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Shane feels dread creeping up his spine, his blood running cold in his veins. He turns on his heels and runs down the hallway, not even bothering to wait for the elevator and barging down the stairwell so he gets down the two floors separating him and Ilya faster. He is out of breath when he bangs on Ilya's hotel room door, not so much from the physical strain, but from the total and utter panic. He doesn't care that he could be announcing himself to an intruder, and that he could be making so much noise other players in the adjacent rooms could poke their heads out and find him desperately trying to get into Ilya's room, he keeps on knocking with his whole forearms.
The door swings open and he is yanked inside the room by his shirt. The door slams closed and Shane realizes Ilya is the one who brought him in. He grabs at him, grasping for reassurance that he is unharmed. He looks distraught, but he doesn't have a single scratch. He's mostly naked, only a towel covering him, hanging low at his waist. His bright blue eyes are round and he still has a vice grip on the front of Shane's shirt.
"Are you— Please tell me you're okay, are they still in here? Did something happen?"
"I didn't know who to call, I am sorry I brought you into this, it is the stupidest thing I've ever done" he says, looking over his shoulder towards the bathroom.
Shane brings a hand to Ilya's cheek, forcing him to look back at him. His heart is beating out of his chest and Ilya gulps audibly, his eyes darting back a few times.
"Do they have a gun?" he says, his voice barely above a whisper, his left hand searching for the door handle.
Ilya's brows scrunch up and he tilts his chin down, his eyes going back and forth as he blinks rapidly.
"What?"
"Can we make a run for it?" Shane insists.
Ilya's eyes grow wide, his mouth hanging open, his shoulders slouching. He grabs Shane's face and rests his forehead against his. Then he starts laughing.
"Shit, I am so sorry Hollander," he can't stop his whole body from shaking with laughter. "Oh my god, I did not say—" he's wheezing, his head dropped to Shane's shoulder now.
"Ilya!"
"There is a giant spider in my bathroom, the biggest thing I have ever seen, I fell in the shower and ran out of there and I did not know what to do," he raises his head again so he looks him right in the eyes. "You thought I was being attacked?" Ilya is crying laughing now but he strokes Shane's hair in a sincere apology.
Shane's whole body relaxes, a loud sigh escaping him. He closes his eyes, trying to ground himself and then he is laughing too.
"You fucking asshole! I thought some stalker had found a way in here! You could've said something!"
He hugs Ilya roughly and tugs at his half-wet hair, breathing him in and letting the anxiety leech off of him. Then he pushes him by his shoulders into the wall, shaking his head in total disbelief.
"A spider? You're scared of spiders?"
"You have not seen this spider. The size of my head Shane."
"There's no way they get this big in Florida, we're not in the Amazon!"
"Be my fucking guest!"
Shane rolls his eyes so hard his head follows and he starts toward the bathroom. Ilya follows him with a hand on his shoulder, hiding behind him like a child. He pushes the door open and there's a large hand pointing toward a corner of the room in his periphery. His eyes search for the bug for a while.
"Holy shit!" he stumbles back into Ilya, encasing him between the door and himself.
"I told you!"
"Why is it so big?" he brings a hand to his hammering heart and gulps.
In Ilya's defense, anyone with any sense of preservation would absolutely freak out at the sight of the creature. With its legs, the thing is probably a whopping five inches. Shane had only seen them this big in nature documentaries about Australia. It's probably a huntsman native to North America. He tells Ilya so.
"Oh thank you, it is very useful to know its name," he scoffs, still holding onto Shane as a human shield. "I miss Russia."
Shane silently agrees he much prefers harsh winters over whatever the hell this is. They need to do something.
"Okay, okay. Is there like a champagne bucket in here?"
"Yes, on the dresser over there," Ilya wags a finger in its direction.
They retreat from the bathroom, their eyes locked on the spider to make sure it's not following them. Once in the safety of the bedroom area, Shane launches into action. He grabs the bucket and puts the complimentary bottle on top of the dresser, highly tempted to open it and take a swig of liquid courage. Instead, he finds the room service menu and unfolds it so he can use it as a lid. Ilya is looking at him the whole time, distractedly biting his thumbnail.
"What are we going to do with it when we trap it?" he asks and Shane isn't there yet.
"Let me just… Catch it first, and then we can figure the rest out."
Ilya nods as Shane braces himself. They re-enter the bathroom and the spider has moved, dead center in the middle of the wall between the shower and the vanity. Ilya gasps as Shane tries to shake the nerves off so he can be the hero of this story. He takes the bucket by the bottom, leaving as much space between his hand and the creature as he possibly can. The angle of his wrist is awkward however, holding it with only one hand, so he turns to Ilya and presents him the room service menu.
"You need to hold it while I imprison this thing," he explains. "You might have to slide it in between the wall and the bucket, too."
"No, no way. I am not getting close to that," he points at the arachnid.
Shane's head falls between his shoulders and he takes a deep breath.
"Okay, fine, but be quick when I tell you to hand it to me."
Ilya nods vigorously. He takes the menu and stands behind Shane in a fighting stance, ready to jump at any occasion. Shane lets out the air from his lungs and turns back towards the spider.
"Three, two…" he counts aloud, forcing himself to move. "Oneeeee," he starts screaming at the same time as Ilya, the bucket banging incredibly loudly on the wall as it lands perfectly over the creature.
His heart is beating out of his chest, but he thinks the worst is done.
"Okay, menu, quick, quick," he presses with all his strength against the bucket with one hand, waving the other in the air behind him for his scaredy-cat lover to follow the orders.
He presses the paper against the wall and takes another deep breath, realizing he needs to lift the bucket ever so slightly to slide it in. He rolls his shoulder back in anticipation.
"You've got this Hollander," Ilya says behind him.
Emboldened by the praise, he hisses and makes the move swiftly. He lets out an incredulous laugh when he realizes he's done it. He turns to Ilya with a huge grin on his face and is met by an equally bright smile.
"Spasitel' moy," Ilya breathes out, looking to the sky. "You have rescued me."
Shane laughs and he turns back to the bucket, his smile faltering. What do they do now?
"Um. How do we make sure this doesn't move?" he points with his chin.
"I don't know. Do we have… An anvil?"
Shane throws his head back in a chuckle.
"You been watching Looney Tunes?"
Ilya is scowling at him, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. He looks around the room, trying to find a solution while Shane thinks, too. He has a lightbulb moment and dashes out of the bathroom, coming back with his stick tape. He tears a piece with his teeth and hands it to Shane. One strand at a time, they tape the makeshift cage shut until they are both certain the spider can't escape. Shane rests the bucket on the vanity and finally takes a step back. He shakes his hands out, releasing the bundle of nerves he was holding onto.
Ilya is on him instantly, pushing him against the glass door of the shower, one hand on his throat, the other on his hip. He kisses Shane like he actually saved him from an armed intruder. His tongue laps at Shane's lips and he lets it in, tilting his head back a little so he can deepen the kiss. He caresses Ilya's back until he meets his mop of sandy curls and grabs at him. They're breathing loudly, humming into the kiss. Ilya finally lets him get some air as he goes down to kiss his neck softly.
Shane's eyes flutter open and he takes Ilya's face to better look at him. His lips are swollen pink and his gaze wanders appreciatively all over him. He feels a blush on his cheeks as Ilya dips in once again for a chaste peck on the lips.
"That was very hot," he admits to Shane.
"Yeah?"
"If you didn't have stupid flight in the morning I would be sucking your cock right now."
Shane groans, desperately wanting to let him, but knowing Ilya is right. He slowly traces Ilya's bicep with his index finger, both of them enraptured by the movement as their chests touch briefly and retract with their heavy breathing. Ilya's skin breaks out in goosebumps, and he makes a sound like a wounded animal. He dives for Shane's lips, capturing his mouth and licking into him repeatedly. They break the kiss before it escalates. They watch each other for a moment, and Shane swears he now sees a completely different side of Ilya. The night had been high in emotions in more ways than one, after all.
"We need to get rid of this thing," he says, looking over Ilya's shoulder to the bucket.
"I think I have an idea," he bares his teeth and there's a glint in his eye.
***
They're crouching against the wall in the hallway two floors down, Shane depositing the bucket in front of room 1315. The menu now only holds by two tape strands, the others having been pulled loose. Ilya gives two curt knocks on the door.
"Room service!" Shane says, pitching his voice higher.
They both gun for the stairwell door, running as fast as they can. They peek through the tiny window into the corridor just as Dallas Kent opens his door, looking around in confusion. He picks up the bucket and the taped menu slides halfway off. The Toronto centre lets out a blood-curdling scream and drops the makeshift cage on the ground, the spider running towards him.
Shane and Ilya slide down the door, laughing so hard they're not making any noise. Ilya is grabbing his arm and holding his stomach while Shane can feel his cheeks hurting. Their legs are tangled together. Their laughter calms down after a while and they're sitting together in comfortable silence, twinkles in their eyes. Shane is overtaken by the certainty that he is going to marry this man. It may take them 20 more years, but he knows he is looking at his best friend in the eye right now and he won't let him slip away again. He wouldn't have pranked an asshole like Kent with anyone else. Ilya smirks at him and he looks so young. There's a fresh, bright expression rounding out his features and Shane can remember seeing that same hope and mirth on his face that night in Montreal when they finally gave in to each other, almost a decade ago now. Ilya brings him in for a kiss and Shane forgets they're sitting in the stairwell of the All-Star Game hotel. They'll be fine.