Work Text:
“Jiejie said they’re crossing back over now, she told me to greet you all,” Wei Wuxian said.
“She’s welcome back any time,” Shen Yuan assured.
Jiang Yanli had truly been a delight to host, especially because she’d somehow managed to break up the fight between Luo Binghe and Luo Bingge that had broken out during the cooking contest. Shen Yuan had no freaking clue how, but she’d done it easily.
“I’ll tell her you said that,” Wei Wuxian replied, pulled out a small object and started drawing on it with his finger.
Shen Yuan blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. “Are you sending her a message with this?”
Wei Wuxian looked up. “Hm? Oh, yeah, it’s just something I invented a couple years back. You see, mortals can’t use Heaven’s communication array, so Meng Yao asked me if I could come up with something for him so he could exchange messages with his family. It was actually pretty easy to design. You write something down here and the person you want to send it to gets the message. Kind of like letters, but they’re transmitted over spiritual energy. Way faster than paper.”
Shen Yuan just stared baffled at the object in Wei Wuxian’s hand. That mad chaotic child had genuinely invented the Xianxia version of texting.
“Two questions,” Shang Qinghua asked with wide eyes. “Can we have a couple of those and would you be willing to add a few additional features for us?
We had something similar in our original world.”
“Sure, tell me. I’ll see what I can do.”
Oh my God, Airplane was going to get Wei Wuxian to invent them the internet, wasn’t he?
A few years ago, in another world:
WWX: So, everyone should now have one of the devices I handed out. It’s a new form of communication.
WWX: Let me explain how they work, you can simply write the message in either one of the group chats or directly to one person.
WWX: If any of you want a specific chat, tell me and I will create it.
JWY: Why the hell is this damn thing making weird noises!! Wei Wuxian!!
WWX: Because I wanted a way for everyone to know if they got a message.
JWY: It’s annoying.
LXC: How does this work?
WWX: Glad that you asked
WWX: I took inspiration from both the Jin’s butterflies and the communication array.
WWX: I wanted instant communication possibly for everyone but with more privacy.
WWX: And Nie-xiong dared me if I could.
WWX: Back to how it works, I built a network of spiritual energy that transmits the written communication transformed into waves.
JL: But we don’t see any waves.
WWX: That’s because you can’t, they’re invisible.
WWX: It works similar to my experiments with light and sound, but also totally different.
WWX: The hardest part was making sure the devices didn’t need the spiritual energy of the owner to work, but I solved it.
JWY: Nobody cares how it works! Only if it will blow up into our faces!
WWX: So little trust in me.
WWX: Of course, its safe!
LJY: Didn’t it blow up multiple times while testing?
WWX: Betrayed by my own ducklings! And that’s so not true, it only exploded once!
WQ: WEI WUXIAN, you will stop sending so many separate messages which all cause this device to make annoying sounds! And fix this noise while you’re at it! Also, I demand a group chat for medical emergencies and if any of you write in there without reason, I will stab you with my needles. And I want these notifications announcements turned off!
WWX: Alright, any other group chats?
XL: A-Xian, could you make a family one? Maybe also for the other families?
JL: I want one for the juniors.
NH: Art club. And fan club.
MY: Ling Wen asked that you please make one for Heaven as well. She wants every not time sensitive request to take that approach from now on. It gives her less headaches. Also, she requests for a way to safe the messages so that she can prove to a couple gods who’re incapable of remembering what they agreed to what they said.
NH: Oh gods, Wei-xiong, you’re the best, this will get me so much blackmail!!
And so many chats were created and chaos was brought to all. Except Wen Qing’s Medical Emergencies because she is scary.
Juniors
World’s best son: Maybe we shouldn’t have let A-Niang make this chat all on his own…
Young Mistress Jin: You THINK???
The un-Lan Lan: I mean it works. It can’t be that hard to figure out how to change the names.
Romantic: Are we sure we want to tinker with something the Yiling Patriarch invented?
The un-Lan Lan: I kind of like my fingers.
World’s best son: …I’ll just ask A-Niang to change it.
Family
Heavenly Mom: Will everyone be on time for dinner?
Hell Dad: Of course, gege.
Little Butterfly: I will be a bit late, me and Lan Zhan are busy with Chief Cultivator stuff.
Hell Dad: Do you even know what that ‘stuff’ is?
Little Butterfly: No, but Nie-xiong is here. I’m just signing what he tells me to.
Hell Dad: You’re what? Tell me you read it before signing!
Little Butterfly: Of course I read it!
Heavenly Mom: A-Xian
Little Butterfly: Okay, fine, Lan Zhan read it. But it has been read.
Little Radish: I’m still on a nighthunt with the others.
Medical Emergencies
LXC: A disciple touched one of Wuxian’s inventions and it blew up. Can a medic please come?
…
MXY: Xue Yang stabbed someone.
…
LJY: Does accidently stabbing a hole into your foot count as a medical emergency?
WQ: Yes! How? Where are you?
….
MXY: Xue Yang stabbed someone again.
…
HC: The two idiots had a fight and bystanders were injured.
LW: Which idiots?
HC: The heavenly ones.
XL: You two, please behave.
WQ: On my way.
…
JL: Uncle Wei touched something weird!
New group chat was created by Wei Wuxian.
WWX: So, I still haven’t figured out how to communicate over worlds, but if you are in the same one, it should work.
YQ: What is this thing?
SJ: Wei Wuxian’s madness. It’s convenient, though.
WWX: Hey, I’m not mad!
SJ: No, just an idiot.
Cucumber-bro: Yes, I can finally text again!!!!
Airplane-bro: is this 4 real
Airplane-bro: OMG yes phonees ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡
Cucumber-bro: How about you write properly?
Airplane-bro: lol nö
Airplane-bro: Neet, the Millennial Gremlins are baaaaack
Cucumber-bro has left the chat.
Airplane-bro: Broooooooooo