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Lance knocks on Keith’s door at precisely 7:58 PM, ready to knock the other boy’s socks off.
He places a rose in his mouth, tilts his eyebrows in what he believes to be a sexy fashion, and leans against the door jamb, arms crossed, smolder in place.
He’s certain everything’s going to be perfect.
Everything is not perfect.
Keith opens the door at 7:59 and then promptly tries to slam it shut again because no.
“Keith!” Lance whines, his entire body pushing against the door Keith is so determinately trying to shove closed, “You wanted me to give you some cheesy romance!”
“Not like this!” The other boy replies, slowly edging the door closed, his upper body more toned than Lance’s.
Lance lets out a high pitched whine and then through some (inhuman, in Keith’s opinion) burst of strength he manages to squeeze himself through the door way and tumble into Keith’s foyer.
Keith looks down at him, unamused, like he’s some sort of disgusting bug and not, in fact, a very handsome man.
“Hey!” Lance protests when he gets a good look at Keith, “You didn’t put your hair up in a ponytail.”
Lance pouts as if he’s five years old and Keith has just stolen his favorite toy.
Keith brings a hand up to his hair, honestly he’d forgotten. Shiro had come back into the room and told Keith it was very flattering that Keith thought Shiro was the best sex he’d ever had.
It had taken half an hour for the mortification to lessen enough for him to even think about functioning like a regular human being-but he isn’t about to tell Lance that.
No, instead he reaches for any and every excuse he can latch on to, “You told me to look decent! And that we had a reservation! I thought it looked nicer when it was down!”
Lance grumbles, “I also told you to put it up.”
Keith merely rolls his eyes, “Aren’t we going to be late?” He hopes changing the topic will get Lance to forget about his hair.
It works.
“And whose fault is that!”
“Yours! You were the one who was doing-what was that anyway?”
“We’ve been through this! I was trying to give you the cheesy romantic date you deserve!”
Keith just lets out an over-exaggerated groan and they both know that he really did enjoy it, despite his theatrics.
“Let’s just go,” Keith says, grabbing his wallet and keys. He hates being late. He’s always at least five minutes early to everything.
It’s actually why Lance had shown up early.
Alright, granted he didn’t show up as early as he’d originally planned but in his defense going anywhere while using public transportation would make you late, even if you plan buffer time. He has no idea how Keith manages to get to places early.
Lance seems to take pity on Keith’s soul because he lets him in on his secret, “We’re not going to be late by the way, it’s not fancy or anything. It’s nice. Homey. I just said it because otherwise you’d show up in last night’s jeans and your disgusting motorcycle jacket. Plus,” he pauses to give Keith what he probably thinks is a smoldering look, “I thought it added a nice romantic touch.”
“Hey!” Keith protests blushing and trying to sputter. But, well, Lance is not wrong.
Except about the jacket.
“That jacket is vintage.”
Lance snorts, “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Keith rolls his eyes as he reaches down to pull Lance up from the floor, where he looks surprisingly comfortable, and turns his attention to his pockets, looking for his cellphone. He can see Lance give him a cheeky grin out of the corner of his eye as he pulls him up, no doubt enjoying riling Keith up.
He doesn’t notice the fact that Lance left the rose in his hand until he’s on the other side of the door trying to lock it while Lance shifts around impatiently.
Needless to say, Keith blushes.
Hard.
“When did-how did you?”
Lance, no longer shifting, just grins at Keith and sends him a wink.
A. Wink.
If possible, Keith’s blush intensifies.
“How are you this smooth?” Exasperation and disbelief saturate the question because Keith cannot believe this is his life.
He also can’t believe that he’s actually loving these moves.
In all honestly Keith thought Lance would be a bit dorky but that their date would go like how things usually went when they were hanging out. Lots of arguing. Lance being stupid. Keith wanting to punch him out. But with the added bonus of kissing. And holding hands. And stuff. Yeah.
He never expected Lance to be this, well, smooth.
Lance just grins wider in response to Keith’s question, grabs his hand, and yanks him down the hallway, “Come on, I’m hungry.”
Lance pulls him down the street and in less than ten minutes they’re outside of a restaurant Keith didn’t even know existed despite its close proximity to his apartment. Amazing scents are wafting through the air and Keith is honestly baffled on how he has never even heard of this place before.
When he tells Lance, the boy is affronted.
“This place is great! I come here for dinner whenever my parents are in town. I’d probably come here more often if I lived where you did but living half an hour away from the only restaurant worth my time usually equals McDonald’s.”
And because it’s Lance he throws in, “Plus, you know, if you went out more maybe you’d know about it.”
“I go out!” Keith protests as they head in and are directed to a table, “It’s hard to be social when you’re double majoring!”
Lance just makes those fake agreement noises as they settle in.
The restaurant’s got a quaint, homey, atmosphere and Keith already knows he’ll be coming back. Maybe even on another date with Lance.
He’d like that.
Lance pulls out Keith’s seat for him and shoots him a sweet grin when Keith blushes slightly and thanks him, “No problem!” He replies with an easy smile.
Keith doesn’t see it coming.
In hindsight, he really, really, should have.
A moment after he takes his seat, Lance calls out to him, getting his attention, “Hey, Keith?” Lance’s face looks worried, concern etching his features.
“Yeah?” Keith responds, tilting his head back to look at Lance who is still standing over him, now getting slightly worried as well.
“Did you sit in a pile of sugar?”
“Wha-I-No?” The question doesn’t make sense but Keith’s already halfway off of his seat, instinct driving him to look before Lance concludes with, “Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”
It takes exactly three seconds for the pick up line to hit home. Lance knows exactly when it happens because that’s how long it takes him to go around the table to his seat.
He just manages to sit his own sweet ass down when Keith blushes a deep red that Lance didn’t even think was possible.
Keith tries to respond. He really does. But all he gets out is a, “Who-Did ju-I-Wha-” before giving up and deciding to pretend like the whole thing didn’t just happen.
Lance meanwhile is practically vibrating in his seat.
Sure they didn’t get off to the best start and Keith didn’t run into his arms when he saw how sexy Lance looked with a rose in his mouth but he did just turn to mush at the pick up line so Lance knows dinner’s going to be amazing.
He can already tell Keith likes it here.
And dinner is amazing.
For the first five minutes, anyway.
Six minutes into their date, Lance asks Keith, “Is it hot in here or is it just you?” Before realizing it’s actually him because he managed to set his sleeve on fire while reaching for a breadstick (and upon coming to this realization) he trips over the chair in response to his emergency while Keith is trying to pour his glass of water on Lance’s arm, only to miss and splash it everywhere but on the sleeve.
“Keith!” Lance screams, protesting the impromptu bath, his arm thrust away from him, eyes wide and begging for help.
Keith, meanwhile, is also panicking. He has no idea what to do but call back helplessly, “Lance!”
Some kid is chanting “Stop, drop, and roll!”
It’s literally the only viable option at this point and as Lance quite literally stops, drops, and rolls, Keith wonders why the two of them didn’t think about it.
He buys the kid ice cream in thanks and the dirty look the mother gives him is totally worth it for the toothy grin the kid responds with when Keith tells him he should be a firefighter when he grows up.
Luckily for the pair, they’re reassured that, “This is not the first time it’s happened at the restaurant and it probably won’t be the last.”
At this point Keith is wondering about health code violations and suggests that they go home, concerned that Lance will catch a cold in his wet outfit and maybe he wants to take Lance out of his outfit and do dirty things to him because despite the fact that Keith’s stronger than Lance, Lance also works out and right now his white button-down is doing wonders for Keith’s dick-but Lance protests this, determined to make the date amazing.
“Besides they’re offering us dinner on the house. That’s free food, Keith, you don’t just turn that down.”
Still, Keith continues to glance over at Lance worriedly until Lance says (his attention completely on the menu in front of him until the last possible second), “You’d better direct that beauty somewhere else, or I’ll end up back on fire.”
Keith just gives Lance a flat look, “That one wasn’t even good.”
“Well,” Lance begins, nonchalantly, “A few did run through my mind while I was on fire but I was, you know, too busy freaking out to really use any of them.”
“Only you would be thinking of pick up lines while literally on fire.”
Lance flashes a pearly white grin, “Do you wanna hear them?”
And because he looks so excited, Keith relents.
“Okay so here they are;” He says and starts listing, barely taking a breath, “I hope there’s a fire truck nearby because you are smokin’, are you a campfire because you are hot and I want s’more-”
“Lance,” Keith interrupts, “Are you trying to pick yourself up?”
Lance pauses for a moment, opens his mouth, closes it, and finally replies with a whispered, “Fuck.”
Keith snickers.
Lance moans.
“I obviously did not think this through.”
Keith picks up a breadstick, examines it, takes a bite out of it, and then looks back up at Lance, “No you obviously did not.”
“Fuck,” he whispers again.
“But,” Keith continues, “I will forgive you and overlook these because you were on fire at the time.”
“All mighty Keith, I thank you for your humble act of generosity, I can only hope I can repay this generosity one day.”
For some reason-perhaps it’s the adrenaline-this sends the two boys into hysterics and their date gets set back on track.
It goes smoother from there, for like, the next 2 minutes and then Allura and Shiro of all people walk in.
And then their date is pretty much forgotten.
Lance and Keith share identical shocked faces and then Lance whispers, “Do you think Peeling Space Daddy’s Banana is a go?”
Keith is already pulling up the group chat on his phone and checking it, “Allura didn’t say anything?”
He types out a quick message and then they wait.
Group Chat: Peeling Space Daddy’s Banana
Billy Ray: wait is the mission a go?
Pidgeotto: What do you mean????
Zenon: HOLD THE PHONE WHY IS YOUR NAME PIDGEOTTO NOW
Heathcliff: O! I knw the answer 2 this!!! space daddy saw pidgey ovr mission control’s shouldr nd told mc it was a cute nickname 4 pidge so now pidge is pidgey and also pidgeotto bc their covers blown
Zenon: THS IS STILL A VERY REVEALING CODE NAME
Pidgeotto: That’s what I said! But MC refused to change it for “sentimental” reasons.
Heathcliff: I like it
Billy Ray: you have zero authority on code names yours is the 2nd best one. how did you even manage that?
Heathcliff: tbh I don’t evn knw wht it is I just knw I got it bc of shay
Pidgeotto: GUYS! Will someone please just tell me what’s happening! Why do you think the mission is a go?
Billy Ray: we can see them
Heathcliff: ?????
Zenon: HOLD UP
[Zenon sent an attachment]
Heathcliff: yooooooooooooo
Heathcliff: B))
Heathcliff: &B)
Heathcliff: *B)
Heathcliff: idk whats wrong with me rn
Pidgeotto: …
Pidgeotto: Moving on...
Pidgeotto: I feel like MC would have said something if this was a date. There’s no way she’s Peeling Space Daddy’s Banana tonight.
Pidgeotto: And hold on.
Pidgeotto: Are you two together?
Heathcliff: O: ^^^^
Zenon: WE ARE ON A DATE
Heathcliff: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pidgeotto: It’s about time!
Heathcliff: CAN U FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT~~~
Mission Control: I can’t believe you four! My phone’s been going off every few seconds! Space Daddy kept asking me if I should answer it and I knew it was this chat I just knew it so obviously I couldn’t answer it and he totally thinks I’m weird now.
Mission Control: Also the mission is, unfortunately, not a go.
Mission Control: We are merely studying together.
Heathcliff: )’: sry bout tht mc
Mission Control: Trust me, no one is more disappointed than I.
Mission Control: He literally called me “study buddy” when we met up.
Mission Control: I’ll never peel Space Daddy’s banana.
Heathcliff: awwww dont lose faith mc
Pidgeotto: Wait. How are you responding if you didn’t want to check it around Space Daddy? Why are you here?
Zenon: HE WENT TO THE BATHROOM
Mission Control: It’s a little creepy that you know that.
Heathcliff: okaaaaay but guys wht hpnd 2 billy ray tho???????
Zenon: HE’S ENJOYING THE FOOD
Mission Control: Perhaps you should focus more on your date than this chat, Zenon? You do want to keep dating Billy Ray don’t you?
Zenon: OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT
Keith looks up with a raised brow as Lance drops his phone on the table.
“I have been alerted that I am not paying enough attention to you, my love, and therefore I must rectify the situation at once.”
Keith bursts out laughing and rolls his eyes at Lance, “You’re such a dork.”
“Ah, but I am your dork and there’s the rub.”
Keith rolls his eyes, pretty sure that quote is somehow incorrect but goes back to his food without saying anything because he’s sure that would just make the situation worse somehow.
So the date continues and every now and then he catches Lance’s eye and they grin, (Lance pulls out another lame line, “Do you have a map? Because I’m getting lost in your eyes,” the first time it happens) the conversation is light, and somehow things are (finally) going pretty well.
Despite the fact that Lance cuts his spaghetti with a knife before eating it.
“Dude, you know that’s wrong right?” Keith questions, affronted.
(Lance’s answer is, your face is wrong to which Keith replies that he didn’t have any problems with his face before and then Lance blushes because Keith’s actually beautiful and he really doesn’t have a comeback to that.)
In the end Lance proclaims he’ll only eat spaghetti the “right” way if Keith agrees to “Lady and the Tramp this bitch!”
“Um… Sure?” Keith replies, not exactly sure what that meant, just that Lance seems really passionate about it and he really doesn’t want to say no to Lance when gets that excited look about him.
(Even though it usually ends with Allura and/or Shiro giving them a lecture.)
Lance scoots his chair over to Keith’s side of the table and dumps his entire plate onto Keith’s.
(In hindsight this is another one of those moments where Keith really should have seen this coming.)
But it’s fun.
Lance struggles with twirling spaghetti and although Keith will never tell him this, he thinks it’s cute.
Lance typically sticks his tongue out and furrows his brows when he focuses and Keith can tell he wants to do that now but he’s trying to eat the spaghetti so he can’t stick his tongue out and Keith can only pray someone sets him on fire before he combusts himself it’s just. That. Cute.
“This is too hard!” Lance whines after a solid two minutes of effort, “Keith! Help me!” He demands, somehow managing to pout at the same time.
(Keith struggles to fight down another blush.)
(And somehow he ends up feeding Lance to show him how to do it right.)
(He eventually realizes what he’s doing and forcibly teaches Lance how to properly twirl spaghetti so he does not continue feeding his boyfriend because they are both adults and Keith can only handle so much embarrassment.)
(They do end up “Lady and the Tramp-ing this bitch.”)
(They even forget that Allura and Shiro are sitting literally on the other side of the restaurant, most likely spying on them.)
(Allura is 100% taking pictures of this and sending them in the group chat-the one with Shiro actually in it.)
(While Keith quietly tries to bury his mortification, Lance learns that Keith’s face in the candle light is even more beautiful than his normal face.)
(He also learns that Keith seems to have a sixth sense or something because as soon as he finishes that thought Keith looks up and gives him this questioning look.)
(Lance is totally smooth at covering it up.)
(“I-I was j-just afraid of the flame catching on your hair! Or something! Yeah.”)
(Keith doesn’t buy it but he also just assumes it has to do with Lance’s ponytail fetish so he ties his hair up with a sigh.)
(Lance screams internally because now Keith’s stupid face is even more beautiful.)
“There’s this great ice cream place a few blocks over, do you want to get dessert?” Lance questions when they’re done with the main course.
Keith just grins, “We could. Or we could go home. Shiro’s here studying. And, honestly… I’d rather suck on something else.”
(LANCE IS DEAD. OH LORD IN HEAVEN HE HAS BEEN MURDERED BECAUSE KEITH LITERALLY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS PANTS AS HE SAYS THESE THINGS AND NOW LANCE IS HALF-HARD AND GOOD LORD WHAT HAS HE DONE TO DESERVE THIS?)
Keith looks up, his grin transforming into a smirk at how red Lance’s face has gotten, and Lance can literally see him contemplating ducking beneath the table.
“Oops, I dropped my fork.”
(Lance feels like he’s about to keel over right there.)
And then Keith whispers, “You’re not the only one who can be smooth,” right into Lance’s ear, and this is it. Lance has lived a good life, goodbye world because Keith fucking ducks beneath the table.
(They’re going to be banned from this place.)
(Even if they’re not, there’s no way he can bring his parents back here without thinking about Keith doing things to his dick.)
(Thanks a lot Keith.)
He eyes the knife he was using to cut spaghetti back when the world was a much simpler place and he didn’t have a tent pitched in his pants and good Lord how was he supposed to walk past the old lady at the next table now?
“I suppose,” Keith continues, looking thoughtful, as if mulling something over, “We could have dessert here…”
Keith is now eyeing the people around them from underneath the table as if wondering whether or not he could suck Lance off underneath it.
Lance is still screaming internally, sure he’ll die of oxygen deprivation.
(Because the only way he can stave off a moan is by not breathing at all.)
(It turns out his mind is pretty decent at functioning without oxygen because he quickly determines a few things.)
(1. That knife is too dull and, unfortunately, will not grant him with a quick death.)
(2. He would rather the grandma see his hard-on than have Keith have his dessert at the restaurant.)
(3. He’s gotta make a run for it-preferably with Keith.)
So that’s what he does.
He doesn’t say another word. He just springs up, grabs Keith’s wrist and yanks him out of that restaurant like the devil himself is after them.
He simply rounds a corner, pulls Keith in for a kiss (re: a make out session) and plans to drag the boy back to his apartment.
Eventually.
Maybe if Shiro does happen to walk in on them, he can join in and Lance will finally learn what he’s missing.
(Sorry, Allura.)
But if not.
Well.
If not, he can have his way with Keith and he’s feeling pretty good about taking that best sex Keith’s ever had title from Shiro right about now.
When they come up for air Keith chuckles, “I’m glad it was your lips instead of your fist this time.”
Lance lets out a whine, “Shut up you nerd.”
Very seriously Keith goes, “Hit my lips with yours again.”
“I’m never going to live this down,” Lance moans.
“Never,” Keith agrees before pulling Lance back down.
So maybe the date wasn’t perfect. Maybe Keith didn’t appreciate Lance’s suave moves. Maybe the pick up lines were unnecessary and straight up terrible at points. Maybe Lance caught on fire and almost ruined it. Maybe Lance didn’t pay enough attention his date in favor of gossiping in the group chat.
But Keith didn’t seem to mind.
And besides they had practically forever to figure it out.
For now, Lance is cool with making out with his boyfriend and maybe having some more amazing sex.
“I must be a snowflake,” Lance mummers between kisses, “Because I’ve fallen for you.”
“No,” Keith gasps, “You’re definitely a thief,” and it takes him a moment before he can continue with his next breath, “Because you’ve stolen my heart.”