Work Text:
Remus had a habit of hiding in the ceiling. For someone who delighted in mayhem, he could be annoyingly stealthy when it suited him, and took great joy in dropping in on his fellow sides to scare them. Since tangling with Virgil though, Janus suspected he was using the space more to nap than to spread chaos and confusion.
He hadn’t seen Remus in several hours, which meant he was likely tucked away in some air vent or another. The silence was making him strangely edgy. Usually he’d appreciate any time he had to himself, without having to listen to Remus going on about his latest fascination. Being alone gave him a chance to decompress, have a drink and listen to some music. That’s what he’d intended to do, when he slunk back to his room after it became clear Remus wouldn’t come looking for him any time soon.
He’d made the mistake of taking off his gloves. They needed a wash- Janus never normally wore a single pair for more than a day, but it had been a stressful week and changing them hadn’t been a priority. Crossing to his dresser, he peeled the old gloves off. It felt good, until he made the mistake of actually looking at his hands. His right hand was smooth and unmarred. Normal. The left hand was scaled, nails curving into odd claws, but it matched the rest of Janus. What caught his eye, left him light-headed and staring, was the almost fern-like fractal crawling up his arm, scales turning a dull purple where the marks overlapped with them. The scars didn’t hurt- hadn’t even when they were new- but the sight still made his stomach churn.
Sloppy work, Janus thought vaguely, tracing the discoloured scales with his fingertips. Remus didn’t have a single mark on him, something he’d no doubt be disappointed about if he’d been aware it was a possibility. Apparently, Virgil had learned something after all.
Why was he reacting to something he’d lived with for years? It was over. He’d long since moved on from the period following his skirmish with Anxiety. All that was left was something Logan would probably call a thought experiment. What happens when you mix fear and lies?
Nothing pleasant, certainly. Less vivid than fear and imagination, if Remus was any indication, but perhaps more insidious. Lies had a way of slithering into your mind, of carving a thought so deep it felt true. Of turning fear into belief.
Thomas wouldn't dream of attaining his hopes through deceitful means.
It didn’t matter. Thomas had accepted him. He’d even managed to win over Patton. Though how true that still was after seeing Janus intervene on Remus’ behalf, a side Morality still hated- Well. As long as he had Thomas, he had a say.
One of you is enough.
Janus was known now. It was easy for Thomas to dismiss a side he wasn’t familiar with, one who scared him and made him question his morals. But it had been a long time since he was only Deceit. Thomas was too much of a bleeding heart to reject him now that he was Janus. Right?
…Remus had given his name out, too. Sooner than Janus had, and without a looming threat to his influence. Thomas still dismissed him out of hand. How much of Janus did the others need to see before they decided to play the odds on ignoring him?
That was the trouble with familiarity. There was always the risk that the others would decide Deceit wasn’t worth the benefits he brought. What was that lovely idiom? About cutting one's nose off to spite their face?
Enough of this. Janus dragged his gaze away from his hands, and didn’t look at them again until they were safely covered by soft yellow fabric. There. It’s like nothing ever happened.
Perhaps he could read for a little while. Get his thoughts in order, redirect them from such dire musings. A bottle of wine would help with that…
“Sneaky, you’re acting more like Janus every day-”
“Don’t bring him into this-”
Voices from higher in the mindscape rang suddenly clear. Someone was saying his name, summoning him- Remus. Had the others brought him out to talk without Janus noticing? They must have.
They would figure out Remus couldn’t perform his function- That there was a way to be rid of him-
Janus wasted no time in appearing before the others, tugging his gloves firmly in place. He could still salvage the situation, if he was quick enough. If Remus hadn’t wasted time in summoning him.
He ignored the slight tremor in his hands. It wasn’t too late.
Janus was met with five sets of eyes swivelling around to stare at him. Showtime.