Chapter Text
Author’s Note: I really don’t feel like illustrating this, but in places where dialogue illustrations would go I’ll write something like this:
Ava: INSERT DIALOGUE HERE!
Rowley: ZOO WEE MAMA!
And then you can picture Ava and Rowley or whoever I’m talking about saying those things. Unless you’re Veda. Sorry Veda.
First of all, let me get something straight. This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. The other thing I want to clear up right away is that this was MOM’s idea, not mine. The only reason I agreed to do this at all is because I figure later on when I’m rich and famous, I’ll have better things to do than answer people’s stupid questions all day long. So this book is gonna come in handy.
I figure right now is a good time to start writing about my life. Today is my first day of 7th grade, and my first day of middle school at a REAL school. My family moved from Indiana to Massachusetts a year ago, but Mom said I needed to be homeschooled for a year for my “emotional wellbeing”. That sounds really dumb, but I honestly can’t argue with her. My elementary school was full of JERKS.
I guess I should explain that I’m transgender. Transgender basically means you were born with a guy’s body but you’re actually supposed to be a girl. Even though I’m transgender I don’t really understand how it works. I said this to my older brother Rodrick one time and he said maybe God screwed up. It kind of made sense, so the next time we went to church I asked:
Ava: GOD, WHY DID YOU SCREW UP?
I got in BIG trouble and we never went to that church again. Anyway, ever since I was in preschool, I was always telling everybody that I wanted to be a girl and trying to hang out with the girls instead of the boys. At first, Mom and Dad kept telling me I couldn’t be a girl because I was a boy and they made me do boy stuff. As you probably guessed, the boys on my elementary school sports teams did NOT like that I wanted to do girl stuff instead.
Kid: SISSY!
[insert illustration of some kid pushing pre-transition Greg over]
The boys at school were always picking on me, and even though I acted more like the girls, none of them wanted to talk to me either. My parents finally started taking me seriously in 5th grade, when the P.E. teachers showed us these videos called What’s New About You. They showed you all the things that happen to your body during puberty and (I’m embarrassed to write this) I started screaming and crying right there in front of everyone. I got used to being a BOY, but I guess I didn’t realize I was gonna become a MAN after that and it really freaked me out. I saw Rodrick starting to get hairy and smell bad, but I assumed that just happened to him because he was becoming an ogre or something.
Rodrick: *BURP*
After that, Mom and Dad finally decided I could be a girl. They gave me medicine that stopped me from going through puberty and they let me grow my hair longer and wear girl clothes. They also told me I could pick a girl name. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to pick my own name, so I just looked up “girl names” on Google and went with the first one I saw, which was Ava. We moved states and Mom homeschooled me for a year so I could get away from the bullying for a while. I think Mom doesn’t understand that I get bullied even more in my own HOUSE.
Rodrick: SISSY!
[insert illustration of Rodrick pushing Ava over]
Spending all my time at home with Rodrick and Manny got old REALLY fast, so I’m really excited to finally go to a real school again. I ESPECIALLY want to meet some hot girls. The only girls I’ve met so far are the ones Rodrick brings up to his room, and they usually aren’t very interested in talking to me. I don’t get why most girls are so crazy about guys, because I don’t see the appeal at ALL. I think it’s because I’m trans. I think normal girls like guys because they think they’re all MYSTERIOUS and want to know what kind of SECRETS guys are keeping from them. After growing up around boys for 13 years, I’m kind of an expert, and there’s NOTHING about them girls are really missing out on.
[insert that one picture from the last straw of boys throwing wet toilet paper around in the bathroom]
My teacher just finished the seating chart, and I’m stuck between two gross boys that look like puberty started to hit them and gave up halfway through. I guess I’ll just meet all the hot girls later.