Chapter Text
Courfeyrac had the best of intentions when he made the bet.
The Amis were always betting on the most different things. They were usually silly bets, that ranged from "what will be Joly's sickness of the week?" to "what body part will Enjolras get injured on this incoming protest?". They were usually harmless money bets that the group used to spend time, and they all took it light heartedly, never thinking ill of it. Even Enjolras, who wasn’t a big fan of meddling in this kind of business, participated sometimes.
This time, though, things were different. They were celebrating Marius' birthday on a bar – Enjolras, of course, was dragged there by Combeferre, who insisted that it would be impolite for the leader not to attend – and the night was almost over. Enjolras, who wasn’t a great fan of drinking, had indulged a few too many drinks and was now sitting on a bar stool, leaning heavily on the counter beside Courfeyrac, who was cheerfully telling him a story that was going completely unheard by Enjolras. Enjolras felt tipsy and light headed, not able to concentrate on anything for too long.
"So? What do you think?" Courfeyrac asked loudly, cheeks flushed from the alcohol.
"What?" Enjolras frowned, not knowing what his friend meant. He hadn't been listening, he was too busy thinking about something he no longer remembered.
"Do you take the bet?" Courfeyrac asked, looking expectant.
"I didn’t hear a single word that you were saying", Enjolras said with sincerity, quickly adding a "Sorry" in fear of being too harsh (as everyone told him he was).
Courfeyrac rolled his eyes, pulling the half-full glass that Enjolras was cradling away from the man and downing it in one large gulp before continuing.
"I bet I can get Combeferre shitfaced drunk by the end of the night", Courfeyrac said, still wincing from the taste of alcohol. "If I'm wrong, I'll distribute those ABC pamphlets you've been asking me to at the uni for the next week".
"And if you're right?" Enjolras asked, frowning. He'd been asking for Courfeyrac to distribute pamphlets for months now, since he was the most charismatic of the Amis and more likely to draw people for the cause. Combeferre was a very level headed person, and even if he enjoyed an occasional drink – more often than Enjolras –, he wasn’t stupid enough to allow Courfeyrac to get him drunk. Not shitfaced drunk, at least.
"If I'm right", Courfeyrac smirked wickedly, "you'll have to go on a date with Grantaire".
Enjolras sobered up a bit at the subject, sitting up straighter and uncomfortably, rolling his eyes at Courfeyrac.
"What?" Courfeyrac asked, sounding somewhat offended despite the loud music of the bar that was swallowing their conversation and making them have to yell at each other to be heard.
"This subject again?" Enjolras asked. "I've already said, I have no interest in dating Grantaire".
"Why are you so difficult?" Courfeyrac protested. "Just give it a chance. What do you have to lose?"
Enjolras was well aware of Grantaire's crush on him. He had been for a while. All the Amis insisted on making anything-but-subtle comments about Grantaire whenever Enjolras was around, or wolf-whistle whenever Grantaire talked to Enjolras outside meetings. Enjolras didn’t understand the behavior at first, and it took him a while to realize that it only happened when it was Grantaire talking to him. When he approached Combeferre on the matter – his ever trustful source for doubts and troubles -, the man refused to explain what all of that meant, but with enough pressure and insistence from Enjolras, he ended up revealing that Grantaire had 'a bit of a crush' on him.
From that moment on, everything changed by Enjolras' eyes. Whenever Grantaire approached him outside – and inside, if he was being honest – meetings, Enjolras eyed him with close attention and suspicion for his words, trying to find a hidden meaning in them. And with given time, Enjolras found it, were it a prolonged gaze, a shrugged compliment, a sarcastic observation about his looks. Grantaire was clearly in love with Enjolras, even he could see that, as oblivious as he was told he was.
The truth was, Enjolras did not return Grantaire's feelings for him. He found Grantaire to be an excessively loud, obnoxious, drunk cynic whose presence added nothing to their cause. He was always disrupting meetings with his sarcastic statements, always interrupting Enjolras' speeches by discrediting his ideals and mocking Enjolras in front of everyone. If anything, Enjolras despised him.
But ever since Enjolras got aware of Grantaire's feelings, all the Amis started to ask him why he wouldn’t give Grantaire a chance. "Why don’t you ask him on a date?", "Why don't you give it a try?", "Why don't you give him a chance?". Enjolras was flooded by those questions every day. "You have nothing to lose", they would tell him, no matter how often Enjolras dismissed their daily attempts. It was as if they were all on Grantaire's side, with no regard for Enjolras' own feelings.
This thing Courfeyrac was doing, tricking Enjolras into going to a date with Grantaire through a bet, was disgusting. It was basically forcing Enjolras to do something he didn’t want to just because everyone wanted him to do it. It was actually morally wrong. Courfeyrac hadn't thought about that, of course, he was just running out of ways of trying to make Grantaire happy. But Enjolras knew better.
He also trusted Combeferre and knew him long enough to know that the man wouldn’t be easily tricked into getting shitfaced by Courfeyrac of all people, which is why he found himself saying, through the drunken haze of his mind:
"Fine, I'm in".
Courfeyrac basically beamed at this, eyes shining and smile widening. He got up from the stool, stumbling slightly and needing to lean on Enjolras' shoulder. He lifted his hand, his pinky finger sticking out at Enjolras' face. Enjolras eyed the finger with a frown, and Courfeyrac shook it as if to make a statement.
"Pinky promise", Courfeyrac explained, smile never faltering. "This way I know you won't back out of the bet".
Enjolras let out a deep sigh and rolled his eyes again, which made a wave of dizziness overcome him. He lifted his own hand and intertwined his pinky finger with Courfeyrac's, making the man jump in excitement.
"Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening!" He yelled with enthusiasm. "You won't regret this, Enjolras, I promise!"
Courfeyrac then ran away, towards Combeferre, and the bartender appeared with another shot that was meant for Courfeyrac. Enjolras eyed it for a couple of seconds, deciding whether he should drink it or not, a tiny, smothered part of his drunk brain yelling at him that he had had enough. Enjolras pushed the glass away.
The rest of the night passed as a blur to Enjolras, who woke up at Feuilly's couch on the following morning, Bahorel and Jehan snuggled close to him – which was a true miracle, since the couch was tiny and Bahorel was a giant.
Enjolras did his best to get up from the couch without waking the pair up, but the task was difficult due to Jehan's well-known habit of tightly clinging to people in his sleep. After a few seconds of careful struggling, Enjolras freed himself and walked to the kitchen, where Feuilly was already brewing coffee and sipping something from his mug.
"Morning", Feuilly greeted, and the sudden sound, even if low, sent a stab of pain across Enjolras' skull. He hissed in pain, and Feuilly pushed a pill and a glass of water towards him, already prepared. "Drink up".
Enjolras swallowed the pill and the water, climbing the chair by the kitchen counter and leaning his head on the cool surface.
"How do you deal with this", Enjolras groaned, voice hoarse, eyes closed against the bright light of the kitchen.
"You get used to it, eventually", Feuilly shrugged, taking the prepared coffee and pouring Enjolras a mug.
"Where's everyone?" Enjolras asked, nodding thankfully at the mug and taking a sip of the hot liquid.
"Oh, Grantaire, Musichetta, Joly and Bossuet are on my room. I don’t know where Combeferre and Courfeyrac are, they left the bar before we did. I assume Marius and Cosette are home".
A sudden memory invaded Enjolras' mind and he froze on the spot, mug lifted halfway towards his mouth.
"You okay?" Feuilly frowned, noticing the way Enjolras' eyes widened.
"When Combeferre and Courfeyrac left the bar", Enjolras started slowly, raising his eyes to meet Feuilly's, "how was Combeferre?"
"What do you mean?" Feuilly asked, a tinge of humor in his lips as if Enjolras and him shared a private joke.
Enjolras swallowed dry before continuing, closing his eyes and praying for a deity he didn’t believe in that he was wrong.
"Was he... drunk?" Enjolras finally said.
Feuilly chuckled at this, shaking his head slightly.
"Man", he said lightheartedly. "I had never seen Combeferre that drunk in my entire life".
Enjolras groaned loudly and miserably, setting the mug aside to hide his face between both hands. He let his head fall against the kitchen counter, and ignored Feuilly's meek attempts at calling his attention.
-
"You don’t think I forgot our bet, do you?", was the first thing Courfeyrac told him as soon as they met on the day after Marius' party.
"Of course not", Enjolras said slowly and with scorn, in a monotone. "Why would you ever forget that".
"Here is the evidence that I won, in case you're thinking about doubting me", Courfeyrac said, pushing his phone towards Enjolras. The leader picked it up and gazed at the screen, which showed a photo of an apparently shitfaced Combeferre sitting on the lap of a stripper wearing nothing but a bathing suit and bunny ears. One of his legs was raised sensually and his lips were pouting as if to send a kiss. Courfeyrac was behind him in the image, mouth open as if he was screaming something, hand outstretched midair holding several bills. The stripper holding Combeferre in her lap looked horrified.
Enjolras pushed the phone back, sighing deeply and not looking at Courfeyrac.
"Fine", Enjolras said. "When am I supposed to go on the date?"
"Oh, no, no, no", Courfeyrac clicked his tongue, shaking his head and sitting on the couch beside Enjolras. "You'll have to ask him on the date, c'mon. It's supposed to be all cute and stuff. But since I am a nice guy, you can ask him out until the end of this week".
Enjolras got up from the couch, suddenly annoyed at Courfeyrac's joyful presence.
"Fine. I'll ask him tomorrow. I'm not feeling very well", Enjolras announced, even though that was a lie to get him away from Courfeyrac. "I think I'll take a nap. See you tomorrow?"
Courfeyrac took the cue, and was smirking when he got up from the couch and headed to the front door.
"Alright. See you tomorrow, Enjy!", he blew Enjolras a kiss before exiting the apartment and closing the door noisily behind him.
Later that day, when Enjolras called Combeferre to call him out on his betrayal, Combeferre sounded embarrassed enough at his own self for the events of the last night. He did sound terrible on the phone, Enjolras noticed, and decided to take it easy on his best friend.
"You don't have to do it unless you want it to, though, Enjolras", Combeferre croaked after Enjolras told him about the bet. "I'll talk to Courf, I'm sure he'll understand. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with".
Enjolras bit his lower lip in deep thought, considering Combeferre's words.
"I would appreciate that", Enjolras said. "But we both know how Courf is, he'll never let this go. Plus, you all have been wearing me out with this 'ask Grantaire on a date' thing. Maybe if I actually do it, you'll leave me alone".
Combeferre went silent at this, but Enjolras knew better than to urge him to respond. Combeferre usually went silent when in deep thought, and since he was a person who thought a lot before speaking, that meant prolonged minutes of silence over the phone.
"It's up to you, Enjolras", Combeferre finally said. "It's your decision. Don't do this because Courf made a bet with you, or because your friends want you to. Do this because you want to. And keep in mind that, despite everything, Grantaire has feelings for you, and no one should toy with anyone's feelings".
"I'm not toying with his feelings", Enjolras said, aware that he probably sounded like a stubborn child. "I'm giving him a chance. Like all of you said I would. I'll see how things go and, based on that, I'll make my decision".
The subject shifted from that point and Combeferre nearly hung up at Enjolras when he mentioned the picture Courfeyrac took. When Enjolras finally hung up, he was left staring at the wall for what felt like hours, wondering what to say to Grantaire and how to ask him out.
Grantaire might be a pain in the ass and Enjolras might not like him very much, but he still cared a little bit for the man. He didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Maybe, if he asked Grantaire out, had a terrible date and never went out again, Grantaire would be able to finally move on and fall in love with someone else, who actually loved him and could make him happy.
That's what he was doing, Enjolras told himself. He was helping Grantaire.
The thought didn’t make him sleep more easily on that night.
-
As the Monday meeting came to an end, Enjolras subtly approached Grantaire and tapped him lightly on the shoulder.
The cynic stared back at him in surprise, which was understandable. Enjolras rarely spoke to Grantaire outside meetings, and most of their interactions started with Grantaire going to him, not the other way around. If Enjolras was calling him now, it must be about something very important.
Grantaire frowned at the way his friends were smiling widely and winking at him as he followed Enjolras to the back room of the Musain, heart thumping madly inside his chest. He shoved his hands down his pockets to hide the fact that the palms were sweating – he was truly pathetic, wasn’t he? Enjolras tapped him on the shoulder and told him he wanted to talk and his palms were already sweating.
When the remaining Amis left and Enjolras and Grantaire were left alone at the backroom, Enjolras finally turned around to face the cynic. He looked stoic as ever, even if his eyes fluttered nervously at Grantaire ever so often.
"So?" Grantaire asked, raising an eyebrow and shaking his head lightly in an attempt to hide his nervousness. "Why did you call me here?"
"I wanted to ask you something", Enjolras said, so methodically that it sounded like he had rehearsed what he was supposed to say overnight.
"Go ahead", Grantaire shrugged, squinting a bit at Enjolras' pose.
Enjolras stared at him fixedly for a couple of seconds before saying matter-of-factly:
"I want to ask you on a date".
Grantaire stared back in surprise, lips slightly parted and eyes widening the tiniest bit before going back to squinting.
"Is this a joke?" He asked, suddenly angry.
"Of course not!" Enjolras responded, offended. "I wouldn’t joke about something like this".
"Then is this because the guys keep telling you to ask me out?" Grantaire squinted harder, suspicious. Enjolras took longer to reply this time, almost as if he was hesitating.
"No", he said simply.
Grantaire scoffed softly, still looking at Enjolras with wariness.
"Is this out of pity?" He asked. "Because honestly, Enjolras, the last thing I need is your pi-"
"It's not out of pity", Enjolras interrupted, already annoyed. "It's just me asking you out. You can say no if you want to, you don’t need to try to find excuses".
"No", Grantaire quickly said, lowering his head to hide his flush of embarrassment. Could this be really happening? Was Enjolras really asking him out? Out of his own free will? "No, I mean... yeah, I'll go... if... If this is what you really want, then yes. I'll... I'll go on a date with you".
He looked up at Enjolras, unable to suppress the smile forming on his face. Enjolras smiled back, tightly.
"So? Where do you want to go?" Enjolras asked, picking his backpack from a table and throwing it over his shoulder. Grantaire frowned in confusion, following him out of the room as he headed to the front door of the Musain.
"Wait, the date is right now?" Grantaire asked, trying to keep Enjolras' pace.
"Well, yes", Enjolras replied without turning to look at Grantaire. "I thought we could go to the Corinthe, it's a small restaurant two blocks from here, it's actually pretty nice-"
"Enjolras, I can't go on a date with you like this!" Grantaire interrupted, holding Enjolras' forearm to stop him from walking. Enjolras finally came to a halt, turning on his heels to look at Grantaire. He took a good look at the man, from head to toe.
"I don’t see what the problem is", Enjolras finally said, raising an eyebrow. Grantaire sighed loudly, looking up at the sky in a silent cry for help.
"Look, can you give me half an hour?", Grantaire said, nearly begging. "I live two buildings away from the Musain, we can go back to my apartment and I'll get ready in thirty minutes tops, ok?"
"But I don’t see what's wrong", Enjolras frowned as if Grantaire was mad. "You look just fine like this. Let's go".
"Enjolras, c'mon", Grantaire scoffed. "I wasn’t... I wasn’t expecting this, I'm not... I'm nowhere close to prepared. Just twenty minutes".
Enjolras eyes him for a few silent seconds, taking notice of how nervous Grantaire seemed to be. He finally nodded his head, resigned.
"Fine, let's go".
He had been at Grantaire's apartment once, to pick up posters for a protest a few months before. The place still looked exactly the same, except for a few more books scattered around the place and a forgotten beer bottle sitting on the coffee table.
"Make yourself comfortable", Grantaire said, smiling sympathetically as he tried to play a good host. "I'll be right back, just... ah, I don’t know. Do whatever you would do in your own home".
Then he disappeared on a hallway, and Enjolras was left alone on the living room.
He sat on the couch politely, fishing his phone out of his pocket and checking it. There were four new text messages.
From: Courfeyrac (19:41) I left a condom inside your wallet, feel free to use it as many times as you want
From: Courfeyrac (19:41) Though I'd recommend using it only once because you know.......... it's a condom
From: Courfeyrac (19:42) Well anyway be safe Enjy-bear
From: Combeferre (19:45) Have a nice night and remember, do not do to others what you would not want done to you ;-)
Enjolras locked the screen, deciding it wouldn’t be worth to reply to any of the messages. He suddenly felt a heavy weight pressing his chest, as if he was making a terrible decision. What if he only ended up hurting Grantaire? What if the man didn’t get over him?
He couldn’t back off now. He was already at Grantaire's, the man was getting dressed for their date, Enjolras couldn’t just call it off.
What if he actually gave Grantaire a chance?
A book sitting beside him on the arm rest called his attention and Enjolras picked it up. It was Fifty Shades of Grey, but when Enjolras opened it on the marked page, it was filled with highlighted passages and annotations or criticisms on the corners of the page. Enjolras read every single one of them, finding that he agreed with Grantaire on most of the points he made.
Finding there was another forgotten book on the coffee table, Enjolras picked it up, finding the same pattern of highlights and annotations on nearly all pages. He let his curiosity speak louder and dared to enter the kitchen, finding three more books scattered there. He would have never imagined that Grantaire read that much.
The sudden sound of a throat being cleared beside him called his attention and Enjolras looked up, only to find himself gaping in surprise.
Enjolras could find no words to describe how Grantaire was looking, other than stunning. He was wearing tight black pants, with a dark green shirt that fit him perfectly and highlighted the color of his eyes. A dark leather jacket was thrown over his shoulder, matching his black boots. He had shaved and the pleasant smell of cologne slowly found its way to Enjolras nostrils. His thick, dark curls were brushed back, more aligned than Enjolras had ever seen them but still managing to look disheveled. He looked amazing.
At meetings, Grantaire only showed up wearing his old grey hoodie and paint-stained jeans. His head always looked like a bird's nest and there was always five o'clock shadow on his face. On good days he looked like a hungover man, and on his bad days he looked like a drunk homeless person. Enjolras – who was not a man who gave much attention to physical appearance – had never spared a second thought to Grantaire's beauty. But seeing him like this now, he couldn’t deny that Grantaire was an attractive man when he wanted to.
Grantaire frowned at him, smile never leaving his face, and Enjolras felt himself blush. He had been staring for too long, hadn't he?
"You're good to go?" Enjolras asked, cleaning his own throat. Grantaire nodded contently at him, standing up straight from where he had been leaning on the kitchen's doorframe.
"So, we're going to the Corinthe, huh?" Grantaire asked, holding the door open to Enjolras.
"Yes", Enjolras answered shortly, unsure of what else he could say. An uneasy silence fell between them, a silence which Enjolras felt the need to fill. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure thing, Apollo", Grantaire smirked, rejoicing at the way Enjolras scowled at the hated nickname.
"Do you do that to all your books?"
"Do what?" Grantaire asked absentmindedly as they went down the stairs of his apartment building.
"Highlight every other phrase and scribble at the edges", Enjolras explained.
"They're not scribbles", Grantaire protested as if he had been offended. "They're carefully thought written annotations about the highlighted passages".
"You highlighted the phrase 'Holy cow' in Fifty Shades and wrote that it was 'the incipiency of a new, better era in modern literature'", Enjolras stated matter-of-factly.
Grantaire rolled his eyes, smiling.
"Alright, fine", Grantaire complied. "And yes, I do that to all my books".
"Why?" Enjolras frowned.
"Well, what is the point of spending actual money on a book if you can't scribble nonsense on it and ruin other people's readings when you lend it to them?"
"And who have you leant it to?"
"Unfortunately, no one. No one seems interested enough in my taste for books to ask for one".
"Well, I'm afraid I can understand. I didn’t find anything appealing, either".
"Now you offend me!", Grantaire exclaimed, raising his open palm to his chest in fake-shock. "I won't have you criticize my reading choices like this".
"Well, I'm sorry, I was just being honest", Enjolras shrugged.
"Oh, well? And I bet I can get you to read and like one of my books".
Enjolras shivered at the word 'bet', but shrugged to hide it.
"Alright", he complied. "And if you can't?"
Grantaire seemed pensive for a second before replying.
"Then I won't impose my obnoxious presence onto you any longer", he finally said, masking his self-loathing with a smirk and a wink.
"You're not imposing anything", Enjolras said with an eye roll as they sat on a tiny table at the corner of the Musain. "But I honestly doubt that I'll be interest in any book you could offer me. I haven't read anything non-related to poli-sci in ages".
Grantaire's eyes shined wickedly and he smirked, tiny crinkles appearing at the edge of his eyes.
"Ten bucks says I can change that", he purred.
"What's up with you and bets today?" Enjolras snapped without meaning to. Grantaire leaned a bit away from him, taken aback by the sudden burst.
"Sorry", Grantaire muttered, smile faltering ever so slightly. "I didn’t know of your dislike for bets", he pronounced the words slowly, almost sarcastically, as if well aware of how ridiculous they sounded.
Enjolras didn’t say anything, reading the menu several times before finally deciding what he would have and telling the waitress. Grantaire made his own order and the unnusual silence returned.
"Well", Grantaire said, trying to break the ice. "Why don't you tell me what you like, then?"
"What do you mean?" Enjolras frowned, still reading the menu even though he had already ordered. He found he couldn’t look Grantaire in the eye for some reason.
"Come on Apollo, we barely speak outside meetings. We barely speak inside meetings, if I'm being honest, because I don't think that yelling at each other counts as speaking". He smiled, leaning forward as if to show Enjolras he was open to conversation. "We've known each other for years, but I don’t think we properly know each other".
Enjolras gazed at Grantaire quickly before darting his eyes away to the menu again. He did this a few more times before feeling confident enough to properly look at the man and hold his gaze.
"So, do you want to know what my favorite color is or something like that?" Enjolras asked.
"Something like that", Grantaire smiled sympathetically, reaching and gently taking the menu from Enjolras' fidgeting hands.
"Red", Enjolras said, and Grantaire rolled his eyes with humor.
"What a surprise", Grantaire smiled.
"And yours is green", Enjolras continued, arrogantly.
"Actually, I'm afraid you're wrong", Grantaire corrected, shrugging. "Mine is red, too".
Enjolras frowned at him, and Grantaire chuckled.
"What about your favorite music?" Grantaire asked. "What does Apollo like to listen to?"
"Don't call me that", Enjolras reprimanded, biting his lower lip in thought. "Well, I like to listen to anything, but I believe my favorite is those heavy metal songs about fighting the status quo and revolution and – why are you laughing?", he frowned.
"You're so predictable", Grantaire said, but there was no malice or accusation in his tone, just amusement.
"No, I'm not", Enjolras protested. "Why, what's your favorite music style?", he asked with scorn.
"Well, I will listen to literally anything", Grantaire shrugged. "But I suppose my favorite is folk punk".
"Folk punk?!" Enjolras exclaimed, surprised. "Huh. Who'd know".
"You would", Grantaire said with a knowing look. "If you had bothered to ask".
Their food arrived and the pair went silent, giving space to the waitress to place the plates in front of them. Once she poured their drinks they were left alone once more, tiny candlelight flickering between them and making Enjolras' golden curls glow in a godlike manner. They started eating silently, Enjolras desperately thinking of a way to escape that situation.
He should have never accepted Courfeyrac's bet. He had thought that the date with Grantaire would be terrible, full of arguments and bickering and scorning. But this was actually nice, they were sitting in a nice restaurant, with a nice food and a nice atmosphere. Grantaire was actually being civil without being too polite, and Enjolras found himself not hating the man's company as he thought he would. And he looked – and smelled – nice, always trying to start little conversations to get to know Enjolras better.
This wasn’t fair. The date was supposed to suck, so that Enjolras wouldn’t need to go to a second one. How would he ever turn Grantaire down now?
"So, Apollo", Grantaire pronounced the name teasingly, smirking at Enjolras' glare. "Why are we here?"
Enjolras frowned in confusion.
"I thought you would like the Corinthe, it has nice food and they play live music on Thursdays-"
"Not here here, Enjoras", Grantaire rolled his eyes. "I mean on this date. You never gave any signs of being interested in me like, ever. What came over you to suddenly ask me on a date on the middle of a Monday night?"
Enjolras took a sip of his wine to subtly make up a response. He couldn’t tell Grantaire about the bet, even he knew that it would hurt the man's feelings. Enjolras hated lying and he rarely did so, but he could see no other way out of this.
"I've been interested in you for some time now", Enjolras said, not looking Grantaire in the eye as he put the glass of wine back down on the table. "I have been told that my actions don’t often match my emotions, so that's probably why you couldn’t tell".
Grantaire was staring at him with suspicion, but there was a tinge of hope deep inside his eyes.
"And what do you expect of it?" Grantaire asked, hesitation hidden in his voice.
"What do you mean?", Enjolras frowned.
Grantaire smiled patiently, despite letting out a soft sigh.
"Enjolras, we barely know each other", Grantaire explained. "We barely talk. This is the most civil we have been to each other since we met", he leant his elbows on the table, idly scratching the side of his eyebrow in a nervous manner. "I'm enjoying this, I really am, but I need to know what you expect. Is this a one-time thing? Are you looking for a relationship? Are you trying to meet new people? I'm not usually this blatant to my dates, but you know I never beat around the bush with you. I just... I need to know".
Enjolras looked deep inside Grantaire's eyes and saw the fear and insecurity he was so desperately trying to hide. He felt terrible, terrible for ever taking the bet, for asking Grantaire out, for being sat there right in front of him. He was a terrible, terrible person. No matter how much he thought he despised Grantaire, he found himself incapable of hurting the man's feelings. Specially when he was already aware that Grantaire had feelings for him.
"I don't know", Enjolras finally said, not sure of what else he could tell him. "I think we should see how things go. Get to know each other better before we think of starting a relationship".
Grantaire bit his lower lip, trying – and failing – to hide a smile.
"Well, are you free tomorrow?", he asked, shrugging slightly.
"Only during lunch, I'm afraid", Enjolras said, not feeling bad about lying this time. He had work to get done during the evening, and speeches to work on for the next ABC meeting. He wouldn’t let anyone or anything, not even his guilt for misleading Grantaire, get in the way of his cause.
"Would you mind it terribly if I met you for lunch?" Grantaire asked, forced certainty seepping through his tone. He smiled expectantly at Enjolras, who found himself unable not to smile back.
"No, that would be ok", Enjolras nodded. "Meet me at the Musain, 1 p.m.?"
Grantaire beamed at this.
"Sure", he agreed.
They split the bill and Grantaire announced he would walk Enjolras home, despite of the man's claims that it wasn’t necessary. While Grantaire lived basically beside the Musain, Enjolras lived nearly twenty minutes away from there, and the streets were too dark and empty at that time of the night, specially on a Monday.
"So, favorite movie?" Grantaire asked, walking slowly beside Enjolras, continuing their game of get to know each other.
"I don't think I have one", Enjolras shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets to keep them warm. "I don’t really like watching movies, they usually have too many plot issues for me to enjoy them".
"What?!" Grantaire frowned, looking at Enjolras as if he had grown a second head. "You 'don't like movies'? What kind of person are you?"
"It's not like I'm obliged to like them", Enjolras raised an eyebrow.
"No, no, no. This ain't right", Grantaire shook his head, though there was humor in his voice. "I'll change that. I'll make you like movies".
"You can try", Enjolras scoffed.
"You probably have been watching the wrong type of movies", Grantaire insisted, continuing to shake his head. "Look, there's a tiny cinema two blocks from the Musain. They don't usually play the blockbusters and the seats are kind of shitty, but every Thursday night they make a movie session with only cult films, half the price. What do you say?"
Enjolras bit his lower lip, considering. He already planned to have lunch with Grantaire, now he wanted to take Enjolras to the movies... This was way farther than Enjolras had expected to go. This was way farther than Enjolras had even wanted to go.
"I don’t know, I'd have to check my schedule", Enjolras said, one of the many lies he told Grantaire that night. "And I don’t know if I even like cult movies", he added, feeling a little less bad.
"Oh, just live a little", Grantaire rolled his eyes. "I promise you won't regret going. It doesn’t have to be a date or anything, if you don’t want it to. I just really can't believe you don’t like movies".
"I'll check my schedule and let you know if can make it", Enjolras responded in a tone that told Grantaire that the subject was over.
"Alright. Favorite book?" Grantaire asked.
"Oh, no, that's unfair question", Enjolras shook his head, smiling. "It's not like I could choose only one book!"
Grantaire laughed loudly at this, looking at Enjolras with affection.
"Alright, top five, then?"
"I can't do that, either, I need to think about it", Enjolras said. "I don’t want to end up choosing the wrong books".
"Do you put that much thought on everything you do in your life?" Grantaire asked, smirking.
Clearly not, Enjolras thought, but deviated his gaze to stare up at the sky instead.
"Most times, yes", he said. "I like to think things carefully before doing them, otherwise I might end up failing".
"And you can't have that", Grantaire stated, eyes never leaving Enjolras' face.
"No, I can't", Enjolras replied, finally looking back at Grantaire. He came to a stop, reaching the front of his apartment building. Grantaire stopped beside him, suddenly flushing and avoiding Enjolras' eyes.
"I've... Um, I've had a very nice evening", Grantaire said, looking at his feet.
"Me too", Enjolras smiled with embarrassment. That wasn’t a lie.
Grantaire looked up at him, pink tinging this cheeks and the tip of his ears. He was mere inches away from Enjolras and yet they weren't touching. They had been staring at each other, tense and embarrassed for a few seconds when Grantaire finally broke the silence.
"May, uh, m-may I kiss you?" Grantaire asked nervously.
Enjolras didn’t know what to answer. Did he want to kiss Grantaire? Could he do that to the man, when he was aware of his feelings and didn’t return them? Was he taking advantage of Grantaire? Would it hurt the cynic's feelings if he said no? Grantaire stared at him with expecting eyes, hands fidgeting anxiously beside his body. Enjolras found himself leaning slightly forward in invitation, eyes fluttering close a little bit too forcefully to look natural. Grantaire closed the remaining distance between them and their lips met softly. Grantaire smelled good and the scent invaded Enjolras' senses, as did the softness of his apparently chapped lips and the warmth of their skins touching.
They parted after a few seconds, both flushed and awkward, Enjolras slowly blinking his eyes open to find Grantaire's grey ones staring back at him with dilated pupils and a dumbstruck look. He looked like he could have just won the jackpot, if Enjolras hadn't known better.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Apollo", Grantaire said, smirking as his words finally made their way into Enjolras brain and the man started to glare at him. He turned on his heels before Enjolras could respond and walked down the street, disappearing as he doubled the corner.
Enjolras numbly reached for his key and opened the building's door, feeling oddly conflicted. In one hand, he had tricked Grantaire into thinking he might be interested in a romantic relationship with him when he actually wasn’t , but on the other he had a pleasant night that was nowhere near as excruciating as he thought it would be.
As he entered the apartment and went straight to his bedroom, allowing himself to fall heavily on the bed, Enjolras let his fingers touch his lower lip lightly, as if he could still feel the phantom of Grantaire's lips against his. He shouldn’t have let him do that. He shouldn’t have gone on that date. All of this was a mistake.
He thought about calling Combeferre, but he felt too guilty about everything that happened to talk about it to anyone. He had taken advantage of Grantaire's feelings. He was a terrible person. He needed to put an end to this, before he could hurt the man.
He would go out to grab lunch with him on the following day, and that would be it. He would make up an excuse about not wanting a relationship or being too busy with work, anything that ended this whirlwind of lies he had gotten himself into and that sent things back to normality. Grantaire would probably get hurt at first, but it would be better to hurt him now than to let things develop further and out of his control.
Enjolras nodded to himself, making up his mind. After the lunch, he would end that mess with Grantaire for good.
He didn’t sleep the whole night, eyes wide open staring at his ceiling and hands hovering by his own lips every other twenty seconds, remembering the feeling of Grantaire against his body and the sweet, wine-like taste of their first kiss.