Work Text:
A familiar metalic click of the door opening was the sign Kaveh needed to know Alhaitham had made it back home.
Another afternoon of another regular day within another regular week. Alhaitham was never even a minute late unless it was agreed beforehand that he'd be spending more time outdoors running one errand or another.
Kaveh was just about to wrap up his work, at least for now, so the timing was perfect.
In quick movements, he rolled up the half done blueprint he's been drawing, placed all of his pencils, chalk, erasers and measuring tools in his special leather bag, and stood up. Taking all of his belongings off the desk all the way to his room.
Alhaitham's steps echoed in the hallway as Kaveh's own room's door shut behind him.
The space wasn't small, originally. But over the period of time Kaveh had spent living in this house, he managed to accumulate enough belongings to make it feel much smaller.
From large tools strewn against the walls, to boxes of revisions saved from previous commissions, layers of papers, of chipped measuring tools he already bought replacements for, piles of unsharpened pencils, cloth dirtied with white chalk remains, notebooks brimming with sketches, both work related and not.
He didn't have much surface space to place things spaciously, so they simply built up from the floor into Kaveh-height towers.
The newly worked on piece was carefully placed on top another older one, and his tool bag was tucked between two other boxes he simply hasn't had the time to put anywhere else.
His only shelf was already taken with other more essential items meant for basic daily use. And of course, Mehrak's charging station.
Kaveh wasn't a messy kind of person, in fact, one of the activities he found most soothing and theraputic was cleaning. In a house like this, full of Alhaitham's endlessly growing collection of books and parchment, he didn't have to worry about this well of work running dry.
And despite that, his own room looked like that belonging to a fugitive. Or perhaps an early stage hoarder.
He'd lie if he said it didn't bother him, but what else could he do? This wasn't his house, he was there because he could work and pay his rent. It'd be far too impudent to take over a space that wasn't contractually his.
A fulfilled sigh and a stretch of his back later, Kaveh stepped back out of his room towards the kitchen. Now would be the optimal time to set up dinner. No much work needed to be done, as they still had enough leftovers from yesterday's stew to fill their stomachs for another meal. What a relief.
As he crossed their living space, he heard Alhaitham release a heavy, somewhat discontent sigh from the office. Did something happen? Someone got on his nerves at work?
His curiousity got the best of him, and he shifted direction. Right as he was about to peek into the office to observe just how bad Alhaitham's state might be, the man himself walked right out of the room and stomped to the center of the house. Stopping with his back turned to Kaveh.
"Do you even live here?"
Alhaitham's question caught Kaveh off guard. What does that mean? Of course he did. He lived here for almost a whole year by now.
The tension in the air made Kaveh linger with his answer, long enough for Alhaitham to resume before he could respond.
"Where is your toothbrush?"
What? Toothbrush? What was he talking about?
"In my room---"
"Toothpaste? Hairbrush? Books? Tools?"
Alhaitham didn't quite sound angry, but there was something rough about his tone. He was unhappy, but Kaveh couldn't figure out what his questions had to do with this brand new mood.
It must have been over a decade since the last time Kaveh had seen Alhaitham wear any expression beyond his calm indifference. Let alone the upset of his currently worn frown. But he knew Alhaitham had a little smidge of a temper, so it didn't shock him too greatly.
"I-In my room---..."
"Why?" Alhaitham's voice was somewhat harsh, "You see my toothbrush every time you brush your teeth. In the bathroom," he crossed his arms. "Why isn't yours there?"
Kaveh's mind was entirely blank.
"Well, I just keep it tidy that way and---"
"Your tools. You don't even have a desk in your room, where do you keep them?"
Why is he asking such strange questions? Did Kaveh do something wrong? Did he leave too many of his items out in the open? He couldn't recall a single instance of it happening, but perhaps he missed something in one of the times he was too swamped with work.
It still was not pleasant to get grilled like this out of the blue. Nervousness settled at the pit of Kaveh's stomach.
"Listen, I don't know what got into you but I always take my things back, okay? I put my tools in their bag in my room so they won't take space and---"
"We have an office," Alhaitham didn't let him finish, again, "There is a desk in it. The desk where you work. There's enough space for the tools there."
"Well, sure, but then if you'll need the spot for anything---"
Kaveh gestured as he spoke, as if his hand movements would somehow help Alhaitham understand the sincerity of his words. But Alhaitham's deterministic speech didn't waver.
"YOU were the one who complained about that desk standing empty, covered in dust, when you moved in."
Still no malice in his tone. Kaveh hesitated for a moment, eyes averting away from his roommate if only for a brief moment to collect his thoughts. But he was right, Kaveh did very pointedly bring that fact to Alhaitham's attention back then.
"... Well, dust is awful and---"
Alhaitham inhaled sharply, bringing Kaveh's attention back to observing his strange behaviour. In a swift motion, he raised his arm and ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it backwards and letting it fall back onto his face.
He seemed frustrated, and Kaveh couldn't find anything but himself to blame for it, even if he knew not of the reason.
It took a moment for Alhaitham to exhale deeply before he locked eyes with Kaveh again.
"You leave everything you touch exactly as you've found it. Like a ghost. Like the things you do don't matter," Alhaitham had a subtle rawness to his voice, "I feel like I'm still living alone even when you're home with me."
Kaveh took another moment to pause and truly think on what was said. The way Alhaitham spoke made it sound like he was upset, he didn't approve of the way things have been going, or how Kaveh had been carrying himself in the house.
But realistically, wasn't that exactly the best possible outcome?
Alhaitham had always been a solitary person, even when they were younger. Wouldn't living in the house be done most efficiently while unbothered by the presence of others?
Kaveh kept the house in pristine condition, and made sure he didn't leave any personal strays behind, so why was that upsetting for lone wolf Alhaitham?
"Isn't that what you want...?" He asked in a quiet voice, cautious, inquisitive.
"No. I want to live with you."
Alhaitham answered resolutely, strong and assured. But Kaveh still wasn't entirely convinced. Or rather, he couldn't quite grasp the depth of the sentiment Alhaitham was so patiently trying to express.
They... Already live together, so what was the problem?
"... Uhm..." What was he supposed to say?
"We're both adults. You won't get scolded for anything. Feel free to leave your things anywhere you wish."
What was Alhaitham trying to say? Surely it couldn't be this simple? Kaveh understood his words, but couldn't truly comprehend the meaning behind them. It felt like a ploy, like something was missing.
A test of Kaveh's capabilities as a reliable roommate perhaps? He's always kept his cleaning duties in check, was something still wrong?
"But it's harder to clean---"
"So what?"
"So... what...?"
"So what if it's harder to clean? You aren't filth to be mopped away, Kaveh. You're a resident of this house as much as I am. You're my roommate."
Kaveh's heart suddenly trembled in his chest. Yet his mind remained within the realm of confusion.
"I..."
"Come with me."
Alhaitham turned and walked a few steps into their living space, his movements appeared as intentional as ever, and Kaveh noticed there was something he was seeking in the area. He followed and stood beside him wordlessly.
After a moment of uncertainty, Alhaitham grabbed the first holdable item within their vicinity; A cushion from the divan; And handed it to Kaveh.
"Now drop it."
What kind of instruction is this? Kaveh held the cushion, puzzled and unsure, then made a move towards the divan to place it back in its previous spot.
However, before he could complete a single step, Alhaitham grabbed onto his arm firmly, keeping him in place beside him.
"No, drop it right here."
Kaveh turned to look at Alhaitham, at the cushion in his hands, then back at Alhaitham again. Was this another test of sorts? Was Alhaitham planning to reprimand him the moment he'd allow the cushion to hit the floor? It didn't seem like Kaveh had any other options though.
Very cautiously, and with a heavy layer of skepticism, Kaveh let his hold of the cushion go. It dropped down on the floor with a very quiet puff of air.
"Good job."
Huh?
"Are you alright? What is the meaning of this?" Kaveh sighed and started kneeling down to pick it back up, but Alhaitham held onto his arm strongly enough, not allowing him to move.
He handed Kaveh the blanket that rested on the side handle of the divan instead.
"Now drop this."
"What are you doing?"
"Do it."
Alhaitham's intensity was enough to deter Kaveh from pushing back too hard in defiance. It was just too odd.
Still, beyond confused, the strange pit in his stomach grew. He let the blanket drop down on the floor too.
"Good."
What...?
Alhaitham then grabbed a few papers from the coffee table, signed with the Akademiya's official stamp, elegantly printed and hand annotated in Alhaitham's signature green ink, he placed them in Kaveh's hands.
"Drop them."
"What? No. You were just reading them yesterday, you even went to bed late because of them--- They're important!"
"Drop them."
"Haitham---"
"Just do it," Alhaitham looked tormented.
If anyone was to peek into Kaveh's mind at this very moment, all they'd find is a swirling array of question marks.
This couldn't be anything other than a weird way to examine Kaveh, right? But again, what else could he do?
Just to save himself the possible future mirth, he pursed his lips and glanced up at Alhaitham suspiciously.
"D-Don't get upset about it later, then." He warned, gulped nervously, and dropped the papers.
They scattered and fluttered on the floor around them, generally unharmed by the short floating period in the air. Phew, no trouble caused by this.
He looked back at Alhaitham, only a little afraid that he'd be given a nasty look in return, but instead he received an encouraging nod of approval.
"Good, now come here."
He led them to the kitchen this time, pulling Kaveh along by the hold on his arm. Without any hesitation, he opened their utensils drawer and handed Kaveh a teaspoon from their supply. Simple, metalic, normal teaspoon.
"Drop this."
"Huh?" Kaveh started feeling a whiff of discomfort at this very slowly escalating play his roommate was forcing him into. "I seriously don't know what's gotten into you."
Alhaitham silently urged him with glance. By now, Kaveh understood he would not be getting any repercussions for these strange deeds. He sighed and dropped the teapoon.
It fell straight down and clanged on the floor.
Alhaitham didn't wait before handing Kaveh their wooden dough roller.
"Now this."
He didn't wait this time. Kaveh just stared at it as he let it fall. It thudded on the floor, and rolled a bit until it nudged against the counter's lower frame nearby.
The next item placed in his hands was an old small pan that they never used even once since Kaveh had moved in. It was slightly dented on one side, and the handle's heat protective cover started falling loose.
Kaveh's restlessness from the whole ordeal rose back to the front of his mind when he felt the weight of the item he held. This was too much.
"You can't be serious, Alhaitham, I cannot drop something like this---"
"Drop it, Kaveh."
His hold on the handle clenched tighter, he wanted to stop this. To fully defy Alhaitham and put an end to this weird flow of events. But Alhaitham was so determined, the hand holding onto his arm didn't seem to be easing up either.
Despite the strangeness, no sign of anger, malice, or danger came from his roommate expression or energy at all.
Kaveh sighed, and dropped it.
A loud CLANG of the metalic pan hitting the tiled floor caused Kaveh to flinch slightly, but Alhaitham's hold on his arm remained strong, unyielding.
The roundness of its edges kept the pan rolling for a moment longer, until it landed face down near Alhaitham's foot.
Before Kaveh could conjure a proper reaction to the event, Alhaitham had already handed him his new target. A plate that has gotten slightly chipped about a month after he moved in, caused by Alhaitham bumping it against the sink's edge while washing it.
What in Teyvat was even going on anymore... Kaveh's nerves were curling under his skin at this point. He's had enough.
"Have you lost your mind? Let go of me. I don't understand what you're doing---"
"Drop it," Alhaitham refused to let go even through Kaveh's halfhearted attempts to pull away. "Kaveh."
Any bystanders would have thought this was a full display of Alhaitham'a rage, but Kaveh knew better. The pleading in his tone was so intense he might as well have begged with a 'Please', too.
He stayed silent for a long time, staring at Alhaitham and figuring absolutely nothing new out. The man in front of him was emanating true desperation. Maybe he should take him to Bimarstan.
"Drop the plate."
Alhaitham reminded, pulling Kaveh out of imagining the way a clinically insane Alhaitham would have to be restrained by the poor doctors. What a terrible scene that would be.
Kaveh sighed heavily, and dropped it.
It fell flat down and shattered with an awful breakage sound, the shards splattered in all directions around their house slipper wearing feet. This was unpleasant. Kaveh's nerves were on edge and his heart was beating fast from the stress of being practically locked into this situation with no easy escape.
It was wrong, no, it wasn't exactly wrong, it just felt wrong.
"Happy...?" Kaveh then asked, exhaling the breath he held in his lungs until after the noise had faded fully.
"Yes."
"Don't you hate loud noises?"
Alhaitham was already searching for something else in the cabinet.
"I do."
"So why---"
Before Kaveh could finish speaking, Alhaitham pulled out his favorite, most used, perfectly Alhaitham hand-shaped coffee mug. The same mug he had drank from mere hours ago before going to work. The same mug Kaveh knew to fill exactly to the level of his liking when making them both their evening cups.
Kaveh stiffened up when this precious item was handed to him.
"No."
"Yes," Alhaitham urged, "drop it."
"No."
Stern green eyes looked at him. Unwavering. Kaveh knew deep down that there was no use fighting about it, against it. Alhaitham was stubborn, and he's already made his choice. Probably already mentally bid his goodbye to the well used tool.
"Drop it."
"But it's your favorite! I can't drop it, it'll break." Kaveh insisted still, he was scared. Not only for the social consequence of it breaking, but for the selfish way he himself had already formed a sort of connection to the mug.
He's spent hours, days, weeks, washing this mug, staring at it, filling it, enjoying its presence beside his very own container. Not that Kaveh ever really had a favorite like Alhaitham did, he could use whatever as long as it was easy to clean and put back in place.
But this small piece of pottery, despite being a simple bland, washed, worn green, was a part of Alhaitham, somehow.
"You're right. It is my favorite. And it will break."
"Then why---"
"Drop it."
"No! Stop this!" Kaveh stirred again, his body vehemently fighting against the very idea of possibly harming such a valuable thing, "I don't know what this is about but you're scaring me---"
Alhaitham stepped closer, the soles of his house slippers crunched on the shards of the previously broken plate. He released his hold on Kaveh's arm only to immediately grab onto his hands.
Kaveh stilled at that.
Alhaitham's palms were warm and gentle, easily big enough to wrap wholly over his own. Although only his hands were covered, Kaveh sensed that this gesture was meant for his entire body. He almost felt the warmth closing around his shoulders.
For a second, Kaveh worried Alhaitham will use this moment of carelessness as a means to pull his hands apart and force the mug to drop, but he hasn't moved. Simply stayed still, keeping them both tied to one another in the strangest game of push and pull Kaveh's ever experienced in his life.
The mug remained tightly clutched between his trembling fingers.
A deep guttural sigh left Alhaitham's throat, but it wasn't defeat.
"Drop it, Kaveh," despair in his voice, "Please."
Kaveh's breath hitched at that. Alhaitham never before had begged Kaveh for anything. His initial immediate instinct was to follow his gut and do as he was asked. But no, not this time. This was too weird, too confusing.
He averted his eyes away from his taller roommate and looked down at his own shaking hands, nervous, scared again.
"Did I do something wrong?" He asked, voice quiet and cautious, "Are you mad at me? Why are you doing this? Just let me go---"
"No. I won't let you go."
Alhaitham interrupted, his voice stronger this time, louder, raw.
"No matter what you do, no matter what you break, I'm not letting you go, Kaveh. Not again."
His bigger, sturdier, thicker hands began shaking too, it took Kaveh a moment to realize it. Despite that, Alhaitham still didn't pull away or let loose of his hold on Kaveh.
"W... Why are you doing this...?"
Kaveh carefully locked their eyes together again.
"I want you here, Kaveh. I want you here with me. In our house, our home. I want you to live with me, I want to see your tools on the desk, hairpins on the coffee table--- I want to see your toothbrush right next to mine when I wake up for work."
Alhaitham began, not breaking the eye contact. These words came straight from his heart, from the core of his body and soul, they vibrated under Kaveh's skin like ripples. His heart rattled strongly in his chest.
"I don't care about any mess. I don't care if it's harder to clean." He inhaled deeply and continued still, "I want you to know that you can break anything. You can destroy this place for all I care. Just---"
Alhaitham's voice caught in his throat, he clicked his tongue and exhaled sharply, as if trying to hold back getting choked up. He lowered his head a little, and looked at Kaveh again with intense sadness in his eyes.
"Just don't hide yourself. Don't hide your life from me."
Kaveh was speechless. Mouth agape and mind both empty and entirely full at the same time. Somehow, his vision started getting a little blurry around the edges.
Alhaitham's expression softened immediately, from misery to a glimmer of hope, and in that moment, the mug that meant so much slipped away from Kaveh's hands and fell down onto the floor.
Both Alhaitham and Kaveh flinched at the surprising new shattering noise. Another batch of shards plopped around them yet again, joining the previous arrangement across the tiles.
In strange unison, they both turned to look down at it, then back at each other.
At first Kaveh's whole body was struck with true fear, afraid he'd be met with a furious Alhaitham ready to let him learn the real consequences of breaking something as priceless as his favorite mug.
But Alhaitham's face showed nothing but gentle acceptance.
The tension in his chest eased out and began fading away, the warmth of Alhaitham's hands still carefully holding onto his own took its place instead.
A sneaky, tiny, cautious involuntary smile stretched his lips. Kaveh felt his muscles contorting for it, but couldn't do anything to stop it.
Alhaitham blinked at him surprised, and all of the remaining worries that found a home in Kaveh's guts fizzled away when his roommate smiled right back at him. Warm, caring, compassionate. His dimples were cute. Alhaitham had always been handsome, but even more so when he smiled in this very moment.
"Haha..." Kaveh heard himself let out a shaky chuckle.
"Good job. Thank you, senior."
Kaveh's whole body suddenly felt loose. All of the springs taut by his fears and stress have been eased at once. He nearly lost balance, unsure what to do with his hands. The sensation was truly foreign, like he was but a visitor in his body instead of its main operator.
The world around him started changing angles as he began falling in what felt like slowmotion, but Alhaitham quickly wrapped large sturdy arms around him and pulled them together into a tight protective embrace.
His big hand rested on the back of Kaveh's head, holding him safe and secure, like a pillar of stone in the center of rocky ocean waves.
Kaveh hadn't realized just how heavily he has been breathing until his face was carefully buried into Alhaitham's shoulder, the heat of his own exhales made his face feel even hotter than it already was.
His vision blurred further, his eyes were burning, and wet.
The fingers stroking through his hair were reassuring, and so very soothing compared to the thunderstorm Kaveh was going through inside.
"You did good, Kaveh." Alhaitham's voice was crystal clear, and yet muffled from the loudness of Kaveh's own heartbeat at the same time, "It's okay."
He didn't quite cry, rather continued heaving wetly into Alhaitham's body for a while longer.
Something inside him has been broken alongside the plate, alongside Alhaitham's favorite mug. And yet all of his pieces were so lovingly cradled in the man's arms. He felt terrified, but safe. Lost, but not alone. Empty, and so very full he was spilling at the brim.
However long it took to calm back down, Kaveh didn't know, but Alhaitham hasn't moved a muscle, nor loosen the tightness and possessiveness in the way he held him.
Maybe he was right, everything around them could be broken, but it wouldn't matter to Kaveh as long as he could remain just like this for eternity.
They only began moving when Kaveh was the one to start pulling away, relieved after the release of possibly years-held steam from his system.
"Now let's clean up so we won't get cut, hmm?"
Alhaitham set him free right away, he let his hands slide from around Kaveh, up his arms and onto his shoulders to ensure Kaveh wouldn't suddenly lose balance again. Kept him sturdy, stable, safe.
In a daze of relief Kaveh had never felt wash over him like this before, he simply nodded.
Quietly and slowly, together they began cleaning up. They sweeped the shards, threw the pan away, picked up the dough roller, the spoon, the papers, the blanket, and the cushion.
Kaveh was vaguely aware of the process happening, he knew his body was following the motions, but his mind was still hazy, like he was floating on a cloud all the way through the rest of the day.
Long after Alhaitham fell asleep in his room across the hall, Kaveh snuck into the bathroom and placed his toothbrush beside Alhaitham's.
That wasn't as scary as Kaveh thought it would be. The view of their brushes together wasn't bad at all.
He fell asleep in mere seconds after the short yet meaningful endeavor.
Alhaitham returned from work with Kaveh's favorite Lambad's order, a new bottle of expensive wine, and a warm dimpled smile that next evening.
Kaveh has never felt more alive than when living right here with him.
The world could break, but not him. Not them. Not Alhaitham.
Kaveh finally, truly understood what Alhaitham meant.
They were in this house, this home, this life, together.