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“Hey mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Earlier today, when you asked me what happened in Vecna’s mind, I…I didn’t tell you everything.”
His mom looks at him with confusion, eyes flicking over him as she walks closer to him.
Will sits down in the armchair behind him, his mother sat on the couch to his side.
“I…” He started, but immediately stopped. “Sorry it’s just—it’s hard.”
Joyce leaned in closer to him, eyebrows furrowing with worry as she places her hand on his arm. Warm and firm, reassuring.
“Will, what’s going on?”
Will took a shaky breath, swallowing as he looked from his hands to his mother.
“When I was in Vecna’s mind, he was um…he was in mine too.”
His mother cocked her head to the side.
“I mean, we know that he can invade our minds. See our memories, our feelings…” He looked back down to his shaking hands. “our secrets.”
She nodded, her hand dragging from his arm to cup his hand between hers.
Suddenly, the echoes of steps entered from the hall. Will and Joyce looked up to find Mike standing at the entrance.
“Um—sorry—we just heard from Hop. He’s fifteen minutes out, so we should probably leave in five…” Mike’s gaze moved onto Will, eyes now focused. “Is everything okay?”
Will takes a shaky breath.
“We- we’re talking about what happened. When I was in Vecna’s mind,” Will confessed. His mind began to race with visions that Vecna had forced into his mind. So many focused on the boy in front of him.
“I- I think you should hear this too, actually.”
Mike blinked in surprise, nodding as he made his way to sit in the chair next to Will, across from Joyce.
“Like I was saying,” Will started again. “Vecna can see into our minds, he can find out our secrets. And I- I have a secret. A secret I’ve never…” His mind flashes to Robin. It’s not just me, Will thinks. I’m not alone in this. “But the thing about secrets, is that, once they are out, they don’t hold any power. Right? Like there’s- there’s nothing he would have to hurt me with if- if I can just trust you with this.” Will’s eyes flick from his mom to Mike. “If I can trust my friends with this.”
Mike leans closer, hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder. Will lets out a shaky breath as Mike’s palm rests on his skin like a promise.
“Hey, you don’t need to be scared about whatever your secret is. Not with me,” Mike says in almost a whisper, his voice so, so soft. His eyes wander over Will’s face, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Crazy together, remember?”
Will lets out a sound that’s a mixture between a laugh and a sob, looking back to his mom, then back at Mike. Mike who is still looking at him like that.
“I’ve just- I’ve been so scared. My whole life, I’ve had this secret. I’ve had to keep it to myself because, because I—“ Tears begin to roll down his cheeks as he curls in on himself, breaking down. His hands retreating from his mom’s to nearly cover his whole face. “I didn’t want everyone to be right about me. But, I’m just so tired of being scared,” He whispers.
Mike’s eyebrows furrow, that familiar line appearing between them, confused and concerned.
“Didn’t want…who to be right?”
Will softly lets out another sob, under his breath as his hands pull away from his face to look Mike in his eyes. Will feels his face crumble, his lips quivering and tears running down his face.
“My dad, Troy, everyone.” He looks back to his mom, her lips pressing together into a sad smile. She’s crying too.
“Oh, baby,” She murmurs, bringing her hand up to cup his cheeks. Will looks down, tears now rolling down his neck and falling off of his chin.
“I- I’m—“ He leans down, trying to hide his face as he whispers the words that have been hiding in his mind for years. The words, the secret, the truth that has been haunting him for his whole life.
“I’m gay.” His words come out choked. He brings his hands back to his face, two fists hiding his eyes from the people he loves the most. He’s shaking so hard, fear coursing through his whole body like poison and making his chest hurt.
Mike’s grip on his shoulder loosens, but doesn’t let go. Will uncovers his eyes, peering through his tears to look at his best friend.
“Please, Mike, say something,” He whispers through his sobs. Say you don’t hate me.
Mike’s lips part slightly, a breath falling out of his mouth like he has been holding it in for years. His grip, once more, strengthens on Will’s shoulder. And before Will can worry any more, he’s pulling him into his arms. Mike tightly wraps his arms around Will, squeezing him so tightly that he can barely breathe.
“I told you,” Mike says shakily. “You don’t have to be scared of your secrets. Not with me.” He pulls away slightly, both his hands now firmly cupping Will’s neck. Tears roll down his face again, now crying with relief. His chest feels lighter, like he can finally breathe again. “Hey, it’s me, right? We’re a team.”
Will nods, a smile unfurling across his face.
“Paladin and cleric,” He laughs.
“And sorcerer, actually,” Mike corrects, still laughing as he hugs Will again. Will looks over Mike’s shoulder at his mother, watching as she gets down from the couch to kneel beside them. Her arms wrap around both boys.
“We love you so much, Will,” She says, her voice just as shaky as her hands. “There’s nothing that could ever make us turn against you.”
Both Mike and Joyce draw back to look at Will. Mike is nodding, wiping his own tears as he smiles.
“Nothing at all,” He agrees. Will laughs with relief, looking only at Mike.
“Crazy together?” He asks, almost like he’s testing him.
“Crazy together.” Mike smiles as he nods again, his thumb gently rubbing Will’s shoulder in reassurance. Reassurance that he was, and always will be, right here.
They were in the upside down. One final time. Four years ago, this very day, Will had been abducted by Vecna and taken into the upside down. He was changed forever. Filled to the brim with foreign power, thoughts, feelings, and abilities. He had carved the whole upside down every night he was missing. Seven days, he created this world between worlds. This world that now, twelve more children were lost to.
Will began to slow down, falling behind the group as the walked into the flipped Hawkins Lab.
“Hey,” A voice called from in front of him. A soft voice that Will knew oh so well. Mike walked towards him, matching his slow pace and walking beside him now. “nervous?”
Will laughed sardonically.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
Mike leaned in, nudging him with his own shoulder.
“Hey, we’ve got this. We’re going to kill Vecna.”
“I- yeah it’s just that…” Will’s thoughts wandered back to that moment with his mother, in a room all by themselves. It’s all my fault. “I can’t stop thinking about how all of this—“ He gestured vaguely around the upside down. “—is all because of me.”
Mike stopped suddenly, his head snapping to look at Will, face flooding with horror and confusion.
“What? No, Will, none of this is your fault!”
Will sighed, tilting his head as he matched Mike’s gaze. Why is everyone always so quick to try and talk him out of his self loathing?
“Yes. It is. Mike—every night I slept here, I was building the upside down. All of this--this world, bridge, whatever--I made it.”
Mike huffed.
“Okay—sure, maybe your mind built the upside down in your sleep—that’s still not your fault! You didn’t choose to do that, it wasn’t your choice. You weren’t even fucking awake!” Mike was shouting now, his eyebrows furrowed and his face slightly flushed. Will sighed, looking away.
“Right, okay yeah. So, I wasn’t strong enough to even control my own mind. Was weak enough that he could take control and make me build a whole other world without me knowing. Whether it was my choice or not, it still seems like it was my fault—” Will started to walk away as he spoke, but Mike chased after him, hands flying to his shoulders and twisting him to face him.
“Will, look at me.”
Will hesitantly met Mike’s eyes. His gaze drawing from his worn down shoes, to his bobbing adam’s apple, to his lips pressed so tightly together, to his dark, brown eyes.
“You are so strong. You were only eleven years old, and you survived this hellscape. No food, no water, nothing. And there is no way in hell that you can be going around with this stupid idea that you’re weak stuck in your head.” He lightly shook Will by his shoulders as he spoke, leaning in closer. “Will you’re…” Mike stilled, only his eyes moving as they scanned Will’s face. Flicking down, then back up to his eyes. “You’re the bravest person I know.”
Will felt his lips start to quiver as Mike spoke. Mike’s eyes flicked down and up once more, before he pulled him into a tight hug. Will’s hands carefully wrapped around Mike’s back, curled fists resting lightly against his torso, as not to go too far. His hands started to shake—no, not his hands. Mike had started shaking. Will heard him sniffing lightly as he burrowed his face further into Will’s shoulder. He let one of his fists unfurl and rest flat against Mike’s back.
“Mike, hey, are you okay?” He asked gently, now rubbing his thumb softly against the center of his back. Mike pulled away from the hug, hands dragging across Will as he drew them back to himself. Crawling from Will’s shoulders, down his arms, and lightly brushing with his hands, before Mike wrapped his arms around himself. He felt the touch lingering on his skin, even through his clothes. Goosebumps breaking out through his arms like a chill, but it somehow felt so different from when it was Vecna he was feeling. So much warmer.
“We all have…” Mike started, pausing like he was second guessing himself. He shook his head softly, taking a deep breath before continuing. “parts of us that we have to hide. Like when Lucas joined the basketball team, and all of a sudden he was trying to be cool. Just when you…when you care too much about how people see you.”
“Mike…” Will whispered, tilting his head to the side.
“How did you—“ Mike said quickly, before cutting himself off.
“How did I…?”
Mike shifted, holding his torso tighter. His gaze flicked from Will back down to the ground.
“How did you know you…that you didn’t like girls?”
Will’s mind promptly, because he never had very good luck, went blank. Mike looked back up at him, eyes widening with panic the longer Will didn’t speak.
“Sorry- shit, that was- that was a stupid question. I shouldn’t have-“ Mike started to turn away, waving his hands around.
“No, no, no Mike. You’re fine it’s—“ Will reached out, grabbing Mike by the shoulder and pulling him back to face him again. “It wasn’t a stupid question.” He let his hand fall, now fiddling with the strap of his backpack.
“I guess I just- there was…there was this…guy,” Will muttered, his eyes quickly flicking from Mike then back to his backpack strap. “I just um…after a while I realized that, that I’d never be able to feel for a girl the way I felt about…about him.” Will took a deep breath, looking away and shaking his head. “He, um, he wasn’t like me though. So, I guess I kind of had to give up hope.”
He slowly let his eyes crawl back to Mike, searching his face for any sign of disgust. Anything that hinted that maybe, somehow, he knew Will was talking about him. Mike had his eyebrows knit tightly together, that familiar wrinkle placing itself between his brows. His lips were slightly parted, and oh how that drove Will crazy.
“Was it- was he in Lenora?”
Will blinked.
“What?”
Mike shook his head, stammering and itching at the back of his neck.
“I just um- it’s just El had once said, in one of her letters, that she thought you…”
Will has been painting something, but he won’t show me what he’s working on. Maybe it is for a girl!
“She thought you were painting something for a girl.” His eyes flicked back up to Will, cheeks slightly redder than before. “Obviously they, um, they weren’t a girl but…was there…was he someone in Lenora?”
Will’s mouth dropped open, his eyes growing wide as panic set across his face.
“Will?”
“I um—“ He turned away, blush spreading across his face. “No he- he wasn’t in Lenora. He, he was…” Will stopped talking, his eyes falling back down to the ground and staying there.
“Wait so if he wasn’t from Lenora…was he—“
“I really don’t want to talk about him. Just- anything but him.”
Mike sighed softly.
“Sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t want to make you upset.”
Will looked back up, eyes gentle and smile soft as he spoke again.
“No, no, you didn’t. It’s just…”
“Hard to talk about?”
“Yeah.”
Eventually they started walking again, pace still slow. Now they were far behind the rest of the group, making their way through Hawkins lab. It was silent for a long time, the only sound Will could hear was his own heart loudly beating.
“Will?” Mike asked, still walking and looking down at his moving feet.
“Yeah?”
“I think…” He stopped abruptly, his sneaker squeaking against the tiled floors as he halted. Will stopped with him, turning to look at Mike. He was shaking. His lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes glossy as he looked further off to the side.
“Is everything okay?” Will asked carefully, taking a small step forward. Mike was trembling, drawing his hands together to pick at a hangnail. “What is it?”
“I think I’m…” His words trailed off again, full tears now welling up in his eyes, just barely hanging onto his lower lashes.
“Mike…” Will stepped closer, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’re scaring me. Is it- are you okay? Are you hurt…are you scared? It’s okay, I’m- I’m scared too—“
“I think I’m like you,” Mike blurted out, his tears finally falling down his cheeks. He gasped immediately after the words left his mouth, eyes widening and mouth trembling as he stared off into the distance. His gaze was unfocused, but his fear was clear.
“Like…like me?”
Mike nodded, his lips pressing together and quivering. He closed his eyes tight, inhaling a shaky breath.
“I um- I think that’s why I could never tell El I loved her.”
Will’s mind was once more, going blank. Or more likely, it was getting so full that he couldn’t think. White noise played on loop in his ears as his mind flashed images into his head. Mike and El. Mike and El holding hands. Mike and El kissing. Mike and El giggling off on their own, away from everyone. Away from Will. Mike and El, and all the letters that El had shown him. Letters from Mike…letters From, Mike.
“Oh,” Will said simply, his hand still resting on Mike’s shoulder. “Oh! Oh- oh Mike.” He drew him closer by his shoulder, enveloping him in a hug. Mike shook under his arms, wrapping his arms back around Will. Hot tears stained the shoulder of his jacket.
“There’s- there’s someone that I love too and it’s—“ Mike sobbed harder, burying his face further into Will. “It’s not her. It was- it was never—“ His words were cut off by his aggressive cries, his nails digging into Will’s shoulders as he held him tight. “It was never her. It couldn’t be, because it was always…”
Mike lifted his head up. His eyes were red as tears fell down his cheeks. He sniffed, searching Will’s eyes. Something so soft, and so scared, living behind them.
“I was always…just like you,” He whispered, looking away and burying his face into Will’s shoulder once more, like he couldn’t face what he was saying.
“It was always just us.” His crying slowed, but he didn’t stop shaking. “Of course there was Lucas and Dustin, but it- it was always different with them from with you. I was always…different with you.”
Will held him tighter, rubbing his hand up and down his back. He moved his pointer finger in circles along his spine, trying to soothe him from his panic.
“Mike, it’s…it’s okay. You don’t have to say it—“
“I love you,” Mike blurted out. He pulled away quickly, his hands balling into shaky fists by his sides. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, tears falling down his face once more. “I’m in love with you. I think that maybe I have been for a really long time.”
Now he was staring Will right in his eyes, even as he cried.
“And I’ve- I’ve tried—“ He swallows harshly. “Fuck, I’ve tried so hard to push it down, and do what I was supposed to, and love El, and just be- just be fucking happy loving her.” He took a step closer to Will, taking a deep breath. Breathing like he was preparing himself for war.
“But I couldn’t. And I can’t. Because how- how could I not love you?”
Something hot fell down Will’s face, and—oh. Now he was the one crying. Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks as he helplessly smiled. A sad sort of smile, because he could feel everything Mike felt. Maybe he always had been able to. Four years ago, he had went missing, and they were both terrified. Three years ago, he was possessed, and they were both trying to fight to get back to each other. Two years ago, they were then fighting each other, because they were so scared of themselves. Of what was real. And one year ago, they were trying to get back to each other, to what they once had. But they were so far, and still so scared. Always scared, but now, Will was realizing, they were scared together. Always together. Will had gone crazy trying to fight his feelings for Mike, but they really had gone crazy together.
“You…you love me,” Will repeated. Not as a question, but as a statement. As a fact. You love me, Mike loves Will. Like it was just another thing he was memorizing in science class.
There are so many natural laws in the world. Such as that mass cannot be created or destroyed, and that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and that Mike loves Will.
“I thought for so long that I was wrong for being this way. Just like everyone has always said. But…but then you told me that, that you were the same way. And…how could any way that I am be wrong when you’re the same way? It just doesn’t work. It- it doesn’t because you’re you, and you’re so amazing.”
“I’m amazing?” Will repeats, and this time, it is a question. His lips quiver as he tears up again, not truly believing anything that’s going on at the moment. After all, he’d spent years trying to accept that Mike would never feel the same way. Yet here he was, feeling the same way.
“I think you’re perfect,” Mike whispered, focused and sure as ever. Now Will began to cry, tears ran down his face and he curled into himself, but he was laughing at the same time. Now it was Mike who took him into his arms.
“I love you too,” Will whispered as his tears slowed down. Breathing deeply, feeling Mike’s arms rise and fall with his chest. He listened carefully as Mike gasped quietly, his arms now fully wrapping around Will’s neck as they clung together. His palms pressed against Will’s neck as he pulled back slightly, only enough so he could look at his face. Their noses brushed as Mike pressed their foreheads together. Will breathed deeply and slowly, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Will?”
“Mhm?”
“Can I kiss you?”
Will’s eyes shot open, his face quickly heating up. Now Mike’s cool hands felt burning against his neck, every point their skin melt was like fire. Will laughed. Not because it was funny, but out of relief. Out of hope. Maybe a bit out of insanity.
“Yes!” He said breathlessly through his soft laughs. Mike’s hands made their way upwards to cup his face, thumbs softly caressing the moles that decorated his cheeks. His brown eyes fluttered down to Will’s lips, eyelashes thick as his eyelids lowered. And it was so slow. It was slow and careful as he leaned in. Tentative, when their lips finally met. Almost just a brush, barely anything more.
Mike pulled back slowly, still so close that Will could feel his warm breath leaving his mouth.
“Is this okay?” He asked, his voice low and a little bit raspy. Will nodded, a wordless but sure yes. His eyes were low as he looked over Mike’s face, fluttering shut when their lips met once more. And, oh, it was so much more. Now the kiss wasn’t light, it was deep and steady. Like Mike was prepared, like he knew what he wanted and was going for it.
Will’s hands lightly made their way to Mike’s sides, unsure of where to go, what to do. What was too much? Where was the line? What was the protocol?
Mike was wearing an army green puffer vest, and Will carefully wormed his fingers under it to press against Mike’s gray shirt. He settled his hands there, fingers feeling his ribs poking out from under the fabric.
He wanted more, he was still scared of how badly he wanted more. To be more sure, to know what he was doing. To be ready the way Mike seemed to be. How much had he thought about doing this before?
Will broke away for a moment, taking a breath, before he carefully leaned in. For the more that he was wanting. His lips opened further, Mike immediately matching him as he brushed his thumb along Will’s face. Will pressed his hands further onto Mike’s sides, almost grabbing hold of him the way Mike was.
Eventually—after what felt like so long, and not nearly long enough—they broke apart. Both breathing heavily, trying to catch their breaths as they held each other close. Mike let out a laugh that was closer to an exhale than anything. His lips curving at the corners to form a smile.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” He murmured, leaning his head down to rest in the crook of Will’s neck once more. His hands found their way to Will’s arms, resting at his biceps. His fingers twitched like he was squeezing his arms.
“Me too,” Will confessed, still holding onto Mike’s sides as he leaned his head to the side, resting against Mike’s temples. His breath was still warm, hot against Will’s skin in the freezing cold of the upside down.
“This doesn’t feel real,” He whispers, finger tracing circles on Will’s bicep. “I hope it is.”
Will let out another laugh, arms now wrapping around Mike’s torso.
“God, I hope so too.”
They peeled themselves apart, Mike dragging his hands down Will’s arms to rest in his hands. They both turned to look ahead of them. Spores dancing in the air like snowflakes, the dark shadows hitting harsh against the hallway walls.
“We really should catch up with the rest of the group,” Will says, though right now, he’d rather do the exact opposite more than anything.
“Yeah,” Mike agrees, squeezing his hands. “After all, we have a war to go win.” He turns to look at Will, a cheeky grin decorating his lips. His lips that are now red and swollen, and looking so different from usual, and so beautiful. Will wants to draw him looking like this, eyes gleaming and smile warm.
“We do, don’t we?”
They turn to stand side by side, keeping their hands locked tightly together as they make their way through Hawkins lab. They walk for only a few minutes before Mike is speaking up again.
"When this is all over, can we...can we date? Like, really date?"
Will smiles softly at the thought.
"It'll be hard," He says truthfully. "We'll have to hide it from most people."
"I really think its harder not to," Mike says, his grin cocky, but his words true. Will looks at him as they walk, hands held tightly together.
"Yeah. Yeah, lets do it."
Mike's smile brightens more than Will has ever seen it.
"Good, because after this, I swear to god I'm taking you on a proper date!" Will laughs, leaning over to bump Mike's shoulder with his.
They continue to walk through the halls and up flights and flights of stairs, all towards their potential doom. But all Will can think about is Mike’s hand in his.