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An unseasonably warm Saturday touched down in South Park, thawing the ground and drawing everyone outside to soak up the sun.
Butters crossed town, a spring in his step like everyone else. A breeze pushed his bangs awry and he smiled at the park as he passed, full of families and friends basking in the sunshine. As divided as the town could be, one thing they could all agree on was they loved a warm day. Too bad they had all chosen to live in Colorado.
He bypassed the park, however, in search of his own little pocket of sunshine as he crossed the train tracks. The houses lowered in saturation the further he went, but that fact only excited him. It meant he was getting close.
Butters practically skipped across the McCormicks’ lawn, hopping up the steps before knocking on the front door. Maybe he and Kenny could go for a walk or something. Or hang out by the lake. Maybe they could go to-
The lock turned and as Butters turned with bright eyes to greet his boyfriend, he halted abruptly when another figure appeared before him. Stan stood there instead, dark hair and dark flannel the antithesis to the blonde in orange that Butters expected. He blinked, his confusion replaced with a smile.
“Oh! Hiya Stan, how’s it goin’?” Butters piped cheerfully, ducking under his arm into the house. “Ken didn’t mention you were around today! You wanna come do somethin’ with us?” He dropped to sit on the couch, looking around the dark room. He picked up a spent cigarette butt from the floor and set it in the tray on the coffee table. “We don’t have much of a plan, but the whole of South Park is outside tryin’ to produce any kind of solar energy they can, so we figured we’d join them. He said Karen was out with her little girl friends so the world is our oyster if you’d like to tag along.” Butters turned back to Stan, who had closed the door and rested his shoulder against it, watching the blonde amusedly. Butters just smiled back. “How’re you doin’ today?”
Stan coughed out a laugh at the question, pushing himself off the door.
“Ah, Butters. I’m doing just fine, thank you for asking.” Butters tapped his hands against his knees, mouth opening to respond. “However, I can’t join you guys today. Kenny would light my ass on fire “ Butters screwed up his face, turning to look down the hallway.
“He wouldn’t have a problem with it, why would he?” He raised his voice, “Kenny, get out here and tell Stan-“ ”
“Kenny’s not here right now.” Butters’ whipped around to Stan again, his eyebrows to his hairline before furrowing confusedly. Stan smiled as he dug in his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. Butters turned to look down the hallway as if expecting to see the other blonde coming in.
“What? He told me to meet him-“
“My darling Buttercup,” Stan read from the paper, immediately emitting a fake gag at the term of endearment. Butters looked back at him, confusion finally rendering him silent. “There’s a place where time stands still, where the world fades and only we remain. I can’t tell you exactly where it is - not yet - but if you follow Stan, you’ll find it. Look for the sound of your name carried on the wind. I’ll be there, waiting, with a surprise just for you.”
Stan finished with what Butters assumed was supposed to be a mysterious wave of his arms, ending with a jazz hand towards the door. Butters’ mouth was wide open in an appalled grin, excited hands clenched into fists by his shoulders.
“No way! Are you for real?” Stan looked back at the paper in his non-jazzy hand.
“P.S. ChatGPT helped me write this note please don’t be disappointed I really tried my best but turns out idk how to write poetry it’s really hard.” Butters threw his head back on a laugh, the tag at the end confirming that this was, in fact, his Kenny’s doing. He jumped to his feet, arms out to his sides.
“Well, I’m ready if you are, Stan! Do I need anything?” Stan’s cheeks colored as he glanced away to avoid Butters’ gaze.
“Kenny told me - and I want to emphasize that this is Kenny talking - all you need to bring is your cute self.” Butters tittered as he followed Stan out the door, who grabbed Kenny’s house key from the ring.
“Oh shucks, that’s sweet of you, Stan.” Stan grumbled as they locked the house up behind them.
“Y’know the most humiliating part of all of this is that guy’s not paying me anything. I just like him enough to do this shit for free.” Butters cheeks hurt from smiling as he patted the ravenette on the shoulder.
“And what a good friend that makes you.”
“What a sucker that makes me.”
Butters followed Stan as they led them back towards town, mentally trying to guess where it was that Kenny could be taking him. But any guess he had was shot down as they passed most major spots, and started to tease the outskirts of town. Stan took them towards the woods, an odd back way that Butters hadn’t gone before, and further up the mountain South Park was nestled into. They didn’t go much further up, just enough to be looking down at the town before walking parallel for a stretch.
And just before Butters could ask any sort of orienteering questions, they rounded a curve that made him gasp and freeze where he stood.
A dark blue and green checkered blanket laid over where the terrain paused its slope to flatten out before dipping towards town below. Pillows sat in a semi-circle around Kenny and Kyle, who stood with their backs to the other two while fiddling with a speaker.
“Caw-caw, caw-caw!” Stan sounded, making the other two whip around. Kenny and Butters’ gazes met, the former’s face splitting to match the latter’s grin.
“That is not the signal and you know it,” Kyle fussed, but neither of the blondes paid him any mind as they closed the space between them.
“What is all this?” Butters gushed, gesticulating wildly as Kenny’s arms looped around his waist. He released a startled laugh as his feet left the ground, the other boy spinning them around once before setting him down. His smile was blinding up close, exactly where Butters liked him.
“Well, I figured it’d been a minute since we had a proper date, and the weather’s just too nice to not do something outside. Figured it was a win-win.” Butters settled his hands against his chest, atop that heart he loved so bad.
“Man, what do y’all count as dates, you see each other all the damn time.” Stan piped up, making Kenny shoot him a deadpan expression.
“Well unlike you, I don’t tend to count stopping at each other’s locker as a date.”
“Poor Wendy.” Kyle muttered, having the gall to look around for an unknown speaker when Stan turned on him. Butters laughed, winding an arm around Kenny’s neck and tugging him down to press his words into his cheek.
“Oh, you sweet thing - I love it!” He pulled back just enough to allow Kenny to turn his head. “And I love you. This is the coolest.” When their lips met, Butters couldn’t help but smile at the sound of the other two boys groaning in mock disgust. He shook with laughter at the increase in volume and intensity as Kenny bent him backwards into an even deeper kiss. In a relationship that had to be as secretive as theirs, the act of rubbing their PDA in their friends’ faces made Butters’ heart sing.
Kenny sat Butters upright with a proud gleam, turning to the other two boys.
“Yeah, I think you two are good to head out whenever you’re ready.” Stan made one last blegh sound, steering Kyle by the shoulder towards the direction they came.
“I think we’ve seen more than enough.” Butters grinned and waved, stepping to Kenny’s side.
“Bye, fellas, thanks for helping! C’mon Ken, mind your manners,” he squeezed his boyfriend’s arm, who rolled his eyes but smiled.
“Thank you Kyle, thank you Stan. I owe you guys.” He droned, though anyone that knew him could read his sincerity in the way his eyes shyly darted towards the ground. Kyle threw up deuces.
“We’ll be playing basketball if you need anything.”
“An extra blanket, a refill, a condom, you name it!” Stan called behind him, the breeze carrying away whatever jab he made about calling 1-800-SUCKERS. Butters smiled after them for a moment before turning his gaze to Kenny. The latter beamed after the two before tugging Butters toward the set up. Kenny flopped down on the blanket while Butters admired his work from where he stood.
“Gee, Ken, you really outdid yourself! Look at all this!” Various pillows and cushions sat in an arc around the centerpiece: a bouquet of tulips and a real traditional wicker picnic basket. Kenny’s playlist played from the little Bluetooth speaker tossed somewhere into the pillows. Kenny shined from where he sat, almost too bright to look at directly. He reached for Butters’ hand.
“Let me wine and dine you. I pulled out all the stops today.” Butters plopped down beside him, his cheeks aching from smiling so giddily. He leaned over to watch as Kenny began to unpack the basket. “I’ve got us sandwiches…and Doritos…and lemonade…even snagged a bag of Skittles.” Kenny reached for the bouquet. “This is also for you, though I do not recommend eating it.” Butters couldn’t help the way he flushed as he took them, pressing them to his chest as he drank in the array before him.
“Ken, this is so…” he gestured a vague hand around. “It’s not my birthday, or our anniversary, or…or nothin’! I don’t deserve all this just ‘cause!” Kenny smiled gently, leaning in close to Butters’ face.
“Of course you do. You deserve more than I can fit in this basket, every single day of the year.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of the other boy’s mouth. “And if it makes you more comfortable, think of it this way,” Kenny picked up the candy bag before pulling it open. He popped a red Skittle into his mouth with a cheeky wink at his boyfriend. “Maybe I just felt like treating myself to a nice lunch. You can have some if you’d like.” Butters barked out a laugh, setting the flowers aside before reaching for a sandwich.
“I can live with that.” He grabbed the can of lemonade waiting for him in the basket, cracking open the top. He took a sip, running a hand over the basket, and then the blanket. “Can’t believe you have a full picnic set and you’re only just now takin’ me out to a picnic.” Kenny smiled, grabbing himself a can of Dr. Pepper.
“The basket is Stan’s. So is the blanket…and pillows…the speaker is Kyle’s…” he pressed a hurried hand to his chest, almost defensive. “But I made the sandwiches. And got the food together. They just helped with some stuff.” Butters smiled, reaching a hand up to ruffle the boy’s waves.
“Nothin’ wrong with a little help here and there. In the end, I’m on a date with you, not them.” Kenny smiled, a blush teasing his ears as he tapped his can against Butters’.
“Lucky lucky me.”
They ate their sandwiches, steadily becoming more tangled together as they did. They were just a couple of weeds, growing themselves in knots around each other until you couldn’t tell where one started and the other stopped. At some point, Kenny’s head had made its way into Butters’ lap, content gaze flitting between his boyfriend and the clouds above.
“This is my favorite time of day, y’know.” Kenny commented. Butters glanced down at him, his blonde waves wound between his fingers as he braided them back. A small pile of unearthed clovers sat neatly beside them.
“What, noon?”
“Lunch.” Butters laughed at this, plucking up a Dorito and popping it into Kenny’s grinning mouth. He brushed his hand against his pants, returning his fingers to his hair. Twisting and weaving, he adhered the clovers into Kenny’s shaggy locks.
“I like the mornings. Specifically the time between leaving my house and homeroom.” He brushed his fingers across Kenny’s temple, collecting a section of hair to twist around a thick blade of greenery. “I get a nice little walk to the bus stop, then I get to see you, and we hang out a little bit, then you give me a big old kiss before I gotta go to homeroom…” Kenny smiled at this, gazing up at Butters fondly. He didn't ever try to twist to see what the other boy was doing to his head. His eyes stayed trained on Butters’ face, trust and hair in his hands.
“I think I’ll change my answer.” He reached his arms out over his head, stretching across Butters’ lap like a cat in the sun. “Lunch is either a relief or a disappointment. If I get there and somethin’s in front of me, it’s a good day. If not, it’s better just to try again the next.”
Kenny said it like it was a joke, but it made Butters frown. He rested a hand against his side, where he could always feel a slight jut of ribcage regardless of how he was sitting.
“Night time is alright. But only if my dad is out or I’m coming by to hang out with you.” Kenny continued, none the wiser. Butters tilted his head.
“These so-called “favorites” are so conditional.” Kenny shrugged, pursing his lips into an impish smile.
“Life sucks and, if you’re lucky, you die.” Butters rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s melodramatic nature, a smile he couldn’t help on his face.
“Okay, drama queen.” Kenny tittered in his lap, going quiet as Butters continued at his hair. He watched the sky for a bit, seemingly lulled by the rhythm of hands against his scalp.
“I think I’m braver at night.” Kenny conceded, the confession quieter than the rest. Butters smiled at this, nodding for him to continue. But he didn’t, and that was just part of his charm. Kenny’s admissions of vulnerability and insight could be like catching lightning in a bottle. Butters treasured his own personal little bottle, always pressed close to his chest where he kept it safe.
“I’m braver at night, too.” He hummed, bending down close to mess with a chunk of hair behind his ear. The two were only a breath away from one another. “Some Peter Pan figure shows up at my window every so often and coaxes me out to go fly with him. It’s easier to say yes when it’s dark outside.” Kenny hummed at this, smiling at the side of Butters’ face.
“Guy sounds like trouble. You need me to come take care of him for you?” Butters beamed at this, turning so their noses brushed.
“I can take him. Besides, he’s way cuter than you.”
Butters howled with laughter as Kenny maneuvered himself on top, that sleeper build strength pinning the other boy below him as he dug his hands into the soft spots of his torso. They wrestled for the upper hand, drinking in the other’s laughter as it morphed into their own. Eventually Kenny took pity on the other boy, lips replacing hands as they descended again, and again, and again. Hands moved across faces and through braided hair, and Butters thought they both looked pretty dang brave here underneath the afternoon sun.
…
Time passed above the two in the form of clouds racing slowly across the sky. Kenny and Butters, bellies full and laying shoulder to shoulder, watched lazily, drifting in and out of one another.
“There’s a sailboat.” Butters pointed, Kenny’s eyes to the fluffy clouds above. He hummed, reaching his own arm out to interlace their fingers. Together, their hands eclipsed the sun.
“I see…a banana…” their arms fell down between them, “with his dick out.” Butters scoffed, but took the time to squint at the shape.
“It's a sailboat. There’re the little people on it and everything.”
“That’s the banana’s arm. See look,” Kenny picked up Butters’ arm again, rolling over onto his side so their cheeks were practically pressed together. He extended the other boy’s finger to trace the figure as he narrated. “There’s the banana…and there’s the leg…another leg…an arm…and right there,” he drew an oval in the air above them. “That’s his dick.” Butters cocked his head until his eyebrows shot up.
“Ohhhhh,” Kenny dropped his hand back to his chest while Butters kept his up in the air, tracing the clouds’ fluffy edges. If he focused hard enough, maybe he could mold them into whatever shape he wanted. He tried it for a bit before his arm got tired, and he tucked it behind his head.
“When we were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?” Butters broke the peaceful quiet between the two of them, turning to look at Kenny. The other boy’s eyes opened languidly, though he could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. Kenny sat quietly for a moment.
“Taller.” He tittered at Butters’ hand pawing at his side. Butters was smiling regardless, heaving a heavy sigh.
“When we were little, everything felt…” Butters spread his arms out in front of him, as if presenting the vast openness of the sky. “Like anything was possible.” He let his hands fall back down to lay on his chest. “I wanted to be a tapdancin’ glass blower.”
“I remember that.” Kenny hummed, shifting to reposition his arms behind his head. He turned to rest his cheek against his bicep. He smiled fondly, eyes roving over the other’s profile. “You were so cute. Always confidently you.”
Butters’ initial reaction was to negate the comment, to argue that he was more susceptible to peer pressure than most other kids their age. If he was always doing what others told him to do, that didn’t really count as being himself. But Kenny saw the defense coming from a mile away, turning back to look at the clouds.
“You were curious about everything, so you gave everything the time of day. To you, it all had a silver lining.” He shook his head. “You were the light in every room you went into, and friendly with everyone you met. Everything felt possible because that’s just how you approached life.” Kenny smiled ruefully, glancing over at the other boy with soft eyes. “Like it always had the potential to turn out alright. I admired the hell out of you for that.”
Butters felt very small at the boy’s words, a lump in his throat. He never would describe anything he had done as admirable. It was always so easy for him to be critical of his younger self, yet Kenny was always here, ready to stand up for him. Butters wondered how different he would be if he saw himself through Kenny’s gaze.
Butters scooted closer to his boyfriend, their shoulders pressed together. He repeated his question, quieter this time.
“What did you want to be when you grew up?” Kenny turned his face back up to the sky. After a moment, he smiled softly.
“A superhero.” A gentle breeze passed over them, fanning through Kenny’s bangs as if he were already flying through the sky. Butters watched his profile, his heart so full he feared it might burst.
“You always did like playin’ heroes.” Kenny shrugged, eyes still to the sky.
“I wanted to do something good with…” he gestured vaguely to the space in front of him. “What I had.” He glanced at Butters, only to look away, as if bashful about the admission. “Which obviously wasn’t much, but…you know.” He shrugged against the blanket. “Was more than nothing.”
Kenny was a natural-born giver, Butters knew this despite the other’s guarded answer. He would always give, even when he didn’t come from much. Kenny knew the hunger of being without. He wiggled his arm under Kenny’s to interlock the two.
“Between you and me, I always thought you were the best superhero out of all of us.” Kenny’s defenses fell as his face split into a grin, lolling his head to the side to look at Butters. He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Is that why you always chose to wrestle with me?” Butters grinned, waving him off flippantly and turning back to the clouds.
“You were a good sparrin’ partner. Professor Chaos doesn’t waste his time with amateurs.” The two laid there for a spell, the comfortable silence only broken by Kenny’s quiet question.
“Do you think your younger self would be proud of you now?” The question made Butters freeze as if caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. As if his younger self had just entered the scene and caught him red-handed, curled up with a boy and disobeying his parents’ commands. The clouds above him rolled on, morphing and merging as they went. He forced out a laugh.
“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been but I keep it a secret from almost everyone in town.” He turned to look at Kenny, who was already watching him. Butters’ smile hurt. “I fight with my parents now more than ever and I don’t even care. If you told teeny-bopper Butters that, he’d be wrecked. I can’t imagine him bein’ proud.”
As he spoke, Butters felt his fists find one another, but he didn’t bother to pull them apart. He craved their pacifying friction as they started to rub against one another. Kenny listened intently, letting the other boy have just a moment before sliding his hand down to intertwine with Butters’ fingers. He moved their linked hands to sit atop his stomach.
“Well…just because it’s not what he’s expecting doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be happy.” Kenny reached his free hand out, pushing away a curl that flopped into Butters’ face. “You’re happy and you’re discovering yourself. What’s not to be proud of?” Butters’ eyes followed his hand as it pulled back to settle on those on his stomach. His lips twitched.
“What about you?” He asked quietly. “Would little Kenny be proud of you?” The boy turned and smiled, looking up at the sky.
“Proud enough. He’d probably be surprised I made it this far without a bus finishing me off or something.” His smile fell just a hair. “He’d probably be disappointed that everything at home looks just about the same as it did then.” Butters screwed up his lips.
“Kenny’s not a materialistic guy. Give him some credit.” Kenny grunted.
“Maybe. But he is a kid who has never not had to cut his shampoo with water so it would last longer. It’s only fair for him to hope things got better.” Kenny inhaled deeply, blowing a raspberry on his exhale. “I’d reassure him there’s still time to turn things around. Plus I’d tell him I’ve got a hot blonde on my arm nowadays, so how hard can life really be?” Butters rolled his eyes fondly, pulling their hands to sit atop his own stomach now. Kenny shook his head, his smile bittersweet. “He doesn’t have to understand. He hasn’t been through everything yet.”
As Butters turned back to the clouds, he ached to protect both of their younger selves from all that was to come. But that wasn’t how their story was allowed to go. In order to get here, sprawled out beside one another, they had to undergo a bit of hurt. And maybe, years in the future, an even older Kenny and Butters laid shoulder to shoulder, hoping to shelter the two teenagers from things that still had yet to come.
Butters wondered if he would be proud of his older self. He supposed that was up to him to decide.
“I’m goin’ to build a life that I’m proud of.” Kenny turned to look at him. His eyes flitted over the other boy’s profile before Butters turned to meet his gaze. Kenny’s mouth stretched into a smile, a strange mix of pride, wonder, and just plain joy.
“Mister Brightside…always thinking things have the potential to turn out right.” Butters’ cheeks flushed, and he turned back towards the sky with a bashful smile. He brought Kenny’s hand up to his lips.
“Well…maybe they do.”
…
The afternoon rolled over the two like a warm haze, quiet and comfortable. The sun sat at the tipping point just before golden hour, a spotlight that one could not hide from if they tried. Something hazy and rhythmic played out of the speaker, tossed into the pillows.
Below that spotlight the two boys tangled themselves up in one another, lips chasing lips. Kenny’s body caged Butters’ own against the blanket. One hand pressed to the ground beside Butters’ head, the other gripped the thigh of one of the legs wrapped around his waist. Butters’ own hands pushed through golden locks that challenged the sun, roved down to the collar of his parka to tug the boy ever closer.
Closed in from all sides, Kenny took up every corner of Butters’ mind. He decided he would be content to stay here forever. Here, on the receiving end of this adoration. Here, where he felt like he could not be gotten enough of.
A buzz disrupted Butters from his back pocket, and like a reflex, he pulled out his phone to take a peek. Turning his face away from Kenny’s proved to be a chore, but he redirected the boy’s attention along his cheek and down his neck as he gave a cursory glance to the device.
Dad: Still out with Tweek?
The haze lifted ever so slightly, pulling Butters back to reality just enough to huff at the contact name alone. Kenny took this as an invitation to nibble harder at his earlobe. Butters closed his eyes just a moment to gather his bearings against the onslaught on his sensitive neck before shakily typing out a response.
Butters: Yup thinking about getting ice cream in a bit
He hastily stuffed his phone away again before diving back into his boyfriend, his desperation only salved by his mouth on his. It felt like all too soon, however, that the device buzzed again, making Butters release an aggravated sound as he pulled it out to look at.
Dad: Of course you are.
Butters blinked, fully pulled up onto land from where he had been pleasantly drowning. Before he could even consider a response, his phone buzzed again.
Dad: Go off and waste your money. Leave us here to manage things at home.
His stomach turned. He pressed a hand to Kenny’s chest, easing him off of him.
“Gimme a sec, Ken,” he murmured, the attention he wanted to give the boy in front of him stolen by his dad. Kenny made a pitiful little noise, leaving one last nibble to the underside of Butters’ jaw before rolling over beside him. A new message awaited him.
Dad: Punctuate your messages. Not doing so makes you look sloppy and stupid.
Butters’ chest tightened. He tapped out a response.
Butters: Yes sir, I’m sorry.
Butters: Is everything alright at home?
Dad: Oh, so now you care? Funny how you only check in when it suits you.
Another message dinged right behind it.
Dad: Things here are as fine as they usually are. Probably because you’re not here to complicate them.
The jarring dichotomy of Kenny’s residual warmth and his father’s icy words felt like Butters had dropped a knife and caught it with his hand around the blade. The familiar static of self consciousness pushed at his peripherals, despite his efforts to distance himself from the hurtful words of the text. He’s just in a mood. Let it roll off your back.
His phone dinged again.
Dad: Are you getting into trouble?
He shot a glance over at Kenny, mussed hair and wet lips, scrolling while Butters handled whatever was on his own screen. A hickey sat under his right ear. He looked like the definition of trouble.
Butters: No sir.
A minute passed before the next ping.
Dad: You better mean it. The last thing you want is for me to show up and clean up some mess of yours.
That static thickened, and Butters brought his knuckles to his mouth at the itch of paranoia creeping up the back of his neck. No one would know they were up here - right? He hadn’t set off any alarms by walking here with Stan, albeit hours ago, into the woods, had he? No one would tell his dad that he wasn’t getting ice cream, would they?
Dad: Remember you can’t stay the night tonight. Church in the morning.
He pushed a firm fist into his eye, the painful pressure grounding him. He knew. He knew that regardless of how wonderful today had been, it would have to end at his house, behind that one way lock. This warmth was temporary, and would always be broken up by stints of sharp cold. He remembered, and he couldn’t forget.
Butters: Yes sir, I remember.
He waited for a minute, then two, with baited breath for his dad to find another angle to try to hurt him from. But nothing came back, not even those three little dots contemplating an insult.
Butters stared at his phone for a good moment, brain a million miles away. The electronic silence made him woozy, and he started to type back. He paused. He backspaced. He paused. He typed. He backspaced. He typed. He felt, and tried to ignore, Kenny’s curious eyes peeking over at his screen, wondering what had taken his boyfriend’s attention off of him for so long. He could tell the moment Kenny read the contact name, however, as Kenny made a noise in the back of his throat, reaching over. Butters’ knee jerk reaction was to pull away, arms tense to his front.
“It’s nothin’,” he defended, his own voice sounding weird to his own ears. Kenny sidled up next to him, a calm hand resting along the back of his own.
“I won’t say anything. Can I read?” After a moment Butters relinquished his hold, and Kenny brought the phone to his own nose to read. With nothing to distract his hands, Butters’ fingers picked at his knuckles. Defensiveness was at the tip of his tongue.
“I just…I wanna apologize or…tell him I’m just...” it was silly, and he knew it. He knew he had nothing to apologize for. He knew his dad was just in a mood and the only thing that would truly placate him was to let him tire himself out. Regardless, he felt responsible for fixing it, as he was seemingly the one to set him off.
No one was going to find them up there. No one was going to care he hadn’t gotten ice cream. No one paid the youth of this town any mind unless it benefited them directly. He knew all of this, and yet that annoying static made it hard to believe.
Kenny made an almost growling sound before turning off the phone and passing it back to Butters.
“Don’t text him back. Seems as if he has a branch up his butt and went on the hunt for someone to be a prick to.” Butters fiddled with his phone.
“He’s…just in a mood, is all.” Kenny grunted at this, an unamused expression pointed toward the sky.
“Mood to be an asshole.”
Something about Kenny badmouthing his dad always gave Butters some form of release, despite the fact he sometimes had a hard time doing it himself. Hearing the truth hit the air between them always felt like some degree of justice. A reassurance that he wasn’t crazy for feeling the way that he did.
A breeze rushed over the two, moving through the grass and their hair from where they laid shoulder to shoulder. Butters stretched his fingers upward, feeling the wind between his digits. His fingers closed, as if trying to catch a handful of wind, only to come up empty.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m not being the best that I can be.” He half hoped his quiet declaration was swept up by the wind, unheard. But Kenny was a listener. Nothing got around him. His head turned to Butters, caressing his profile with his gaze. He didn’t say anything for a long moment.
“Why?” He asked, tone patiently curious. Butters wet his lips.
“I’m not out with Tweek right now.”
“No offense taken.”
“No, that’s not,” Butters ripped his gaze from the sky as he sat up, drawing his legs to him. He wrapped his arms around his calves and tucked his nose into his knees, suddenly feeling incredibly visible. “It’s the fact that I’m lying about where I am. I’m lyin’ to my parents because I’m somewhere they would whoop my tail for bein’.” He swallowed heavily, the sensation mildly painful. “And I like it. I don’t like that I’m lying but I like what I’m doin’ behind their backs.” Kenny pushed himself up with his hands behind him and legs stretched out in front. The antithesis of Butters’ reserved stance.
“Do you think what you’re doing is right?” Butters turned his gaze to the other blonde. Wind swept hair, freckled nose, prominent bone structure, and those gosh darn kissable lips. Those kind eyes. That beautiful heart. Butters sighed, a puff of air across his knees.
“I do.” Butters muttered against his arm, defeated. “I just wish he did, too.” Kenny pursed his lips, bringing a hand to Butters’ shoulder and pulling him into a side hug. He pressed a kiss to his light blonde curls.
“I wish it was as easy as wrong and right, Buttercup. I’m sorry it’s not.” He settled his temple against the spot he kissed, looking out toward town. They were up high enough to spot only vague movement along the streets, a whole population that didn’t know they watched. Hiding in plain sight, part of Butters wished they would see them. Everything would come crashing down, but at least he wouldn’t be lying.
“Does String Theory make you feel better or worse?” The question was so out of left field it made Butters blink, then squeeze his eyes shut. He sat up to give Kenny an incredulous look.
“What?”
“I mean like,” Kenny grinned despite himself, splaying his hands in front of him. “Does the idea of there being another Butters out there living a life where we didn’t have to hide from your dad make you happy or, like, vengeful?” Butters stared at Kenny for a moment, mouth slightly agape. The question had knocked him off whatever train of thought he had been on, and it took him a moment to find his footing.
“Um…happy…I think? I’m not jealous of him if that’s the alternative...” Kenny nodded in understanding.
“Okay, so, at least some part of you gets to have that reality, right?” Butters blinked, considering the question.
“I mean…it depends I guess. Is it…it’s still you I’m datin’ in this other universe?” Kenny shrugged, leaning back on his hands.
“In some of them, sure. But it's a million different people in others. You’re dating girls in a few of them, too.” Butters squinted at him, trying to keep up.
“No,” he brushed off, incredulous. Kenny nodded.
“Well, that’s how multiverses work, so yeah.” Butters huffed, letting his knees drop into a crisscross position.
“I can’t make it so it’s only you?” Kenny looked him up and down for a moment before giving a shit-eating grin.
“I mean…not without the right equipment.” Butters felt a tiny smile pull at his lips, his shoulders easing away from his ears.
“I want it to be only you.” Kenny turned, tongue between teeth as he settled a hand on Butters’ opposite hip.
“You’re cute. Let’s say I cut you a deal for one quantum leap device in exchange for another make out session.” Butters brought his hands up to either side of Kenny’s neck, his grin only growing as their foreheads pressed together. He huffed a laugh against him. With a head free of static or any thoughts of his dad in general, he could clearly see where Kenny had successfully derailed the conversation and gotten Butters out of his own head. He now let his thoughts be consumed by the boy here with him, a task as easy as breathing.
“All of my favorite versions of myself end up right next to you.” Butters whispered. Kenny’s eyes shined, and he pressed his nose into his.
“Well if you’ll have me, I’ll stay right by your side.”
By way of confirmation, Butters leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kenny’s. If this certainty, warmth, and joy were so wrong, Butters didn’t want to be right.
…
As it always did, the sun set over the two boys.
From where he had curled up atop Kenny like a cat, Butters stirred from his off and on doze. Familiar voices accompanied by flashlights approached, making him tuck his face against Kenny’s snoring front. He tugged the parka closer, settled over the two like a blanket and trapping in their cozy heat.
“Kennyy, Buutters, clean up time,” the voices gradually grew closer, and Butters released a heavy sigh.
“Kenny,” he murmured, making no attempt to move himself. “The guys are here.” All Kenny did was grunt back, making Butters smile. Using Kenny’s chest to push up, he squinted towards the approaching light. With his face part-squint, part-smile, he waved as Stan and Kyle’s forms came into view. “Hey fellas. How’d-hey!” He was cut off as Kenny tugged him back down to his chest, haphazardly pulling the parka over the blonde’s head.
“We’ve got you surrounded, McCormick. Let the hostage go and we’ll be on our way, too.” Stan’s voice was closer than before.
“How many of you are there.” Kenny called out lazily.
“Twenty-seven.” Came Kyle’s voice. Kenny let out an unimpressed laugh.
“Light work.” Butters pushed his head out from under the coat, hair stuck up with static and fighting to scowl through a smile. Kenny grinned sleepily at the sight, a hand pushing the other’s curls back.
“R’you sure you have to go?” Butters’ smile faded at the question, and he averted his eyes down to Kenny’s t-shirt. He traced at the faded lettering with a finger.
“Yeah…you saw what he said.” He felt the other boy nod.
“I know. Just double checkin’.” Kenny tapped his finger against Butters’ chin, making him look up. The former settled him with a warm smile. “Thanks for comin’ up here with me.” A smile stretched across Butters’ face, and he leaned in so close they were practically nose to nose.
“Didn’t have much choice, did I?” Kenny smiled, surprisingly tender.
“You’ve always got a choice.” And with that he tugged Butters forward, their lips reuniting. The latter sighed softly, pressing another kiss to that soft mouth. A nearby groan sounded.
“They’re not done Stan, we’ll come back later.”
“Dude we are not coming back, when I get home I’m staying home.” Butters pulled away from Kenny, grinning ear to ear as he held him by the cheeks.
“We’re done, we’re done,” he let out a laugh as Kenny dove forward, lips landing on either blushing cheek. Finally Stan and Kyle came into clear view, no longer obstructed by the wall of light produced by the flashlight. Stan picked up a pillow and knocked Kenny over the side of the head with it, getting part of Butters’ face as he did.
“Need a spray bottle for you, swear to God,” he chastised, allowing Butters to roll off of his boyfriend.
“You’re gonna need something stronger than that, bucko.”
The four packed up the setup, and Butters felt a pang of sadness at the sight of it disappearing, like watching an oasis dry up. Eventually it was as if they had never been there, just a patch of grass overlooking the town below. Butters startled at the hand settling between his shoulder blades.
“Got everything?” He looked up at Kenny, pillows and bouquet pressed to his front. His handsome face was illuminated by the moon and any last inky tendrils of sunset. Butters smiled, bumping his shoulder into his chest just to reciprocate the touch.
“Everything.”