Chapter Text
CHAPTER 1
Neil Perry was stunning in every definition of the word.
At least in Todd's eyes. To him, Neil could do no wrong. He was sweet, compassionate, unique, free.
Himself.
And Todd's admired that greatly. It was one of the reasons him and Neil were so close. That and the fact that Neil would never let Todd even doubt his worth among the whole group for a second.
God... That's what Todd really loved about Neil. He was so patient. Always kind when Todd could barely speak one sentence without stuttering a million times. Always getting him involved when Todd was nervous to try. Always a friend.
And now it was Todd's turn to be there for Neil.
That's why him, the other poets, and Mr. Keating were sitting down, watching Neil perform in the play he's been working so hard for.
Todd knew how hard he had worked to perfect his role. Hell, he had helped him.
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"Todd, please? Just for, like, twenty minutes!" Neil begged, kneeling down at the side of Todd's bed, his script in hand.
Todd only groaned in response, barely waving Neil off as he rolled over in his bed to face the wall. "It's so late, Neil..." He whined.
Neil was persistent, leaning forward to the point Todd could sense him right behind his head. "But it's important! I'm really struggling with this scene and I don't want to go wake up anyone else." He explained, his voice definitely right by Todd's ear.
"Mm.. Tomorrow..." Todd argued, pulling his blanket up over half of his face.
Neil only pulled the blanket off, moving closer to the bed by Todd's side. He put a hand on his shoulder, lightly shaking him. "No, no, come on, Todd. Please? Just this once."
With a tired groan, Todd reluctantly turned back on his side again, eyes still shut and his hand over his face, rubbing at his eyes. "Fine, but only for a—"
When he opened his eyes, he was greeted with Neil just inches away from his face, that wide, gorgeous smile on his lips.
It made Todd jolt, definitely awake now, and brought a light flush to his cheeks. He sat up. "Jesus—"
"Sorry. Too close?" Neil apologized, standing up to his feet.
Todd just sighed and shook his head. No, not close enough.
In the cold of an autumn night, the two boys snuck out of the dorms, Neil whispering with great excitement about the play as Todd tiredly nodded along, barely keeping his eyes open.
"God, I love this." Neil said with a happy sigh, practically skipping down the grass at this point.
"What," Me? "The scene?" Todd asked.
"No, just acting in general." Neil corrected, slowing down once he noticed how Todd was falling behind. "I think I can really do this full time, you know? Just forget medical school and keep up with this!"
Todd just smiled softly, admiring the way the moonlight made Neil's skin seem even more radiant. He would be an amazing actor.
Neil was practically beaming, his energy somehow skyrocketing. He pressed his script into one of Todd's hand before grabbing the other, pulling Todd with him as he ran the rest of the way to the dock by the lake.
"What are the scenes you're struggling with?" Todd asked, still catching his breath from the sudden running as he flipped through Neil's scrip.
Neil walked to the edge of the dock, admiring the darkness of the lake at this late hour. "We can start with act one, scene five. It should be marked with a red star."
Todd flipped through the pages, eyeing all the highlights and notes Neil left littered throughout the script. "Who do I need to read for?"
"Juliet."
That made Todd freeze for a second, along with reading just some of the lines of the marked scene. How did he forget that Neil was playing Romeo in Romeo and Juliet?
All he managed to say was a small "Oh."
Neil moved to stand beside Todd, looking over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the first line before nodding, backing up, and standing in front of Todd.
And just like that, he was in character.
"If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this," Neil recited, like it was simply second nature for him. He took hold of Todd's free hand that wasn't holding the script, feeling the scene.
"My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand," He took just a small step closer, enough to make Todd's heart race. "To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss." He murmured, lifting Todd's hand up as if he were to kiss it.
Todd was struggling to focus, looking between Neil and the lines of the script. He swallowed, his voice cracking as he spoke. "G-Good pilgrim, you, uh... d-do wrong your h-hand, ah, too much—" He stuttered out, which made Neil frown and cut him off.
"Come on, Todd, you can put more energy into that!" He teased, still holding Todd's hand like it was no problem, even giving it an encouraging squeeze. "Try again. Please?"
Todd sighed, looking back at the pages. He had to mentally prepare himself for reading the line again.
"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly shows in this." He murmured, pausing to read the next line. "For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' lips."
Neil smiled at Todd's improvement, stepping a little closer as he pressed his hand against his. "Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?" He murmured, tilting his head to the side in such a way that was too endearing.
Todd felt his chest tighten and constrict. This was almost too much. "Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." He said, stepping back slightly.
Neil only stepped closer, his hand not holding Todd's finding placement on the other boy's waist. "O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do." He leaning in closer, his thumb rubbing the back of Todd's hand. "They pray. Grant thee, lest faith turn to despair."
"W-wait that's wrong." Todd spoke up, tripping over his words. All because of how close Neil was. Get a grip...
"Really?" Neil hummed, removing his hand from Todd's waist as he peered down at the script, mumbling the words before. "Ohh. It's thou, not thee." He corrected himself with a soft chuckle, shaking his head. It at least eased the tension a bit.
"Grant thou, lest faith turn to despair." He murmured.
Todd glanced at the script before continuing, "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." He recited, his eyes downcast on the script.
Neil hummed softly, and Todd could feel his cold fingers brush the side of his neck, tilting his head up just barely. They were so close now.
"Then move not while my prayer's effect I take." He murmured, starting to lean in.
For some weird reason, Todd was sure Neil would actually kiss him.
But he stopped just a breath away, a smile growing on his face despite himself. "Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged."
With that, Neil snatched the script from Todd's hand, almost running around Todd in circles.
"That was good! It felt natural!" He cheered as he flipped through the script, stopping on a page.
"Ok, ok, start here." He said, pointing to a line as he handed the script back to Todd.
Todd squinted at the words. "Just these two lines?"
"Mhm. I want to get the right emotion for it, you know?" Neil replied. "Very important."
Todd nodded along, slowly speaking up. "Uh.. Thou wretched boy that didst consort him here shalt with him hence."
Neil didn't respond right away, looking at Todd like was crazy. "What?"
"Shalt with him hence...?" Todd repeated, unsure of what he said incorrectly.
Neil shoved Todd's shoulder, that familiar energy coming back. "Come on, put more energy into it! You gotta yell the whole thing! Feel it!" He claimed, yelling his own words as well, the sound loud but undeniably charming.
Todd glanced back to the school in the distance hesitantly, but at the sight of no lights on....
Screw it.
Todd cleared his throat. "Thou wretched boy that didst consort him here shalt with him hence!" He recited the line once more, shouting it loud enough that they could practically hear it ripple over the lake.
They were silent for a moment, both shocked that Todd even had that in him, but once Neil laughed, Todd knew that he did it right.
Neil went along with it, talking just as loud, "This shall determine that!" He called out, even acting out the fight he'd have to perform, finishing it with a fake stab at Todd.
Todd just laughed, a more genuine sound of fondness than humor. He handed Neil his script, which Neil took with a dramatic bow.
The two stood in silence for a moment, standing at the edge of the dock and just admiring the quiet of the night that seemed to linger despite how they were just shouting.
"So, what do you think?" Neil asked suddenly, voice quiet, scared to disturb the air.
"About?" Todd replied.
"This. Me and acting." Neil's voice was softer now. More tender and serious. He wasn't searching for praise necessarily. He was looking for a genuine response from someone who mattered.
And Todd could feel the air shift between them. Not a bad shift, but one he couldn't exactly name or define. One that tells him that something has changed. Or that something will change.
"I..." Come on, Todd, just spit it out.
He hesitated, taking in a breath.
Carpe diem.
"I know you're going to be the best actor to ever walk the earth." Todd finally said, voice soft in a way that he didn't intend to do, but made him nervous nonetheless.
What if the truth of how he feels for his friend is too obvious?
There was a flicker in Neil's eyes that was visible to Todd even under the moonlight. Something quick but bright, a sense of hope that one could only admire.
Instead of agreeing with or thanking Todd, Neil went a different route, murmuring a quiet, "Really?"
It almost broke Todd's heart. Neil wasn't often vulnerable to this level. Sure, he's opened up about his fears and insecurities before, but that was always more venting than anything. Not this quiet kind of fear and doubt that a guy like Neil rarely showed.
Todd nodded, offering a small smile. "Yeah, of course. You got talent." He said. "And I mean it, Neil."
He hesitated a moment before adding, "Dead poets honor."
That got a small chuckle out of Neil, who shook his head with a fond amusement. He put an arm around his friends shoulder, pulling Todd in only to ruffle his hair, laughter being shared between the two once more.
Once the moment of vulnerability passed, Neil sighed softly, keeping his arm around Todd. "You know what?" He hummed.
"This is the best night of my life."
Todd felt his heart jump in his chest. It was such a dumb response for something so simple and normal. But the idea of him being the reason Neil enjoyed tonight was too much not to think of.
Todd couldn't help but feel just as happy.
"Yeah. Me too."
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