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"You're a goddamn idiot, Spencer!"
"You have a weird way of saying "Thank you so much, Spencer, for saving my life!", but I accept your gratitude regardless." Shawn uttered, propping himself up in a hospital bed.
"That bullet was meant for me, you moron!"
Lassiter continued to pace around the room, just as he was doing for the past ten minutes, ever since the nurse told him he was clear to go in. Shawn's gaze followed Lassiter's every move. There was a usual mischievous glint in Shawn`s eyes, for he, no doubt, found the detective`s fury rather amusing. Carlton was torn between the immense relief of Shawn being okay and the intense anger over the fact that even almost dying couldn't knock some sense into the man. Carlton, of course, could blame Shawn's liveliness on drugs he was being pumped full of, but he knew better than that. The man just didn't take anything seriously, not even his own life.
"I can't believe you did this. Spencer, you could have died!"
"I can`t believe you can`t believe I did this, and frankly, I can`t believe you believe I wouldn`t do this."
Carlton fixed him with an unimpressed glare.
"Of course I did it, and you, my friend-you're missing the key points: first, I'm alive, thank you very much, second, also pretty important - you could have died, too!"
Carlton threw up his hands in rage and frustration. "That's my job! I signed up for this!"
"Again, the alternative was to just stand there and let you get shot. Not a fan of that!"
Lassiter stopped, looking so, so tired. "So I would have been shot. So what?"
Shawn stirred. "What do you mean, so what? You would have been lying here like a sack of pineapples instead of me, or, y'know. Worse."
Carlton slouched, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Spencer, you can't take those risks. Did you think about Guster? Or O'Hara? Or your father? Hell, chief Vick would have my head If I`d let you die, who else would solve all the crimes?" Laasiter almost spat the last part, looking bitter and dejected.
"Exactly my point! I couldn't let our fine Santa Barbara town lose one of its finest, could I?" Shawn easily rebutted.
Carlton sighed. "You don't get it, Spencer, you can't- you can't die. They need you. I- They can't lose you. As much as it pains me to admit, you're doing something good here, no matter your… means. You can't ruin it just because you want to play hero and jump in front of the bullets, you got that?" He said, looking at Shawn intensely with those piercing blue eyes.
"Wow, if I knew I could make you compliment me just by getting shot, I wou- wait, Lassie, don't go, I can be serious, I promise, wait!"
Lassiter huffed but turned around, crossing his arms, looking at Shawn with raised eyebrows.
Shawn cleared his throat. He could be serious. He totally could. "You know people would miss you if you died, right?"
Carlton scoffed. "Oh, I know. I'm sure O'Hara will be devastated when she finally becomes head detective and doesn't have her every move being questioned by a control freak."
Shawn winced. He might have called Lassie a control freak a few times. But it was affectionate! Not meant to be taken out of context! The affectionate context!
“C`mon, Lassie, she cares about you! She thinks you're her best friend."
"Well, maybe when I die she can find herself a better one."
"And what about your mothers? Or Laurie! Laurie adores you!"
"Look, Spencer, I-”
“And don`t forget Buzz! Buzz would definitely cry at your funeral! Which means Gus would cry at your funeral, and we wouldn`t even have to hire those crying people to make you seem popular! And-”
"- appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but the truth is-"
"- I care about you! That's the whole reason I jumped in front of a bullet for you, actually."
Carlton froze, clearly taken aback.
He hadn't considered that.
After several seconds where the two of them just silently stared at each other, Lassiter cleared his throat. Looking away from Shawn, he said "Like I said, my point is, don't get yourself in situations where you can possibly die."
Shawn gave him a thumbs up. With both hands.
Lassiter just sighed and shook his head, turning towards the door. But, before leaving, he quietly said "I'm glad you're okay, Spencer. And... thank you."