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~<>~
All the scars and pain you left far behind have all now…
Turned into this person we love with all our heart
So may all that grief and atoning for all you’ve done,
Dress it up, decorate, make your heart full too.
So that when you embrace the “now”, it’ll soon…
… seem kind of pretty.
~<>~
Scott didn’t flinch when Martyn’s sword came crashing down on him. Didn’t bat an eye when Gem turned over and attacked him instead of targeting Jimmy. He was a big player in these games anyways, Gem and Martyn were smart enough to realize he needed to go. And, well, conveniently enough, he’s only ever defeated with multiple people targeting him or being caught off guard. Funny how that’s always the case, wasn’t it?
He landed on the ground with a painful thud, his bones snapping before he could bucket clutch his way out of trouble again, causing him to go out first out of the five last remaining players. He shrugged, slipping into the glowy, astral spectator form he was so familiar with. The Stars had always welcomed one of their own back. They always will. He won’t be abandoned by them at least.
Scott let himself float over to where the Square Hole is, passing by the other ghosts also watching the ending. He had an urge to go hug it out with Cabincore, seeing as they’re all probably waiting for him (he needs to find a way to apologize to Scar for that TNT), but he was way more intrigued with the final battle to leave now.
Jimmy went out next, seeing as Gem had decided to go all out on the canary avian finally. Scott was still pretty impressed with how far he’d gotten this time around. He made a mental note to go congratulate him later. He’s in the off-world with Tango now, seeing as Scott couldn’t find him in the crowd of ghosts.
Gem, surprisingly, went out soon after, with Grian turning his back on her. Scott wasn’t as surprised by the backstabbing as he would’ve thought - that’s just how things had always went with these series. Grian was gonna kill one of his allies somehow, and if Pearl wasn’t enough, well, this sure will solidify that. Which now leaves it to Grian… and Martyn.
Martyn had clutched up after Gem knocked him down, managing the bucket clutch Scott couldn’t do for himself, and was now alone with Grian. Scott smirked despite himself; Grian has been having the second place streak. Seemed like an entirely new curse on its own for what he could see, he’d probably have to ask the parrot avian about it later. And even if the rumor wasn’t true, Grian wasn’t as strong of a PvPer as Martyn. Unless he had some hidden trump card up his sleeve, he wasn’t winning this final fight.
Scott grinned wide. Finally - finally! Someone was gonna join in him the Two-Times Winners club! He’d been waiting for 4 months! Ever since Simple Life ended with another smaller star floating above his head, blending slightly in the crystals that seemed to shift with his emotions, he’d been lounging around in the little room across from the Winners’s Lounge for Two-Time Winners. Of course, he didn’t spend all his time there - there was no point in spending time there when he was completely alone and no one could come through - but occasionally, when his social battery decided to dip, he’d hang around there. It was quiet and serene, a perfect little waiting room for whenever the eventual second Two-Time Winner would show up.
Scott can’t wait to welcome Martyn in.
He watched with giddy anticipation as the two - the Watcher and the Listener, how poetic - fought like blades in a storm. They were both trying their absolute best, swords clashing against each others’s shields and slicing into each other quicker than Scott could blink. Cleo was lingering right behind him, looking completely unbothered by the fight but gripping onto Scott’s left hand like he’d calm her down from the fight. He didn’t turn to look at her more though, he was completely distracted by the fight.
A huge grin slipped on his face as Martyn landed the finishing blow, everyone cheering and shouting praises (most passionately being Cleo) but Martyn couldn’t hear any of them. He was bloodied, panting, heaving for desperate heaps of air he seemed to have lost during the fight. Above him, the silhouette of Grian - a glowing purple form, complete with eyes everywhere and purple feathers falling around him, is much more person looking than all the floaty ghosts everywhere - slams into Gem with rushed apologies and choked laughter as she scolds and berates him for the whole thing. Scott spared them a single glance, before he floated down to where Martyn was climbing up.
Would you look at that? That’s his friend. One of his Divorce Quartet. His Mean Gill. His partner in crime. His murderer. His mirror. His.
And there he was, in all his Red Lifer glory, which much less villain speech now and much more fumbling surprised energy than Scott was used to, but he’d won. This was the second time he’d won, just like Scott.
Parallels, they both are. Scott should really look into that someday.
Scott landed right behind Martyn, his astral-y form much more visible to the other ghosts, but it seemed like no one paid much attention to him. It was just him, standing next to his Mean Gill. How poetic it all was.
A part of Scott was just a tad bit jealous that Martyn never betrayed Cleo the same way Martyn betrayed him. But he couldn’t hold onto that hurt for too long - Cleo is Scott’s best friend. He couldn’t be jealous at her even if he tried. Those two deserved the win, especially after their whole fiasco in Double Life. Scott was glad the two maintained such a strong alliance despite everything; it was definitely a shock when he saw them teaming up at the start, one that he and Pearl joked about for days after Past Life started. He’s proud of how far they’ve all gotten ever since Double Life. A few wins could do that to them, huh.
Scott lingered around Martyn a bit longer, watching with a stupidly fond little smile as the other monologued to himself, creeping on the edge of the Square Hole, then leaping down it in a blaze of glory, concluding Past Life. In an instant, Scott’s vision creeped into darkness despite him being sure his eyes are open, his regular Player form materializing before he could blink, the crystals around his head sinking down and slamming itself against him. This was the part where they all aimlessly float in the Void, he suppose, waiting until the Watchers shift their Gaze away from all of them and until Grian locates everyone to yank them back into the recovery off-world. Scott was fairly certain that the whole Void floating thing was just another desperate attempt at sucking out more fear from everyone. Though, Scott had been floating in the stars for all his life anyways, so falling doesn’t scare him just as much as it should have.
Being the Watchers’s least favorite is a crown he wore with even more pride than his Last Life crown.
With a familiar ‘pop!’, everyone in the finales blinked into the off-world, with Grian standing front and center in the circle. He glanced at everyone, probably doing a mental head count with Watcher powers still flickering faintly in between his fingertips. After a brief moment, he sighed and went over to Scar, probably to wail about his second place again. Scott quietly followed along for a bit, just to chat with his Cabincore people sitting by the campfire.
Etho’s eyes found Scott’s instantly, and they brightened just a tiny bit when Scott waved at him. Bdubs waved him over with a wide grin, all while Scar blinked softly and tried to give a genuine smile. Probably a bit upset about the TNT, Scott thought. He fidgeted with his sleeve before he went over to them.
Grian leaned against Scar, with the latter’s expression melting into a soft, fond smile as the avian draped his wings over him like a lazy birdie. Scott picked up a flower on the way to hand to Scar as an apology. He made sure not to pick anything yellow that could remind him of sunflowers.
“Eyy! Hi Scott!” Bdubs grinned, moving over and patting the spot next to him, “Fifth place huh? I was really hoping you’d bring it home for Cabincore, but hey! Fifth’s great!”
“Thanks. I usually aim for higher though.” Scott smirked, earning an eye-roll from Bdubs before planting himself next to him, right across from Scar. He held out the makeshift bouquet of lilies with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for the TNT kill.”
Scar blinked slowly at him, like he’s just processing what’s going on, before wiggling his hands out of Grian’s wings and accepting the flowers with a cheesy smile.
“Aww, Scott!” A healthy blush spread across his face, giddy little laughs and all, “You know I could never hold a grudge against a Cabin boy!”
“Yeah,” Scott smiled, a soft little thing that somehow still existed after all the bloodshed, “But I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to apologize to you.”
Scar grinned cheekily, his hand gently rubbing the petals of the flowers as Bdubs launched into after-series conversations. Scott easily rested his chin on his palm, crossing his leg over the other as he listened to his teammates talk about their favorite moments of the season, asking Grian if they could build a hot tub in the off-world as well. Grian seemed to be pretty sleepy - as he always is after these games, teleporting multiple souls at once can get exhausting, no matter how powerful you are. And Grian’s not used to using magic as much anyways - he shouldn’t even be sending everyone to an off-world - but was still very responsive to all the questions.
‘Sentimental idiot.’ Scott smiled at the Watcher as he blinks softly, almost like he didn’t even hear what they were talking about, Scar quietly nudging him back to soft wonderland, ‘Always looking out even when it costed you’
Scott’s attention drifted quickly from his team and their shenanigans though as a floaty blessing star nestled in his palms, shoving itself weakly against his hands and sinking down to a dull light. Scott smiled, gently tracing a thumb over it as his mind flashed back to the past. Every season, he specifically grants someone this little wishing star; and more often than not, that person’d end up winning the game. The only two exceptions so far has been, well, Scott himself, and Scar in Secret Life. He distinctly remembers having sunken the star’s energy into Gem at the very start, but Gem’d fallen into 3rd place in the final battle anyways.
Scott tries not to think about the sheer agony it had been just trying to push the blessing back to Gem, only to crumble to his knees in utter gutted-out exhaustion afterwards.
Ever since then though, he hasn’t really ‘chosen’ anyone to win, just let the star do its thing and float anywhere it desires. Bright and free little night stars shouldn’t be weighed down by rules or demands - he himself hates rules anyways - so it was only right he let the star go wherever it wants in the future. He’d just know who was chosen when the star floats there - so it isn’t fair, but the star usually chooses at the end anyways, so he’d just know what the ending would look like, not change it.
Scott had usually sent the star as a last ditch effort multiple times in the past, when he was desperate and ‘winning fair’ didn’t cross his mind. He doesn’t even remember the first time that well anyways - he just remembers sprinting through the forest in Third Life, throwing one of his stars into where the Desert was and hoping it’d guide the way for the Desert Duo. He didn’t realize he’d thrown his blessing star, one of the most attachment-filled of the stars that won’t leave after it’d already gotten attached to these worlds.
It blessed him next, go figure, when he didn’t throw it to anyone in Last Life. He’d thrown it to Pearl accidentally when Martyn turned on the Divorce Quartet, and he’d thrown it since he’d started having feelings first dropped down to yellow in Limited Life.
The blessing got easy. It felt like control of the situation. He could manipulate the odds to whatever he wanted, whoever he needed. He needs to be careful with that in the future though. He could’ve gotten caught so much easier with his ability had he not been a bit more cautious with his timing.
He doesn’t need The Watchers to have more reasons to hate him. They’d already made an example of what They could do to his stars if They’d so pleased.
Scott shook his head as a familiar pop of blond hair appeared in the off-world, spinning almost dizzily, regaining their bearings again after being pulled into this world. A stupidly wide smile spread across his face as the other looked around, making his way over to Cleo and chatting with them. Cleo grinned, proud definitely, and said something that mouthed the word ‘soulmates’. Huh, guess they’re talking about that time again, when they were all much more young and bold with whatever. It felt nice though, those first few days of not knowing the limits that were placed on them, even if he swore not to make a mistake like that with Pearl ever again.
Before Scott could pull his gaze back to Cabincore though, Martyn turned on his heels, and walked towards him.
“Hey,” the blond greeted with a light wave, strangely awkward and out-of-place considering his usual style of talking. It was almost like… like he was shy about it, “Can we talk?”
Scott blinked. “Of course,” he got up from the log he was sharing with Bdubs, passing a quick glance at everyone to gesture that he was leaving, before turning back, “What’s up?”
“Walk with me for a bit? I wanted to talk to you about something a little less public, if you get what I’m saying.”
“I don’t, but sure.”
That earned him a soft chuckle from the other, and the two started aimlessly wandering towards nowhere. They were silent for the start of it, which is kinda silly, considering they were walking to talk after all, but neither said a word. They just kept trekking forward, occasionally parting from each other, before ultimately returning next to each other again like gravity. Absently, Scott thought about how this mirrors them in general, the way they melted into each others’ orbit, splitting apart a little only to slide back in again. It’s been a while since they got to do this so casually, without a hint of tension or need to speed things up. They could just be them again, facing the world together shoulder-to-shoulder, the past left behind like embers that no longer burst into flames.
Eventually, Martyn turned over to Scott.
“You know, I think it’s about time we talked about us,” He said, blue eyes shining with golden hues from the sunset beside them, “about our relationship and such.”
“Yeah?” Scott felt his heart start to thump harder in his chest at the implications, but he schooled his expression into that of unbothered calm, “What about us do you want to talk about?”
“Well, first of all, I think we should stop pretending we don’t want each other.”
Scott’s eyes widened, one leg instinctively stepping back like it’s trying to save Scott from confronting his heart. Of course he wanted Martyn; he’s been yearning since the end of Limited Life, still watching the waves with a distant pang of longing, and it did not help at all when they were enemies in Wild Life. It felt like watching his only anchor to the world drop into an ocean he couldn’t dive down to, and he was left stranded on an empty boat that wasn’t his in the first place. He missed them. God he missed everything they had together, like it’s a sense of euphoria that he’d been chasing for all his life and will eternally continue to chase again.
Martyn didn’t move his eyes away though, staring right into Scott’s own lighter blue eyes as he clenched a fistful of his shirt.
“Look, I get that we’ve had rough moments since the very beginning of this. Void, I hunted you down through a forest after all.” He recalled, running a hand through his golden blond locks, “And pummeled you with allegations after that first time we did one of these games.”
Scott remembered that. He remembered it so well, the way everyone was suddenly in another new world, one too small to sustain for a long time, barely having the chance to get a grip on his bearings before a finger pressed itself at his chest roughly, a spew of demands and questions pouring out the near-stranger about a certain glowing star he sent to the Desert. Conveniently, Grian won that game, and Martyn had many thoughts about the logistics of it all. Not about whether Scott was cheating or not - no one cares about playing fair in death games - it was all about if Scott had any connections to the Watchers or not to be clearly influencing Their games. It felt personal, like a wound Martyn hadn’t quite healed from, lashing out at anything even remotely tied to the pain, and Scott hadn’t even known a thing about Them in the first place.
But now, looking back on it, it’s so much smaller than what they had become, small enough to just be a figment of the past and not a wound to his chest.
“It’s no worries, really.” Scott quickly injected, head tilting like he’s amused Martyn’s that concerned in the first place, “I think all of you deserved to lash out a little. I know what happened to your server.”
“Yeah, but it was unfair to you, so I should mention it anyways.” Martyn replied, finally tearing his gaze away from Scott like all the confidence zapped out of him in an instant, “And, about the Limited Life betrayal.”
Scott felt his heart dip a tiny bit, already knowing this conversation was about to turn sour.
“It’s okay,” he heard himself say, almost like he wanted it to be established before anything else happens, “I’m not mad. I’m glad it was you, I promise.”
“You always say that.” Martyn frowned, eyes squinting as the sun slowly dips beside them, as if he’s trying to look through Scott’s soul itself. “You always say that you’re not bothered by any of the backstabbing and such because it was necessary, but I know you can’t be that at peace with it. Betrayal hurts, and I’m not about to let you bottle up all those feelings for them to rot inside you.”
Scott clutched his bottle pendant in slight irritation, the irony not lost on him about bottles and victories. “I’m fine, Martyn. I wanted you to win anyways. Wouldn’t have gave you the star for nothing, would I?”
“No, but that’s not the point. You wanted me to win, but you didn’t want me betraying you, did you?”
Scott frowned, frustration starting to burn away at the blissful happiness from earlier. Why can’t he just grasp that concept? Scott’s not mad if Martyn backstabs him. He’s here, isn’t he? “But look! In the end, you won. That’s the only thing that really matters to me anyways.”
“Scott, you can’t just— you have this thing where you brush off big events and hope they don’t exist. What I’m trying to say here is—”
“I’m scared, alright!”
The area went dead silent, the sun finally shining its last rays upon the waking world before the moon started to rise. All that’s left now was Scott clutching his pendant tighter, eyes burning akin to grief and fear lashing out all at once. Oh this was supposed to be just a normal conversation…. The others are gonna be so worried when these two hadn’t come back yet….
“Look, I’m scared of losing people alright? I don’t— I don’t want to be alone again. I don’t want to wake up knowing that I lost someone else— It’s miserable being alone, okay? I just… I can’t— I can’t do it again. If I make it seem like a big deal, like I’m mad, you’ll leave me. I— I just—”
“Oh Scott…”
“Don’t ‘oh Scott’ me!”
“I’m not like…” Martyn scratches his head, almost like he was trying to find the right words. Almost like Scott was fragile. “Upset if you’re mad. It’s fine. I- Oh wow, I’m the one reassuring you now, huh.”
“No- it’s fine.” Scott shook his head, “I’m okay with betrayal. I’m not okay with being alone.”
“You’re not alone, and you’ll never be again. In uh- the least weird way possible, you’ll never be alone, okay?”
“But you’ll leave and— and I’ll be— I’ll have to start all over from scratch again and— can we just stop talking about this?”
Scott hates it. Hates the way his usual charisma seemed to have packed up and left the building. Hates the way he feels like he’s been shoved in the passenger seat as his emotions slams on the wheels ahead of him. Hates the way his voice trembles and the way he can’t form any thought other than oh god please don’t leave—
But Martyn’s looking at him again, his eyes sad and more emotional than Scott’s seen in a while. And Scott - god save him - thinks back to the island, the way Martyn’s eyes were this striking shade of ruby red that made Scott’s heart pound in his chest. He’d been chasing that thrill again after Jimmy didn’t say ‘I love you’ back, and Martyn seemed to be the perfect guy who wouldn’t question why Scott’s fluttering around him so often. He just seemed like the guy who wouldn’t feel as much, someone who wouldn’t let his heart dance ahead of his mind and especially never let it cloud his chances of winning. He didn’t realize Martyn cared, not in that way at least.
Something deep and aching blossomed in Scott’s chest, and he did everything in his power to shove it down.
Meanwhile, Martyn, again, ran a hand through his hair. “Look, the point is that I’m sorry. I didn’t— okay no, I wanted to win, but I didn’t want to do it like that. I know how much honor and fairness means to you, and I’m sorry for ripping that away from you.
The tension was still there, thick and heavy in the air like an open wound neither of them knew how to bandage properly. Still, Scott smiled, happy to just get the topic over and done with. “Yeah, it’s okay. We’re past it now.”
Then, Martyn breathed a deep, shuddering sigh.
“Okay, can I do something? Feel free to like, I don’t know, punch me in the gut, okay?”
That meant nothing… until Martyn started moving closer.
Scott’s heart thundered in his chest.
Within an instant, they were mere inches apart, staring at each other while the stars hung above them. Distantly, Scott wondered if his siblings were up there, if they were laughing at him as he was getting absolutely ruined by some guy in a recovery world post-death game. But even if they could see him, they’d understand. This is not just ‘some guy’ if he has this effect on Scott, right?
Right before anything could happen though, Martyn was hovering over Scott, eyes searching for any kind of resistance within the other’s posture. His eyebrows raised once, like an unspoken ‘You okay?’ before he took it further, and Scott felt his face heat up from how fast he nodded. Then, Martyn smirked and pulled him in for a kiss.
And god it felt so good.
Suddenly, it was Scott leaning in deeper, trying to take everything he could before they were separated. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever felt before — yes, he’d kissed Jimmy before, but that felt different. Desperate, like the world was gonna force them apart and rip them to shreds if they didn’t do it now. This felt just right, with nothing watching overhead, nothing waiting for them to finish, nothing pulling them apart. It was just them and this moment right here, in this vast valley underneath the glowing lights above.
Then, they pulled apart, and for a second Scott almost leaned forward to chase that rush once again, just barely catching himself back and letting himself breathe. Martyn laughed, smug grin turning into something devastatingly soft and gentle, almost like this was the real Martyn that wasn’t just doing things for shits and giggles. Like this was the person who the effortless mask was shielding — just a guy who’s trying his best and still trying his best.
“So. Uh… I’m gonna take that as you liking it?”
Scott laughed, breathless and a little hysteric, but a laugh all the same, “Yes, you absolute idiot, I loved it.”
Martyn grinned, something equally feral in his eyes as the moon positioned itself right behind him like a tiny halo. “So let’s stop beating around the bush now, yeah? You, me, together?”
“Yeah. You, me, together. Always this time.”
And well, if they kissed one more time just to take in everything from each other, crashing into each other like comets exploding into one another, that’s for them and the stars hanging above to know.
~<>~
Yearning for you, how I love you, and the song of this night too.
Someday, I wonder if these will find the person I love and reach into their heart
I wonder if one day I’ll love and let you properly into my heart.
I wonder if one day I can save you, like I had wanted from the start…
Will the passion of 25 o’clock forever be burned into my heart?