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Atsushi wondered if his life would be easier if he had been born a yokai. To have a shrine where people would leave you offerings such as food, clothing, treasures, or even animals. Not having to worry about where your next meal came from was all Atsushi wanted out of life. Atsushi didn't even know if yokai could eat human food, as he heard rumours that some preyed on humans or even other yokai. But that didn't stop him from dreaming of an easier life.
Honestly, Atsushi was glad that he was good at hunting, or else he would've starved to death ages ago. During the winter, it was more challenging to survive, so he was left with no choice but to steal food since any village he entered chased him out. Apparently, they thought his eye colour would bring a curse down on all of them.
Yes, they were an unusual colour, but Atsushi didn't understand why they all thought that his sunset-like eyes were evil. Atsushi even saved a little girl from drowning in a river, and in thanks, her father tried to kill him. If Atsushi got a coin for every time someone attempted to kill him, he'd be living a very comfortable life. But, even if he had money, he would still be alone because no one wanted to be near him. Atsushi didn't know what he would have to do to make people believe he wasn't a monster or that he wouldn't cause their village to be cursed.
To have a warm place to sleep and enough food to live on was all that Atsushi wanted out of life. He didn't think that was asking for much, but he knew it would be difficult to achieve. No one wanted to hire him because they feared that interacting with him would cause them misfortune.
So, life was anything but easy for Atsushi. He didn't know where he was going in life. All Atsushi could do was hope that the next village he came across would treat him better than the last.
His memory was foggy whenever Atsushi thought of the past. He knew he was forgetting something important. It was like it was at the tip of his mind, but no matter how hard Atsushi tried, he couldn't recall what it was. He would usually end up with a massive headache. Atsushi wanted nothing more than to remember, but it had been five years, and he was no closer to remembering what he had lost.
Or even if he could reclaim what he had lost, even if he remembered.
The only thing that gave Chuuya's life any purpose was tracking down Shibusawa and making sure that when he's done with him, the dragon yokai would be begging for death. A death that Chuuya intended to make slow and painful. But, unfortunately, he was no closer to finding him than he had been five years ago. It was like all traces of him disappeared the night he killed Atsushi.
Chuuya was tired, but he had to keep going. He wouldn't be able to rest until Shibusawa no longer took a breath on this earth.
There wasn't a day that Chuuya hadn't missed Atsushi. His smile, his laugh. The way he could calm Chuuya down when he felt like he was going to lose control.
During a full moon, when Atsushi would be at his strongest, Chuuya would always be mesmerised by him. The way he would shine under the moonlight. To watch him fight another yokai who threatened to take their land. Chuuya was always the protector, but during those moments, he loved being the protected one.
They promised to be together forever, but how fair was it that forever was only one year?
Chuuya was supposed to be one of the strongest yokai, yet he failed to protect his most valuable treasure. If only he hadn't gone out to hunt that night, Atsushi would still be here. Their home wouldn't have been burnt to the ground.
He never had a problem with being alone before he met Atsushi, so Chuuya never knew how much loneliness and heartbreak could hurt.
Chuuya began to hear rumours of a man with sunset-like eyes. He was said to be cursed and should be avoided at all costs. Chuuya's heart skipped a beat when he first heard of them. In all his centuries alive on this earth, he only ever met one with eyes like that. His Atsushi.
He couldn't be alive, could he? Atsushi surely would've found him by now with his tiger senses unless he didn't want to. If that was the case, Chuuya didn't care if Atsushi didn't want to be with him any more. All that mattered to him was that Atsushi was alive.
Chuuya shook his head. Atsushi wasn't like that. He would give Chuuya closure if he genuinely wanted to end things between them. And Chuuya saw the state of their home the night Atsushi was killed. Even after the flames went out, the stench of blood was still in the air. Only Atsushi's bracelet, which he never took off, remained. It was all that Chuuya had left of Atsushi, since when yokai die, their bodies disappear.
The more Chuuya looked into the rumours, the more he learnt that the man with the sunset-like eyes was human. Atsushi was a pure yokai with no human blood in his bloodline so that it couldn't be him.
It did intrigue Chuuya to at least meet the human. It could also be a trap set by Shibusawa to lure him in even better if that were the case.
When Chuuya locked eyes with the man with the sunset-like eyes, it was like everything had stopped. There was no mistake. The man was Atsushi, but something was different. He no longer had any tiger-like features. The power that Chuuya used to be able to sense around him was gone. Atsushi was undoubtedly human?
Atsushi approached the yokai slowly. “Do I know you?” He couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew who the yokai was.
“Yes.” It took everything for Chuuya not to let the tears fall. How he missed that voice. The urge to pull Atsushi into his arms and never let him go. But he couldn't. Not when Atsushi didn't remember him.
It was nearly nightfall. Chuuya and Atsushi were sitting around a campfire.
Atsushi tried not to stare at the horns on Chuuya's head. "You're a yokai."
"You're not scared?" Humans usually ran from Chuuya, thinking he was the devil because of his horns. It probably was for the best. They didn't need to know he was actually the King of the Sheep.
"No. I don't know why, but I know that you won't harm me." Atsushi couldn't explain why he knew that. It was weird because the moment he met Chuuya, he felt safe, and that was a feeling he was unfamiliar with.
"You're too trusting." It reminded Chuuya of when they first met. Atsushi instantly trusted him, which took him by surprise because no one had ever trusted the redhead so quickly before.
Atsushi shook his head. "I don't think so." It was like a part of him was screaming that he could trust Chuuya. "You never explained how we used to know each other."
"It's a long story." How would he begin to explain to Atsushi that he's also a yokai, or used to be, and they used to be in a relationship right before Chuuya thought he had been killed? Chuuya didn't want Atsushi to feel pressured in any way to be with him.
"I have time." Atsushi wanted to know about the life he used to have.
Atsushi's eyes widened in shock. “I'm a yokai?”
Chuuya scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Yeah, or you used to be. I'm not exactly sure why you appear to be human right now." Chuuya heard of a mage who might be able to help. Apparently, there was nothing that man didn't know.
Atsushi could hardly believe that he was a powerful tiger yokai. It was a lot to take in, but it made Atsushi happy because there was more to him than he initially thought.
Chuuya cleared his throat. "We were in a relationship." He didn't know if it was right to tell Atsushi right now because he was basically a stranger to his former lover, but Chuuya needed to say it.
"Oh." Atsushi felt his heart skip a beat.
Chuuya looked down. He should have kept his mouth shut. Let Atsushi come to terms with the fact that he's a yokai, but he had to be selfish and tell him about their past. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his cheek. He looked up to see Atsushi's worried eyes staring at him.
"I'm sorry." Atsushi's voice was barely above a whisper.
"What are you sorry for, Atsushi?" The redhead didn't understand why Atsushi was apologising to him. If anyone should be sorry, it was Chuuya for failing to protect Atsushi when he needed him the most.
"Losing me, well, the old me affected you." It was easy to see in Chuuya's eyes that he was hurting. The last five years hadn't been easy for Atsushi. Everywhere he went, he had been met with cold eyes. It made him lose hope that he would ever mean something to anyone. So, finding out that someone cared for Atsushi that much was like a dream come true.
Chuuya closed his eyes, leaning into the warm hand. He couldn't bring himself to say anything because if he did, he'd probably break down.
"I'll remember you, Chuuya-san. I promise."
"Shibusawa is dead. He died trying to take Atsushi down with a technique that kills yokai. To protect Atsushi, his inner tiger sealed his yokai side, and as a side effect, he became human and lost his memories." Ranpo explained it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"He's dead…" Chuuya didn't know how to feel. He had spent the last five years trying to track down the dragon yokai. He's glad he's dead, but a part of him wishes that he was the one who got to bring his life to an end.
"How do I unseal my yokai side, Ranpo-san?" Atsushi asked the mage.
"I can do it, but there would be a cost." It wouldn't be the first time that Ranpo helped someone unseal their true self.
"What is it?" Atsushi really hoped Ranpo wouldn't ask for money, because he didn't even have a penny to his name.
"You'll never regain your old memories."
"Do it." Chuuya didn't see any reason to discuss it, since the best thing for Atsushi would be to have his yokai side unsealed.
"Wait…" Atsushi didn't know how he felt about never regaining his memories. He had even made a promise to Chuuya that he would remember him.
Chuuya shook his head. "It's not safe for you as a human, Atsushi, and we don't know how long it would take to find someone who could help." Chuuya noticed that Atsushi had aged slightly since he last saw him. Humans had short lives. Chuuya couldn't risk it. He also didn't think they'd find anyone better than Ranpo to help them.
Atsushi tightened his fists. He wanted to remember the life he had with Chuuya. If he doesn't, they lose what they had forever.
Understanding Atsushi's inner turmoil, Chuuya reached out and took his hand. "I'd like to create new memories with you, Atsushi, if you'd have me."
Atsushi felt his heart flutter. The stress of not being able to remember any more didn't seem important. "I'd really love that, Chuuya-san."
Ranpo rolled his eyes at the two. "You both are sickening." However, he couldn't hide the slight smile from forming on his face.
Atsushi found being a yokai again difficult at first. It was like he could feel and hear everything around him. It became too much at times, but with Chuuya's help, he was able to focus and not let himself get overwhelmed by his new abilities.
During his first full moon, Atsushi honestly thought he would lose control completely. He was so glad that he had Chuuya by his side because Atsushi didn't even want to think about what would've happened.
It wasn't hard for Atsushi to learn how his past self fell in love with Chuuya. The yokai was incredibly considerate. Chuuya had tracked down some of Atsushi's favourite books from when they were together the first time and would read them to him at night. Listening to Chuuya's voice was very soothing, and Atsushi knows he loves those books even more now than he did before.
When Chuuya had told Atsushi that he was King of the Sheep, he shouldn't have been surprised when a couple of sheep showed up at their camp one morning. They were wary of Atsushi at first, which he assumed was because he was a tiger yokai. Chuuya whispered something to them, causing the smallest one to approach Atsushi and nudged him. Demanding to be petted, which Atsushi was more than happy to oblige. The sheep stayed for a few hours before wandering off.
After the third time of Sheep showing up at their camp, Atsushi asks Chuuya if any tigers ever show up. Chuuya's face had instantly paled. There had only ever been one that showed up, and that tiger hated Chuuya and would growl any time he went near Atsushi. At the end, Atsushi had to send the tiger away when she tried to eat Chuuya.
Sheep and tigers shouldn't get along, but Atsushi and Chuuya proved that wrong.
As time went by, being a yokai became like second nature to Atsushi. He got to travel the world with someone who meant everything to him. Also, it didn't take long for Chuuya and Atsushi's bond to become stronger than it was before.