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"Don't you think she's too old?"
"What?" Vickie froze, the flowers she was replacing hovered just over the vase.
"Robin. Don't you think shes too old?"
What on earth could Mike possibly mean by that? 'Don't you think she's too old?'—they were the same age! Sure, Robin was a couple months older, but really that's nothing. Did stuff like that matter to sixteen year olds? How many months is too old for them?
Pause. How on earth did he know about her and Robin? Had he seen? Were they careless? And why did he think Robin was too old?!
"Uhm—! No? Not really?" Vickie's hands shook as she pat her garbs down. Her heart thundered in her chest. At least he didn't seem to be judgemental about it? Yay? "Why uhm. Why do you think she's too old? I mean, really it's not that big of a gap, at least in my opinion, and I think that's the least of the issues that needs to be addressed here. Why are you even asking in the first place? How did you find out? Did you see something? I thought—I thought we were careful."
Mike blinks, takes it all in. He looks irritated. Okay. Maybe he's a little homophobic. Permission to panic granted.
"Are you mad? At us?" She gulps. This could be bad, this could be very, very bad. "I didn't think anyone would ever find out." She eyes Mike. Too scrawny—she could take him out. "Could you like, maybe, keep it a secret? Please?"
Vickie watched as his fists balled in his lap. Was this really happening? Oh god. Her hand hovered by the vase. It's self defense, she reasoned, violence didn't count if it's self defense.
And then he stilled, shoulders slack, head coming to rest in his hands. He let out a muffled groan. "So it's real, then?" Mike grumbled, peering up to look at Vickie. His hands clasped around his nose and mouth like a prayer, "Robin and Will. They're really dating?"
Vickie could laugh.
In fact, she did laugh. She laughed a lot. And when she saw the irritated look on his face she laughed some more. Robin and Will, Will and Robin—Dating? The concept was so foreign that it hadn't come to mind for even a second. There were tears in her eyes, both from laughing, and in part from relief that she wasn't going to be headlining The Hawkins Post any time soon.
"What the hell's so funny?" His nose scrunched up, Vickie almost wanted to pinch his cheek. "Why are you laughing? Isn't it like, a pretty significant age gap? Is that not weird to you?"
Through laughter, "No! No, Mike they're not—they're not dating. God, no. You're like, way off." She went back to shuffling through cabinets, pretending to be checking the inventory. Her brain was way too scrambled to do it for real after that scare. "No, Robin is kind of a weird guru thing to him. She's like—" Vickie waved her left hand around vaguely, searching for the right words—"She's like a gay Yoda."
"…Gay Yoda."
Nodding, "Yup. Gay Yoda."
"Gay?"
Oh holy shit. She's stupid. She's so, so, stupid. Her mouth had ran away from her. Again.
"Not—! Not gay! Not gay Yoda. Regular Yoda. Fuck!" She wrings her face with her hands and starts pacing the length of the room. The boy, still in the chair, was looking at her with wide eyes and entirely still, like he still hadn't fully processed any of the last conversation. Perfect. Vickie runs to the door, locks it, sent her most ferocious glare in his direction, hoped it was intimidating.
Mike gulped loud, eyes flickering between her and the door and the window. Surely he wasn't thinking about jumping out the window, right?
She approached him as if he were a wild animal, creeping very slowly and very steady toward him. Jaw set, cheeks puffed, she says—she demands, "You tell no one." She points a finger to his chest. "If anything spreads, I'll know where it came from."
His head bobbles, a deer caught in the headlight. "What about Will?"
"What?"
"Does Will know she's—" He puts on his best puppy dog eyes, she almost falls for it—"Gay Yoda?"
"I, well, yeah. Gay Yoda for a gay Luke, right?"
"Oh."
"Oh?" She eyes him, unsure.
"Will is gay?
He didn't know. Shit.
That's it. It wasn't mike that needed to jump from the window—it was Vickie. Seriously, something was wrong with her today. She wasn't normally this careless, right? This had to be a new development for her, she'd never once mentioned the words 'gay' or 'bi' or—whatever!—around anyone, unless she was absolutely certain they were safe. Tears welled in her eyes. She hid behind her hands and let out a shout. Who cared if old Mr. McGuire woke up from his nap, anyway.
Mike, who had jumped up and was very suddenly in her space, awkwardly hovered a hand by her shoulder. Better than a hate-crime, she supposed.
"Sorry. I'm sorry. I just, I didn't get much sleep, and–and– I just–I couldn't think! Please don't hate us—especially Will, I didn't mean to tell you. Shit, I can't believe I said that. Shit. Shit!"
The hovering hand flew to the back of his own neck, rubbing. "Uh, yeah. It's cool, I won't say anything. I was just," his jaw bobbed around words he couldn't quite say, "Curious?"
"Curious?" Vickie echoed, interest piqued.
"Yeah, curious." Mike looked around the room, eyes landing anywhere but on her, "So like…you know about this sort of thing, right?"
"What sort of thing?"
"Being 'gay'." The word 'gay' come out quiet and unsure, his face bright red. His entire body now was turned away from her and he picked at the ribbing of his sweater, fraying the edges ever so slightly. She nodded slowly before remembering he wasn't looking in her direction at all before squeaking out a small 'Mm-hm!'.
"Are you…?" his voice trailed off.
"Gay? Kinda, I—I like both." She straightened the photograph of the sleeping patient just for something to do. "Me and Robin, we—yeah."
Where could this possibly be leading? If her suspicions were right, which they rarely were, then maybe he was trying to come out? She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from squealing. If little Byers' crush liked guys, she realized, her and Robin could totally set them up. It was a no brainer really.
"Oh. Cool," he said, voice shaking. Vickie could burst with excitement, her bones thrummed under her skin.
"So, like," she started, trying to sound casual, "What about you? Anyone you like?"
He sucked in a breath behind her, almost like he'd been waiting for her to ask. Like he'd finally been given permission to spill his secrets.
"I don't know. Maybe?" Turning to look at him, he now sat down in the chair again picking at his sleeve, bouncing his leg. "I mean, shit. How do you even know if you're…?"
"Gay?" she supplied.
Nodding, "Yeah. Yeah, that."
Thinking of her own experiences, "What's your favorite movie?" God bless 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High'.
"I went to see Labyrinth recently. That was cool."
She frowned, "I don't know that one. Is there like—when there's a kissing scene, do you look at the guy or the girl?"
With a frustrated grimace, "I don't know! I've never really…thought about it," he said in a tone that made it obvious he definitely had thought about it. His face was flushed red now, and gosh! No wonder Robin took on this role with Will, this was fun.
Sliding into the chair next to him, beaming, "…Have you thought about Will?"
Mike nearly jumped from the chair, sputtering and stumbling. This was fun, this was so much fun! Vickie pulled at his arm, giving him her own biggest puppy dog eyes, "It's fine, I won't tell him!" She giggled, "I'm so good at keeping secrets—I'll probably forget it anyway, so you can tell me. Please!"
"Why would I—How—" Wearily taking his seat, he sighed, "Was I that obvious?"
Hiding her squeal was an impossible task. They liked each other, they really did! This was the best possible outcome; she didn't get hatecrimed, she got someone to (kind of?) come out to her, and now she was getting to play matchmaker with Robin. If she agreed, that is. Which she will.
"No! Not really, at least I don't think so. I mean, I kind of guessed because you were super concerned about his—" she made quotation marks with her fingers—"'relationship' with Robin. But before that you were fine, for sure. I couldn't tell at all. If anything, I thought it was—" STOP!
Heart racing, she blanched. So close to fucking up—again. At least she caught on to it this time, otherwise Will, and probably, definitely, Robin would have strung her up and paraded her around the streets as a warning. Vickie mentally pat herself on the back, job well done. No more outing people's business. No more, she says!
Mike was looking at her expectantly still, waiting for her to continue. "—entirely un-obvious, yeah. Totally cool about it, you were."
"Who's gay Yoda, again?" He chuckled, head down and twisting a fiber from his sweater around his finger.
"So. You like him?"
Nodding, "I do."
Grappling at his arm and sinking her fingers into his sweater, Vickie blurted out, "Well you have a chance, then! You should totally go for it! The worst he can say is 'no'!" He groaned at that, eyebrows pinched like he was in pain.
"That is the worst thing he could say, though. If he says 'no' then I die. I'll literally die, I think. On the floor. Immediately. I'll just stop." He paused, "You and Robin are—you're together?" Vickie nods vigorously, "How'd she ask you out?"
A good question, really. How did they begin dating? One minute they were volunteering, making a hundred PB-and-J's a day, and the next they were cuddled up together, watching shitty romcoms and making out on the sofa. Now that she thought about it, she doesn't think either of them actually officially asked the other to date. They just sort of, were.
Mike watched her, waiting for an answer. Vickie could practically see the shimmer of hope swirl in his eyes, and tried her very best to organize her thoughts before she spoke.
"It, uh. It took a while, I guess. Neither of us knew the other was into girls at first, so we kinda just got closer? Physically? Like, she'd touch my arm, I'd touch her leg, and then one day she asked if I wanted to go see a movie. She got me flowers—daisies, my favorite. It was sweet. After that we just sort of kept hanging out and when I had enough courage, I kissed her."
Gawking, "You kissed her first?"
"Is it so hard to believe?" She huffed a laugh, shy now. "What I'm saying is don't make it a big deal. Test the waters. If he's not into it, you'll know." He nodded along with every word, a soft amazement evident on his face. "Maybe drop some hints you like guys too. He's shy. At least he is with me." She nudged his shoulder. "You'll get there eventually, you know. You got this."
He smiled a light smile before finding he couldn't quite look her in the eyes anymore. Speaking into his chest, "Yeah. Yeah, thanks."
The door swung open and what do you know, Robin with Will in tow stood at the entrance. Mike was staring at Will, something like determination had settled between his shoulders. Vickie grabbed his shoulder as she stood, giving it a small shake. He's so got this.