Chapter Text
Dennis breathed in the fresh air, petting the sheep’s thick wool as it wagged its tail in delight. Another one sidled beside him before flopping down and mindlessly chewing the blades of grass that rippled with the soft breeze.
Puffy clouds floated in the pastel blue sky, and the warmth of the sun hit his face just right. He learned to focus on the good that surrounded him, especially after all the horrors that came with working in the ED. It was a perfect August afternoon, and he was the most fortunate he had been in a long time.
Dennis had a roof over his head, money in his bank account, and a little piece of home whenever he visited Amy Miller’s farm. After the unfortunate death of her husband, he was surprised that her offer still stood, but he took it immediately. Unlike Trinity’s untrue comments, he wasn’t there to replace Teddy. Amy longed for help, and Dennis longed for home, even after everything.
Maybe that made him weak, yearning for a place that never wanted him the way he did. Or perhaps it made him strong because, despite what he went through, he still managed to see beauty in the life he lived before.
Shirley, the oldest female sheep on the farm, opened her mouth to loudly baa. Dennis flinched at her sudden presence but smiled after. His hand glided over her warm, white wool. She must have just finished her excessive sunbathing for the day.
“Looks like you guys need some shearing, huh?”
The sheep bleated around him.
Dennis smirked. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
He retrieved the giant shears from where he placed them on the ground. He discovered from the skittish sheep in Nebraska that establishing a connection was the most important aspect of caring for them. He treated ED patients the same way. Well, he did most of the time, but some days he resonated with them, almost wanting to run away from it all.
Whenever that thought crossed his mind, Dr. Robby was always there to pull him back. Literally and figuratively. The man never stopped touching him until the Fourth of July, when he left for his sabbatical.
Dr. Robby deserved his break; Dennis knew that all too well, but it was only a month into his three-month vacation, and he craved Robby’s existence like he was the blood flowing through his veins.
That night on July third was especially embarrassing. Dennis never said God’s name in vain or begged for things from Him, but that night, he pleaded with Him to let Robby stay. It was selfishness and greed he’d never speak of again, especially because the night of the fourth was even worse.
When Robby said his goodbyes before he left, all Dennis could do was say he’d be there when he came back. His heart erratically beat out of his chest, so violently that he was afraid that Robby could feel it through his scrub top when his grip tightened on his shoulder.
Then Robby gave him a quick smile, let him go, and moved on.
Dennis could remember a high-pitched ringing peaking in his ears and exhaustion weighing his bones, making each step feel like a drag as he forced himself to walk away, even when the rest of him wanted to turn back.
The whole car ride home, he squirmed in his seat at the idea of Robby being disappointed in his sendoff. He imagined it: his stern face, his fleeting touch, and the shake of his head.
They hadn’t spoken since, obviously. But he’d been kicking himself, replaying it in his mind and wishing he could take it all back to admit something more. Even when Trinity said goodbye, she made jokes, told him he earned his break, and smiled.
There was nothing else he could do but wait until Robby returned. If he ever did. After everything was said and done, the Fourth of July shift was basically PittFest 2.0.
Dennis’s clutch on the shears tightened. As he used his finger to switch on the power, the obnoxious 70s music of his ringtone exploded into the empty field.
Dennis gasped as the sheep frantically ran in separate directions away from him. Once they traveled to the four corners of the fenceline, he leaned his head back, squinted at the sun, and cursed under his breath.
So much for their twenty-minute bonding moment and “establishing a connection”.
With his phone still vibrating and blasting in his pocket, he frustratedly retrieved it. He barely got calls, period, so whoever it was, it better have been worth it.
If it were Trinity begging him to swing by a drive-thru for lunch, he would kill her.
But, surprisingly, no, it wasn’t Trinity.
It was—
Dennis’s eyes widened, and his phone slipped through his sweaty hands.
It was Dr. Robby.
Why would he be calling him? Why now?
Should he answer? Of course, he should, but how should he? Was this a test? A buttdial? He said he’d only use the number for emergency texts or calls. Was this an emergency?
Dennis grabbed his phone from the ground, and as he picked it up, he pulled multiple blades of grass with it.
He bit his lip, ruffled his hair as though Robby could see him, tapped the call button to answer, and brought the phone to his ear.
“Dr. Robby…hi.” His voice cracked, and he scrunched his face in embarrassment.
Great start.
“Whitaker, hey. Glad you picked up,” Robby said on the other side.
At the sound of his voice, Dennis already felt blood rushing to his sweaty face. Conditioned stimuli and responses through his body and soul would be the death of him.
“I’m, uh, glad you’re alive.” Robby chuckled at his response, but Dennis wasn’t sure if it was at or with him, so he rushedly added, “And I’m glad you’re enjoying your break.”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I am for the most part, but I just got an email saying that I needed to sign some paperwork for Gloria by a certain due date, and well,” Dennis heard Robby’s fingers scratching the roughness of his beard, “I forgot to do it before I left.”
Dennis nodded and couldn’t help his smirk. “And when is this due date by chance?”
Robby paused. “It might be tonight.”
Dennis let out an amused breath when he didn’t mean to. “So, do you want me to take a picture of it and email it to you?”
“Yeah, I’ll sign it virtually and try not to botch it. Unless you want to copy my signature.”
Dennis walked to the bottom right-hand corner of the field, where Shirley was, with the shears in his hand, smiling hard at Robby’s suggestion. “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, sir.”
“Ah, not if you master the unreadability of it. It’s just a few lines. You’d be great at it.”
When Shirley spotted the shears, she stood up. Dennis quickly threw the shears out of his hand and tentatively sneaked closer. He raised his hand, and his fingertips touched her warm wool once again. Immediately after, she sat back down and ate her mouthful of grass, hopefully not smacking loud enough for Robby to hear.
Dennis’s shoulders sagged in relief. “I don’t think I’m at that level to be forging my superior’s signature.”
Robby pleasantly huffed, like he was proud. “Good answer.”
A zing of praise electrified his body. Dennis rested his head on top of Shirley’s back while continuing his strokes. “I’m assuming you want this done as soon as possible?”
“If you could, that would be great.”
Dennis nodded, feeling lighter already. There was no bad blood. No awkwardness. Just a simple order that he trusted him enough to do.
“Alright, yeah, I’m on it—”
“BAAAAA.”
Dennis swiveled his head to Shirley with horror in his eyes. She leaned her head down to consume more grass, not a problem in the world. Dennis stressfuly rubbed his face. Of course, her big mouth had to say something.
“Uh, is everything okay?” Robby asked. He almost laughed, but cut himself off to ask, “Are you at the hospital?”
Great. Robby was going to think Dennis was a slacker. Dennis side-eyed the sheep beside him with disdain.
Thanks a lot, Shirley.
“I, uhm, no, actually. I’m at Amy Miller’s farm right now. She was married to Teddy Miller, the burn victim, the day PittFest happened. Sometimes, I help her out,” Dennis couldn’t help but stammer. “It’s my day off, but I can definitely drop by. It’s no problem.”
“Jeez, kid, why didn’t you tell me that?” Robby seemed more serious. “I wouldn’t let you go in if you didn’t have to. I’ll let someone else do it.”
Robby's scolding, though good-natured, made Dennis lean up from Shirley’s body. “No. Seriously, it’s fine! I have nothing else going on. There’s no reason why I wouldn’t be able to.”
“You have to have that work-life balance, Whitaker. Trust me, I’m the guy to tell you.”
Just like his first day.
“Besides,” Robby added, “you’d get caught up in tasks, I know you would. So determined and helpful, you’d work a full free shift. For this signature bullshit, it’s not enough for you to come in and do. I’ll get someone else.”
Dennis pursed his lips. “Okay,” he stubbornly agreed.
Robby scoffed on the other side. “Would you have seriously gone into work on your day off to do that for me?”
Dennis didn’t hesitate, “Yeah. Of course.”
He should’ve waited longer to respond, but not when his thoughts were really telling him, There’s not much I wouldn’t do for you.
Robby went silent. Dennis stiffened, worrying that he had done something wrong or said what he thought out loud, until Robby tsked.
“Well, I won’t keep you,” he said. Dennis’s heart sank to his feet, looking back up into the sky as he did on July third. “I’m gonna have to call around and be the boss again.”
“Do you miss it?” Dennis asked. “The Pitt?”
Robby shifted or shrugged. Dennis couldn’t tell which. “Sometimes. I find myself needing control, even when I know I don’t have it anymore. No one’s calling. No one’s looking up to me. I’m realizing how small I am, I think. More than I ever have.”
“Hm,” Dennis said, not expecting such a vulnerable answer. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Ever since their first day, there has been a sense of, I see you for what you are. Most people didn’t get it. Maybe he never would’ve gotten the chance to get it if he didn’t stumble into Pedes or recite that scripture. But he was glad he did. It made him feel worthy. Sometimes his theology studies really bit him in the ass.
Dennis picked his nail as he watched the clouds pass. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing. If no one wants you, you’re free. ‘So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’” He swallowed and rested back on Shirley. “John 8:36. I had to remind myself of it when I left home. That everything would be okay. And it will be. For you, too.”
Dennis gripped the phone tightly when he heard Robby rubbing his skin. Was it the nape of his neck? His muscular arms? Or maybe his hands that were always reaching for him?
Robby sighed, but it was pleasant, like a weight lifted off his shoulders. That was all Dennis could hope for.
“I suppose I should get to it, then. I’m glad you’re doing well, kid. Good luck taking care of the sheep.”
Dennis smiled, blush reigniting his face. He’d blame it on the heat. “Thank you. I’m glad you’re doing well, too. Everyone misses you.”
“Ah, don’t go lying, now. I highly doubt that.”
“It’s true!”
“Hm.” Robby’s hum caused his heart rate to speed as Dennis unashamedly closed his eyes. “Alright, I’ll see you, Whitaker.”
Dennis smirked as warmth flooded throughout his body. “Bye, Dr. Robby.”
Robby ended the call, and Dennis’s nonchalant act completely fell apart as he buried his flushed face into Shirley’s wool.
“I simultaneously owe you everything and nothing,” he muttered to her.
“Baa,” was all she said in response.
+++++
After Dennis sheared Shirley, he stepped into the quaint white farmhouse, belonging to the Millers. In the dining room, Amy fed, or tried to feed, Teddy Jr. in his high chair, but he swiveled his head away whenever the spoon was near his mouth.
“Come on, sweetheart. You need to eat,” Amy whispered.
Dennis walked from behind Teddy and messed with the little hairs on his head. Teddy laughed with joy upon seeing Dennis and opened his mouth. Amy quickly spooned some in. When she took the spoon out, it was clear.
Amy’s shoulders sagged as she looked up at Dennis with a smile. “Thanks. Teddy’s been a little rascal for some reason. I’m glad that you’re here. I could not have dealt with Shirley and him as a combo.”
Dennis smirked and ruffled Teddy’s hair some more, causing another high-pitched laugh. “Tell me about it. She got me in trouble over the phone.”
Amy tilted her head as she fed more mush to Teddy. “I was wondering who you were talking to. You seemed happy.” She smiled. “Like, really happy.”
The one thing he could do without having to explain his weird feelings for his boss was to shrug with a smirk. “Really? I thought I was normal.”
Amy’s eyebrow raised. “You’re blushing.”
“I'm not.” He was.
She giggled exactly like Teddy. “Seriously? Who is it? You have to tell me now. You can’t leave me hanging.”
“I can, actually.”
“Dennis.” She held her hips and used her motherly voice.
He sighed and scooted out a chair, sitting down on the comfortable beige cushioning. “It was just Dr. Robby.”
Amy clearly wasn’t expecting that answer. “Your boss?”
“Yes.”
“The guy who’s, like, twice your age?”
“Probably. I don’t know.”
Definitely. He did know.
“Huh.” Amy had a mischievous glint in her eye. “Interesting. I thought he was on break.”
“He is.”
“And he called you just because?”
Dennis shook his head, amused. “You’re making a big deal out of this.”
“I think I’m reacting appropriately because you were the one giggling like a schoolgirl who had a crush back there.”
“Wha—No—I was not!” Dennis stuttered with his eyes wide open.
Amy sniffed. “Very convincing.”
Dennis glanced over, and even Teddy didn’t believe him with the look he gave.
“No, listen. He thought I was on shift and wanted me to send him the paperwork he needed. That was all. Plain and simple. Nothing else.”
“Wow. Paperwork. No wonder you were flustered,” she sarcastically said.
Dennis bit his tongue, knowing his face was getting a shade redder.
Amy smiled and scooped another pile of food for Teddy with the plastic blue spoon. “Fine, I’ll let it go. But I like seeing this look on you. It’s nice. You’re always so…unsure. Or worried. Or a little sad.” She reached out her other hand to touch his arm. “But you deserve to feel. Don’t push it away. Have fun. Crush on older men.”
Dennis sighed, but couldn’t help but mirror her smirk. “Amy.”
“I’m just saying!” Her eyes sparkled. “We’ll start dinner once I’m done feeding Teddy. I want some of the famous Whitaker homemade chili and cinnamon rolls.”
Dennis’s stomach growled, reciprocating her excitement for the meal.
As Amy continued her struggle with Teddy, Dennis looked outside at the field where he was with Shirley. Just an hour ago, he was buried in her wool with a stupidly huge smile on his face. Even though his feelings were bound to be a disaster, he couldn’t help but want to let it in. He tried for so long to push it down. Well, he thought he did.
But had his feelings really been so obvious the whole time? Would not pushing it away make him free?
Throughout the night, it lingered in his mind—from dinner at Amy’s house to his dark room in Trinity’s apartment.
As his eyes closed, he settled on the fact that it didn’t matter. Robby still had another two months before he came back, and it wasn’t like he’d call him again.
It was just that one time.
…Right?