
Back at home, Seungkwan was fighting for his life. His brain felt like it couldn’t focus on anything. The letters on the laptop screen were blurry, his fingers didn’t run over the keyboard as they usually would. In every word there ended up being typo’s, as it frustrated Seungkwan more than ever. He tried so hard, he knew he had to finish this today. If he didn’t finish, he failed his course and that would mean he had to take this course again next year, something he absolutely didn’t want to do. Next to the mental frustration and struggles, his uterus also had decided that it had enough of the painkillers. It felt like a knife was constantly stabbing him, while his uterus was already cramped up in a too small carton box that was taped shut. Tears jumped in the corner of his eyes, his hands tangled in his hair. The grip on his blond locks got stronger, pulling more and more at it. A bad habit he has had since his first period, something that helps him relocate the pain. Something that makes it feel like he is the reason for his pain, like he can manage the amount of pain he is making himself experience.
As Vernon walks in, he is met with this exact scene. “Hey hey hey.” He softly said, rushing over to Seungkwan. Vernon carefully pries Seungkwan's finger open, taking his hands into Vernon’s own hands. “Let's not do that darling, let's squeeze my hands. Scream it out yeah? I’m here now, don’t let it hold you back.” The tears started streaming faster over Seungkwan’s cheeks. He felt like giving up, like he truly couldn’t do this anymore.
It hurt Vernon, more than ever before. He felt helpless, not sure on how to help. “Let’s get you in bed yea…? I’ll reheat your bottle, you can nap and chill for the rest of the day. You’ve worked so hard.” Vernon whispers against Seungkwan's head, as his fingers brushed through the blonde hair. But Seungkwan shook his head. “N-no, I have to finish this Nonie… I can’t quit…” He said, but the pain in his voice was clear. “I’ll write it, you don’t worry about it anymore. I'll fix it.” Vernon promised Seungkwan, with no clue on how he actually would get it done.
It took some more convincing. Seungkwan didn’t want to let go of the essay. He felt like a failure, mad at himself for procrastination on it so much. The urge to finish it himself was big, it was his work and his name would be put up on the paper in the end. It felt wrong to let anyone else write his paper, it felt even more wrong as it was Vernon writing the paper. Vernon, the boy who had told Seungkwan how much he had hated history during his high school period, Vernon who was majoring in math, something totally different.
But, after a lot of convincing done by Vernon, and one good look at his bed, which Vernon apparently had made before. Seungkwan gave in. Because Seungkwan also knew that trying to finish the essay would only frustrate him more. It would be the hardest thing to do, as he would need to fight against insane stomach aches, fogginess in his brain and an overexhausted body.
As expected, the moment Seungkwan hit his bed, everything immediately felt like it was doable again. His brain was still foggy, but now it didn’t matter anymore. His iPad was propped up next to his pillow, his comfort movie already put up. The hot water bottle reheated once again, a water bottle and painkillers on his nightstand. Next to the water bottle was his favourite dessert, something he would never allow himself to buy. Vernon had done all of it, and once again Seungkwan realized why he loved Vernon so much. Because Vernon would take care of him, would understand him, would figure out how he was feeling, without Seungkwan needing to say one word. Vernon knew, and that was what mattered the most.
With Seungkwan in bed, watching his favourite movie, Vernon took place behind the messy desk. The chair was still a bit warm from before. He took a deep breath as he let his eyes fall on the laptop screen. His eyes scanned through what Seungkwan had already written… and it wasn’t a lot. Five hundred words down on the screen…. The time was ticking, five hours for Vernon to figure out how to write a history essay, to research this topic and actually come up with something of quality. Five hours left to help Seungkwan towards a passing grade.
The first thing Vernon did was read the syllabus. Because if Vernon was honest, he had no clue what to write, what the topic was and even how many words he had to hit. His eyes flew over the screen, writing down the topic and searching for the word aim. Three thousand… at least, with a maximum of three thousand five hundred. That meant that Vernon had to write at least two thousand and five hundred words in under five hours. That meant at least five hundred words per hour. A close call, but Vernon knew that if he put himself to work, if he let nothing (not even Seungkwan) distract him, he might be able to actually pull it off.
The second thing Vernon did was read through the things Seungkwan had already written, to get a grip on whatever Seungkwan's point was. Vernon’s tactic? Write the history time line down as if it was a math formula. Because something plus another thing, would always result in the total. In this case, Christianity + Islam = the Middle ages. So, all Vernon had to do was figure out how those two religions had resulted in the way the Middle Ages had played out.
It seemed simple, but it was far from it. Vernon had no clue where to start, and so he just randomly clicked on some sources Seungkwan had linked in his notepad. He read tons of abstracts and conclusions, noting down anything he thought that could be important for the final essay. Multiple papers scattered around the desk, several ‘formulas’ written down. Every effect he read was added in one or even several formulas. Because working with formulas was the only thing that helped Vernon to kinda understand what he was doing.
After three hours, the mark of fifteen hundred words was hit. Vernon knew he was far behind schedule, but he also knew it should get easier from here on. Seungkwan hadn’t written an introduction yet, and so Vernon was left spending at least five hundred words on the introduction and the conclusion.
Despite being behind schedule, Vernon decided that it was time for a short break. He needed more caffeine, and above all he needed to stretch his limbs for a bit. He turned around in the desk chair and looked at Seungkwan, who was peacefully asleep by now. Without disturbing Seungkwan he shut the iPad, pausing the movie that was playing. Carefully he placed a kiss on Seungkwan’s forehead, and whispered softly “I love you.” against it.
Seungkwan, who wasn’t as deep asleep as Vernon thought, smiled softly. Slowly he opened his eyes, lazily looking at Vernon. “Hey… you turned the movie off.” He pouted. “You were asleep darling, you probably missed so much of it.” Seungkwan replied with a whine. Vernon just giggled softly, adoring his sleepy boyfriend.
“How’s … how's the essay going? Is it… can I help?” Seungkwan sat up in bed as he looked at Vernon. “I’m… I think it’s getting along? I’m not sure if it is good though, I'm just trying.” Vernon said, rubbing his neck. “Maybe… you can read what I have now? Because if there are things I need to change, or you think should be done differently, then I can do that? I still have like one and a half hour left after my break.” Seungkwan nodded. “Give me the laptop. I’ll read through it, you go take your well deserved break.” Vernon handed over the laptop, and walked out after it.
He was scared that it was not good, that it wasn’t what Seungkwan had in mind… or that it wasn’t in the format it was supposed to be done. He didn’t want to disappoint Seungkwan, he wanted to help… that was all he wanted to do.
After a short break Vernon got back to the bedroom, a hot cup of coffee in his hands, some more snacks in his other. “I can see that you uh wrote it as if it was a math problem,” Seungkwan chuckled, “But overall, it is good. I think this is fine… I’m not really the sharpest right now, but I… yes I think it is good… thank you so much Nonie, you’re my savior. I would’ve never gotten this done today…” Vernon smiled as he put down his cup of coffee. “Of course love, this was the least I could do.” He leaned over and gave Seungkwan a short kiss. “Let me focus for some time more, yeah? I’ll get this thing submitted before the deadline, believe me.” Seungkwan nodded. “I believe you, you can do this Nonie.” He smiled genuinely as he handed the laptop back over.
As Vernon focussed back on the essay, Seungkwan wondered how he could thank Vernon for this gift. Because not only had Vernon taken care of Seungkwan on the moment he needed, no, Vernon did a lot more. He had noticed Seungkwan wasn’t feeling well before Seungkwan even mentioned it, he took over the essay without any complaining, even when history was something completely the opposite of Vernon's major.
It was exactly one minute before twelve o’clock when Vernon submitted the essay. Exactly five words over the minimum amount, but Vernon did it. “And…?” Seungkwan asked, when the clock hit midnight. “Submitted it, now we just wait…” Vernon said as he turned around. Seungkwan smiled “Thank you so so so much, you’re really a hero Nonie.” Vernon just smiled. “It was the least I could do for you, that’s what we’re boyfriends for, to help each other through the hard times, even when that means doing something totally out of your comfort zone.”
That was the moment Seungkwan fell in love with Vernon once again.
Two weeks later, Seungkwan got the grade back. He had found it scary to open it, but he also knew that he wanted to surprise Vernon with a gift if he did pass, well even if he didn’t pass Vernon would get the gift.
But they passed. Barely, but they did it, Vernon did it.
Seungkwan had baked Vernon’s favourite cake, a vanilla flavoured one with pieces of apple in it. On top of it, he had written the words congratulations, you passed in chocolate letters.
When Vernon saw the cake for the first time, he was slightly confused. He passed… what? But soon it clicked in his head. “You passed that essay?!” His eyes lit up as he looked at Seungkwan. Seungkwan shook his head. “I didn’t, you did it Vernon. You passed that essay for me, thank you once again.” He said as he cupped Vernon's face. Their lips met seconds after that, celebrating the fact that even through periods and essays, they still maintained the same amount of love for each other.