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2026-02-01
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This Is Not a Date

Summary:

First London apartment era. Phil asks Dan out on a date on Valentine's Day, except Dan doesn't realise it's a date at all.
Based on a rizcriz prompt.

Work Text:

Phil startled Dan out of his browsing by plopping down on the couch next to him. He wasn't saying anything, which was definitely unusual.

"What's up? Are you okay?" Dan put his laptop aside.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Phil was looking around the room and fidgeting with his hands. "Hey, so, umm.. I was wondering if... I mean, would you like to.."

Dan waited patiently for Phil to say whatever it was, but the rest of the sentence didn't seem to be coming. "Hey, what's going on? Spill."

"Uhh, okay, sure. Um.. do you want to go out with me on Saturday? If you don't already have plans with someone else. I was thinking maybe we could go see that new horror movie and then grab food somewhere?" Phil was rambling. It was a bit cute.

"Yeah, sure." Dan couldn't place why Phil was so worried to ask if Dan wanted to see the movie, they had literally discussed watching together a few weeks ago. He figured it was just a bad anxiety day for Phil.

"Yeah? Really? I'll book the tickets then," Phil's whole face lit up.

"Okay. Let me know what time it starts." Dan squeezed Phil's shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting manner. Sometimes physical touch calmed him.

Phil seemed to exhale, letting his shoulders drop and left the room without even looking Dan's way. Dan decided not to think much of it. Why would asking his best friend to see a movie make someone this worried?

Dan sighed to himself. He couldn't help but do that when he was reminded that that's all they were. Just friends.

He really did try to stop wondering what things might have been like if only he had been a little braver at the beginning, but lately it was becoming harder to shut those thoughts down.

When they started talking over Twitter a few years ago Dan fancied Phil. When they moved on to chatting for hours on end over Skype, Dan thought the feeling might have been mutual. Dan was no expert on flirting, but he was pretty sure that was what was happening. They were always teasing each other, commenting on each other's Dailybooth pictures, complimenting one another. That had to be something, right? There might have been a shirtless Skype call or two, during which they were both shamelessly ogling each other and trying to show off.

When they met for the first time in real life Dan had thought something would happen between them. He could have sworn he felt electricity zipping around in the air between them. Spending the first day in the city felt like a date, except that Phil didn't lean in at the sky bar or the Manchester Eye. Dan hoped that Phil would make a move at home instead.

That whole weekend Dan made sure to always be sitting close to Phil, to always smile at him, to look cute and wordlessly let him know that he wanted him. Dan thought couldn't have been more obvious. But Phil never made a move, and Dan went back home feeling a little confused. He liked Phil. Phil seemed to like Dan too. Why hadn't anything happened between them?

Of course, Dan thought about making a move on Phil instead. Yet every time he got close to it, he chickened out. Phil had made him so flustered, he didn't know what to do about it. It was not what Dan was used to. Sure, he'd done things with guys before, but it was usually in a dark corner at a party, never in broad daylight, never because of pure feelings. He was scared, so he waited.

Dan supposed that he had read it all wrong, that maybe Phil simply was that friendly. Because if he liked Dan, surely, he would have done something about it. Phil was older and more experienced, he'd even had boyfriends before. There was no way that Phil had misread Dan's feelings, not after months of Twitter stalking and intense flirting that resulted in Dan coming to stay at his house. Maybe he'd changed his mind after seeing Dan in person.

Dan loved Phil as a best friend. That was a fact he lived by, even if he'd be a liar if he said he wasn't still wondering about what it would be like to kiss him. Over time, he’d been forced to make peace with the idea that his feelings were unrequited, or at least subsided enough to let him survive in such close proximity to Phil. He had learned to live in the grey area, no matter what, he still had Phil as his friend, flatmate, and partner in all the YouTube madness. That had to be enough.

The worst part, though, was the shipping and speculation. Having to endlessly deny that anything romantic was going on between him and Phil, even to friends and family members, when in reality he had thought it too, had wanted it. Maybe still wanted it. Sometimes it got too much. Dan never knew how to balance it, always either pushing Phil away too harshly on camera, or looking at him with literal heart eyes.

It was exhausting, not only hiding his feelings from his audience, but from Phil too. He missed the flirty banter of their early days, the teasing and the easy compliments, but he couldn't risk Phil figuring it out. Would he be weirded out that Dan never got over him? Would he be uncomfortable living together because of Dan's stupid crush?

Instead, Dan focused on reminding himself that they were just very good friends. In the beginning he'd analysed every lingering look or touch, wondering if it meant anything. It almost drove him mad. It took over a year of Dan carefully repeating to himself things like 'Phil is just being a good friend' and 'this doesn't mean anything' for it to stick.

The problem was that Phil was making that very difficult. Even with all of this weighing down on him, Dan couldn't help but hope. Sometimes, when he forgot to pretend, Phil always responded in kind. When they leaned on each other after long, tiring days, when they could communicate silently across crowded rooms, when they were getting ready for events and award shows together, fussing over each other's suits and making sure their hair laid flat. In those moments the word 'friendship' didn't seem to be enough.

It didn't help that for the rest of the week Phil was still being weird about something. On more than one occasion Dan had tried to ask him what was bothering Phil, but he always either insisted that nothing was wrong or went bright red and changed the subject. Dan was convinced that something was definitely going on, even if he couldn't prove it yet.

It started with small things. Phil, who usually moved around Dan in their cramped kitchen and narrow hallways without a second thought, or shoved Dan aside when necessary, now had started saying things like 'sorry' and 'excuse me'. In all of the years that they had been friends Dan couldn't name one example when they'd said 'excuse me' to one another.

Then Phil didn't even roll his eyes or make fun of Dan, when he once again forgot which settings to choose for the washing machine and again the dryer a few hours later, and instead just did it for him, awkwardly leaning around Dan to twist the dials, before bolting back to his room.

One evening, when they were watching an anime after dinner and Dan draped his fluffy blanket over both of them, because it was February in London and their flat was fucking freezing all the time, Phil looked at him wide-eyed and blushed for some reason. At least this time he didn't run away and settled back against the cushions.

Dan was starting to really worry about what was going on with Phil and why he didn't want to share it with Dan, but he knew better than to push. Sometimes Phil just needed comfort and at least that Dan could provide. So, he continued to share his fluffy blanket, let it slide when Phil ate all of his cereal and made Phil cups of sweet tea in the evenings. Phil seemed to like that, at least.

The final straw was Friday night, when Phil accidentally walked in on Dan in the bathroom, who was brushing his teeth shirtless after a shower, and Phil actually yelped and covered his eyes.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Phil's face had gotten a shade darker under his pale hands.

"Jesus, mate, calm down. I am wearing trousers, you know," Dan looked down to check, just in case.

"Y-yeah, but y'know.."

"You can take your hands away, Phil," Dan spat in the sink. "You've seen me shirtless loads of times."

Dan felt like laughing when Phil took his hands away but kept his gaze firmly on the floor.

"Fine, fine, I'll go cover up my nipples, if it will help you think straight."

Dan heard Phil exhale as he left the bathroom. Did he make Phil uncomfortable?

On Saturday Phil was definitely nervous. Dan was eating his breakfast on the couch and Phil seemingly couldn't make up his mind if he wanted to join Dan or not. He kept leaving and coming back to sit with Dan, then making up excuses to go get or do something again.

"What's gotten into you today?" Dan asked when Phil sat down with his own cup of coffee.

"Nothing, just, you know. Excited for the evening," Phil smiled a bit and the hot steam from his cup made his cheeks heat up.

"Okay then, weirdo." Dan decided not to press the issue. They had time until the movie started at 7, so Dan went to film a video and left Phil to his antics.

It was odd to find Phil's bedroom shut when he began getting ready for the evening. They usually got ready to go out together, asking each other which shirts looked best and trying to at least match the vibe of the outfits. But, Dan supposed, that the cinema wasn't that serious, no one would see them in the dark anyways.

Dan got ready by himself and was surprised when Phil knocked on his door before coming in. He was wearing a dark button-down shirt and he had put some product in his hair and Dan briefly wondered if by comparison he was underdressed in his black jumper. 'Don't be stupid, there's no need to dress fancy to watch a movie with Phil,' he told himself.

"Ready to go, Dan?" Phil was smiling now.

"Yeah. Um, you look nice."

Phil beamed at him, "Thanks. You too."

The taxi to the cinema was a small car that had them pressed together from knee to shoulder in the backseat. Dan couldn't help but notice that Phil was wearing cologne. Usually when it was just the two of them, they didn't bother with it. That's why it was making his head spin, Dan tried to reason with himself.

They sat in the last row and shared a large popcorn between them like always. Dan was surprised that the movie theatre was half empty on a Saturday night, but the less people, the less of a chance he'd have to shush someone.

The movie was good. Definitely scary. Maybe even too scary for Dan, he hated to admit. It didn't even take 15 minutes for the jump scares to begin and on the second one he instinctively grabbed onto Phil's arm. Dan was about to apologise and let go, when Phil laced their fingers together and pulled their joint hands in his lap.

They didn't usually do this, but Dan was grateful that their brain connection went both ways, and Phil too could sense when Dan needed some comfort. It felt nice. Phil's hand was warm and Dan leaned over their shared armrest to make the angle less awkward. He could still smell Phil's cologne over the popcorn and got so distracted he lost track of the movie for a bit. Friends could hold hands when they're scared... right?

They let go of each other when the lights came on and Dan missed the touch immediately.

"Where do you want to go for dinner?" Phil stood up and stretched.

"Let's just walk around and see what looks good?"

The followed the stream of people out of the movie theatre and onto the street. Dan wondered what was up with all of the couples outside that day, nearly every one of them carrying bouquets of flowers or teddy bears.

It didn't take long until they stumbled upon an Indian place. It looked crowded, but they went in anyway.

"Sorry, but unless you have a reservation, the wait time would be over an hour," the hostess told them.

"Wow, a popular place indeed," Dan said once they were back outside.

They kept walking along the street and, weirdly enough, the same thing happened at two more restaurants.

Phil held the door open for Dan once again, as they tried their luck at a sushi bar. Tried being the key word here, as a frazzled looking waiter told them that they are fully booked for the night.

"What is it with everyone today that everywhere's full?" Dan wondered aloud, mostly to Phil.

"That's how it usually is on Valentine's," the waiter sighed and hurried away.

"Oh, right, I forgot Valentine’s Day was a thing," Dan turned to Phil.

Phil was looking at him strangely now but didn't saying anything. He just shoved his hands into his pockets and walked out.

"Do you want to try more places, or go home and order takeout?" Dan asked, trying to salvage the situation. Maybe Phil was just getting hangry.

"Yeah, let's go home."

Phil was silent during the cab ride, staring out of the window on the opposite side of the car.

"Hey, I'll order us Thai from the place you like. Sound good? It should arrive not long after we get back."

Phil finally turned his head. His expression was hard to read in the rhythmic flash of the streetlamps - pale, tired, and something that looked like defeat. "Yeah," he said, his voice sounding scratchy. "Fine. Thanks, Dan."

Dan couldn't shake the feeling that he'd done something wrong.

Back at the apartment Phil set about making the living room look as cozy as possible. He turned on the fairy lights they still hadn't taken down from Christmas and even lit a candle, neglecting to turn on the big light.

Perhaps Phil had a headache coming on, Dan thought. Sometimes the overhead light hurt his eyes. If that was the case, he knew Phil would want his comfort show playing and put on Buffy.

They settled on the couch and spread the takeout containers over the coffee table. The heavy silence from the cab was finally lifting and they spent the next twenty minutes dissecting the movie they'd just seen. Phil seemed to be perking up.

"I'm sorry tonight didn't go as expected. I should have thought to book a table somewhere," Phil turned towards Dan.

"That's alright. I completely forgot Valentine’s Day was a thing too."

"I didn't forget. Just.. next time will hopefully go more smoothly," Phil added with a shy smile.

"Next time? Did I forget we made plans again?"

"What? No, I meant- No. You're right, I shouldn't assume there will be a next time. Need to ask you properly and all that," Phil said in a mischievous tone, but he was smiling fondly, "Like a true gentleman."

Dan just chuckled, because he was getting confused now. What was going on?

Phil took one of Dan's hands in his, "Dan, will you go on a second date with me?"

Dan short-circuited.

"A second? Date?" Dan's voice sounded too high-pitched even for himself.

Phil pulled his hand away like he'd been burned and his face fell. "Oh.. sorry. Um.. I didn't realise this evening was so bad for you," Phil sounded small. He was curving in on himself, leaning away from Dan.

"Wait, wait, wait! What?! Phil! Was tonight a date?!" Dan was shrieking now, but he needed to get his brain back on track and kick it into gear.

Phil just looked confused, "What? Were you not aware?"

"No?! Hold up, how? When was this established?"

"I thought you knew..." Phil looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. "I mean, I asked you out. On Valentine's day. We held hands. I tried to take you to a restaurant. I-.. I tried.." he broke off and his voice was trembling lightly. "The candle, the setting.." he mumbled and waved his hand around the room. His lower lip quivered.

"Oh," was all Dan could manage to get out, "Phil... Shit, I am so sorry. I am a massive idiot." He smacked his forehead.

Dan reached for Phil's hand this time.

Phil seemed reluctant but gave in and let Dan take his hand. "What are you smiling at?" Phil wiped his eyes with his free hand.

"Phil, I'd love to go on another date with you." Dan was sure that he sounded like a lovesick fool, but he couldn't contain his smile. Phil wanted to date him. And he had somehow missed it.

"You.. What?"

Now it was Dan's turn to be anxious. "I thought.. that's what you wanted?"

"No. I mean yes, I do. But not if you're just saying that to appease me."

"That's not what this is! I like you, Phil! I thought you knew this whole time."

"This whole time?! What are you on about?" Phil's eyes widened in shock.

"Back when we met.. I had a huge crush on you... I think I might never have stopped."

"At first I wondered. But then you never said anything, so I thought you were just being friendly."

"I was afraid you didn't feel the same. You were older, and you had experience with guys. I thought if you liked me, you'd do something."

"Fuck. I feel like an idiot now," Phil was speaking softly, but smiling in full force, "In case it wasn't clear, I like you too, Dan. The whole time."

Dan couldn't contain himself anymore and lunged at Phil. They fell backwards on the couch, not dissimilar to how they did when Phil tackled him on his bedroom floor all those years ago.

Dan was hovering above Phil, his heart hammering against his ribs, "Phil, can I-"

Phil cut him off by pulling his head down and crashing their lips together. Finally, fucking finally, he was kissing Phil Lester. Somewhere, his teenage self was losing his shit. Right here, his adult self was too.