Work Text:
Dick walked into the living room with a giant box in his arms.
“ALRIGHT, TEAM TREE! LET’S GO!” He shouted, voice bouncing off the walls. Jason stuck his head in from the hallway.
“Why are you yelling? This isn’t a time-sensitive mission.”
“It is a mission.” Dick said, setting the box down with a thud. “A Christmas mission.” Tim followed Jason in through the door, one hand typing on a computer being held in his arm.
“Is there at least a plan?” He asked, without looking up.
“Yes!” Dick said proudly, pulling out a very complicated diagram. “This is our tree strategy.” Jason squinted at the paper.
“Did you… did you colour-code the fucking ornaments?”
“Of course.” Dick scoffed like it was a ridiculous question. “I’ve optimized the decorating process.” Damian was scowling when he finally appeared, Titus at his side.
“This is pointless. Trees belong outside. Why bring one inside and then bury it in tinsel?”
“Because it’s fun!” Dick said, leaning down to pet the dog. “Titus agrees, don’t you buddy.”
Titus wagged his tail happily. Jason leaned against the wall, arms crossed.
“So what exactly is in the box, Fearless Leader? Because if it’s another one of your weird themed tree ideas, I’m walking.”
“It’s not weird,” Dick cut in, “It’s festive.” Tim finally looked up from his computer.
“You said that last year, and then the theme was “acrobats” and you made us hang upside down to decorate the tree.”
“And it worked.” Dick said. “Efficient and stylish. Incredible photo for the holiday cards.”
“It was a concussion waiting to happen.” Jason muttered.
Dick ignored him and flung open the box with dramatic flair. Inside were neatly sorted containers, all labeled, colour-coded, and alphabetized.
Tim blinked.
“I think he’s finally lost it.” Dick just continued like Tim hadn’t said anything.
“Everyone has assignments. Jason, you’re on garland duty.”
“Pass.”
“Not optional.” Dick shoved a shiny mess of gold into Jason’s hands. Jason held it up like it was radioactive. Damian stepped closer, frowning at the box.
“Explain the purpose of the quote “sparkly snow fluff”. It looks like insulation material.” Tim shrugged.
“I think it’s supposed to go on the branches? Like fake snow.”
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Wait until you see the glitter pinecones.” Jason said. Damian’s face pinched with disgust, as Dick clapped his hands loudly.
“Okay! Formation! Jason on garland. Tim on lights. Damian on ornaments. I’ll handle the star and moral support.”
“You always give yourself the easy job.” Jason said.
“It’s called leadership!” Dick replied. Tim set his computer down on the couch reluctantly.
“If the lights are tangled, I’m quitting.”
“They’re not tangled.” Dick said confidently. Tim pulled them from the box.
They were, in fact, aggressively tangled. Jason whistled.
“That thing has seen war.” Tim stared at Dick with dead eyes.
“You lied.”
“Damian! Ornaments!” Dick pivoted, sliding over a box with ornaments covered in so much blue glitter that one touch would have it going everywhere. “Start hanging them on the tree!” Damian eyed the ornaments like they were a biological hazard.
“I refuse to touch those.”
“You will touch those,” Dick said, hands on his hips, “With joy in your heart.” While that was happening, Jason had already started untangling the garland while muttering curses under his breath.
“I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.” He froze as a strand smacked him across his face. “Fuck my life.” Tim carefully started untangling the lights.
“This is a nightmare. I’d rather be anywhere else.” Jason shot him a look.
“Welcome to my world. At least yours isn’t so delicate you’ll pull it apart if you touch it the wrong way.” He waved the garland in Tim’s face.
“Stop waving it around or the dog’s going to eat it.” Dick scolded, pointing to where Titus was following the garland with his head. Jason rolled his eyes and threw himself back onto the couch to continue fighting with the decor. Tim was still struggling with the lights, tugging at a particularly vicious knot.
“I think these lights are alive. They’re plotting against me.”
It took them a while to decorate the tree, with Damian refusing to fully touch each ornament and Jason snapping garland every time he pulled too hard. After Jason had finally pulled apart enough to put on the tree, he snatched the lights away from a still struggling Tim to finish getting the knots out.
“Okay, Dickface, time for the star.” They watched as Dick dramatically scrambled up the railing of the staircase, and finally placed the star on top.
“Ta-da!” They all took a step back to look at the decorations.
The tree was… messy. Short pieces of garland were placed to try and make them look like one complete piece. Ornaments were few and far between, Damian having finally refused to touch anymore. The lights were still tangled in some spots. The star was crooked.
Dick beamed.
“It’s perfect!”
“What?” Dick pulled his brothers into a hug.
“Great job guys. I’m glad we did this together.” Damian wiggled in the hug.
“What are you talking about? The tree is an absolute-”
“Shh.” Jason quietly cut him off. “Let him have this.” Damian scoffed, but didn’t say anything else. Dick smiled again.
It might have been a mess, but it was their mess.