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“A-Niang? A-Die?”
Wei Wuxian looked up from where he was cuddling his husband to see his little radish and the other ducklings standing in front of him with very red faces.
“Are you alright? What happened?” Wei Wuxian asked concerned.
“Yes, we just found… something.”
“You found something?” Xie Lian asked slowly.
The ducklings all nodded rapidly while getting even redder.
Wei Wuxian sighed. There went his cuddling time. Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan had come over again and Black Water had extensively complained about not being invited to the cooking competition. While he and Hua Cheng had… let’s go with argued about it, the Windmaster had promptly decided they needed a picnic for the couples to make up for it and then proceeded to drag everyone into it.
Therefore, Wei Wuxian was currently sitting in the Bamboo Forest with Lan Zhan, his parents, Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan, Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe and Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun. Also Nie Huaisang because he was shameless enough to invite himself as an eleventh wheel to talk fans with Windmaster and Shen Yuan while Black Water was busy inhaling everything in sight and Luo Binghe was busy pouting that his husband was talking to someone else.
Anyway, Wei Wuxian certainly hadn’t expected his ducklings to crash the party.
“What did you find?” Wei Wuxian asked.
The juniors exchanged a look before Ouyang Zizhen and Lan Jingyi pulled out two books and handed one of them to Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan and another to Xie Lian and Hua Cheng without daring to look them in the eye.
Wei Wuxian frowned as he and Lan Zhan looked at it. “The Boy and the Bunny?”
Shen Yuan glanced at the cover and promptly choked on his food. He coughed violently a few times while Luo Binghe was fretting over him. Eventually, he wheezed out, “Look at the author!”
Wei Wuxian did. Hm, wasn’t that the one from Regret of Chunshan? But why would his ducklings hand him one of those books? Or to be more accurate, why would they do it out in the open and in front of his parents?
Speaking of said parents, Xie Lian suddenly made a strangled noise next to him. Wei Wuxian looked over to see his mother being redder than all the ducklings combined. Hua Cheng on the other hand looked positively murderous.
“Niangniang? Diedie?”
In the meantime, Lan Zhan had opened the book in his hands and was instantly frozen stiff.
“Why are you all freaking out like that?” He Xuan asked unimpressed.
Nie Huaisang had a shit-eating grin. “You’re smart, think about it. The author from Regret of Chunshan wrote these books and our dear juniors here handed them to these couples specifically. What do you think it entails?”
Wei Wuxian blinked before scrambling to skim the open pages of The Boy and the Bunny. No. No fucking way. He felt his cheeks heating up.
Shi Qingxuan burst out laughing. “So, there’s now a porn book about His Majesty and Crimson Rain? And one about their son and his husband as well?”
Xie Lian hid his very, very red face in his hands.
“Let me see!” the Windmaster prompted.
Xie Lian showed no intention of handing the book over. Nie Huaisang on the other hand calmly pulled another version of the book out of his sleeves and handed it to Shi Qingxuan who gleefully started reading.
“Care to explain?” Hua Cheng asked with a dark voice.
Nie Huaisang was completely unbothered by the Calamity trying to glare him to death. “Nope.”
“It’s actually pretty nice to Uncle Xie,” Jin Ling said.
Ouyang Zizhen nodded along. “The red String of Fate goes out of his way to praise his virtues every second line and it’s very clear that everything in Xianle was Jun Wu’s fault as His Highness Xie Lian is perfection incarnated.”
“…guess I won’t be murdering the author after all if they at least got that right,” Hua Cheng murmured annoyed.
The author must’ve done pretty good research. Excessively praising Xie Lian was the only way Hua Cheng wouldn’t murder them for this.
Xie Lian made another strangled noise from where his face was still hidden in his hands.
Shang Qinghua gave Jin Ling and Ouyang Zizhen a long look. “And how would you know the content?”
“No reason!” both juniors shouted instantly.
Shi Qingxuan chuckled from where they were reading. “It seems rather cute, actually. Am I in this as well?”
Nie Huaisang hid his expression behind his fan, but his eyes were sparkling in delight. “The Windmaster and Black Water Sinking Ships are both important side characters and fans loved their relationship so much, there has been an announcement for a spin off for the two of them.”
He Xuan froze while eating, the noodles he’d been slurping still hanging from his mouth.
Shi Qingxuan paused reading. “I'm not too sure if our story is suited for that kind of book…”
“Oh, don’t worry, the author goes with you’ve been dating for centuries before the whole you-know-what happened. Also, your brother perished during his heavenly tribunal,” Nie Huaisang explained.
“The you-know-what?” Shen Yuan asked carefully.
“Not important,” Nie Huaisang replied. “Hey, Lan-xiong, what are you doing with that book?”
Lan Zhan who’d been quietly putting the book into his sleeve said, “Confiscating.”
Wei Wuxian had a pretty good idea what his husband would be confiscating the book for.
“Oh, come on, I want to read it, too,” Shang Qinghua complained.
Nie Huaisang swiftly pulled out another version again, ignored the looks he got from Lan Zhan and Hua Cheng and handed the book over.
“Neat, thanks.”
Shen Yuan looked contemplatively at Xie Lian and Wei Wuxian who were having a blushing competition. “It’s surprisingly fun if those books are not about you.”
“Obviously,” Shang Qinghua deadpanned and turned to the juniors. “How accurate is this one?”
“You think I read that one?” Jin Ling snapped with red cheeks. “It’s explicit as hell! And my parents are featured in this!”
Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow. “But reading about your uncles is fine?”
Jin Ling spluttered. “Uncle Xie and Uncle Hua are ancient and not mortal, that’s completely different than my mother’s younger brother who feels more like an annoying older brother to me!”
“Hey, I’m an adult, too!”
“Since when?”
“But to answer your question, Shang-qianbei,” Ouyang Zizhen said, “In The Boy and the Bunny Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji got together when they studied together in Cloud Recesses. However, during the Sunshot Campaign when Wei Wuxian got dropped into the Burial Mounds, the resentful energy messed with his memory and basically put a curse on him, so he couldn't properly remember his one true love.” Ouyang Zizhen sighed dramatically. “So tragic! Lan Wangji was heartbroken, but he didn’t know what to do! Eventually, he begged the gods and the Heavenly Emperor heard his plea. Moved by the unyielding devotion he descended and dissolved the curse! It was so romantic!”
Everyone stared at him.
“Alright, you’ve clearly read it,” Luo Binghe commented.
Ouyang Zizhen went bright red again.
“You know what’s my favorite line?” Nie Huaisang spoke up again with a wide grin. “After the curse was resolved, Wei Wuxian apologized profoundly to his lover and said and I quote: ‘I’m so sorry, Lan Zhan, it was the curse! The only way I would ever behave so stupidly is if I was cursed. It’s simply impossible for anyone to be so freaking oblivious otherwise!’”
Now everyone was looking at Wei Wuxian. Even Mobei-Jun had his eyebrows raised.
The Demonic Cultivator in question pouted. “I wasn’t that bad.”
“Yes, you were,” He Xuan said blankly. “And my reference point is Crimson Rain and his husband.”
Shi Qingxuan whistled. “Damn, that author is spot on.”
[System repairs at 100%.]
[Filing Shen Jiu as alive. No error in world stability.]
[Closing information on deceased individuals.]
[Closing…]
[Error detected.]