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MTL WAGs
Today 9:02 AM
Bea
Wait Rose why is Mitty saying you and Shane broke up?!?
Ellie
What??? You were literally at the game last night
Sara
Okay but why are we listening to Mitty? Haven’t we learned our lesson?
Alison
Yeah, full offense, that man sucks at gossip
Ellie
Oh yeah Mitty gets his facts wrong again makes a lot more sense
Bea
Yeah but he said he was just repeating what Shane told him…?
Hey! So Shane and I did break up. A while ago, actually. I’m sorry I never said anything but we were trying to keep it quiet and I did genuinely love being a part of this group! I know that was probably kinda weird and awful to lie to you like that. Shane and I are still friends, so I still fully plan on coming to games, so hopefully I can still see you all that way. Again, thank you so much, and I’m sorry for the deception.
Rose left the conversation
Jackie added Rose to the conversation
Jackie
Hey now, hold up. That’s not how things work around here.
If YOU want to leave this chat because it’s awkward or boring, you totally can, but no one is kicking you out or anything. This isn’t our first hockey break up, you know
Bea
Yeah! Jessi broke up with JJ years ago
Jessi
Now I just lurk and give Leila incredibly specific sex tips
Leila
its very useful lol
Ellie
And I was married to Gil until I realized I was a raging lesbian
Yulia
we got her in the divorce!
Jackie
Still trying to get him traded tho. ugh, I can’t believe what an asshole he was about the whole thing
Bea
amen
Jackie
My POINT is that you wouldn’t be the first or only honorary WAG in this chat
I mean, if you’re really okay with it, I’d love to stay!
I know it sounds all sort of pretentious but it’s been such a relief to have a group of friends who aren’t in Hollywood
Leila
get that work life balance
Bea
Okay but if you want to stay you do have to pay the gossip tax. What the hell happened with you and Shane?
Jackie
She’s kidding
Bea
I’m really not
Haha that’s fair actually
There’s not much to tell. We still care for each other a lot. Our schedules are just both really all over the place and long distance is rough
Bea
yeah he has some (understandable) hang ups around long distance…
Leila
thanks a lot boston lily
Sara
she strikes again
Boston Lily?
Alison
Our arch nemesis.
Jackie
So part of the reason we were so excited when you started dating Shane was because you’re awesome and amazing obviously
Obviously
Jackie
But another big part was because we thought that he’d FINALLY moved on from this girl he was seeing in Boston for like…ever? Not actually clear on that timeline
Hayden says since 2012 at least
Wow, Shane never really talked about any of his exes
Yulia
she’s not
Leila
shes not
Ellie
She’s not
What?
Alison
There’s literally only two things we know about Lily: she lives in Boston and she was never actually Shane’s girlfriend.
Huh
Alison
What?
Nothing
Bea
Huh is NOT nothing, girl. What do you know?
Nothing, really!
It’s just
Is she why all of Shane’s game stats jump like 30 percentage points when he’s in Boston?
Sara
Rose!
Yulia
She’s onto something…
I’d always assumed it was the rivalry, but this is making a lot more sense
Jessi
lmfao
Rozanov’s got nothing on Boston Lily
Jackie
I don’t care what impact Boston Lily has on Shane’s game! I care that she’s dragged him into a multi-year situationship with no end in sight and apparently has traumatized him so badly he’s sworn off long distance for life!!!
I mean, how do you know Lily’s the one responsible for the situationship? Maybe Shane didn’t want to commit
Alison
…
Yulia
ok yeah I read my last text out loud and I see your point
Ellie
Exactly. And that’s why we hate Boston Lily
Bea
Even if there was a totally innocent explanation at the start there’s literally no reason to drag it out half a decade
Lock it down or move on
Leila
i kinda figured it was a power thing? jj says shane was pretty crazy for her and some girls would love to have the worlds hottest and richest hockey player at their beck and call
Sara
Hottest, really?
Leila
we all have eyes
Jessi
Jackie
Wait…
Rose you said you two broke up a while back…
2 months ago technically
Bea
2 MONTHS?!
Alison
And we had to find out from MITTY?
I said I was sorry!
Jackie
Okay, we’re totally coming back to that, but first and most importantly: do we think this means Shane’s back with Boston Lily?
Bea
Oh HELL no
Yulia
Fuck.
Leila
nooooooooo
Jackie
Okay, time for drastic measures
Ladies, tell your men that the moment they land in Boston, we want two teammates with Shane at all times
Jessi
No booty calls allowed!
I’m pretty sure Shane would hate this…
Jackie
It’s for his own good!