Chapter Text
Several seconds passed since Jazz made the last transition. If it wasn’t for the dull background chatter making its way through Prowl’s end of the line, Jazz would have sworn his mate had hung up or had been disconnected.
When Prowl finally found his voice, Jazz noted he sounded exhausted.
::You really can’t stay.:: Prowl said, tone light in the first stage of his ‘I can’t believe I even have to say this’ mood chart.
Jazz sighed in return, looking out through a porthole at the white curtain of snow that was slowly descending upon the D.F. Victory. ::Prowler, it’s cold outside.::
::Jazz.:: Prowl’s tone turned heavy, the exhaustion indicating that they had sped-past stage one and were now in stage two. ::You need to get away.::
That much Jazz could agree with. He did need to get away. ‘Con warships were no place for an Autobot saboteur to loiter unnecessarily. But Jazz needed to be smart about it, if he tried right now odds were the ‘Cons would find him him and drag him to a much less comfy corner of the warship than the fourth-level supply closet he was currently inhabiting. Jazz took an image capture of the snow outside of the porthole sending it back to Prowl with the caption: Prowler, it’s cold outside.
Prowl must have checked the image before replying, because when Jazz’s lover spoke next he had changed tactics like the excellent tactician that Jazz knew he was.
::Your mission has been—:: Prowl crooned, gentle and coaxing ::—a big success. Why don’t you come home and get some rest?::
Okay… Maybe Prowl didn’t get the picture. Jazz took another, quickly following it up with a picture he had taken from the same porthole a few months ago in the summer. In that picture, the skyline of New York City rose brilliantly above the horizon. At present, it was completely obscured by the clouds and snow. Over the comms he quipped, ::Have ya looked outside? The roads are a mess.::
::You make a living out of fixing messes. I’m sure you can handle it. Red Alert, on the other servo, is starting to worry about your well-being… And your alignment.::
::Babe, Red Alert always worries.:: Jazz said, dismantling that argument with ease.
Undeterred, Prowl countered with, ::You’ve been gone for over a week, Jazz. At this rate, you’ll make Optimus start pacing the floor.::
::Tell him, I’m fine.:: Jazz sighed, he really chose to be surrounded by varying degrees of obsessive worriers didn’t he? Their concern was sweet in a way. In another, he wished they had more faith in him. ::Like ya said, this is what I do for a living. At this point, ‘Con-sitting’s a bore.::
Jazz continued with another sigh, doing his best to assure his lover. ::I’m just gonna hunker down ‘til this blows over. There’s really no reason to hurry.::
Prowl seemed to take that as a challenge, for he attempted to give Jazz a reason. ::The Autobots want you home once more.::
The Autobots, huh? Jazz smirked. Well if Prowl was going to play it like that, Jazz supposed he could play along. Especially seeing as he had nothing better to do. ::Turn on my playlist, I added some new tunes that I think everyone will adore.::
::The Decepticons might discover your presence.::
::Heh, I’ll take my chances there.::
::You’ll miss As The Kitchen Sinks.::
Jazz cringed, then perked as he remembered last week’s commentary. ::Good try, tonight’s a re-air.::
Prowl sighed deeply. ::I wish I knew how—::
Oh, Jazz noted, he was getting desperate. But… Surely, Prowl wouldn’t call their game off now.
::—to keep you well…:: Prowl finished, to Jazz’s smiling delight.
::Don’t you fret Prowl, all your plans work swell.::
Another beat of quiet passed while Prowl considered his next line. Briefly, Jazz wondered if the pause was intentional, to add extra effect.
::Perhaps I can send in Skyfire…:: Prowl mused.
If it was any other mech saying that, Jazz would have frowned and asked in a deeply incredulous manner if they were serious. But he knew his mate well enough to know that somewhere deep in the Ark, Prowl was smirking. So Jazz laughed.
::Mech, that’s some cruel satire::
::Maybe I can rent you a snowplow tonight?::
::Or we can save our money, if ya just let me sit tight:: Jazz retorted half-seriously. The Autobots got a limited amount of funding from various world governments and organizations as thanks for saving their people and property from the Decepticons. Optimus didn’t like to accept those funds, claiming that it was because the Cybertron War — and the Autobots failure to contain it — that caused the damages in the first place.
Prowl had retorted that the same governments also demanded reparations. And in the same discussion, Jazz suggested that the money the Autobots received would go directly back into rebuilding efforts or ways to better defend and mitigate the Decepticon threat to other humans. The majority of High Command was quick to latch on board to their Second’s and Third’s proposal, with the exception of Red Alert who claimed Soundwave would be able to suss out and sabotage Autobot Operations through the accounts.
Needless to say, Optimus and Red Alert had been overruled on the manner.
Prowl matched Jazz’s energy with a scoff. ::You really can’t stay.::
Jazz did his best to pout over the line. ::Please don't make me go… You know —::
::I know—:: Prowl responded dryly at the same time.
They finished the sentence simultaneously, ::—it's cold outside.::
Six, seven, seconds passed before Prowl’s voice crackled again in Jazz’s audial. The distortion made it clear that his safe-and-warm at-home lover was shaking his helm. ::You are quite possibly the most stubborn mech I know, Jazz.::
::Aw thanks, Prowler! It was hard work y’know… I had to take the title away from you!:: Jazz grinned, waiting for his lover to take the bait.
::…You simply must go.:: Prowl said. ::The Decepticon Flagship is no place for you to reside.::
::Prowler, it’s cold outside.::
::The order is, "Go."::
Oh. Maybe Jazz pushed too far… Prowl was being serious now. Well… Jazz looked out the porthole again to check, and yep, he was being serious too. ::But Prowler, it’s cold outside.::
::Your mission is done.:: Prowl’s tone was clipped.
::…Or what if the sabotage has just begun?:: Jazz suggested, trying to get his mate back into the swing of things.
::Come home and rest…:: The frustration still laced the tactician’s tone, but the way he pleaded clued Jazz in that maybe it wasn’t just frustration.
::I’m sorry, Prowler…:: Jazz apologized, genuinely. It wasn’t like he wanted to be stuck here on the Victory but the weather was giving him little choice. ::Mother Nature says the ‘Cons need a test.::
Prowl’s latest sigh was the strongest yet. It rattled through Jazz’s audial and throughout his frame, like he had been the one to utter it.
::Soundwave’s already suspicious.:: Prowl reminded Jazz of the saboteur’s own intel from earlier in the call.
Jazz nodded, back even though Prowl couldn’t see. His mate was right, Jazz needed a plan, even though Prowl didn’t say such words directly. Luckily for Jazz — and on a broader scale, most other Cybertronians — a ready made scapegoat was at hand. ::Gosh!:: Jazz exclaimed faux-disbelieving and awed voice. ::When did Starscream become so ambitious?::
Prowl didn’t laugh, but he did have a brief delay in replying which Jazz took as a victory.
::A short-term solution. When… Or if — they realize Starscream isn’t at fault, Megatron will have Soundwave and the cassettes to comb through the floors. Ravage, especially, will want Autobot energon after his last mission was thwarted. You’ll need to be ready to move and hide and prevent him from doing the same.::
::Right, right. If I stop him completely the whole base will come after me, and we don’t want that… I’ve got a couple of laser tripwires and cryo-gas containers on me. I can set ‘em up in the vents over the major doors to slow them down.::
::An interesting proposal… It could certainly work, but you’d have to be careful in your execution. If you get caught, Megatron’s wrath will be vicious.::
Pit, if Jazz didn’t know that. He had been on the bad end of that canon before and it was about as fun as waking up in a berth full of scraplets. But… if he played his cards right he might have a ready-made solution to that too. He cleared his throat with a grunt and then replied back in an almost spot-on impression of Thundercracker. ::Primus, who knew Screamer’s so pernicious?::
Finally this invoked a laugh from Prowl, though it was quickly covered up. ::I can’t believe I’m actually entertaining this… Jazz. There’s no need for all this unnecessary nonsense. Why is it that extracting you from missions is always so complicated it borderlines as a chore?::
Jazz chuckled. ::Well, I can’t speak for ‘always’, Prowler. But right now, Primus, I’ve never seen a blizzard like this before!::
::Yes, you have.:: Prowl reminded. ::It was just last month. You disguised yourself as a giant snowman for hours until Bumblebee brought Spike over.::
::That was different.:: Jazz protested. ::I wasn’t moving with ice in front, and ‘Cons in the back. Could’ve gave up and gone back into the Ark at anytime.::
::And you can do so now, too. It’s time to come home, Jazz.::
::Prowler, I already told ya, I’ll freeze out there.::
::Then take breaks on the road. We have several hangers and human partners whose homes you could shelter at.::
Jazz shook his helm. This was what he meant when he said he had to really try to seize the title of ‘Stubbornest Mech’ away from his bondmate. Prowl was nothing if not persistent and unwavering in his decisions once he decided. But for that matter, so was Jazz, and now the title was his to defend.
::Great! Do ya also have a plan on how I can even get to those digs? In case ya don’t know, some areas got more snow than the humans are high.::
::Jazz, you’re embellishing things.::
Jazz could all but feel his mate’s optic roll. In reply, he made a clicking ‘tsk’-sound. ::Me? It sounds more like ya haven’t checked the weather lately.::
::Of course I have.::
Of course he had… And to that matter his mate was probably again checking right now.
::Well?:: Jazz prompted.
::The Weather Channel is reporting that your ‘high as human’ snow event has ‘downgraded to sleet’.::
Well, slag… The weather channel got one thing right. That was a downgrade. A real, slagging, downgrade. Snow at least provided limited amounts of friction on the roads. But sleet? Zero, zip, nada.
Jazz groaned. ::Prowler, that’s even more risky. I know ya know that. And I also know ya hate taking unnecessary risks… So did something happen at base?::
::…Affirmative. Optimus moved up Friday’s command meeting to Wednesday. I could really use you by my side. If you were to depart now, you would make it, even if we add six extra hours unto the typical fourty-two hour commute from New York to Portland, to account for traffic delays.::
::I see. And I’d love to be there, Prowler, really~:: Jazz reassured with a purr. To clarify, he was a bit iffy on the meeting itself, but he definitely missed his mate’s side. Prowl wouldn’t admit it, but the tactician made for an awesome pillow sometimes. If the weather had given Jazz a choice, you’d better believe he’d already be well on his way to Portland for cuddles. Unfortunately, the weather didn’t share Jazz’s — or Prowl’s — desires. Now it was up to Jazz to console his mate on that.
::But babe, we both missed meetings before and everything was fine. I don’t remember anything by on the proposed agenda that’s worth me maybe crashing on I-80, 90, or 5.::
::You’re right, of course there’s not… But prolonging your stay with our mortal enemies is hardly any safer. I don’t like being unable to help you.::
Jazz smiled softly on his end of the line. ::Aw Prowler, you’re helping right now. Wrecking ol’ Megsy’s day is the easy part. It’s the ‘being lonely’ part that’s hard. Might not be as exciting as shootin’ seekers down with acid pellets, but havin’ ya in my audial keeping me company is all the help I need.::
::…Very well.:: Prowl muttered. ::I suppose you can stay in the Victory until the storm ends…::
Jazz chuckled. ::Bought time ya agreed. I love ya, Prowler.::
::I love you too, Jazz. Now… Why don’t you tell me more about your ideas to frame Starscream?::