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Battat had been working the position of “Mike” alongside Pluey and Jongler for a few years now. When it came to his relationship with them, he could probably look back on a few things and admit that perhaps there were some things that were… off. A few things the three of them did that could have clued him into the fact that their relationship together was leaning towards romance. Bordering on it.
…Careening towards it.
…….
Fully romantic. There were some things they did together that were just fully romantic activities for people to do together. It took him a while to realize them for what they were, but he got there in the end. The cuddling on the couch, the sleeping in the same bed, “platonic” kisses on the cheek and forehead, even that whole Valentines Day movie marathon they did every year.
What finally clued the die into it, though, was one fateful turn of events after he had just finished a shift as Mike, and all of them, miraculously, had some time off in the Mike room together…
It was an exhausting shift. It lasted 17 hours, the longest he’d had in ages. He dragged himself across the studio, inputted the code into the door, and fell into the room. Well, fell right into the arms of one of his friends. Well, technically “coworkers”, but...
Either way, he blearily looked up to see Jongler, holding him gently as they began to hoist him up and bring him over to lay on the couch. He was exhausted enough that he let himself lean into their embrace, feeling strangely sad as they put him down. Which could probably just be chalked up to exhaustion.
“Youse alright, boss? Ya seem…”
They did a waving hand motion, impossible to figure out if not for their general tone of concern.
“M’fine, J.”
Jongler made a teeth sucking noise (which was frankly a wonder given their lack of a mouth.) and sat besides Battat, scooting him over a bit. They pulled off his Mike head and costume (Thank the knight for a good tearaway costume), holding his head in their lap. He now had on PJ pants and an old TV Time shirt, typically opting to wear more comfortable clothing under his Mike costume.
Battat sighed calmly, letting himself be cared for this time around. Most times when the others tried to help him out after a shift he would wave them off, or just start yelling at them. For the times he yelled, he’d usually try to apologize after. He hated yelling at them. Unfortunately, he didn’t really know any other way to really get his emotions across. He was lucky that they were so understanding, or else they’d have surely thrown him out ages ago. He told himself that the only reason this time was different for him was because he was so tired.
He was lucky to have them both, but that was a private thought, one he never felt he could really share. Sometimes he felt things about them that felt too gentle to share, lest the feeling evaporate the moment he breathed it out.
He realized suddenly that Jongler had begun to massage his shoulders, his head still in their lap. A radioactive shade of green crept up his face without mercy. He looked up at them pointedly.
“Jongler.” He said through gritted teeth. He refused to assess why exactly this made him feel so…
…
Honestly, the best word that he could use for this feeling would be “loved”, no matter how silly it sounded to him. His coworkers friends didn’t love him like that.
“Ah, sorry. Dat always works fer Pluey. Seemed ya were enjoyin’ it though, boss. Want me ta stop?”
Did he want them to stop? Not particularly. It felt really nice. But did he need them to stop? YES.
“Yeah, yeah, get your hands off me!”
He scrambled in their lap a bit, moving their hands off his shoulders. He was sure they could see through him, see that stupid blush on his face, know exactly what he was thinking of. Know that he secretly wanted them to keep going, because maybe it felt kinda nice to get taken care of by them like that after a rough day. That maybe, just maybe, he wanted nothing more than to curl up next to them with a blanket and just let themselves lean into the comfort of it all. Pluey and Jongler both by his side, telling him that they were proud of him and that he was alright. They usually did that anyways, why is he feeling weird about it now? They always did that stuff! And it was normal!! Why is it the moment that he considers it further, his hands start to shake? UGH.
The two of them stayed silent for a moment, Jongler picking up the remote to put on a show while they relaxed on the couch together. He was staring at them. He should stop staring at them, right? Right?? They pressed play on some documentary show they were into, and looked down at him curiously. The curiosity melted into amusement, a smile in (what is probably) in their eyes.
“What are you looking at??”
“Nuttin’, boss.”
A moment of charged silence passes, Battat silently daring them to say anything further. He breaks first.
“FINE YES KEEP DOING THAT.”
And they do! Goodness, who knew shoulder massages felt this nice? He just sank into it a bit, listening to the calm droning of the nature documentary Jongler put on.
Pluey walked in from the other room, wearing the black and white onesie that Jongler and Battat had gotten him for their previous birthday. He saw Battat and Jongler sitting together, and grinned. They waved to the two of them animatedly.
“Ah, hey Pluey. How are you?” Battat breathed out tiredly.
(*Not bad, can I join?*)
“Sure, Plues.” Intoned Jongler.
Battat didn’t know what he expected when Pluey asked to join them, but dragging the two of them into a cuddle pile on the couch wasn’t it. Pluey launched himself at the two of them, just barely managing to not squish Battat, whose head was still resting on Jongler’s lap. They situated so that Jongler was holding all three of them, with Battat sitting in the middle. Pluey’s arm rested around his shoulder. Which. Was fine. Because they did that all the time. Like friends do.
Pluey leaned over to Battat, which was fine. Because sometimes friends get physically close. To each other’s faces. Pluey gave him a wet, catlike kiss on the cheek, which was fine. Because friends do that. Pluey gave him a few more, with an exaggerated ‘smack’ noise each time. Which was fine!! And he was having a perfectly normal and platonic reaction to that. He made some quiet dying noise, and nudged Pluey away. Pluey grinned. Oh no. He attacked Battat’s many die faces relentlessly with kisses, Jongler chuckling a little at the display. Ohh no. He was surely burning up.
After a moment of this, Pluey stopped and made sure Battat was looking at him, before asking;
(*Is this okay to do?*)
Battat made another small noise of defeat, and attempted to grumble something out about shamelessness and “stupid idiots”. Pluey shrugged and backed off, going back to his place leaning against Battat. Internally, Battat had all alarms blaring. What was this?? They’d been affectionate and “kissy” before, but that was something entirely new. He shoved the red alarms and emergency conferences of his mind down for now. He could unpack it later. LATER, DAMMNIT.
The three of them sat in companionable (in Battat’s case, panicked) silence for a few hours. Battat’s space between the two of them was warm and cozy, and after Jongler got up to get them all a blanket he knew he was done for. He was out, done in by the sounds of soft breathing from his friends and the quiet piano playing in the background of the nature documentary.
—————————————————————————————
It was 2 hours later when Battat finally woke up, though it was still night. The other two had seemingly turned the TV off and gotten up to get ready for bed, a pillow placed under his head and his blanket lovingly tucked in. With sleep leaking out of his eyes and a bad crick in his back from lying on the couch, he made his way to their shared bathroom and brushed his teeth for sleep. When he made it back to the Mike room, he opened the door to find Jongler and Pluey standing in each other’s arms, Pluey kissing the flat plane of Jongler’s face.
Wait, what?
Battat just stood there wordlessly, mouth wide open. Jongler noticed him after a second of him standing there, staring, and moved their face away from Pluey’s to look back at Battat. Pluey looked over to Battat as well, a little abashed at being caught.
“Ah, sorrys. Didn’t knows ya was there. Ready for bed?”
Battat began sputtering, waving his hands around, grasping for something to say. No words came out.
(*You okay?*)
“No, no, I’m fine, I-I can get out of your way, I’m sorry. I’ll leave.” Battat spat out nervously.
He quickly ran out of their shared room, out of the living room, out of the Mike room. He had to get out, out, out. How long had they been dating without him realizing? How long had he just been in their way? How long had they given him simple kisses on the cheek just as some way of making him feel included? How long had he been taking up their space? How long how long how long how long how long-
—————————————————————————————
He’d run to the supply closet, driven by the instincts drilled into an oft-alone pippins who had no other safe haven. He breathed in, and out. In, and out. In, and out, until he’s able to breathe without his lungs screaming at him and his chest burning. He scuffs his bare feet on the floor, kicking up a layer of dust. It’s been a while since he’s had to use this closet to hide out in. It’s remained unused by everyone except for the janitors ever since Jongler and Pluey moved into the Mike room with him. Jongler and Pluey. Right. They were.. It doesn’t matter. He’ll just apologize, and maybe they can still be friends. He feels so, so stupid.
In, and out, and try not to breathe in the dust, you moron. Maybe he could sleep in this closet tonight. If he remembers correctly, he stashed a blanket in here ages ago in case anything happened and he needed a place to hide for a while. He used to have so many more contingency plans. What happened to that Battat?
...Right. He got comfortable.
In, and out. No dust in his lungs. No heart attacks. Just in, and out.
It takes a while, but he manages to calm down. He can explain things to Jongler and Pluey, and since they’ve been good enough to him about his now-obvious third wheeling so far they’ll hopefully be understanding enough to not kick him out.
It’s just as he’s halfway through drafting an apology in his head, he hears a knock on the door. Rats, of course he just had to tell them his typical hiding spot. Because he trusted them. Which he now realizes to be a foolish and incredibly risky move. When did he stop thinking about them like that? As friends, instead of pieces on a chess board? Something he had to use, and protect himself from? As.. something else, too. Something- no, someone he wants to protect. Two someones, which he’s still incredulous about. Two people he’s become close to. Two people he genuinely cares about.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Right. The door. Time to face the music.
He slowly opens the door, to find a worried Pluey and Jongler. They’re both still in their pajamas… Which he’s… clearly having normal feelings about.
(*We’re sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you.*)
Pluey didn’t convey much in the way of tone, for the uncommon times he did speak using his whiteboard or sign language. Though his words were dry, the emotion came from his expression. He seemed miserable. As did Jongler, with what little facial features they had.
“We didn’t wanna scares ya off from dat stuff, boss. We’ll try ‘n go slower with ya.”
Wait, “with you”? What did they mean? Why would there be any assumption that Battat would have a place in their relationship? Weren’t they just humoring him?
“No, no, you two don’t have to do that for me. I can.. I can give you guys space. I should have been doing that from the start, anyway.”
The pair look at each other confusedly, then shifting into something sadder.
“No, Batts, that ain’t what we wants. You’re s’posed to be on equal footin’ wit us here. Youse deserves time to get comfortable wit dat stuff.”
What?????
“No, Jongler. I’m not on equal footing here. You two were in a relationship for knight know how long and I was an oblivious IDIOT to it all! You just! Lied! For months! YEARS, MAYBE! How could I be on equal footing with you keeping that from me while we were all living together? Was it always just.. You two trying to humor me? Make me feel included?”
The pair looks at each other again, incredulous. Then to Battat, and back to each other. Back and forth. Realization dawns on their faces. Jongler looks like they'd have a “!” hovering over their head, if cartoon logic applied here. The pair are frozen in place.
“What? What is it? C’mon, I deserve at least a FEW answers here.”
Great job trying to not get them to kick you out, Battat. Doing real swell here. He internally chastises himself, but tries to keep a confident facade.
They scramble back to life, both of them gesturing wildly. Pluey tries to sign, but just ends up flapping his hands back and forth, looking disgruntled. Jongler tries to speak, and then stops, and then finally gets something coherent out.
“Boss, we’re DATIN’. Alla us. I thought dat was tha deal here.”
Pluey nods their assent. By his expression, it seems to have calmed down a little.
…
…..
……
“WHAT????”
“Youse… you.. I tried.. Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh. I sees it now.”
…A beat of silence passes uncomfortably.
“Yes??”
“Okay, uh, so, you remember dat one time where we were all goin’ out, and I asked if ya would like to all be togetha.”
They gesture to Pluey and Battat.
“And youse two said yes. Batts, ya said ‘It would make sense.’ or somethin’ like dat.”
The blood drains out of Battat’s face. Of course. He’s immobile, just standing and staring at his two.. Partners?? How could he have misinterpreted something as clear as that? He thought they had meant something about *living together*. And that was… about a year ago, a little bit before they all officially moved into the Mike room as their permanent living space together. Oh god. They thought the three of them had gotten together, and the moving together was seen as a natural development of a romantic relationship.
Battat slides to the ground, his back against the door. He groans dramatically.
“UGHHHHH. I thought you meant “living together”, not…”
He gestures incomprehensibly.
“THAT.”
Pluey and Jongler, again (WOULD THEY STOP DOING THAT ALREADY??), look at each other. They seem to be mulling something over.
“So youse… don’t wanna be in a relationship wit us?”
That’s an entirely different monster. Apparently, Battat has been in a relationship for MONTHS without his knowledge, despite his friends (‘partners’, something in his brain supplies) consistently being physically and verbally VERY AFFECTIONATE with him. Okay. One breath in, one breath out. Think about it, Battat. Does he want to be with them? The cuddling, the kisses, the light hearted shoulder massages, the late night movie marathons for whatever inane cowboy western series Jongler was obsessed with that week. All that, but more.
Pluey’s insistence on the cat-Mike uniform. Jongler’s love for that cowboy hat. More and more of these two, these fools who’ve unleashed what little care his horrid little green heart is capable of feeling.
The answer is yes, obviously??? The reality is that he’d been feeling this way about them for a while, and had been repressing it. As he does with most things. Maybe he should.. Unpack that sometime. With a professional, maybe.
He stutters, sputtering in starts and stops, and finally clears his throat.
“AHEM. I thought you two were just.. Being nice to me. With all the romantic stuff we did together.”
Pluey makes an indignant (but not unhappy) noise at this, and raises his arms in the air.
“What I assume he’s sayin’ is dat we did dat little movie thing for valentine’s day. And uh, got each other chocolates. I’m confused bout dat too. How did youse not know, if only cuz ‘a dat??”
“I never said I was an observant man, Jongler.” Battat grits out.
(*THE CHOCOLATES, THOUGH*)
Pluey signs with rage which may or may not be exaggerated for comedic effect.
“I know, I know.. Well, I know now.”
A moment of silence passes. The two look expectantly to Battat, and he groans and covers his face with his hands. The other two sit down on the floor across from him, Pluey fiddling with the sleeve of his onesie.
“Yes. The answer’s yes.”
The two of them almost slide across the floor to crush him in a hug. Jongler has the good sense to move back a little, asking;
“Uh, can we, uh..”
“Yes yes, Pluey’s already crushing me anyways- STOP LICKING MY HAND FINE I’LL PET YOU.”
Jongler joins Pluey in crushing Battat in a warm hug. They both give him a few kisses across his head and face. Despite Jongler’s lack of a mouth, and Pluey’s “kisses” just being him licking Battat’s face.
It’s nice. It’s really nice.
—————————————————————————————
The trio head back to the Mike room, hand in hand (only due to Pluey’s relentless clinginess, Battat told himself). There was a lot of headbutting, started by Pluey and continued by Jongler. It seemed the two were in high spirits! They get back to the room, tired as anything. Battat finally gets ready for bed, the weight on his chest from before lifted. The soft sheets of their shared bed had never felt quite as comforting as they do now. They get into their usual places, and when Battat’s head hits the pillow he sees his partners (wow, he is NEVER going to get used to that) staring at him.
“You two need something?”
There’s a happy trill from Pluey, which Jongler nods along to. How do they always seem to understand each other immediately?? He’d have to take lessons from them sometime.
“Yeah, just uh, glad ta… I dunno, we just like lookin’ at ya, Batts.”
His face turned a radioactive shade of green. God, these two were shameless. How did he not notice them doing this before?? Pluey made a kissy face at Jongler and then tilted his head as if asking a question. Jongler nodded.
“Can we’s kiss ya?”
SHAMELESS. Horrible and shameless, both of them. Knight help him, how will he survive..
“Know yer kinda new at dis and all, so just don’t hesitate to tell us. Two ‘a us’re never gonna want ya to say yes if y’ain’t in the mood or just don’t want dat sorta stuff. Never gonna be an issue here.”
(*So.. Do you?*)
It’s a good question though. DID he want them to?
…
….
…..
Well, obviously.
“Uh-pft-hha, uh, sure!”
He was sure they could both see the stupid, equally shameless little grin on his face. He tried to hide it, but was.. Very unsuccessful. First Pluey leaned forward and gave him a sweet peck on the lips. Battat made an embarrassing sound, something like a mouse squeaking. He backed off and began making his melodious little laugh. It’s hard to tell with shadowguys, but they seemed to be blushing? This was endlessly adorable.
Jongler leaned far down (which was definitely embarrassing) so they were face to face with Battat, and they gave him a small zap on his lips. It wasn’t quite the same as a normal kiss, but it still sent his heart off into overdrive.
The three of them are adults. They have lived together. Have slept in the same bed for months. And have all had their first kisses many many years ago. But here they are, all blushing and laughing like a bunch of lovesick teenagers. Perhaps it was something in the air?
Once they settled down, they slept together a little closer than they usually do. Battat let himself lean into the comfort of it all.
It was really, really nice.
Goodnight, Mikes.