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"I must say, it's kind of weird without Daniel here," Stiles says in his pajamas from their bed. "I miss him, y'know?" Because the reality is that the house feels empty without him and it's the first time Stiles is apart from Daniel since they’d left his dad’s house.
"Yeah, well, I miss him, too," Jackson says as he comes out of the bathroom and enters the bedroom. He's wearing pajamas like any other night since he came back from the clinic. "But I've missed being alone with you and I'm glad we went out tonight."
Jackson lifts the quilt and gets in bed. It's a big bed, which he hopes has made it easier for Stiles to sleep next to him.
"Was it what you expected? I mean, do you regret it?"
Stiles snorts. "How can you even ask me that?" Stiles asks waving his arms.
"You didn't say much on the way back. I don't know what you were thinking. And honestly, I'm not sure what you expected."
"Yeah well, I'm not sure what I expected either. I don't have anything to compare it to. You said that my date would have ditched me, so I mean, I'm sure our first date had to be better, right?"
Jackson licks his lips and rearranges the two big pillows in a way that he can look at Stiles and still be comfortable.
"Stiles, the situation is completely different. We’re different people. You can't ask me to compare two completely different moments of--"
"I'm not so different," Stiles interrupts him. "You just told me that the other day. So just answer me."
Jackson runs his hand through his hair. "God, we were seventeen... we just went to a coffee house and then we got a text from Derek about a pack meeting that evening and we had to leave earlier than we thought. So, it was pretty simple, and a secret, so I don't know what else I can tell you."
Stiles seems to be considering his words because he doesn't say anything at first. He just looks at Jackson in that way that makes him wonder what's going through his mind.
"Stiles?" Jackson asks.
"Why are you wearing pajamas?"
"What?" Jackson says, raising his eyebrows, obviously confused.
"Yes, since you came back, you've been wearing pajamas every night and I’ve been wondering if that's because of me or what? I know you didn't wear them before."
"So, you've been wondering all this time and you’re only asking me now?"
"I thought... I was afraid you thought it was stupid... or whatever."
But Jackson knows what he means. Before Stiles left, on the sofa, he wasn't wearing a shirt and Stiles is nothing if not perceptive and curious. Jackson knew it was a matter of time.
"I just thought it wasn't a good idea to be shirtless if we’re sleeping in the same bed. I thought it could make you uncomfortable." Not to mention that he's pregnant and he doesn't feel very comfortable being shirtless in that condition.
"Well, you should have asked me about it. I can handle it. Sometimes I feel like you're hiding your belly from me, y'know? And I wonder how it was the first time. I wish I could remember what happened."
"I'm not hiding anything from you but I can't forget what happened. I know this is all new and unexpected to you. Of course, I want you to be a part of it. I just didn't want it to be like in your face all the time. I didn't want you to freak out or something. Not to mention that my face looks flushed all the time and I’m not feeling especially attractive right now."
In normal circumstances Jackson wouldn't admit feeling insecure. He'd go to the gym, he'd work harder and he'd get back in shape. But right now the situation is completely different. Right now he feels huge, overheated, sweaty and there's some pain in his feet and ribcage that he knows is not going anywhere for the next three months. Not to mention stretchmarks on his stomach that he avoids looking whenever he takes a shower.
"Jackson, I'm not going to freak out. I'm here because I want to be. I see you every day and I know you're very much pregnant. So I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, okay? It’s my kid too and I don't want to miss anything. I've missed enough stuff as it is, don't you think?"
"Okay, yeah. I guess you have," Jackson admits, looking at Stiles as he runs his hand over his belly.
"It's like you said before… it's my second chance at this. I really don’t want to ruin it," Stiles says with sincerity.
There is a silence after that where Stiles keeps looking at him and it seems like he wants to say something but he can't find the words or the nerve to say it.
Jackson licks his lips. "Would you like to feel the baby... maybe?" Jackson holds his breath without realizing he's doing it.
To Jackson's surprise, Stiles doesn't hesitate.
"Yeah, I'd like that." Stiles smiles. "My hands aren’t too warm though."
"That's fine." Jackson smiles back.
Jackson removes the quilt, "Come closer... Give me your hand."
Stiles gets on top of the quilt, sitting cross-legged next to Jackson.
Jackson lifts his pajama top before taking Stiles's right hand and placing it on his belly. He keeps his hand over Stiles’s and he looks at him, waiting for a reaction like he did years ago.
"I think... I think I don't feel anything," Stiles says, frowning.
"Give it a minute," Jackson says, enjoying the touch of Stiles's hand on his skin after so long. "Sometimes you can't feel anything, but it was moving so I'm pretty sure you'll feel--"
"Oh shit!" Stiles interrupts him. "What's that?" Stiles asks, full of excitement "I feel it... it’s kicking, isn't it? The baby’s kicking." Stiles smiles and he moves his hand slowly around that side.
"No, sorry to ruin it for you but those are just hiccups," Jackson says.
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's stronger when there's kicking..."
"How does it feel?" Stiles says without losing contact.
Jackson isn't surprised by the question because he's already been through this and even if he hadn't, he knows Stiles and probably anybody would react the same way when it comes to this.
"Well, like a very regular flutter in my gut. It's hard for me to describe it, really... Different than the bubbly feeling of the baby moving, like a sort of regular light thump under my diaphragm."
"It sounds weird," Stiles says, frowning.
"Yeah, it is very weird," Jackson nods as his fingers keep caressing Stiles's.
Stiles licks his lips and looks at Jackson, but stays silent.
"You know, what you said before, I don't think it's true. You're always attractive, pregnant or not pregnant. Even when we weren't... you know..." Stiles waves his arms, "friends... I always thought your were hot... a hot asshole, but still, yeah..."
Jackson snorts, because he really wasn't fishing for compliments before. He was just being honest.
"If you're trying to boost my ego, you don't need to. I'm very aware of how I look."
"I'm not trying to do anything." Stiles shakes his head.
Jackson looks at him in that particular way that he knows means that he's not buying it.
"Look, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been trying..." Stiles hesitates, trying to gather his thoughts. "I've tried to be more..." Stiles closes his eyes for a second and sighs. "I mean, I've tried to show that it's okay for you to touch me, okay? I've tried anyway I could think of--"
"Wait, did Derek tell you to do that?" Jackson frowns.
"What?" Stiles says, raising his eyebrows. "No, no... Derek didn't tell me shit. This has nothing to do with him. Shit, Jackson… I thought things would be different this time. I thought that's what you wanted. I thought you'd try to kiss me or something but even though we're living together and sleeping together, and I'm trying to show that I'm not gonna freak out if you touch me, it's like you're not interested. And I'm wondering if maybe you don't find me attractive anymore or maybe you think I don't find you attractive because you're pregnant. I mean, I don't know what to think and it's really confusing." Stiles runs his left hand through his hair.
"Are you done?" Jackson says.
"Yeah... Yeah, I'm done."
"Good," Jackson says, sitting up straight until his face is just inches away from Stiles's. "Because I want to kiss you. Right now."
Jackson brushes the back of his hand lightly down Stiles's cheek and Stiles freezes. He thought he was ready for this to happen but now that it's actually going to happen there's a mix of fear, anticipation, and excitement.
As soon as he feels the warmth of Jackson's skin against his cheek, he can feel his mouth going dry and he's pretty sure that his heart has never beaten so fast.
"I love you so much," Stiles can hear Jackson saying, and if he’s ever had any doubt about Jackson's feelings, just by the way he's looking at him now, with pure adoration in his voice, he knows he could never doubt it again.
Jackson's palm against his cheek feels warm and soft and for some reason Stiles realizes that he’s never paid much attention to the freckles across Jackson's nose and how cute they look.
And as confident as Jackson is trying to appear, Stiles can feel the nerves coming through. He can feel Jackson’s breathing changing, and something inside him wants to tell Jackson that it's okay. That he's ready now. But when Jackson slowly leans forward, capturing his lips, he forgets about it. He forgets everything around him except that connection.
Stiles can feel Jackson's left hand around his waist, anchoring him, and he mirrors the movement, embracing Jackson, feeling the heat of his body against his sweaty hands.
Maybe he doesn't remember his relationship, but it seems like his body has a memory of its own because it doesn't feel like a first kiss, it feels like he instantly knows what he's doing and Jackson seems to notice it too.
Although the kiss starts slowly, as soon as their lips make contact it's like they both want to make up for the time they've lost since the accident. Jackson's lips feel warm and amazing, and Stiles is surprised when Jackson bites his lower lip and makes him follow him as he leans against the pillows with Stiles on top of him. Stiles arranges his arms so that he's not resting his weight on Jackson. He rests his left elbow on the pillow with his left hand above Jackson's head as his right hand slowly caresses Jackson's belly.
Soft moans escape Jackson's mouth and Stiles can feel his own body responding automatically. His exhale is shaky and he imagines he must be moaning too, but as the kiss deepens he feels like all his senses are overloaded. He feels Jackson's tongue against his lips, tasting him, and Stiles finds that tongue with his own until they are feeling each other inside Stiles’s mouth. Stiles can taste the mint flavor of Jackson's toothpaste and it feels familiar and addictive.
Stiles can feel Jackson's right hand leaving his cheek to rest first against his waist and later sliding along his back repeatedly before moving lower, dipping his fingers past the waistband of his pajama bottoms, over his ass. Jackson's hand keeps moving all over and sometimes his fingers linger in the crack.
Obviously Jackson knows the effect it's having on Stiles, because the kiss is getting more and more demanding. Stiles holds Jackson's face with his left hand as he keeps running his right hand through his hair, and it's intoxicating. The way Jackson is holding him, running his hands along his body, it feels so right. It's obvious how well Jackson knows him by now.
They are still kissing when Stiles feels it for the first time. And it's so sudden that he's not sure at first. The nails resting on his back and his ass lengthen and they don't feel like human nails anymore. They feel rough and sharp, like they could cut his skin with just a little more pressure.
"I want you. I want you so much," Jackson says when their lips part to catch their breaths for a few seconds.
Suddenly, Jackson expertly shifts them to the right, rolling on top of him. Jackson grips Stiles’s hips, resting on his elbows with his legs between Stiles's.
It's only a second but just before their lips meet again, Stiles can see that Jackson's eyes are not his normal blue, they are his wolf's more electric blue. He has no time to react and he doesn't say anything. Once Jackson starts kissing him again, Stiles doesn't want to let go. He runs his hands down Jackson's sides before moving them to his hair and tilts his head to the side to give Jackson better access.
As the intensity keeps growing, Stiles hears a soft growl... and if it's not a growl, he can't think of any other way to describe it. Jackson nips at Stiles’s lower lip before deepening the kiss again, and Stiles feels like there's something different. Jackson's teeth definitely feel sharper. They don't feel human, and if Stiles wasn’t so turned on, he would’ve seen it sooner, but he actually needs a few seconds to realize that something’s going on. It's the weirdest feeling... Part of him is really turned on but the other part feels like something is not right.
Jackson doesn't seem to feel anything different in Stiles because he keeps kissing him as his left hand slides under his pants and wraps around Stiles’s length.
In a matter of seconds Stiles is a mess. He pulls back from the kiss as he gasps with his eyes closed, arching up against Jackson who unbuttons his pajama top and leaves a trail of kisses from his collarbone to his shoulder.
Jackson licks and sucks his neck. But suddenly, Stiles is taken out of his bliss by an excruciating pain where his shoulder meets his neck. It's so sharp and so unexpected that his whole body goes instantly on alert.
Stiles screams in pain. And there's no doubt at all, he's been bitten and they weren't human teeth.
"Shit," Stiles says as he brings his right hand to his neck.
Thank god, there's no broken skin but it still hurts like a bitch, and with the pain he had not realized that he doesn’t feel Jackson's weight on him anymore.
Jackson has moved towards his side of the bed and is looking at him in shock. He's breathing heavily and still partly wolfed out. Seconds later Stiles can see his nails coming back to normal and his teeth retracting but his eyes are still bright blue.
"Jackson?" Stiles says, hoping to make Jackson respond. "What just happened, Jackson?" Stiles sits up straight.
"Shit," Jackson says, running his hands through his hair. "Fucking shit," he repeats with an obvious look of disbelief. "Did I... Are you bleeding?" Jackson asks, keeping a distance.
"No, I'm not bleeding. I'm okay. It hurts, that's all." Stiles massages the area with his fingers.
"Fuck." Jackson closes his eyes and shakes his head repeatedly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Jackson says as he gets up.
"Where are you going? Jackson!" Stiles says, frowning.
"Downstairs. I need... I need some air," Jackson says, leaving the room.