Chapter Text
Squirt skedaddled through the kelp, trying to get back to his wolf pack before his optical orbs turned red. Panting, bubbles flew around him, and the water ran under his orange and yellow scales, frantically flapping his green and blue fins.
“I need to get back,” he muttered determinedly in his low, rumbly, sigma alpha-y voice. Even if I’m not the alpha, there has to be SOMETHING I can do.
He felt his orbs start turning red, as he paused to gather his sigma. “Don’t lose your rizz, don’t lose your rizz,” he panted, panicking. “Keep yourself together.”
Suddenly, he heard bubbles behind him, and kelp moved theatrically out of the way of the approaching figure. Heart pounding, Squirtholemew backed up slowly, trying to keep his inner beta together. The figure that emerged, however, took his breath away. His heart stopped, but he didn’t find himself calming down. Ever since the incident he found himself jumping at the slightest of movements. He was not like everyone else… no one could understand him. Maybe no one ever would. Pookie? He thought on instinct, catching himself. What? I don’t even know her!
“Who are you?” He asked instead, avoiding contact with her bright blue orbs.
The fish in front of him paused. “I… who are you?”
He blinked, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. “I’m… I’m Squirtholemew. You can call me Squirt Squirt though, the Beta.” He felt his scales heat at the embarrassing introduction, and the water around him boiled. The fish in front of him tilted her head to the side.
“Beta?”
“...Yeah,” he answered reluctantly, backing up. “I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be here-” But the mysterious fish cut him off.
“Wait-” She said suddenly, and he paused halfway through the kelp. “You’re pretty….. nonchalant for a beta.” Her bright blue orbs glistened confidently as she smirked. “Maybe even as nonchalant as Kai Cenat or Baby Gronk.”
“B-But I’m just a beta, dismissive and weak,” Squirtholemew stammered meekly. “I’ll never be as sigma skibidi as the others.” After he said that, the female fish seemed to suddenly jump and skedaddle back a bit.
“A- as what?” she asked, voice shaking feebly, because she was just too small and petite to do much else.
“As sigma skibidi…?” He tried carefully. The fish with XX chromosomes started shaking again, and suddenly, she started unintentionally, uncontrollably… spouting the Skibidi Toilet theme song. Squirtholemew jumped back.
“SKIBIDI TOILET… SKIBIDI SKIBIDI TOILET” she yelled, and his heart started pounding in fear. He suddenly surged forward, and pinned her to the damp sand.
“It’s ok!” he shouted over her loud demonic chants. “You’ll be ok! Just take deep breaths!” The fish that was able to lay eggs looked into his orbs, trying to stop the words from effortlessly flowing out of her mouth.
She tried to stop for him, she knew she could! Her lips continued to pucker and move suggestively at the lyrics, “Ski-Skibidi Toilet!” Tears streamed down her face, but Squirt Squirt wiped them away. “Kitten- stop! Stop for Daddy!” She peered into his orbs, shimmering with a red finish. She let out a gasp as the flow stopped. She knew what this meant… but she could not tell him.
“I-I have to go!” She exclaimed, unlike the other girls would. Her -26 pound body escaped his grasp, and she swam away, faster than a low taper fade.
“W-Wait!” Squirttholemew attempted to swim after her, but he failed. He couldn’t help but stare at her petite body, effortlessly majestic in swimming. He had never seen a girl like her, beautiful, yet intelligent. Kind, yet funny. Then he remembered that a beta like him could never be with a rizzler like her; it was forbidden. She could only have an Alpha… not a beta like him. That’s how it would always be. He felt his heart sink slowly, and he sighed, forlorn.
“I guess my L-rizz is too strong,” he murmured as he gooned sadly. He couldn’t help but edge at the thought of the petite, natural beauty of the fish he called kitten. “I wish she was my kitten, frfr,” he muttered. But alas, he would never live up to the title… no matter how much he glazed her.