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they have stolen you away from me
took you deep into the underground
and i was helpless, helpless, you see
to stay away and let you be bound
***
The waters have parted and the stone bridge rose with an odd noise, allowing access to the small island that had become Shen Jiu's permanent residence. The final resting space for his bones, once the beast grew bored enough to let him die.
He was too tired to look up. The beast's smug face was already engraved into his memory. The steps neared, sounding... Odd. Familiar in a way that didn't bring along the promise of pain.
The immortal binding cables which kept his golden core inaccessible and his limbs immobile - the cables which he half-thought would have been ingrown after years of constricting him without pause - fell away, cut through in a swift motion.
A hand grasped him by the elbow, foreign qi entering him in a rush and spreading through the ruins of his meridians. He was being tugged to his feet at the same time, the limbs barely able to support him after such a long period of disuse.
Had he not been a cultivator, they would have long since withered to nothing.
His vision went black at the sudden elevation, and by the time it returned, the hand holding him retreated.
The figure, when Shen Jiu looked, was unmistakeable. The first thought was reflexive; a relieved Qi-ge came for me. The second was an observation: Qi-ge's back is turned.
"Zh-zhangmen-" Shen Jiu's voice was too unused, his mouth too dry to speak.
Qi-ge's back stiffened. Rummaging through his sleeve, he retrieved a gourd of water, setting it down on the ground behind him. Then, he took a couple steps towards the stone bridge.
Shen Jiu took it to mean that the water was intended for his use. He kneeled to reach it, too unsure of his muscles to risk crouching, and drank a little.
"Zhangmen shixiong," he managed, holding the bottle in his hands. It felt like a novelty, having something to hold. "What brings you down here?"
Because certainly it wasn't just Shen Jiu's company. He wasn't certain how much time had passed since he had been thrown into the water prison, but it was long, and Qi-ge had failed to visit even once before this. He could barely look Shen Jiu in the eye at the trial!
...Now, Qi-ge couldn't even look in his vague direction.
Without speaking a word, Qi-ge took another few steps forward.
"Leaving so soon?" Shen Jiu tried to sound cutting, but it came out wrong. As if he was pleading for Qi-ge to stay. He was just... Confused. This visit made no sense.
Qi-ge didn't respond, had yet to say a word, as if it had been him who spent years isolated away in prison. His hand twitched in a vague motion to follow, and Shen Jiu-
Well. It's not like he had anything better to do.
"Where are you taking me?" He asked, watching the stone bridge as he tentatively stepped off the island. Neither moved. "The island might be rather... Barren, but it's unlikely that you'll find a room more suited to your tastes, down here. Unless Zhangmen shixiong grew to appreciate torture dungeons in the last few years."
Why, why was Qi-ge so silent? The man Shen Jiu knew couldn't stop spilling meaningless apologies every time they spoke; The lack of any response was eerie.
Shen Jiu would have even tolerated another empty sorry if only to fill in the silence.
"Zhangmen shixiong?" Shen Jiu paused just before the end of the stone bridge. What if it was a test? What if the beast would claim he had tried to escape, and punished him for the attempt?
Qi-ge paused a few steps away, waiting. Waiting for Shen Jiu to follow him. Refusing to leave without him, not this time.
To hell with the beast's punishment; He'd come up with an excuse to torture Shen Jiu anyway.
He stepped off the bridge, ignoring the way it immediately began to submerge, rushing towards Qi-ge as fast as his battered body could allow.
Qi-ge didn't let Shen Jiu reach him, though, beginning to walk away again at a brisk pace. Just fast enough to keep them at a constant distance, no closer and no further.
"Zhangmen shixiong?" Shen Jiu called again, confusion growing with every step that brought them closer to the massive stone stairs. The ones which, he knew, would lead them outside of the prison if they navigated them correctly. "Qi-ge! Why won't you answer me?"
What had been the point of walking into the Water Prison - whether it was through breaking in or somehow gaining access - if Qi-ge refused to say anything? If he refused to even look at him?
Shen Jiu told him as such, voice growing bitter. "You could have just stayed back in Cang Qiong if you wanted to pretend I didn't exist. You've had no issues doing so the first time around."
Qi-ge stumbled on the next step, but what did it mean when it changed nothing? It was just as meaningless as his apologies always were. More, even.
Then, he began to climb up and Shen Jiu... hesitated. Those were very many stairs to climb after such a long period of immobility. Was it worth exerting so much effort when he didn't know what was waiting for him at the top? What if there would be more pain, more humiliation? What if Qi-ge forced him to climb all that way up only for the beast to toss him back down?
Clearly, Qi-ge wouldn't answer, but... He addressed the waiting back, voice trembling.
"You wouldn't... If I follow you... It won't be worse, right? Qi-ge wouldn't make it worse?"
Qi-ge's hand tightened into a fist, his knuckless bone-white with the force of his grip. His head bowed, but the only answer was whatever Shen Jiu decided to divine out of his actions.
"Very well," Shen Jiu's hand braced against the central column as he took the first step. "This one will trust Qi-ge. Just..."
He didn't know how to finish that sentence, so he didn't. Qi-ge was free to imagine whatever ending he wished. Just this once? Just because it was him? Just for the sake of their past? Just don't hurt me more? All of them had passed through Shen Jiu's mind.
Step by step, they climbed away from the Water Prison. It was slow-going. Shen Jiu was at his weakest, here, and Qi-ge refused to get further than three steps away at any point.
It was almost as bad as some of the beast's torture, this endless climb.
The first time they took a break, it was because Shen Jiu's body demanded one, sending him to his knees.
Qi-ge had twitched, twisted as if to look back, only to stop himself at the last moment. But his back was rigid, his hands shaking. Shen Jiu watched, analyzing, only snapping out of it when Qi-ge carefully started searching for the lower step with his foot, still looking forwards.
"I'm fine," Shen Jiu told him, forcing himself back to his feet. "Just tripped."
The tension slipped out of Qi-ge's shoulders, a relieved sigh barely audible.
"Let's keep going," Shen Jiu prompted, even though he was unsure how much he could force himself to walk.
Still, every step away from his prison was a step worth suffering.
But it didn't take long to stumble again, his knees crashing into the next step and hands scraping against the rough stone. He hissed, instantly reassuring that he was fine, that it was okay to keep going.
But this time, Qi-ge wouldn't budge. He crouched down, those three steps above, and sat there for long enough that Shen Jiu managed to catch his breath. He even took a couple sips of water before standing back up, his heartbeat even.
"Can we continue, now?" He asked, though his voice lacked any bite.
Qi-ge wordlessly resumed their trek.
The next time they paused, Shen Jiu was barely even huffing, and far from collapsing. And yet, at some arbitrary point, Qi-ge decided they needed to pause.
"I'm not this weak," Shen Jiu hissed, venom returning. Even now, Qi-ge was treating him like fragile piece of ceramic, as if any rougher handling would cause him to shatter. As if he hadn't already been crushed near to dust, forced to rebuild himself over and over again.
But no amount of vitrol was capable of changing Qi-ge's mind - he's always seemed rather immune to Shen Jiu's fits - and so he was forced to take that break.
He counted the steps, once they moved forward again. And after an even hundred, Qi-ge stopped again.
Shen Jiu had no doubt that, left to his own devices, Qi-ge would force a break every hundred of steps. And even if he had no idea how many steps were there, exactly, the thought of stopping so many times-
"Please," the word escaped him before he could stop it. "Please, Qi-ge, I just want to leave. Can we keep going?"
Qi-ge, predictably, said nothing. Only the stiffness of his back betrayed that he had even heard the words.
Still standing, Shen Jiu rested his forehead against the stone column. He closed his eyes, though it did little against the stubborn tears clinging to his eyelids. Throughout all of the beast's torture, he didn't cry. Throughout most of his life, he didn't cry, and those few times he did were fake, the con he pulled with Qi-ge to earn some food in their bellies.
And yet here, now, when faced with something as small as taking a bit longer leaving the prison...
"It's cold and I'm tired and-" he whispered, more to himself than to Qi-ge. "Please, just let Xiao Jiu leave."
Qi-ge flinched as if struck. Then, he rushed to untie his outer robe, for a reason Shen Jiu couldn't understand. He slipped his second outer robe off of his right arm, tying the two sleeves together, and passed the other robe back.
Shen Jiu, baffled, accepted the clothes, wasting little time in putting the robe on. He did just say he was cold, though he hadn't really expected any results.
He couldn't put his right arm in, the tied sleeves pulling them together, but that was but a small inconvenience. The fact that Qi-ge started walking again without forcing a break was success enough to overshadow it.
Even if their pace was a little slower, now, they were still making good time. It was getting brighter with every step and, soon, Shen Jiu could almost swear he could see the light of the day far above-
Of course, that was too close to freedom for the fate to allow. Having been paying far too much attention to what was above him and not nearly enough to the steps below his feet, Shen Jiu had stepped wrong, his ankle rolling from underneath him.
He collapsed to the ground, only the connection between their robes stopping him from falling back down the stairs, or straight off of them.
It would have been lucky. It would have been, except that-
Shen Jiu couldn't help but laught. Clutching onto the stone, he tried putting his weight on the leg, but it refused to bear it.
He sat on the step, laughing through tears.
Turning to look at Qi-ge's back, he wondered why he had even dared to hope.
"...my leg is broken," he said, the words echoing those he had said all those years ago. Qi-ge couldn't see him then, either. "Qi-ge will have to go ahead alone. But he'll remember to come back for his Xiao Jiu, right? Maybe- maybe in our next life, we'll finally make it."
Qi-ge crouched down, but it was pointless. No matter how long he would wait, Shen Jiu couldn't heal that break on his own. Not with how little spiritual power his core had.
"It's okay. I didn't- I didn't really think this would work," he whispered. It was true. He hadn't expected Qi-ge to save him, just as he hadn't back at the Qiu manor. "It's enough that you tried. That's- that's all Xiao Jiu ever wanted. For Qi-ge to try."
Qi-ge's back was shaking, now. Shen Jiu reached towards the knot on the sleeves, but it was too tight for his still-stiff fingers to untie. He sighed, bracing himself to remove the robe.
He glanced over the edge of the stairs, a sheer drop straight down to the Water Prison.
Where he went next, he would have no need for clothes.
But before he could do anything he couldn't reverse, Qi-ge's back straightened with determination, his hand moving back to pat it.
It took Shen Jiu a moment to realize what that was supposed to mean. "You want me to climb your back?" He asked, incredulous.
It was an embarassing suggestion. He wasn't a child do be carried around! But...
Shen Jiu wanted to live. He wanted to leave this place with Qi-ge, wanted to feel the sun on his face one last time, to dip his feet into a cold stream, to hear the wind rushing through a bamboo groove-
Forcing himself to stand up, he carefully manouvered himself to climb onto Qi-ge's back, winding his arms and legs around him. Clutching, tightly, as if for once that'd stop the good fortune from ripping his Qi-ge away from him.
Qi-ge, for his part, clung just as tightly. One hand supporting Shen Jiu's thigh, the other holding on to his arm.
Once certain that Shen Jiu was solidly placed, Qi-ge began walking again, his pace slightly faster but steady, his steps careful. Shen Jiu let himself drift away, forehead resting against the broad back.
For a moment, he was back in the past, before anything happened. Before the Water Prison, before Cang Qiong, before the Qiu Manor. Back when it was just him and Qi-ge wandering the streets.
Back when he still thought Qi-ge was the one person who'd keep their promises.
He dozed off, a bit; He must have, because the next time Shen Jiu blinked his eyes open, they were standing outside.
The light hurt his eyes, long since used to nothing more than weak firelight at best, and when he could finally see his surroundings, he was met with the sight of the beast, accepting some jade token from Qi-ge.
"I'll be honest, I didn't think you'd succeed," he said, looking at Shen Jiu, but he had no idea what the beast was talking about.
"I did not speak to him," Qi-ge said, his voice rough. "I did not look back. He followed me, and we made it out."
"So you did," the beast's eyes wandered down, and Shen Jiu could feel Qi-ge's grip growing tighter. "Bent the rules a little, there, did you?"
"You said nothing about touching. You didn't say he had to walk the entire way."
"Mhm."
Shen Jiu tensed, waiting for the other shoe to drop. If it came down to it, he'd return to the Water Prison. If it meant protecting Qi-ge from his own naivety, he would do it.
"Very well," the beast shrugged. "I suppose the deal is set, then. I hope you don't grow to regret your choice, Yue Qingyuan. Shen Jiu, in exchange for Cang Qiong."
"I won't regret it," Qi-ge said and, without another word or any hesitation, stepped upon his sword.
They rose into the air, moving in a direction Shen Jiu couldn't recognize. All he knew was that it wasn't the way one should take to reach Cang Qiong.
Frankly, he didn't really care what their destination was. As long as Qi-ge was with him, he would even stay in the demon realm.
He was drifting away again, still weak from his imprisonment and the hundreds of stairs he had managed to climb. But it was okay; Qi-ge had him.
Qi-ge had came back for him.
***
it's been too long already, it has
i was too late once, but that was then
it matters not, the miles between us
i'll round the world to find you again
- "he who dares not to accept this fate", Daniel Peters, 1986
