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Ren, Ryuji and Ann were passing through Shibuya Station Square when they heard the noise. They just came out of the underground mall, Ryuji and Ann carrying bags filled with snacks and cookies and Ren with a bag of manga he thought Futaba might like, since the trio were going to be hanging out with her tomorrow. They could hear the crowd from inside the mall, but it was even worse than they thought it was once they actually saw it.
Apparently, the Shibuya police force had the bright idea to address the Medjed scandal from last week by hosting a Q & A event in Shibuya Station Square. An even brighter genius on the force had the idea to get Akechi involved, since his reputation took a hit as the Phantom Thieves fixed the Medjed problem. So, of course, the massive crowd was a mix of his obsessive fan girls and obsessive Phan-stans (Mishima’s word for them), who all just wanted to scream at Akechi for one reason or another. They basically acted as a military blockade, so the group was gonna be stuck there for a while. Morgana hopped out of Ren’s bag to try to find a way to get them through the crowd. The rest of them just stood there, twiddling their thumbs.
“C’mon man, for real?”
“This guy’s really gotta ruin everything for us, huh?”
Ren watched the detective prince on stage. “Our force dealt with Medjed as best as we could, given the resources we had. We’ll be dedicating more attention to our cyber-crime department, and-”
“Why didn’t you just stop them!?” Someone yelled in the crowd. “Aren’t you supposed to be a prince, or whatever!?”
“...Well, I’m only a detective, so I don’t have the jurisdiction to do that.” For just a second, Ren caught Akechi gritting his teeth.
The thief smiled. “Wait, y’all, look at him.”
The other thieves turned to watch Akechi.
“As I was saying, our force attempted to deal with the group with the resources we had. We think it’s fortunate that they dissolved and never acted on their threat-”
“Thank the Phantom Thieves, you bastard!” Someone shouted.
“Shut up!” Someone else yelled, “You don’t get to talk to Akechi-chan like that!”
Akechi squeezed the microphone in his hands like it was a stress ball.
Ann and Ren covered their mouths to snicker while Ryuji shook his head and laughed. “Yo, he’s pissed! He looks like he’s about to lose it!” Something flashed across his eyes, a sign that Ryuji got an idea for once. He dropped his bag. “Wait, wait, do you guys think we can break ‘em?”
“What? No, you idiot!” Ann shook her head despite the smile on her face. “Don’t do that, we’d look suspicious!”
Ryuji gestured to the crowd. “Nah, we’d blend in here! Everyone else’s doing it, it’s fine!”
“You read my mind,” Ren said. “Dude, we should make it a game, who can piss him off the most?”
“Bro, that’s what I’m saying!”
“Hell yeah, dude!”
Ren, someone who was definitely smart but just enjoyed being stupid, and Ryuji, the human embodiment of a golden retriever, both excitedly turned on Ann to peer pressure her in unison. “C’mon, c’mon, let’s do it!”
“...You know what?” Ann shrugged. “Why not? It’ll be fun.”
Ren gave Ryuji a high-five. “Ok, me first!” The blonde turned towards the stage and waited for Akechi to speak again.
“...The Phantom Thieves may have proved useful this time, but I stand by what I said. No one knows how they operate, or their exact methods, and relying on them could be very dangerous-”
“Hey, dumbass!” Ryuji shouted, “You don’t got a clue about anything, do ya!? I hope the Phantom Thieves steal your heart next!”
Akechi’s eyes quickly darted in their direction before returning to the general crowd, which only made the three snicker louder.
“Yo, he hated that!” Ryuji said. “I got this in the bag!”
Ann shook her head. “No way. I bet he’d be more mad if we pretended to be one of those fan girls.” She turned towards the stage and waited to pounce.
“...Honestly, I do occasionally wonder if they would attempt to steal my heart. Their fans say they only target the corrupt, yet they believe the criminals would be volatile enough to attack someone merely for their criticism. If their own fans believe such a thing, it’s deeply worrying-”
Ann put on a stupid voice and shouted, “Ooooooh, nooooo, don't listen to them, Akechi-chan! I couldn't stand my fav getting stress wrinkles!”
Akechi twitched and they all snickered even harder. “See? He’s already getting wrinkles around his eyebrows.”
Ryuji laughed. “Man, his blood’s gotta be boiling! Serves him right!”
“...Child’s play.” Ren grinned. “I know how to really piss ‘em off.”
Ann clapped her hands with excitement. “Ooo, what’re you gonna do?”
“I’ll show ya.”
Their leader dramatically cleared his throat and stepped closer to the stage. Ann and Ryuji waited expectantly, prepared to burst into laughter.
“...There’s nothing to be worried about. If they ever attempt to attack one of our own, our force will do everything in its power to defend itself. We will never-”
Ren cupped his hands over his mouth and screamed:
“AKECHI-KUN!!! I WANT YOUR KIDS!!!”
Akechi’s body froze completely. He pressed his teeth together with stationary, up-turned lips, as if he physically couldn’t move them into the hateful scowl he so desperately wanted to make.
Slowly, as slowly as he possibly could, he turned his head to stare Ren dead in the eyes.
The entire crowd followed his movement, swiveling their heads towards the thieves. Ryuji and Ann stared at Ren with their mouths hanging open. Everyone was silent.
Ren couldn’t help himself. He pointed to Akechi and winked. “You’re mine~”
Akechi frowned.
He finally frowned. Ren pulled out his phone and took a picture of his face.
Ryuji hung his head and Ann pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Dude.”
“Our cover is dead.”
“Worth it. Couldn’t be more worth it.”