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‘It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!’
The words were playing in Will’s mind on loop. The rain was hitting his face while he rode his bike across the town. He hoped that he could relive the day he was taken. He wanted to be taken this time, he would beg them to take him if that would help. Anything would be better, then be this, this abnormality that he was.
He hated that Mike would say something so cruel to him. That he would say that to him, that thing that he has been bullied his whole life for.
The rain was soaking his shirt and pants. Will hated the cold, but right now he couldn’t care less about it. He just wanted to get home. He wanted to stop thinking about Mike and the fact that he was wrong. He was the reason Will did not like girls after all, and Will hated the fact that there was a tiny possibility that Mike knew that.
Will could feel his insides turning and how the hot liquid rose to his throat.
He started pedaling faster.
Will finally made it to his house. He walked to the front door and started rummaging through his pockets for his keys.
“Oh...” escaped from his lips when he felt the hole in his jean pocket. The keys must have fallen from there, because they were nowhere to be found. Will banged his head on the door. What would he do now?
The cold was seeping through his clothes. He banged his head against the door again this time only harder. Will lifted his fist and hit the door. Why was no one ever home to help him?
Finally, Will tore himself away from the door and started to head towards the forest. Castle Byers was the only safety that he could think of at this moment. Normally he would go back to Mikes in this situation, but that was not an option now.
Will walked and walked. He felt like someone, or something was following him. Oh, how he hoped it was something that would get rid of him. Get rid of the disgusting feeling inside of him. The feelings that were consuming him whole. The feelings that made him hate himself more and more every moment he felt them.
Will reached Castle Byers, his safe haven. Will pushed the bed sheet away from the door frame. He had to crouch to get in because after the last time he was here he had grown too much for his own liking.
Will sat on the makeshift bed and sighed. He could still feel the tears pressing behind his eyes, threatening to spill. He could still feel the vomit trying to climb up his throat. He felt sick.
He wanted to peel his own skin off and trade it for someone else's. Someone that wasn’t this disgusting.
Will wanted to scream. He looked at the photo featuring him, Dustin, Lucas and...
Mike.
Will took the photo into his shaking hands. He felt the tears finally starting to spill from his eyes. He looked at Mike’s face. His beautiful, smiling face.
How could loving that be a sin.
“Stupid...” Will stared at Mike.
“Stupid, stupid, STUPID!” He screamed into the void, ripping the picture in half. He looked at himself in the torn picture and started ripping himself into tiny pieces.
He threw the shredded pieces of himself onto the ground. He was breathing heavy, looking for something, something to let his emotions out. Finally, he saw it. He took the baseball bat into his hands and crawled out of the castle.
The rain hit his face like cold bullets. He looked at Castle Byers. He hated it. The only safe haven he had in this shitty town and even that was tarnished with his disgusting love for Mike Wheeler.
Will lifted the bat in the air, hesitating for a second, but when the first hit landed on the castle, he felt the rage, the sadness, the disgust consuming his body. He took another hit, then another and another. He was screaming and crying. The castle he so loved came crumpling down.
Will dropped to his knees, dropping the bat next to him. He felt the warmth rising in his throat again and finally he let it go. He threw up on the ground, heaving at the feeling of his lunch leaving him so fast. He was crying uncontrollably.
He was exhausted. The rain was still pouring, but he didn’t care. Will laid down on the cold ground, hoping it would consume him. Swallow him whole. The tears he was crying got lost in the rainwater hitting his face. He closed his eyes and hoped it would end soon.
“Will!”
Footsteps approached him. Will knew the voice calling for him.
‘No’ Will thought. He did not want Mike here.
It took all the strength from him to get himself up, but he did it. He got up to his legs and started moving. His head was spinning and his legs were ready to give up under him. He dragged his feet trying to get away.
“Will stop!”
The voice was getting near. Will wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. He could still feel the vomit trying to escape him. He tried to keep it in but couldn’t. Will knelt down and let it out. He coughed so loudly that he didn’t hear the two boys finally catch up to him.
Mike dropped to his knees next to Will.
“Will! Are you okay!?”
Will didn’t answer. He couldn’t; the words were locked away somewhere.
“Will answer me, please!?” Mike said again, trying to look Will in the eyes. Will turned his gaze away from Mike.
Mike was silent for a second.
“Let’s get you home” Mike tried to help Will up, but Will tore himself away like Mike was diseased. Mike was taken aback.
Will then looked up at Lucas who got the hint and helped him up and started to walk him towards the Byers home. Mike sat on the ground for a second, confused and hurt. Will has never done that before. He had never reacted like that to Mike touching him.
Mike finally got up, realizing that his two friend were almost out of sight now. Mike walked behind them, and while walking past Castle Byers he realized that it was destroyed.
'No way Will would do that, right?'
Mike tore his eyes away from the castle and looked at Will. His gaze was glued to the ground and he looked like he was keeping his gaze away from Castle Byers on purpose.
Mike’s eyes returned to the castle, now behind them. Did Will really do that? There was no way...
______________________________
“Hi! Is Will there?” Lucas talked into the phone. Mike was sitting on the sofa with Dustin on the other side. Max and Jane were on the floor, looking over at Lucas.
Joyce’s voice boomed through the phone.
“Yes he’s here, but I don’t think it’s a good time to talk to him”.
Lucas raised his brow “um...can I ask why Ms. Byers?”
Joyce sighed “he hasn’t talked for a couple of days, so I don’t think he will talk into the phone either, I’m sorry Lucas”.
“No...no, that’s okay. Well, if you can tell him we would like to hand out I would be thankful”.
“Yeah, of course I will tell him that”.
Lucas said bye and put the phone back on the wall. He sighed and turned to look at the Party.
“Well...?” Max asked.
Lucas shook his head “I couldn’t talk to him. Joyce said he hasn’t talked at all since...” Lucas looked over at Mike whose face dropped. Did they really do that much damage on accident?
Last time when Will didn’t talk at all was back when Mike and Will first met. Will didn’t speak for two years after they met, and he hadn’t spoken anything for a year before that either, according to Ms. Byers. When he finally started speak, Mike never thought he would go back to not speaking at all.
Dustin looked at Mike and Lucas accusingly.
“What did you two do?”
Jane and Max looked between the two boys, as if just realizing that this had something to do with them.
“Yeah, what the hell did you two do?” Max asked.
Lucas lifted his hand on to his face “we were kind of mean to him about his campaign and made fun of it and...”
Dustin jumped up.
“What!? The same campaign he has been talking about for months? What the hell is wrong with you assholes!”
Dustin looked mad. Even Jane and Max looked pissed off.
“Yeah what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Even I know how important the whole D&D thing is for him” Max echoed, Jane nodding next to her.
Lucas lifted his hands up in defense “I know it was a shitty thing to do, but he was still talking back then. He only stopped talking after...” Lucas stopped and looked over at Mike. “What did you guys even talk about upstairs?”
Mike looked at Lucas as if he had just spilled something really private about him.
“Um, I-” Mike started.
Dustin was in his space fast, gripping onto his shirt. “What did you say to him Wheeler!?”
Mike was not surprised Dustin was this mad. He was the only one that had seen Will not talking for two years, but all of the Party knew about it and all of them knew it must be bad if he stopped talking again.
“I- I- we just had an argument” Mike said quietly, knowing that was not it. He must have said something really wrong to get this reaction out of Will.
“About what?” Max asked, confused.
“Just about...growing up, I guess” Mike said. Dustin pushed him off his arms.
“About growing up? Did you really fight about growing up with Will? The person who lost two years of his childhood to some fucked up entity possessing him? How fucking dump can you really be Wheeler!?”
“I-”
“No, fuck you! I’m out of here. Go fucking fix the mess you made Wheeler, I’m not talking to you before you do that!” Dustin yelled and left the basement through the back door.
Jane and Max looked at each other and got up, following Dustin out of the house “Dustin wait up!”
Mike just sat on the sofa, staring at nothing.
“I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
Lucas sat on the sofa next to him and put his hand onto his back.
“Yeah, I think you did, but that doesn’t mean you can't fix this”.
_________________________________
Mike didn’t know what to do. There had been times when Will had been mad at him before, but this was new. Mike had gone to the Byers, but every time he was turned away by apologetic looking Joyce Byers. He tried to steal glances inside just to see Will even for a second, but he didn't see him even after all the trying.
Dustin was serious about not talking to him before he made amends with Will and at times Mike did understand that, but it still felt shitty.
Even shittier was the other thing though. Mike knew that Will had seen everyone else but him. He had seen Dustin's, Jane’s and Max’s bikes at the Byers when he tried to talk to Will. Lucas had told him that he had also gone to see Will.
Lucas also told Mike that even though he saw Will, they didn’t talk. Will had nodded and shook his head when Lucas talked to him, but he didn’t say a word. When Lucas had left, he had asked Joyce if Will had talked at all to her, but the answer was no.
Mike couldn’t wrap his head around why Will was not talking to him.
After a week had gone by with no contact to Will, Mike tried again. He took his bike late at night and started pedaling. He knew if he got caught sneaking out this late his mother would beat his ass, but he didn’t care. He had to see Will.
Mike’s heart was raising the closer he got to Will’s house.
Finally, he reached the dark house. Every light was off, but he knew they were home by the car parked on the front lawn. Mike left his bike on the grass and ran to the back off the house.
Even to he had done this a million times there was always the small fear of getting caught. Mike sneaked to Will’s window and knocked.
“Will?” He whispered.
There was no answer. Mike tried again.
“Will?”
There was a shuffle inside and Mike heard footsteps approaching the window, but then the steps stopped.
“Will are you there?” Mike asked, waiting for an answer.
There was a long silence but then Mike heard it. Couple of knocks. It was Morse code and it meant yes.
“You don’t want to open the window?” Mike asked, pressing his forehead against the cold window surface.
Couple more knocks.
‘No’
“Is it okay if I still talk?” Mike asked, his heart beating fast.
‘Yes’
Mike felt relieved. Even if Will didn’t want to open the window and even if he only got responses with Morse code, it still was something.
“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry” Mike said, his voice breaking towards the end of the sentence.
He heard Will finally sitting down next to the window and he could swear he almost felt the warmth from his skin through the glass.
“I’m sorry for being so mean about the campaign. I’m sorry about the fight we had, and I just want to talk to you because I want to know what I said to upset you this bad?”
Mike could feel the wet ground spreading moisture through his jeans, but he wasn’t ready to leave just yet.
“Can we talk about it, please?” He asked, begging for the answer to be yes.
There was a silence that was going to suffocate Mike at any second, until he hearth a knock.
‘No’
Mike’s heart stopped. What? Did he hear that right just now. Mike felt desperation consuming him. He got up and pressed his hands against the window.
“But- but why? Please Will you have to talk to me!” He knew he was being too loud now, but he had to get Will to talk to him. He just had to!
“Will please!”
‘No’
Mike was ready to sob, to beg even more for Will’s forgiveness. He couldn't be without Will.
‘Leave’
Mike looked at the window. His eyes felt watery, but he didn't let them spill. He pressed his forehead against the glass again and whispered “please Will. I’m sorry”.
There was no response from Will after that. Mike sat there for ten minutes after that. Trying to beg Will to response something to him, but after he saw the light in Jonathan’s room turn on, he knew he had to leave. Mike ran to his bike and started to pedal away at two in the morning.
_________________________________
It had been two weeks now since Mike and Will fought. Mike had been a wreck since the day Will told him to leave when he went to his house.
“Come on dude, there has to be something you can do to make him forgive you?” Lucas said while walking in circles around the basement.
Mike was laying on the sofa looking like death had consumed him and then spat him out after an unpleasant aftertaste.
“There really is nothing. I have thought of everything, believe me” Mike said, looking at Lucas.
“No but really! There has to be something you can do, something meaningful” Lucas said and finally sat on the sofa, almost crushing Mike’s legs.
Mike thought for a minute, then two and then five and then suddenly jumped up. “I know!”
Lucas jumped at the reaction. “What, what!” He yelled, a little bit scared of his friends excitement.
Mike was now standing and looked at Lucas with stars in his eyes “I’m going to rebuild Castle Byers!”
Lucas took a second to progress what he just heard, but then he jumped up too.
“Dude that’s perfect!”
After getting the idea Lucas helped Mike to gather different kinds of tools that could be used in the rebuilding operation and not much after Mike was pedaling towards Castle Byers.
_________________________________
Mike was fast. He was so excited to put his plan into work. There was no way Will would stay mad at him if he rebuild something so dear to him. He abandoned his bike on the front lawn of Will’s house and started running towards the forest. The only thing he didn’t notice was a certain brown-haired boy staring at him from behind the dirty window.
Mike ran and ran. He had never ran so fast. His heart was beating out of his chest. Finally, he reached the castle and threw his tools on to the ground.
He took nails and a hammer from the tool pack and started to look for the pieces from the castle that were scattered around the forest floor. He rummaged thrue the castle, but his eyes landed on something he had seen before. Mike knelt down and lifted a paper pieces from the ground. It was a picture of Mike, Dustin and...
Will.
Will had been torn of the picture, now laying on the ground in a million pieces. What the hell had happened here?
Mike took the pieces of Will into his hands and walked out of the castle ruins. He looked at the pieces for a second trying to figure out if he could fix it somehow. There was no way Will had ripped it up on purpose, right?
Mike stared at the picture a second longer, but then he heard rustling. His head shot up and there he was, Will.
“Will!” Mike yelled and ran to him, embracing him in a hug.
Will was stiff against him. Mike pulled away from Will, still keeping his hands on Will’s arms.
“Oh my god Will! I’m so happy to see you!” Mike beamed.
“I came here to fix the castle because the storm broke it. I thought that you would like that!” Mike explained excitedly to Will, but when he turned back around to face Will, he was flappergasted.
Will’s face was scrunched up and his eyes were overflowing with tears. He was hugging his jacked closer to his body. Mike grew concerned stepping closer to Will, reaching out to wrap him into a hug. Mike took a hold of Will’s arms again and spoke in a soft voice.
“Will, what is it? Why are you crying?”
Will just shook his head, staring at Mike straight into the eyes.
“Will I know that it looks bad, but I can fix it! I promise, I just have to-” Mike turned to look at the castle.
“No”
Mike froze, his head whipping back to look at Will.
“What?”
“No” Will spoke again.
Mike was confused, his grip tightening against Will’s arms.
“What do you mean by no? I- I thought that you would like this? That you would be happy that I came here and fix the-”
“You can’t fix anything” Will spoke in a quiet voice.
Mike was taken aback by this. He knew he was no master builder, but fixing a castle made by children was not that hard really.
“I can fix this. What do you-”
“No!” Will pulled away from Mike’s grasp. “Stop!”
Will’s voice was broken and quiet even when he yelled. That’s what two weeks of not speaking does to you, I guess.
“Will I’m sorry I just want to fix-”
“Stop saying that!” Will yelled, now staring at Mike with fears eyes, tears still streaming out of the,.
“I-” Mike was wordless. What was happening?
“Stop saying you’re going to fix things. You can't fix anything!” Will yelled. He grabbed fistful of dirt from the ground and chuck it at Mike.
The dirt hit Mike straight in to the face.
“Ow! What the hell W-!” Mike was then tackled to the ground by Will.
Mike shielded his face from the punches coming from Will. Couple of them were able to hit him straight into the face and he could feel his face acing under his arms.
“Stop saying you can fix things! You can’t fix anything!” Will yelled, voice sounding like it hurt. Mike was confused. He knew Will was angry at him, but Will hitting him was new.
“Will stop!” Mike yelled, not wanting to hit him back.
“You fucking idiot! I hate you! I hate you and your stupid words! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” Will yelled, the punches still landing onto Mike’s hands.
“I hate that you make me hate myself!”
Mike was so lost. He felt his arms starting to bruise from all the hits he was taking, and he could feel the hot tears tripping onto his arms, soothing the pain.
“Will please stop!” He yelled, now trying to get a hold of Will’s hands.
“Fight back Mike! Punch me! Do something! Please!” Will yelled.
“I hate you, you fucking fa-”
Mike threw Will off him and pinned him onto the ground.
“Will stop!” Mike finally got a good look at Will. His eyes were red from all the crying. His cheeks were wet. His nose was running, and his knuckles were red from all the punches he had thrown. Some of the punches had landed onto the ground next to Mike’s face and Mike could see the blood pouring out of Will’s hands.
“I hate you...” Will said with a quiet voice.
“Will, what do you mean?” Mike asked still catching his breath. He was still holding Will by his wrist.
“You know it’s your fault”
“What?”
“It’s your fault” Will said again his eyes not leaving Mike’s.
Then Mike realized.
‘It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!’
Mike’s face dropped.
“Oh...”
His face was unreadable.
Will was sobbing by now “it’s your fucking fault! Let me go!” He yelled, spit flying at Mike’s face.
Mike was frozen. He couldn’t move.
‘It was his fault? Will liked him?’
Mike felt his face heat up at the thought, Will liked him?
“I said get off of me!” Will yelled again, now kicking Mike into the groin. Mike rolled onto his side from the impact. Will now lunched over Mike, pinning him onto the ground.
Mike looked up at Will.
“Why won’t you hit me?” Will asked after a while of them just staring at each other.
“I don’t want to” Mike finally said.
Will looked confused under all of the pain and anger.
“Why?” His voice came painfully hoarse.
“I don’t know why I should” Mike answered.
‘Will liked him.’
“Because...” Will let go of Mike’s arms now sitting up. Mike followed him up. Will was now straddling Mike’s lap.
“Because I’m a- I'm a fa-”
“Don’t” Mike interrupted. “Why would I care about that?”
Will looked at Mike confused “because it’s disgusting and I- I like-” there was a pause and Will turned his gaze onto his lap.
“I like you”.
The last part of the sentence came out in a whisper that was barely audible.
Mike looked at Will.
Will liked him.
Mike could feel his lips tugging up and his face heat up. A laugh escaped his mouth. Will’s head shot up confusion spread on his face.
Mike started to laugh more at the sight of Will’s face.
Will blushed “why are you laughing!” He yelled.
Mike just kept laughing.
“Mike stop! I’m serious, why are you laughing?!” Will tried to claw Mike’s hands away from his face.
“Because...” Mike started intertwining they're fingers. Will tried to pull away, but Mike didn’t let him.
“I like you too” Mike finally said.
Will’s face dropped.
“Mike...” Will started pulling away, Mike panicked.
“No Will I’m serious!” He yelled quickly and got too close to Will’s face, earning a deep red plush from him.
“Mike...” Will stuttered, “you can’t joke about something like this”.
“But I’m not joking!” Mike defended.
“I've liked you since last summer!”
Will’s mouth opened as if trying to protest but then he progressed the words and he looked horrified.
Oh god did he say something wrong again Mike thought but was pulled away from his thoughts by hands flying to his now bruised face.
“Oh my god I’m so sorry! Oh god what did I do, you must be concussed!”
Wait, WHAT!
Mike took Will’s hands away from his face “Will I’m not concussed and even if I was it wouldn’t change anything” he said with a calm voice.
Will was lost in thought for a second. The heat from Will’s body was seeping true Mike’s clothes and Mike finally realized how they were sitting.
Oh god he hoped Jonathan wouldn’t come looking for Will. Mike would get his ass kicked.
“Wait so...” Mike was pulled away from his nightmare by Will’s voice.
“You like me?
“Yes”
Will did not look convinced.
“Like you know, like like?”
Mike laughed “yeah Will, like like”.
Will’s face exploded with the color red.
“Oh my god!” He tried to hide behind his hands, but Mike pulled them away.
Will and Mike stared at each other for a moment. Mike’s eyes wondered to Will’s lips and so did Will’s.
They got closer together second by second. Their lips brushed and Mike spoke.
“So...”
“Yeah?”
“Powerful punches you got there” Mike lifted his eyebrows and Will burst out laughing.
“Oh fuck you!” He pushed Mike onto the ground and got up.
Will started to walk towards his house. Mike staggered up onto his feet and started running after Will in a hurry.
“Will wait up!”
Will kept walking, but his face had never been this bright and his smile this big.
Mike finally cached up to him. They pumped their shoulders a couple of times and after a moment of silently walking next to each other, Mike took Will’s hand and interlocked they're fingers.