Chapter Text
“YOU FOUR WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME I WILL BECOME THE ULTIMATE SIFFRIN!” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin cried out.
“Nuh uh” The panicked team of four Siffrin’s all say in unison.
Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin sends a shockwave.
Siffrin 1 is now at 67 HP. Siffrin 2 is now at 67 HP. Siffrin 3 is now at 67 HP. Siffrin 4 is now at 67 HP.
“Wait. I had 670 HP before… Mental Breakdown :3 SIFFRIN WHAT DID YOU DO.” Siffrin 1 shouts so loud their voice cracks while saying this.
“I did what I had to. Sometimes what you have to do hurts others.” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin says nonchalantly.
“No. This just isn’t true, you never have to.” Siffrin 2 says, on the verge of tears.
“If that’s really the case, explain why you four are battling me. Attacking a poor innocent being such as myself. Just. AT LEAST. Tell me why. Please?” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin is shaking, as much as a motor.
“You want to become the only Siffrin. That, just, won’t, do,” Siffrin 2 leans forward while saying to emphasize his point.
“What can I do that will let you let me become the REAL Siffrin?” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin begs.
“Nothing. What can we do that will let you let us stop you?” Siffrin 3 says, adding onto Siffrin 2’s point.
“Brain Implosion Energy Drink. If you bring me an Overthinking Orange flavored Brain Implosion Energy Drink I will let you.” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin admits.
Now You, Dear Reader, may be wondering why there is 5 Siffrin’s in the first place? Well, You will now find out.
Siffrin is walking into a cave. He had heard there was an abundance of caffeinated beverages in it. Specifically, of the Brain Implosion Energy Drink variety. They wanted the 10000 grams of pure caffeine energy drink because you can’t overthink if your heart stops. The FDA doesn’t approve of Brain Implosion Energy. This information refused to stop Siffrin.
As Siffrin actually enters the dimly lit cave instead of just thinking about going in, they get assaulted by a sickly sweet chemical smell. Artificial sweetener smell… not wishcraft. There’s a whole river full of the unhealthy fruity drink. Cans make up crystal clusters, that the light from the outside hit on leading to a beam of light hitting more of them. Siffrin spots one thing that stands out.
A lone can. A can with nobody to hold it. Nobody to love it. The can almost seems to cry out to Siffrin. He steps forward. Every step of their boot lightly shakes the cave. He examines around the can, and notices a singular lone string. Out of curiosity the trap-master rogue leans down to observe the obvious trap.
Siffrin’s hands get stuck to the dirt-rock floor. A metal clasp. They struggle against the circular trap. “PLEASE LET ME GET MY HAND UNSTUCK!!! PLEASE Let me get my hand unstuck! Please let me get my hand unstuck. please. please let me get my hand unstuck.” Siffrin’s voice gradually fades out, until he yanks his hand out of the cusp. “Thank stars…” Siffrin mutters in relief to themself.
When Siffrin looks up, they see a hollow tube machine with what looks to be… them?
The next moment, another Siffrin walks out of the machine.
“STARS! WHO ARE YOU” Both of the darkless dressed rogues say simultaneously.
Both of them clam up at once, upon realizing they are just going to get caught in a loop of saying the same thing, and both already knew.
But then, another Siffrin appears out of the machine.
And then another, and finally one last one.
“All four of you are imposters. I’m the real Siffrin,” Original Siffrin says blankly. “I think I’m supposed to kill you?” He says between a question and a statement.
“Who’s really the imposter? Us, or you? You seem pretty SUS to me.” The 2nd Siffrin accuses.
“Not me that’s for sure.” Original Siffrin rebuttals.
“Or… maybe we all are?” Original Siffrin begins to spiral in their mind.
“NONE OF US ARE THE REAL SIFFRIN. NO.” Original Siffrin’s eyes swell with tears.
As Original Siffrin is crying, from the corner of his eye he sees a dead body. A darkless cloak, with hair darkless with lightless at the bottom, an eyepatch, and seeming to already have begun the rotting process.
“I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE EVERYONE GET OUT.” Original Siffrin tries to :3 their way out of feeling bad, while also having a mental breakdown. He is now known as Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin.
After that, the battle you see in the beginning happens.
You can go back to reread that if you choose, but we are continuing the story now.
Except at some point in the future, like a few days. They all have supplies in the cave people have inhabited it before so there is so much food, and water, and even some sleeping bags and a first aid kit.
“Siffrin is dead.” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin blurts.
“I AM DEAD.” The dead Siffrin shouts.
“The Siffrin is dead.” Siffrin 3 confirms.
“Why is the Siffrin is dead?” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin asks.
“I think it was-” Dead Siffrin begins.
“SHH YOU ARE DEAD.” Siffrin 2 and 3 say.
And then a button gets pressed by the author that forces this reference to end
Suddenly the dead Siffrin rises, skin fully decayed as it seemed while those shenanigans were happening their skin was rapidly dying. Where the dead Siffrin’s in tact eye should’ve been there was a dark grey bloody hole.
“What in the Universe’s name. It’s an undead body.” Siffrin 3 says, too calmly.
The zombie Siffrin walked at a painfully slow rate towards the group of clones.
“Um. Can you talk? Is that an ability you possess?” Siffrin 4 says.
“Yeah. I can. I might not have a brain anymore but I’m not dumb. Also zombies can’t possess people that’s- not a good pun. I don’t think I’m the only brainless one here.” Zomsif said.
“Oh blast you!” Siffrin 4 curses.
“Is… anybody going to actually react like this isn’t a normal thing? There is a zombie here. A zombie CLONE of all things. A clone of US. WHO EVEN KILLED THIS GUY?” Siffrin 2 says in a panic.
“I can hear you y’know. Also you could’ve just… directly asked. Anyways, it was ligma I died of.” Zomsif’s voice trying to emulate rolling his eye since they didn’t have any eyes.
“STARS BLIND IT! Sorry…” Siffrin 2 apology sounding very genuine and guilt filled.
“Wait…? Why are there even 5 of you…?” Zomsif asked confused.
“Clone machine.” Siffrin 3 casually says.
“I ONLY HAVE MORE QUESTIONS NOW.” Zomsif shrieks.
While Zomsif does that Dream!Sans and Obama particulize into existence.
“Hey, my darling president where the FUCK did you take me” Dream questions loudly, bring himself into all the Siffrin’s attention.
“You said you wanted to go somewhere less boring.” Obama reminds Dream.
“I meant like a theme park or something. Not… whatever this is.” Dream forces out.
Just as fast as they appeared, Obama and Dream are gone.
Zomsif spots a cat. The cat is crawling out from a vent and manages to get through by pushing it open. The cat politely walks over to a can, and knocks it over.
“Aw hey little kitty!” Zomsif says.
“Why are there 6 Siffrins?” The cat says.
At that moment Zomsif notices the cat is yet another Siffrin clone. The first one that (assumingly) came into existence weird. Was the machine breaking? How did a Catsif even start existing??? And why??? And how could it talk??? So many questioned etched their way into Zomsif’s mind, they can’t help but shake their head to seemingly get all the thoughts out.
“Long story little buddy.” Zomsif says to Catsif.
“Also I don’t even understand it I just woke up and my flesh was rotted.” Zomsif explains to Catsif.
Siffrin 3 begins to speak and explains what all of them know so far.
“Wow that’s bonkers.” Catsif was unimpressed.
“W3LL DO3S TH1S 1MPR3SS YOU” A Siffrin with a computer head says.
“What. The. Actual. Light. WHY IS THERE ANOTHER ONE” Mental Breakdown :3 Siffrin is sobbing again.
“B3CAUS3 FUCK YOU 1S WHY.” Glitchfrin says.
“Ok that’s it YOUR DONE. YOUR DONE. I’m banning you from my chat.” The unstable one says.
“YOU CAN’T BAN M3 YOU’R3 BANN3D.” Glitchfrin rebuttals.
“You can’t ban me, you're a frog.” Unstable:3Sif says.
“WAIT… NO 1’M NOT???” The computerhead one tilts their head.
“Wait can you guys stop arguing? There’s a light grey button.” Catsif requests before placing their paw on the mysterious circular object.
All of them feel a shake in the air. They all struggle to their feet. The air begins to smell like sugar.
“NONONO PLEASE DON’T LOOP AGAIN!!!” Zomsif shouts. The other Siffrins are clones so they haven’t experienced the loops.
A lightless oval shaped portal pops into existence, piece by piece. It acts like a black hole and sucks all of the Siffrins into it.