Work Text:
“Incoming in three, two-”
Mike has barely the time to look up from his phone as two things happen at once: shouts and car horns blare in his earphone-free ear, and the world tilts upside-down. He flails as his feet leave the pavement and a body slams into his back, arms circling his waist.
His phone slips from his hands and he waves his arms trying to grab it again, a rush of wind moving his hair back from his forehead just as a car slams into the side of the building behind the spot he was standing in two seconds earlier, waiting to cross the street. He grips it with one hand, and the arms around him twist him until he ends up sprawled on - Spiderman?
“Sorry about that,” the voice is muffled through the mask but Mike can hear the apologetic smile in it; he blinks fast and opens his mouth, once, twice, but nothing comes out except for a whispered “Holy fucking shi-” immediately interrupted by a nervous cough kick-started by his heart jumping in his throat as the now two minutes total gone by between him trying to add a few words to his latest work while waiting for a traffic light to turn green and ending up sprawled on freaking Spiderman catch up with him.
The arms around him come untwined but only to move up and grip his shoulders, firm and comforting, to hold him still as he tries to calm down.
“Hey - it’s okay, you’re alright.”
Mike sucks in a last deep breath and looks back at the gray patches marking Spiderman’s - Spiderman! - eyes.
“I tried calling out to you to give at least a bit of a warning but then the car - wait -”
Mike’s brain at this point has finished scrambling around in his head, the total of minutes passed since he scoffed at his phone and deleted a comma and then almost died has now gone up to six and oh shit, Spiderman has an eyeful of said phone's screen.
The thick black lines framing the gray eyes of the mask seem to knit together in concentration and Spiderman sits up a little, dragging Mike up as well; Mike’s arm is trapped between their torsos and the hum of adrenaline is starting to become screaming mortification. The fingers he’s still holding up his phone with have gone numb.
“MJ’s gaze follows Spiderman as he walks towards the edge of the roof, ready to take off- MJ?” Spiderman’s voice goes from steady and deep to excited and slightly higher the more he reads along. He snaps his head up to look at Mike again. “You’re KeepingItWheel?!”
Seriously, Mike thinks. Fuck my life.
---
Cico Buff - chapter 12
by KeepingItWheel
Notes: sorry guys for the off-schedule update, i almost got run over by a car from which honest-to-god real spiderman saved me. so. in other news, i might delete my entire ao3 existence as it appears spiderman is actually reading these fics. prepare accordingly. thank you.
comments (53)
shelob33: dude we love you but it seems the voices might be getting to ya. spiderman saving you and reading your self insert fanfic? that grass outside is looking very touchable, go explore we'll wait
wi-se-lliam: I hope you're doing okay!! Please, please don't delete your stories. I mean, I'm sure Spiderman is extremely flattered a talented writer like you is writing about him :)
madmax: just went through your whole account, you have me hollering my guy never get up
---
“Actually-”
Mike jumps, a gust of wind blowing the wisps of hair that managed to escape his hat back in his face. He splutters and turns left, squinting his eyes against the mid-morning sun; his medieval literature class had been canceled and he’d opted to escape his friends’ incessant teasing about his - apparently - constantly daydreaming, far away look. They went from being glad he was still alive to making him wish death had took him after all when he stuttered his way through who and how actually saved him. At the park he at least didn’t have to live in fear of Lucas ready to sing-song something about Spiderman - who actually just dropped out of the sky and is sitting next to him, leaning slightly towards the battered old laptop open and perched on Mike’s legs.
He points a finger toward the screen and clicks his tongue. “Thor didn’t immediately start a viking chant when I lifted Mjöllnir, he cried first. For like, two hours straight.”
Mike’s first instinct is to scoff and contradict, which is strange because it usually happens with his best friends and not arachnoid-powers-having superheroes. “Two whole hours?”
“Yeah, he brought me to Asgard to celebrate.”
“That’s bull- wait, you can actually lift Mjöllnir?” Mike shrieks the last part, slamming his laptop shut. A few people walking past turn to look at him, the fact that Spiderman is just sitting on a bench shaking with frankly adorable giggles far less eye-catching than the lanky guy with the yellow beanie reaching sonic frequencies with his voice.
“I can! I guess that makes your fan theory canon, right?” He nods towards the laptop, sounding way too smug. Mike facepalms; he can feel his ears burn with embarrassment.
“You weren’t supposed to read that- how are you even here? Why are you even here?”
“A cat got stuck on a tree over there, behind the fountain.”
Mike follows the way his gloved finger is pointing, eyes landing on a kid stroking an orange tabby. “Thankfully I was swinging by.”
“Yeah - ‘swinging’ by,” Mike parrots, deepening his voice. “Lame.”
“Hey! I literally do that, I reserve the right to be lame.”
Mike hates the way his stomach swoops down, ears getting redder by the second. He starts clearing his throat only to choke on his own spit when Spiderman says, “I really like reading your stories, they’re fun.”
See, Mike was trying to suppress the little detail about having his life saved that saw Spiderman recognize his fanfiction pen name on sight. A weird coincidence, he would repeat to himself when the flood of embarrassment set magically free by him trying to fall asleep resulted in even more mortifying flailing across the bed. You’re alive! Focus on that!
“I’m trying to process the fact that you read fanfiction about yourself.”
Spiderman giggles again, and it sounds adorable - again; Mike feels himself smile back through the panic of trying to ignore the fact that he made up a whole character only slightly of the self-insert kind that features in his stories as Spiderman’s one true love.
“It’s not my fault! My sister's greatest joy is teasing me mercilessly, she constantly sends me things she finds.” He inclines his head conspiratorially and Mike has lost control of his chill, so he widens his smile in response, letting it become a bit of a smirk.
“So you have a sister. Shouldn’t you be protecting info about yourself?”
“Lots of people have siblings. The world is full of people with siblings.”
“She sounds like my best friends, Lucas and Dustin,” Mike rolls his eyes, relaxing back on the bench. “They’ve never stopped teasing me since we’ve been eight.”
Spiderman hums, posing a hand under his chin. “That’s weird, my sister knows a Lucas and a Dustin. Friends from college.”
“The world is full of Lucases and Dustins.”
This time the giggle is a full laugh. “Touché. It must be also full of-” he gestures a hand towards Mike, his voice taking on a soft tilt.
“Mikes. I mean- Micheal, I’m Mike.” He tries shrinking a bit on himself under the weight of his own blush.
“Michael, Mike.” Spiderman turns to face forward, stretching his legs further on the ground and crossing an ankle over the other. He stares up at the sky and Mike stares at him until he hums again and Mike jumps.
“Just Michael, Mike? Perhaps a middle name?”
“What?” Mike breaks his stare, gripping the laptop on his legs a little harder. “Yeah, it’s James.”
“Michael James. Huh.” Mike freezes the moment that wondering huh comes into being.
Please, spare me.
“So, MJ. Like the MJ in your stories who’s also the love of my life.”
Mike smacks a hand on his forehead, immediately recoiling back and shoving his laptop in his bag. At this point his face is on fire, it’s rivaling the sun shining on this damn park he just had to go to this morning, a pit of endless embarrassment laid there by destiny itself traitorously waiting for him.
“The world is full of people whose names start with Ms and Js, isn’t it? It’s just a character with common initials.”
“It indeed is - but MJ also happens to be my favorite character in your stories.” The grin in his voice bleeds through the mask with a little fondness. This is insane, Mike screams at himself in the blessed empty void of his mind. He opens his mouth praying for snark to come out instead of heart-shaking induced stuttering, but Spiderman’s head suddenly whips towards the line of trees behind the fountain five seconds before a loud, tiny voice shouts his name.
“Spidey! Spidey!” The little girl from earlier is waving her cat-free arms up over her head, gesturing toward a tree. “Henry went up on the branches again!”
“Coming!” Spiderman shouts in reply, hands cupped around his mouth. He jumps up and bounces in place, turning back to raise the patches of his eyes in the sign of a smile stitched for Mike.
“I’ll see you around, MJ.” He extends an arm to throw a web, but before swinging away he adds, “Thank you for giving me a soulmate.” And he’s gone; Mike watches him make his way towards that fluffy orange tabby and thinks, seriously. Fuck my life.
---
Worthy of
by KeepingItWheel
Notes: whatever, have this oneshot about spiderman lifting the picky cosmic moral hammer which is apparently an actual thing that happened.
comments (102)
chtulhu-din-tei: "As the hammer of the gods came down with a roar, the boy holding it looked up: the skies were falling, and it was up to him to stitch them back together." lets fucking gooo
vecnettaicecream: ?? we've never had interviews from the 'supes about spidey actually lifting mjollnir tho. did he confirm it to you personally or what
pangea: Thor crying for two hours seems a tad excessive, enjoyed the rest.
Jane11: felt really realistic, loved it! keep writing author
---
Mike regrets accepting the invite from Dustin and Lucas for a party over at Columbia the moment he spins the bottle on the floor and it lands on him; no wait, he regrets it the moment someone proposes playing spin the bottle and before he can bolt towards a safe corner of the room, his best friends drag him down to sit between them.
He regrets it even more when Dustin grins a touch too widely for it to promise anything else but disgrace in his imminent future.
“An easy one,” Dustin declares, sharing a knowing look with Lucas. “Go talk to the super cute guy you’ve been staring at all night.”
“What?! No way, I didn’t even pick dare- and I haven’t been staring!”
“You walked into a wall because you couldn’t look away for two seconds. There’s proof right here.” Lucas says, flicking the small bump on Mike’s forehead and ignoring the resulting ow! of protest.
“He might finally be the one to make you forget your epic crush on Spiderman,” Dustin adds, reaching over to close Mike’s mouth hanging open in disbelief with a hand under his chin. Mike swats him away; he can’t even refute the bump of shame shining on his head.
“And if I refuse? What’s the price?”
“You get up right now and reenact Kate Bush’s choreo in the Wuthering Heights music video.”
“Complete with singing.”
They high five over his head and Mike just alternates staring at them for a few seconds. He sighs and gets up, waving off the cheering coming from around him. “Do you even sleep at night or do you just plot ways to torture me?”
“Go baby, go!” Dustin shouts, prompting Super Cute Guy with the mole on his lip and the soft-looking hair and the warm hazel eyes to look towards them. Mike had been able to steal a bit of his attention in the form of shared glances from the moment he’d seen him walk in, laughing with a girl with fiery red hair that Lucas had actually been staring at just as pathetically, thank you very much; he’d thought, oh. He’s beautiful. And promptly smacked face-first into the wall.
But now Super Cute Guy isn’t staring into his very soul and looking away shyly; he’s watching Mike walk towards him with something so tender in his face that it feels like they’re old friends about to meet again, a rising smile waiting to bloom the moment they’re face to face.
Mike is taller than him, and that’s the last thought he has before his mind goes blank and he starts rambling.
“Hi- you’re- my friends!” he exclaims, pointing a finger back over his shoulder to indicate their general location. Super Cute Guy is still smiling that tender smile, amusement making it even more blinding. “They dared me to talk to you. I, you know, I just think you’re so insanely pretty and - you must think I’m so lame.” He rubs a nervous hand on the back of his head, trying not to look away to the nearest window and contemplate leaping away from his never-ending awkward self.
Super Cute Guy giggles, and Mike freezes. It sounds familiar. Way too familiar. And then he speaks, deep voice making Mike’s world tilt upside-down again.
“Not at all, MJ. I’m William, Will.” He leans forward to nudge Mike, eyes twinkling. “I think you wrote my soulmate into existence.”
Seriously, Mike thinks, swallowing hard and feeling something slot into place between the pieces of his heart. I can't believe this is my life.
---
Cico Buff - chapter 13
by KeepingItWheel
Notes: infinitely blessed <3
comments (89)
orinoco_flow: I'm sorry did my slow burn emotional support fics rating just got upgraded?!?!
dragongate: okay it's happening everybody stay calm they're making out I repeat they're making out I can't handle this at 2am bro
wi-se-lliam: Bonus kudos for the gravity-defying kisses :*