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Owen awakens with a gasp, his throat still burning. feeling the Phantom urges for blood even when logically knowing now it will not help anything. He stays in the woods longer than any other loop, taking his time to gather himself knowing there is no way for him to do anything. his cursed powerlessness being brought back to the forefront. knowing that these people have no memory, but the urge for vengeance has never left Owen even as he turns from human to vampire to human.
It takes hours for him to finally feel stable enough to go back into the village. doing introductions again as he tries not to flinch memories of all the pain that they have caused him. He has caused massacres and hurt but last time he saw them was not for retribution of a friend killed, it was a crusade. A need for evil things to be purified even if what they thought of as a cure was only poison.
Seeing the pairs form that do every loop Shelby and Scott, Pearl and Cleo, Avid and drift. Sometimes he doesn't even flinch upon seeing them again. holding back laughter as I say something that will contradict themselves in the future. Martin spinning his tales that he never quite sticks to. Abolish mentioning that he's a butler but never bringing it up again. So many times these people have been friends but in this loop he cannot even look at them as anything other than persecutors and victims. Remembering Shelby's cries as The Silver burned her and Scott raising his voice for the first time as he asked why they were doing any of this.
It's not until the doctor comes into view that he realizes that staying in the villages is not an option this time. In his dissociation trying to hold back the screaming stuck in his throat, both the anger and the horrendous guilt he doesn't even notice the doctor coming up behind him. Legundo placed his hand on his shoulder getting his attention, wanting to make a small introduction and make sure everyone is all right.
In this loop, the doctor's touch makes him want to scream. Any comfort being pushed out of his mind as he remembers the violence. He can't say it wasn't always justified, but that doesn't stop the nightmares. The memories of cold nights cuddled together, soft kisses and whispered conversation meaning less than the ones where he is able to put the doctor down for good.
This time he makes sure to be alone in the woods with Scott, needing to be turned to get the hell out of this human infested place. The Owen of the beginning, The one that was consumed by rage, being so close to the surface more than ever before.
As time went on, the loops made him feel more detached from his feelings. Finally, understanding why Scott said it was so hard to identify Emotions. If he wanted to stay disconnected, he probably should have stayed human but turning into a vampire, the heightened emotions has been something he has experienced time and time again. This time he wanted to be comforted by his grave.
Going up to the cliff where he got to be put to rest for the first time. He wants that comfort of only the dirt, keeping his body warm with no need of eyes or breathing, just rest and dreamlessness. That makes you lose sense of everything. He wanted it to be comforting again. He does not like the cure's idea of comfort. It's only when he's settled into his grave, blood bottles in his pockets for when he awakens. He finally puts the dirt back over himself in the grave that he lets himself cry.
The sun had gone down a long time ago and with no one within the forest. He lets himself cry out a name that he hasn't allowed himself to speak since he saw him turn away. He calls out for his original sire. Asking for his first love back, even though he knows he thinks him a monster. He wants his gentle clawed hands and his eyes that sparkled with kindness. Owen misses the smooth touches on what felt like unworthy skin. The soft words that were spoken into a room that got as dark as it could be in the daylight. He wants Lewis back, but he knows he'll never get him. Even when all of him knows, it doesn't help the want that is etched into his very soul
He stays there for hours, maybe days only gaining consciousness when the hunger gets too much, taking a few bottles of blood and drifting right back. Scott comes to find him eventually wondering where he is gone expecting him to have gone back to the village trying to get back his normal life or maybe into the forest and only hearing of things attacking animals. He's surprised to hear that there's nothing.
He eventually finds him on the cliff . With no headstone only a large rock and obviously dug dirt on top, able to be seen with no grass growing over top of it. He almost doesn't think anything of it being a grave until he hears movement. Taking a moment to try and hear breathing only to hear nothing but the occasional toss and turn. Realizing it's his newest fledgling, he unburies him as the sun is starting to set.
The elder vampire and getting his nails dirty as the dirt digs under his claws as he pulls away the dirt. taking a while before he is able to see his fledgling. Looking down at the sleeping man wondering what exactly he was doing. A vampire having a grave isn't a new thing but it's not quite an instinct. It's a comfort you learn later. Seeing the empty blood bottles beside him realizing this was not a spur of the moment thing, it was at least somewhat calculated. He moved to wake him, barely touching his shoulder before he awoke. Only very old instincts and fights with his old coven mates stopped him from getting scratched across the face. That could have ended very badly.
It seems to take Owen a few moments to realize who's in front of him tugging his hand away from the elder vampire's grip turning away without saying a word. “What are you doing?” Scott questions not understanding a single thing in front of him.
“I'm tired,” Owen replies. Scott can hear the dryness of his throat. he grabs Owen's face pulling it to look at him sharply. Owen pulls an annoyed face but Scott's more focused on the very obvious bloody tears that have dried on his fledgling face. The elder wants to think it's from being turned. it wouldn't be the first unwilling turning to have tears but it's been days and the answer doesn't quite sit right with him.
“ Come to the castle,” Scott says, letting go of his face. not quite remembering how to comfort a newly turned. It's been over 600 years sue him for being Rusty. “I can get you a much better grave than this, a coffin at least.” If his instincts decide to skip straight to the death comforts, then Scott Goldsmith's first fledgling of 600 years is going to get the best that Oakhurst can get, which isn't the best in the world but it's what they have to make do with.
“What makes you think I want a coffin?” Owen coughs out the words. Scott hands him a blood bottle he takes it with no hesitation unscrewing the top and chugging it.
“The grave you are currently sitting in.” The elder raised an eyebrow as he said it, thinking it obvious. Owen looks at him in the eyes, obviously thinking and then nodding as if to say that fair. “Why are you getting me a coffin?”
“ I turned you so you're my responsibility, no fleshling of mine is going to be sat in the dirt” Owen stares at him a bit longer before pushing the empty blood bottle into Scott's hands letting out an exaggerated ground saying “Fine I'll sleep in your stupid coffin.”
Scott gets up wiping the dirt off of himself. Letting Owen get out of his grave before leading the way back to his castle. it will be nice to not be the only person there. His new fledgling seems to enjoy death comforts, maybe he'll make him a headstone.