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There’s no proper recorded reason or name for the phenomenon of hearts floating around you when you’re in love—or at least, definitely not in the quite very literal sense. Add it to the fact that this only started happening after the abrupt demolition of the Akasha Terminal, and Kaveh isn’t saying Alhaitham did something, because between the two of them, he’s the engineer, not Alhaitham, but it cannot be simply a coincidence that those two things started happening around the same time.
The first time it happened, Kaveh had almost shrieked in panic. He remembers the moment clearly; he’d been sitting at the dinner table after a long day at work, agonizing over what to make himself for dinner. He’d been hungry—his stomach had been quietly throwing a riot ever since that afternoon where he missed lunch because his client decided to be an overbearing ass and tried to convince Kaveh to change the entire schematic diagram because he saw the foundation of the house that was being built and decided that it wasn’t “as pretty as Kaveh said it would be.”
Of course it is, it’s not fucking built yet, Kaveh had wanted to scream, but he’d settled for a half-smile and a, “This isn’t the finished product yet, sir. The foundation is the most important part of the house.” And maybe it’s his fault for engaging, but that led off into an hour-long rant about how Kaveh had better make his money worth it, and he hadn’t been able to get a word in edgewise until the man had paused for breath.
And then, because of that, he’d been late to a meeting with some juniors who requested his help, and since he didn’t want to be even later, he’d skipped lunch and was regretting all his life decisions up until that point because he was so tired that he didn’t have enough energy to even consider making himself even a fried egg to scarf down.
And then Alhaitham had announced his presence with a quiet jingling of his keys, the sound of the front door opening and shutting, and Kaveh had steeled himself for at least a poke or a prod at how absolutely crap he looked as Alhaitham entered the kitchen.
Alhaitham did nothing, except press his hand to Kaveh’s back, the motion unexpectedly soothing, and murmured, “Have you eaten?”
Kaveh found himself shaking his head no.
Alhaitham hadn’t said anything, but he’d moved around the kitchen, and a few seconds later there was a quick chop of a knife on a cutting board. Alhaitham’s ruthlessly efficient with his cooking, which means he’s better at throwing something together quickly while Kaveh tends to get lost in cooking the perfect recipe, redoing things over and over until he deems it perfect enough.
He'd only raised his head from the kitchen table when he heard the sizzle of oil in a pan, staring at Alhaitham’s back. He prefers to take a shower and change into more comfortable clothes as soon as he gets home, Kaveh knows. Why was he cooking like this, Kaveh remembers thinking a bit deliriously, is he hungry too?
“What are you doing?” he remembers saying, a little dumbly.
“Fried egg,” Alhaitham’d said, succinct, “Otherwise, I’m afraid you’ll try to start eating the table. Don’t. It was expensive.”
Kaveh couldn’t reply. His tongue had been stuck in his mouth as he stared at Alhaitham’s back, because despite his words, Alhaitham was cooking for him. Alhaitham, who liked his routines but apparently liked Kaveh enough to forgo them just for a bit to cook him something because he’d surely seen how tired and worn out Kaveh looked.
And then—a pop.
Kaveh jumped so hard he almost fell out of his chair when a pink heart that popped up right in front of his face, and it was only because of his panic that he’d managed to grab and shove the thing down under the table by the time Alhaitham had turned around to ask about the noise. It’s weirdly soft. Like holding a velvet plush toy.
“Nothing!” Kaveh had squeaked, unsure about why he was hiding this in the first place, “sorry, just—hit my head. Don’t worry.”
Alhaitham had made a concerned noise but turned back towards his cooking, and in the next minute the stove had turned off and he’d set a plate down in front of Kaveh. Fried egg with onions—a dish had never looked so appetizing to him as it had then.
“Thank you,” Kaveh had managed to say, as Alhaitham made to leave the room, and had gotten a wave in return.
When he’d looked under the table, the heart had disappeared.
He’d gone to Tighnari about it, obviously. Half-concerned about being cursed but also half-convinced he had hallucinated the entire thing, and Tighnari had told him that there was both good and bad news.
The good news was that Kaveh was definitely not hallucinating, because Tighnari’s seen multiple instances of something like his case popping up in the last few days. The bad news is that these hearts are definitely indicative of fond feelings for whoever they pop up for.
A large number of people aren’t affected by it, Tighnari tells him sympathetically.
It’s just that Kaveh’s one of the unlucky few.
And so his life has become a comedy of errors trying to hide these damn things from Alhaitham. There’s a particularly horrifying accident—which is only funny in hindsight—where Kaveh had nearly got his head rolled off by a passing cart because Alhaitham had picked out a bracelet for him and it wasn’t a garish purple and orange color with a strange and mysterious jewel the size of his eye set into it—it was quite pretty, actually, woven with gold and a little musical note charm that Alhaitham remarked looked good on Kaveh’s wrist.
In hindsight, he probably should have let it happen, because that at least would’ve been better than what he’s going through right now.
Which is accidentally spewing hearts at Cyno and Tighnari, and he thanks all the gods he can name that Alhaitham isn’t here right now because there’s no way he can keep a lid on himself, not with the way he keeps spouting hearts when he so much as looks in his friends’ directions.
They’re not the obnoxious pink hearts that pop up with Alhaitham, at least. Tighnari had taken one look at him popping out yellow hearts for him and promptly held him hostage as a science experiment, complimenting him and bringing him food until he’d popped out a yellow heart so big it actually almost took off Tighnari’s head when he’d thrown it at him.
They seem to disappear after a few minutes, which is both a relief as it is a curse because while Kaveh is aware that these accursed hearts will disappear after a few minutes, it’s very much a nerve-wracking experience trying to keep them hidden until they poof back out of existence.
“I think it’s cute,” Cyno says, holding one of his own purple hearts up. He has a pile of five gathered around him protectively, because when Kaveh had tried to snatch them up to put them away, he’d honestly hissed at Kaveh. He hasn’t dared to reach out towards that side of the table again yet. “A very… hearty compliment.”
Kaveh says nothing.
Tighnari says nothing.
Cyno looks at them expectantly, and says nothing.
“Anyways,” Kaveh clears his throat. “That’s why I need to move out. Preferably permanently, and I need to not stay with either of you either, so, Tighnari, I think you should just dump my body in the woods and be done with it.”
“You’d be bad for the ecosystem,” Tighnari says primly, and takes a sip of his drink. “And what’s the harm, anyways. It’s not as if he doesn’t know that you’re at least friends. That’s a type of affection, isn’t it?”
“They’re PINK,” Kaveh screeches, slamming his own drink onto the table, because they aren’t getting it—“And they turned RED a few days ago, Tighnari, that’s so obvious! He’s going to know! Immediately!”
“Does it work like that?” Cyno asks. “Are we the only people who affect you like this, right now?”
“I haven’t met Dehya or Candace yet, so I’m not sure,” Kaveh says, listing off his friends, “I’ve had one blue heart for Nilou, though.”
“Did she see?”
“She thought it was cute,” Kaveh admits, “But I’m sure she hasn’t told anyone else.”
“I think you should just tell Alhaitham,” Tighnari cuts in, “I’m sure he would prefer you professing your undying love for him than you dying because you were trying to hide your hearts in the coffeemaker.”
“That was one time! Forget it, I can’t do it, just—kill me now. Dispose of my body before I get home, thanks.”
“And leave me with less rent money?”
Kaveh yelps, jumping half a foot in the air, because that is not a voice he was expecting, but he’s tipsy enough that he can’t hide the glance he sneaks towards the hearts still piled up between Tighnari and Cyno, and Alhaitham tracks the movement with shrewd eyes.
“What are those?”
Kaveh doesn’t reply, prompts Alhaitham to look at him, and, fortunately, by the time he looks back, the hearts have hit their time limit and disappeared from right underneath their eyes.
“Nothing!” he says, when Alhaitham’s head swivels around to look at him again, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you must be seeing things!”
“Hm,” Alhaitham makes a noise of consideration. “Well. No matter. You should get home.”
“Are you my mother, Alhaitham?” Kaveh says, squinting up at him, “It’s barely ten!”
“It is half past eleven,” Alhaitham points out. “And I know you have a client meeting tomorrow.”
“Let me make my bad decisions on my own,” Kaveh says mulishly.
“And have you complain in my ear when you inevitably end up hungover with three hours of sleep in the morning?” Alhaitham retorts, but then his voice softens. “Come on. I made beef stew.”
Kaveh stares up at Alhaitham. It’s just a little thing, really. They’ll often cook for each other to make their lives easier, but the fact that Alhaitham made it and saved it for him makes Kaveh’s heart squeeze uncomfortably tight in his chest.
And like a very rude reminder of Kaveh’s affliction, just as he forgets about it for a few seconds, an obnoxiously large red heart pops into the air between Alhaitham and Kaveh.
Kaveh’s sees Alhaitham’s eyes widen and his arms immediately reach out to catch it, and just as Kaveh’s about to tell him that he probably shouldn’t, gravity takes ahold of it and Alhaitham stumbles under the weight that’s been dropped unexpectedly into his arms.
“What,” Alhaitham utters softly.
“Fuck,” Kaveh says, and climbs over the table to run.
He doesn’t get very far, unfortunately, but he at least makes it stumbling out of the tavern before Alhaitham catches him with a hand around his wrist.
“Kaveh,” Alhaitham says, and his voice is serious enough that Kaveh stops and goes stumbling when Alhaitham, apparently not having expected this outcome, runs straight into his back. But just as he thinks he’s about to faceplant straight into the ground, Alhaitham’s hand slips around his waist and curls back into himself, leaving Kaveh staring up at him with wide eyes, clutching Alhaitham’s shoulder as he tries not to fall onto his ass.
It would be something out of a romance play, Kaveh laments, if not for the fact that Alhaitham’s still holding the giant heart under his arm, and looking frankly ridiculous(ly cute) doing it.
As if on cue, a small pink heart pings right on top of Alhaitham’s head.
“This—”
“I swear it’s not my fault,” Kaveh says, and fuck, he’s entirely too sober to deal with this—“It’s not my fault! It just happened after you deactivated the Akasha system so really it’s your fault and I think you should let me go so I can at least run away in peace—!”
Alhaitham doesn’t reply, just sets him on his feet, grabs Kaveh’s hand, and powerwalks him all the way back to their house. Somewhere along the way, the giant heart dissipates into the air, and between one blink and the next, Kaveh’s been pushed inside their house where he takes a moment to breathe because damn, Alhaitham walks fast.
“Alhaitham—” Kaveh starts, only to be stunned into silence when Alhaitham presses a finger to his lips and retreats to the living room, where he stands.
Just. Stands there.
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh repeats, following more sedately, definitely annoyed, “what are you—”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, because something hits him right in the chest and he stumbles a step back, hands automatically coming up—
It’s a little green heart.
Kaveh gapes at Alhaitham, who squeezes his eyes shut, and he only knows to dodge the next green heart that’s flying towards him at an alarming velocity because he’s looking so intently at Alhaitham.
And then it doesn’t stop. Kaveh gets fucking assaulted by pellets of green hearts, all piling around him and falling around his feet and he’s too stunned to do anything but stand there as Alhaitham looks at him like that and then, like the bang of a gavel, Alhaitham makes a face and straight up drops a heart the size of a sumpter beast on Kaveh.
“Alhaitham,” he says, a little faintly, “You—you too?”
“Yes,” Alhaitham’s face appears above Kaveh’s where he’s staring at the ceiling, slowly being crushed to death, “I know what it means.”
“It’s obvious what it means, I just—you? Me?”
“Yes,” Alhaitham says. He kneels beside Kaveh, seemingly intent on not letting him move, and brushes his fingers across Kaveh’s bangs. “If you hadn’t realized by now, you’re dumber than I thought.”
“You’re so fucking stupid,” Kaveh tells him, and yanks him down for a kiss with a hand fisted in the collar of Alhaitham’s stupid fucking shirt.
Alhaitham kisses him back, smiling, and shoves a little pink and red heart into Kaveh’s mouth when he pulls back.