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Buck stared at his phone like it was the physical manifestation of doom.
In it sat fortyseven unread text messages to his best friend. His person. The most amazing man on this planet. The love of his miserable life.
From it, he made twenty calls that went to voicemail. Buck sat through Eddie’s pre-recorded message every single time.
For all he knew, those could be the last times he would actually hear his voice.
For all he knew, that would be his deserved punishment for his fuck up.
It was a moment of weakness, okay? Eddie looked so soft in the golden setting sun, as they watched Chris take his first surfing lesson since coming back from El Paso. Those indescribably warm brown eyes had dropped to his lips, and he smiled that half crooked smile that exposed his sharp canines, and his mouth opened like he wanted to say something, and…
…and Buck felt his entire existence hang from that one small moment when he thought Eddie was about to finally say something, so he did the only thing Evan Buckley knows how to do.
He ruined it.
He ruined it by saying it first, the words tumbling out of his mouth, falling to the sand between them.
I love you, he whispered.
And Eddie didn’t reply.
He just stared at Buck, frozen, and before Buck could apologize or say it was a joke, Chris came out of the water and, without saying another word, Eddie was gone.
Four days, one awkward shift, twenty unanswered calls and fortyseven unread text messages later, Eddie still hadn’t said a word.
Buck felt sick.
He felt like he was missing a limb. Like he had finally gone and destroyed the one thing he had vowed never to lose.
He fucked up, and he hurt himself, and Eddie, and even Christopher in the process.
His feelings were meant to stay inside. Contained. Hidden. Forgotten. But he was stupid. Too eager, too desperate for scraps.
One warm look, one smile and he ruined it forever.
Buck paced the living room, hoping Eddie responded, if only to let him down easy. Eddie would never be hurtful or cruel about it. He would kindly remind him he was straight, and patiently explain that he didn't feel the same.
Eddie would lovingly break his heart, and Buck would gladly take the pain. He would remain his friend, because that was better than nothing.
Buck was already resigned to his fate when the phone rang. A photo of Eddie smiling at the camera flashed on his screen.
It was him.
Buck hurriedly picked up the call. His heart beating in his throat stopped any words from coming out of his mouth.
All he could do was put the phone to his ear and get ready for the inevitable.
Eddie sniffled.
Buck frowned.
And he waited.
And waited.
Until Eddie finally spoke, suddenly putting the pieces of Buck's heart back together again with just four words.
“I love you too…”
