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Jason was playing a little game called ‘see how many times he could break into Bullock’s apartment before he noticed.’ It was going extremely well.
Now, screwing with Bullock a little was all well and good, but there needed to be some rules to the game other wise Jason could cheat. Nothing would stop him from playing the hokey pokey through the window in the apartment and counting each time he reached a hand in as a win. No, no, no. There needed to be something he did in the apartment to make it a little more worth while. Not stealing anything because Jason wasn’t a thief. No, better to add something.
Jason debated different options. New movies for Bullock’s collection would be too nice. Random notes added to his kitchen appliances would be too creepy. He eventually settled on clothes. Harvey Bullock had some of the worst taste in fashion that Jason had e’er had the misfortune of witnessing with his own two eyes, and he tangoed with Gotham rogues nightly. Bullock had a real eye for clashing colors and textures. It was almost impressive.
Step 1: Find a thrift store and acquire the ugliest ties, vests, and jackets to conceivably exist.
Step 2: Add them slowly to Bullock’s wardrobe.
Step 3: See how long it takes him to notice if he does so at all.
A fine plan!
Armed with Wayne cash in various charity shops around the city, Jason discovered quickly that finding jackets in Bullock’s size was far harder than he’d hoped. He managed to find two, a velvet jacket in such a violent shade of green that he vaguely wondered if it had arsenic in it and a pink and mauve striped jacket. But within the realm of one-size-fits-all, he found the mines rich in ore. Ties. Ties of the most impressive, most ugly, most fascinating patterns ever created by man. It was a good thing Jason had got his hands on them before some wannabe rogue found them and got some idea to become Tie-Man, scourge of Gotham. Or would he only be creating such a monster in Bullock? Only time would tell!
There were two ties that Jason got a particular kick out of: one with little bats and one with little birds including Robins. That would be the finisher. The coup de grace.
…Maybe coup de grace was a little extreme. The ties might’ve been working their corrupting influence over Jason already.
Day 1: Bright orange and blue striped tie planted in the back of an already incredibly-messy drawer. No reactions.
Day 2: Daisy and sunflower patterned tie planted in same. No reactions.
Day 5: Neon yellow tie with actual reflector vest strips planted. No reactions.
Day 7: Bullock seen wearing paw print tie from Day 3! No comments made about it. Light green tie planted.
Day 10: Provincial flowers of Canada tie planted. No reactions.
Day 13: Bullock seen wearing pink polka dot tie from Day 6! Drawer slightly more organized. Possible he suspects, possible he finally did laundry. Red and gold striped tie planted.
Day 14: Scheele’s Green jacket planted in closet. That closet has never once been cleaned in that man’s life. Bullock seen wearing flower tie from Day 2.
Day 17: Drawer reorganized again. Gustav Klimt themed tie planted underneath others.
Day 19: Tie with little charms sewn all over it planted. No reactions.
Day 20: Bullock seen wearing green jacket with pink polka dot tie! New combinations being created, but has he discovered the plot? Pink and mauve jacket planted in back of closet.
Jason looked at his dwindling supply of ties and grinned. Two to go. He timed his entry for when he knew Bullock was at work and carefully undid the screws holding the back room’s window shut. He slid in silently and made his way to Bullock’s room. Seriously, how did he live like this? Had the man never heard of a broom? A vacuum, even? For Jason’s next trick, he should sneak in a Hoover and see if it did any good. He eased open the drawer. Reorganized again. Interesting.
He lifted up a shirt in the back of the drawer to sneak the bat tie in when a noise behind him made him jump. He spun around.
Bullock sat in a beach chair wedged awkwardly into the closet, leaving him partially covered by jackets. He gave a few slow claps. “Stealin’ a man’s ties? Now, that’s a new low for ya, Boy Wonder.”
“Skippin’ out on work to lurk in a closet? I’d say that’s a new low for you, Bullock, but we both know you’d go lower.”
“Lurkin’s the only way to catch a thief sometimes.”
“And who’d wanna steal these ugly things?” Jason waved the bat tie around in demonstration.
Bullock snorted. “That have bats on it?”
Jason grinned. “Yeah. If you’re gonna go for a theme, why not really go for it?”
“Geek.”
Jason stuck out his tongue at him.
“’Sides, wouldn’t birds be more your theme?”
“You want birds, Bullock? I’ve got birds.” Jason pulled the robin tie out of his utility belt and tossed it to Bullock. “A boy’s always gotta be prepared.”
Bullock laughed. “Ya know, ya coulda just waited for Christmas if you were that eager to give me somethin’.”
“It’s less about the gift and more about the—”
“Breakin’ an’ enterin’? Illegal trespass?”
“—Artistry.”
Bullock hauled himself out of his beach chair, lightly tangoing with the green jacket on his way out of the closet. “Whatever you say, kid.” He walked out of the room, and Jason walked with him.
“How long did it take you to figure it out? I am keeping score.”
“Depends on how long its been goin’ on.”
“Ah! Ah! That would be telling.”
“Fine, fine. I noticed something was off two weeks back? A week and a half? I did think some of these were mine already.”
Jason pumped a fist in the air, grinning at his success.
“Ahh, no!”
“Three weeks, Harv!”
“Three?!”
Jason laughed.
Bullock groaned.
The pair continued walking together out of the apartment – Jason would have to come back later to tighten those screw back up. It just wouldn’t do to have Bullock figuring out his means of entry and egress.
“I gotta get back to work, but if ya wanna loiter around the station, I don’t think anyone’s figured out how to stop ya. Yet.”
“And they never will! They’ll never take me alive, etcetera, etcetera.”
Bullock rolled his eyes, and relit a cigar he produced from his pocket. “Seriously though, did you spend actual money on this?”
“…I plead the fifth.”