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"What are you doing here?" Jackson asks as Derek walks in through the front door of his house.
"What do you think? Royal fuck up? You text me that and expect me to wait?"
"I said I'd explain on Sunday. That's what those meetings are for..."
"You said you wanted to talk. It sounded important."
"I said that because it could wait."
"Then don't send me any text, okay? You just make me wonder. Then, I tell Kane and he wonders too..."
"So he made you come." It's a statement, not a question.
"No. I want to know. But yeah, he's expecting a full report."
Jackson snorts. "Of course."
"Is Stiles here?"
"No, he left a while ago." Jackson says, walking to the sofa and taking a seat. "He went to the mall with Daniel to buy him some sneakers and god knows what else. And I actually, prefer that he's not here."
"Why? Is it about him?" Derek frowns, sitting in an armchair in front of Jackson. "How are things between you two?"
"Yeah. It is about him but things are good between us. I mean, much better than before he left."
"You mean it's working out this time?"
"I mean, he's obviously trying. The way he treats Daniel... he obviously cares about him. I can see how much he's changed since he's been taking care of him and I couldn't be happier." Jackson smiles.
"And with you? You just said things were good..."
"Yeah. When I woke up, he told me that he wanted things to be different this time and it's true that I wasn't sure at first... but he's shown me that he meant it. He really did. I think he wants his life with us back and he seems excited about the baby too or at least, he says he wants to be involved and you know, experience it like he did the first time."
"I'm very glad he's changed his attitude. I guess that the possibility of losing you and the baby was the wake up call he needed. I never lost hope that he'd come back to his senses, you know... he loved you too much for that."
"Well, he has fucking amnesia. It doesn't matter how much he loved me... but he remembered when we were kidnapped while I was in a coma--"
"Really?" Derek interrupts him obviously surprised. "He never told me anything."
"I know. He thought that if he told the pack, they would start expecting him to remember more stuff and he didn't want to disappoint anybody if that didn't happen."
"But what did he remember exactly?"
"Everything."
"Everything?" Derek frowns.
"Yeah. It was like a dream. A nightmare. He remembered the pain, the fear, the darkness... he remembered me... what I said..."
"But you told him about it. I mean, he knew what happened," Derek says.
"Well, not exactly. Not everything. I didn't give him so many details because I was afraid that he would remember it. But I guess I was wrong. He says it's helped him to understand why we were friends and why we got together, so I guess that since then he's been more open to the idea that he could... y'know, feel something for me."
"That's great. Kane told me that you were going on a date last weekend. What happened? Did you go?"
"Yeah, on Saturday." Jackson nods. "It was Stiles's idea. We went to Tavolata."
"Really?" Derek smiles.
"Yeah, but that was your husband's idea. He recommended it."
Derek snorts. "Well, he knew what he was doing, right?"
"He should have known better, don't you think?" Jackson asks, raising his eyebrows.
"Why? Don't you want to rekindle your relationship?" Derek bites his lip, trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, but I don't need candles for that. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable in his first date. All I wanted was to be alone with him, like we used to."
"And how was it then? Was that the fuck up you were talking about?"
"No. Dinner was good. I mean, as good as I could expect. We talked about Daniel and he told me about the memory I told you. He said he wants to make things work this time... and well, a couple of things that weren't the best topic of conversation because your husband told him about my will... but it was okay... it was something he needed to know anyway."
"I must say, it doesn't sound like you had a great time."
"No, I did... but it was weird. I try not to think about the past... about us before the accident, but being back there made it very difficult." The fact is that is that he has too many great memories in that place.
"Shit Jackson. You shouldn't do that."
"I don't want to." Jackson closes his eyes and Derek can see how painful it is for him to talk about it. "Of course, I don't want to. But I need to move on from the way it used to be with him if I want to accept the way things are now."
"What did he say? Can you expect a second date?" Derek wonders.
"I guess... yeah. I asked him but he wouldn't give me a direct answer. He asked me if our first date was better..." Jackson says, rolling his eyes.
"And what did you say to that?" Derek smiles, feeling sorry for Jackson but also amused by the situation.
"What do you think? He's not the only one who can avoid giving a direct answer... I said they were two completely different situations."
"Well, that's the truth, isn't it?"
"Yeah... yeah... it is. But I wasn't honest, not completely, because for me that first date was special." He knew it was Stiles's first date and he knew he'd be nervous about it. He knew Stiles had expectations and that he might even be comparing himself to Lydia. "But I didn't want him to feel miserable because he doesn't remember it anymore. So, as much I want to be honest with him, sometimes there's something holding me back and I feel like shit afterwards, but I can't always tell him how I feel... and that's the truth."
"I don't know." Derek shakes his head. "This situation is very complicated. But then, what was your text about exactly? What's happened?"
Jackson licks his lips as he thinks how to answer that. Derek is a good friend more than just his alpha but he's had to talk about his sex life with him before because of the whole pregnancy issue and he was very happy to have left that subject behind. Talking about it again is not something he wanted to do but obviously, after what happened, he needs to tell him.
Derek just looks at him but waits for his answer and doesn't say anything.
"What happened is that I bit my husband, that's what happened." Jackson rests his elbows on his knees and hides his faces in his hands.
"What do you mean you bit him?" Derek frowns. Derek knows Stiles is perfectly fine or he would have heard about it, so he's more confused and curious than anything else.
"I mean in bed." Jackson lifts his head and rests his back on the sofa again. His left hand rests on his belly as he runs the right one through his hair. "After the date, we were in bed and we started talking..." Jackson wonders how many details Derek really needs to know.
"And?"
"I kissed him, okay? He was saying all this bullshit about me not finding him attractive and not touching him and, of course, I lost any kind of restraint I had left and--"
"Wait a sec, he kissed you?" Derek asks.
"Yes, he did." Jackson nods. "And well, one thing led to another..."
"Spare me the details, please." Derek says amused, watching Jackson's troubled face.
"Believe me, I'm fucking trying here." Jackson says obviously frustrated.
"Okay." Derek smiles.
"So, anyway, it got intense, y'know? Like old times intense... and shit, I guess I lost it..." Jackson waves his right hand. "I can't think of any other way to describe it. I wolfed out and I didn't realize..." Jackson licks his lip. "I don't remember what happened, all I know is that I wasn't in control. For the first time ever..." Jackson shakes his head as he thinks about it once again. "I lost control and I bit him, and I didn't break his skin but I know I could have and he would have bled to death right there in our bed, Derek. And now I can't get it out of my fucking mind. I almost killed him."
"Jackson, I understand why you're scared of what happened but you'd never have gone that far. Your wolf would never hurt him. You can be sure of that."
"How can you be so sure? You weren't there, okay? You don't know how it felt," Jackson says.
"No, I wasn't but what happened to you isn't strange at all. Especially given the circumstances and everything you've been through. Not to mention that you're pregnant with his kid. I mean, he's your mate and it's been what? Six months since October?"
It's not really a question but Jackson nods anyway. It's been six months since the accident but it feels like two times that... like an eternity since before all this nightmare started.
"Even if you weren't a wolf, that's a long fucking time... I mean, who wouldn't get that?" Derek snorts. "Everybody who knows both of you is gonna get that. And, as far as the bite goes, your wolf thought he lost him since the accident and he's never felt like he got him back because you never did... Of course, he's gonna try to claim him if you give him the chance. So, it wasn't just a bite, it was a statement. He needs him as much as you need him. But, like I said before, he'd never hurt him. You don't need to worry, okay?"
"You seem so sure," Jackson says.
"That's because I'm sure. I understand why you freaked out but trust me, he wasn't in danger. But how did he react? Was he scared?"
"What do you think?" Jackson can't help but smile as he remembers the way Stiles was kissing him back before the bite. "No... not really. Mostly, he was surprised. I guess he didn't realize what was happening at first. Maybe he was shocked too... but we talked about it and he said he's not afraid of me, so yeah, I believe him. After all, he was never afraid before and despite his amnesia, he's the same person. Many things about him... I don't think they're ever going to change."
He might be younger and inexperienced now but he knows his husband and he felt how he reacted. He knows everything was more than right up until that moment.
"Look. I'm your alpha and I'm your friend but honestly, what is happening here... it's not totally about your wolf."
"You have to be kidding me. I fucking bit my husband." Jackson frowns.
"Yeah, so what? I bite mine all the time and he's not been in a coma for three months!"
"You what?!" Jackson says, surprised for a second because it's so out of the blue.
"It's sex, Jackson--" Derek says defensively in an amused tone.
"What you and your husband do is none of my business. Thank you very much," Jackson says waving his arms.
"Hey, if I have to know about your sex life, I think you can hear about mine..." Derek grins.
"For god's sake," Derek rolls his eyes dramatically, "I was just trying to help..." Derek waves his arms. "And anyway, what I meant to say before you interrupted me is that, it is safe. Nothing is going to happen... and well, from what you said, Stiles seems interested, right? So I hope things keep improving for you two but next time, don't tell me about it, okay?" Derek smirks.
"What kind of alpha are you anyway?"
"The kind who knows way too much about your sex life and needs to forget about it," Derek jokes.
"Sorry, I can't make any promise at this point." Jackson smiles, shaking his head.
"I knew you'd say that... Okay, I really have to go," Derek says looking at the time. "I need to pick up Kane. We're going to have lunch at his parents." Derek says as he gets up and heads to the door.
"Sounds like fun." Jackson says as he follows Derek to the door.
"Yeah, so much fun," Derek says in a sarcastic tone.
"Thanks for coming." Jackson opens the front door.
"No problem. I'll see you on Sunday," Derek says, stepping out of the house.
"Yeah, see you then," Jackson says before closing the door.