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“It’s a boy!”
The midwife said it proudly as he placed the small bundle in Penelope’s arms. The baby’s red little face scrunched up slightly as he settled against her chest. The little bit of hair on his head was also red like hers.
Mum will love that, Penelope thought. Portia always wanted more ginger children in the family.
“What a good baby!” one of the nurses cooed as she looked over him. Penelope’s eyes hadn’t left him. He was so beautiful. He was unmistakably hers. There was no denying that. She could also see evidence of his father in him as well: the shape of his mouth, the slightly pointed ears.
“Are you ready to see if he can latch, Mum?” one of the nurses asked her. Penelope glanced around because she wasn’t sure who the Mum she was referring to was before she remembered that it was her.
“After you’ve held him a bit we’ll need to give him his vitamin K injection and test his hearing.”
“Fairly simple delivery,” the midwife said as he washed his hands. “You did well, Miss Featherington. Not all first time births are that easy.”
Penelope gave him a brief smile, though her mind was far away. The voices of all the staff were filtering in and out around her. She found it very hard to concentrate on a single one. She glanced down at the sleeping ginger baby in her arms. Penelope had to remind herself that this was her baby.
“Yes,” one of the nurses said. “Good job, Mummy!”
Yes, Penelope thought. She had done a good job. A very good job indeed considering that she didn’t know she was pregnant until a few hours ago.
The baby made a small squeaking sound and stretched one tiny hand. His fingers were absurdly small. His fingernails were even smaller. The whole creature appeared to be roughly the size of a small loaf of sourdough.
Penelope had produced a loaf of bread.
That seemed unlikely.
“Do you want to try feeding him?”
Penelope’s eyes grew wide.
“Right now?” she choked. “Do I just…whip it out?”
The nurse smiled serenely as if this were a perfectly normal question. “Pretty much, yeah.”
As if on cue, the baby began rooting around on the sleeves of her hospital gown, his mouth searching for something while he made soft little coos.
“Ambitious,” she told him.
The nurse helped lower the hospital gown and showed Penelope how to hold the baby, to put her nipple near his mouth. He immediately latched and began suckling. It was an odd feeling, but not painful.
“He’s a hungry little guy,” the nurse said.
Penelope glanced between the nurse and the midwife. The feeling of the baby feeding at her breast had drawn her back to earth.
“So this was inside of me?”
The midwife paused writing in Penelope’s chart and glanced up at her. “You were the one who came in the A&E late last night? Didn’t realize you were expecting, did you?”
He said it with the same tone that someone might remark upon the weather.
“No,” Penelope said as the baby at her breast released her nipple with a pop. “I had no idea.”
She paused as she tried to rack her brain. “Don’t babies kick? Wouldn’t I have felt him kick?”
“Anterior placenta,” the midwife explained. “The feet were tucked near the back, up against your stomach. It might explain why you didn’t show and why you didn’t feel him.”
Penelope hummed. She knew her mother would simply say that Penelope’s belly prevented her bump from showing. No matter how badly her mother made her feel about herself, Penelope knew her belly wasn’t big enough to hide an entire baby.
“So for nine months he was hiding?” Honestly, the timing wasn’t matching up.
“He’s a bit small,” the midwife said. “Probably a little premature. Likely eight months.”
Ah, there it was.
“Do you need us to call your husband? Boyfriend?” the nurse helpfully suggested.
Penelope closed her eyes and brought the baby in closer to her chest, like a warm little comfort breadloaf.
“I do not have a husband or boyfriend.”
The nurse’s smile fell. “Oh.”
Eight months ago, Penelope had been at Colin’s farewell party. They drank, laughed and she hugged him a little too tightly and told him how she would miss him when he was traveling through South America.
“Ten months is too long without my best friend!”
“We can talk every day, Pen. Don’t worry. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Then they drank more and ended up at Penelope’s flat for the best sex of her life. Penelope had been dreading the morning after. Colin was kind, even while rejecting her.
“I went about this the wrong way,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I care about you too much to begin something properly and then vanish for almost a year.”
He held her hand and said they could have a proper conversation about their future when he came back. Penelope forced herself to smile and agree, although she knew that it would never happen. Colin would find some exotic beauty on his trip and forget all about her.
That’s when it hit her.
The baby’s father was on another continent.
Fuck.
Would he even believe her? Believe that this was his baby? Believe that she had no clue this baby had been with her for eight months?
There was a knock at the door, but it opened before anyone could respond.
“They said Penelope Featherington was in here,” a familiar frantic voice called out. “Where is she?”
“El!” Penelope sobbed.
Eloise’s shoulders relaxed as she turned and rushed towards her. “I’m so sorry. I just saw your text that you were finally going to the hospital after I’d been begging you for days to go. Was it your appendix? Gallbladder?”
Eloise laughed as she motioned to the door. “Also, why did they put you in the maternity ward? Are they running out of beds on other floors?”
Eloise’s approach halted dramatically when she spotted the infant lying in Penelope’s arms.
“Pen,” Eloise whispered, staring at the bundle in her arms. “What is that?”
Penelope glanced between her baby and her friend. “It’s—um…it’s a baby.”
Eloise’s expression was unreadable. “Where did you get the baby?” Her words were slow so as to not be mistaken.
“He’s–he’s my baby,” Penelope said almost in a whisper.
Eloise’s face contorted into betrayal. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t know!” Penelope said too loudly, causing her baby to stir a bit in her arms.
She lowered her voice. “I swear I didn’t know. They thought it was my appendix. They did a sonogram. And then they said there was a whole-ass baby in my stomach.”
“How does that even happen?” Eloise asked.
“I don’t know!” Penelope moaned. “It shouldn’t be allowed to happen. They should have routine check ups for women to make sure they’re not pregnant."
Eloise frowned. “Pen, I know you’re upset, but could you maybe see how routine examinations to check if women are secretly pregnant is unethical? ”
“No, Eloise! All I can see is that I have a baby!” Penelope inhaled deeply.
“What if…” Penelope trailed off as the horrid scenarios flowed through her mind. “I stopped drinking after Colin’s party because I had the worst hangover of my life. What if I hadn’t? What if I smoked?”
“You’ve never smoked.”
“But I could have started! What if he didn’t get enough folic acid and he had spina bifida?”
“He doesn’t have spina bifida,” the midwife called from across the room.
Eloise threw her hands in the air. “I don’t know what that is. How do you know what that is?”
“I helped Phillipa research when she was pregnant with Philomena. It didn’t matter. She ignored anything that wasn’t holistic,” Penelope moaned. “Oh God. I judged her so hard! And now I’m worse than a holistic mum who doesn’t vaccinate! I ate so much sugar!”
“We will do a heel stick and check his glucose and insulin levels, don’t worry,” the nurse said as she checked all of the monitors that Penelope was hooked up to.
“What is a heel stick?” Eloise asked. “Oh God, I need to read a parenting book if we’re doing this. I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”
“It was just a one time thing,” Penelope said shyly, “I don’t think he’s interested in a relationship.”
Penelope groaned and laid her head against the bed. “I don’t know anything about babies.”
“Alright, alright,” Eloise said calmly, pulling up a nearby chair and sitting beside Penelope’s bed. “We can figure this out.”
“You don’t hate me?” Penelope whispered as tears trickled down her cheeks.
“What?” Eloise barked. “Why would you think that?”
“You wanted us to stay childfree spinsters,” Penelope said. “I’ve ruined our plans.”
“Yes, well…” Eloise trailed off as she ran a hand through the baby’s soft hair. “Just because I don’t want kids doesn’t mean I think you shouldn’t have them. There’s just so many children in my family already. It’s overwhelming. But, he's kind of cute. He looks like you but tiny.”
The nurse stepped in and reached for the baby. “We’re going to give him his injection and test his hearing now.”
Penelope allowed the nurse to take the weight from her arms.
“Wait, what?” Eloise asked, suddenly alert. “What are you injecting him with? Is it safe? Has it been properly tested?”
“Eloise,” Penelope began.
“I just don’t want them taking advantage of you while you’re in a vulnerable state.”
Her phone chimed and Eloise quickly reached into her bag and typed out a message.
“Colin’s back.”
“What?” Penelope’s heart started beating faster. She thought she had more time. “When did he come back?”
“His plane has landed. Benedict is picking him up.”
“Did something go wrong with his contract? He’s not due back for two more months.”
“No, I messaged him the other day that I was worried about you because you kept complaining of stomach cramps but refused to go to the hospital. He was worried about you, so he flew home and just arrived.”
“Eloise!” Penelope scolded.
Eloise shrugged. “What was I supposed to do? I thought something inside of you was exploding and you wouldn’t take my advice!”
“Because the pains weren’t frequent at first. They would go away and then come back.”
“Early contractions,” The nurse said as she brought back Penelope’s baby.
“That makes sense, I guess,” Penelope muttered as she drew the baby closer and inhaled his new baby scent.
“I’m telling Colin your room number,” Eloise said typing on her phone.
“You didn’t tell him I had a baby, did you?” Penelope panicked.
Eloise scoffed. “I doubt he would believe me.”
“I have to tell him in person,” Penelope stared off into the distance. “Oh God, what if he doesn’t believe that I didn’t know I was pregnant? What if he thinks I hid this from him?”
Eloise laughed a bit, still looking at her phone. “Why would it matter what he thinks? It’s not like he’s—”
Eloise paused. Her eyes narrowed.
“Colin,” she said.
Another pause.
“Colin’s the father?”
Tears formed in Penelope’s eyes as she nodded.
Eloise stood and began pacing. “That—that bastard!”
The baby protested Eloise’s rant and began to cry.
“Oh no. Oh no,” Penelope muttered trying to rock the baby slightly in her arms. “It’s ok, tiny human. Don’t cry.”
While Penelope would admit that she didn’t know what she was doing, she was relieved to find that her voice and movements calmed down the newborn.
“I’m sorry, little one,” Eloise whispered as she leaned over to look at the baby now that he had settled down.
The midwife walked towards Penelope.
“Now that your little one has quieted down a bit, we’re going to take him for his tests, get his weight, make sure everything is tip top.”
“Tip top?” Eloise said with a scowl.
“And then you’ll bring him back?” Penelope asked, panic rising. “How long will it take?”
The midwife smiled kindly as he took her baby from her arms.
“Not long, just a few minutes.”
“Should I come with you?” Penelope moved to sit up, the nurses tried to stop her and she immediately realized why.
“Oh god! Why does everything hurt?” she cried.
“You need to stay lying down, Mum,” one nurse said.
Penelope nodded, lying back against the pillow. “I forgot for a moment that I pushed a loaf of bread out of my vagina.”
The nurse looked at her quizzically but said nothing.
Eloise stood. “How about I go with them? Will that make you feel better?”
Penelope nodded gratefully. “Thanks, El.”
“That’s Aunt Eloise,” she replied before counting on her fingers. “For the fourth or fifth time. I can’t keep up with the kids in this family. And now apparently, they can just appear without any prior warning!”
Penelope laughed despite her pain and exhaustion. The nurses, midwife, Eloise and her baby left and for the first time in several days Penelope was alone. She released a breath, a small amount of tension slipped from her shoulders.
Colin was back. Penelope let that realization settle in. She thought he might move on, that he wouldn’t care about her as much. But he ended his trip early because Eloise told him she was unwell.
Did that mean that, maybe, she meant more to him than she previously thought? She hoped so, because both of their lives were about to irrevocably change from this day.
The cramps were gone, now she was only left with the lingering pain in her body and a heavy weight in her stomach from the thought of trying to explain this mess to Colin.
Penelope didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until she woke up to Eloise sitting in the chair beside her, holding the baby and talking to him.
“Now, your mother insists she did not know you were there,” Eloise said. “Which I believe, because she once lost an entire handbag for three weeks.”
The baby gurgled in response.
“I’m aware you are not a handbag. I am simply establishing precedent.”
“Eloise,” Penelope said. Eloise looked up as if Penelope was interrupting something very important.
“What are you doing?”
“I was just explaining to my new nephew that he will have a very complicated life because both of his parents are idiots.”
Penelope opened her mouth to reply, when the baby began to cry in Eloise’s arms.
“I think he’s hungry,” Eloise said. “He’s looking for something that I definitely do not have.”
Penelope laughed wetly as she tried to sit up. Eloise gave her the baby and helped her adjust the bed. She remembered the way the nurse showed her how to feed the baby and just like before, he latched on and immediately began to suckle.
The baby’s cries must have carried into the corridor, because the nurse appeared a moment later. She watched for a moment and nodded.
“Good. Just swap sides halfway through the feed.”
When the baby finished, the nurse said, “You’ll need to wind him after that.”
“What?”
The nurse gently lifted the baby onto Penelope’s shoulder, his tiny head turned toward her cheek, and demonstrated how to pat his back.
Penelope copied her, patting lightly.
The nurse shook her head. “Bit harder than that.”
Penelope tried again.
“Harder, love.”
Nervously, Penelope increased the force.
“Harder.”
Penelope froze. “Is this some sort of trick? Is he going to bruise? They’ll take him away from me for abuse.”
The nurse chuckled. “Babies are sturdier than they look.”
Right on cue, the baby produced a small, triumphant burp.
Penelope sagged with relief and lowered him back into her arms. He settled immediately, asleep again, as if nothing unusual had happened at all.
For the last couple of hours since the baby boy was first placed in her arms, Penelope had been avoiding the thought of the world outside this hospital room. The world where no one was expecting her to suddenly have a child. But, as it often happens with all good things—they must come to an end. A very disheveled, red eyed Colin Bridgerton burst through the door looking wildly for her.
When he saw her sitting in the bed, he exhaled.
“Pen,” he said as if she were his salvation. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? Eloise made it sound like you were dying.”
“I thought she was!” Eloise said in her defense.
Penelope was frozen. Colin was staring at her with so much concern evident on his face and in his voice. She wasn’t sure what to do. How to tell him.
Colin stepped forward. “What happened, Pen? Do you need surgery? Are you recovering? I’ve spent the entire flight from São Paulo freaking out and—” Colin paused in his advance when he saw the bundle in Penelope’s arms.
“Is that…a baby?”
Penelope nodded. Eloise stood deathly still beside her.
“Whose baby is that?” Colin looked around the room as if the baby’s parents might appear. “Did one of your sisters have a baby?”
“No,” Penelope said weakly.
“Knock knock!” a male voice called out before Benedict Bridgerton came into the room. “I had to park the car and Colin practically sprinted up here.”
A nurse followed him in.
“Oh, you have guests!” she said smiling. “I just need to get Mum’s blood pressure and then I’ll leave you alone.”
She walked to Penelope’s bedside while Colin and Benedict kept on staring at her.
“Mum?” Benedict laughed. “Penelope, what—”
“Ben!” Eloise cut him off and rushed towards him. “Help me find a vending machine. I need a coke.”
Eloise pushed a sputtering Benedict out of the room while the nurse fit the cuff around Penelope’s arm.
The nurse glanced at Colin, who remained standing still, and then at the baby.
“Dad, would you like to hold him while I do this?” she asked with a smile.
That seemed to shake Colin out of his stupor. His eyes darted from Penelope to the baby to the nurse. Then between Penelope and the baby several times before he finally blinked.
Oh no.
Dad, would you like to hold him?
That phrase kept echoing in his mind.
He was exhausted. Colin had just spent twelve hours in the air after receiving Eloise’s text.
Something’s wrong with Pen. She’s pale, complaining about stomach cramps. I’m worried it’s her appendix or gallbladder or something. She won’t go to the hospital. Maybe you can call her? She might listen to you.
Colin tried to call her. It went to voicemail and she sent him a text.
Not feeling great. I’ll call you back later.
This was completely unacceptable to Colin and he was currently on another continent. The only logical solution was for him to come home immediately.
He had been fighting the urge to return to her the entire time he was away. This was his last trip before he would be set up with a book deal and no longer required to travel. He planned to ask Penelope out on a proper date the moment he got back.
There was always a risk that Penelope would be in a relationship, but what was the alternative? Forcing her to wait in limbo while he was working in Brazil? Have the very beginning of their relationship be long distance? It wasn’t fair to her. He couldn’t ask her to wait for him, to put her life on hold.
But then he got drunk at his farewell party, went home with her, had the best night of his life and fucked it all up. He tried to explain his reasoning but she wouldn’t even look at him properly and he left feeling like a right asshole.
So the decision to get on a flight was the only one that made sense. Now he was here, sweaty, exhausted, running on adrenaline and airplane coffee. He finally was in front of Penelope for the first time in eight long months. She sat up in the hospital bed, clutching something to her chest. Her face looked drained, exhausted, but she was alive.
But then he saw what was in her arms.
A tiny little creature with a shock of red hair and a soft, sleeping face.
A baby?
It had to be someone else’s baby. If Penelope was going to have a baby, she would have told him.
But there was no one else in the room, and the nurse had called Penelope Mum. And then the woman looked at him and called him Dad.
He looked at the baby, it looked like Penelope. Hair red like hers, perfectly plump little cheeks despite being so tiny. But his ears were slightly tipped, something Colin himself was teased for as a child.
Colin’s breathing came faster.
Was this his baby?
Surely Penelope would have told him.
You could not simply misplace a pregnancy.
He was on another continent, but someone would have told him. His mother, Eloise, Hyacinth. The Bridgertons could not keep secrets.
“Pen,” he said slowly. “Whose baby is that?”
He could see the tears forming in her eyes. She took a breath.
“He’s mine, Colin,” she said before pausing. “And he’s also yours.”
The words knocked him down. He collapsed onto the chair beside her bed. A torrent of emotions crashed through him. Did she not want to tell him? Penelope was his best friend, his favorite person, the love of his life and she obviously thought so little of him.
The nurse taking her blood pressure kept her head down, finished her task and left without a word.
“You didn’t tell me.” The words slipped out of him sharply.
“I didn’t know!” she sobbed, tears falling from her eyes. “I swear I didn’t know. I never felt him move. I was never sick. I thought I was missing periods because of work stress. I would have told you! I promise, Colin, I would have told you. But I didn’t know until last night,” she rushed to assure him
“I don’t have anything. I don’t have clothes or a crib. I never took a single prenatal vitamin. I have never read a book about babies. Our mothers never got to fight over who would host the baby shower. Eloise and Hyacinth didn’t get to argue over who would be the favorite aunt. I swear, Colin. I swear—”
“Pen!” Colin finally interrupted her. He reached over and took one of her hands that was wrapped around the baby while using his other hand to wipe the tears from her face.
“It’s ok, love. I believe you.”
“You do?” Her entire body relaxed, her face softened.
Colin nodded. He did believe her. Penelope never thought less of him. She had always been his biggest champion. It was his own insecurities that made him believe he was not enough.
“Are you feeling alright?” He asked looking over her properly.
Penelope gave him a faint smile. “I’m starving, exhausted and in pain. But I’m mostly dreading having to explain this to everyone.”
“Yes,” Colin said. “I imagine Mother will have questions.”
They both went quiet as they watched the baby shift slightly in her arms. He moved around, his little face squished as though he were uncomfortable. Penelope’s nose twitched. She held the bundle closer to her face and sniffed.
“Oh no,” she said. “I think he’s doing something awful.”
Colin laughed.
“I’ve never changed a nappy.” Penelope’s eyes grew wide as she began to panic again. “Phillipa was so particular about everything with Philomena. I—I don’t—”
“Penelope,” Colin said calmly. “I know how. It’s very easy…May I?” He held his arms out and motioned for the baby: his baby. Penelope nodded and raised the baby towards him.
“He’s so small,” Colin muttered as he took him from Penelope.
“They said he’s probably early.”
The baby, his son, was so tiny. The moment he was in his arms, Colin felt an immediate, instinctive need to protect him from everything.
Everything, unfortunately, was a very large category.
Illness.
Sharp corners.
Drafts.
Other people.
Gravity.
Colin adjusted his grip slightly, suddenly suspicious of gravity.
Bears.
“There are no bears in England!” Penelope said and Colin realized that he had spoken out loud.
“We might travel and there would be bears.”
The baby made a soft snuffling noise and tucked his tiny face against Colin’s shirt.
That was it.
Colin would simply have to eliminate every possible threat.
“I’m going to buy a large house. Maybe a fortress. There’s going to be padding on every surface. Railings. And…guards. To keep out strangers. And Eloise.”
Penelope laughed, it was a lovely sound that caused Colin’s heart to beat a little harder.
Colin took the baby to the tiny bassinet, cleaned the unspeakable holy horrors from his nappy and changed him into a fresh one.
He sat back in the chair, staring at his son in awe.
“Do you have a name for him?” he asked.
Penelope shook her head. “I haven’t had the mental capacity to even consider that yet. I’ve been calling him Breadloaf.”
“What?”
“Because he’s the size of sourdough!”
Colin laughed. The door opened abruptly and Benedict and Eloise strolled in, bags of crisps in hand.
“Alright,” Benedict said. “So Eloise has explained this to me, but I’m still not sure I follow.”
He took a crisp from the tiny bag and pointed it at Penelope. “You didn’t know you were pregnant and now you have a baby?”
Penelope nodded. “Yeah, that’s the gist of it.”
He pointed the crisp at Colin. “You didn’t know either?”
“How was I to know if she didn’t?” Colin snarked. “International telepathy?”
Benedict frowned. Pointing the crisp between them.
“This is fucking bollocks.”
“Hey!” Colin exclaimed. “There’s a child here. Don’t talk like that in front of my son.”
“You’re taking this well,” Eloise said.
Colin nodded before glancing at Penelope. “It’s not necessarily a bad situation. Just maybe the order of things could have gone better.”
24 hours ago he had been in Brazil, writing articles about local culture and cuisine all while wondering how he was supposed to wait two more months before seeing Penelope.
Now he was holding a baby that was apparently his son.
The pace of events seemed unreasonable.
And yet, Colin found that he couldn’t quite be upset about any of it.
Penelope smiled weakly. Colin suddenly felt the urge to take care of her. She had just delivered his son, now she was looking pale.
“You said you were hungry,” Colin said. “I should go get you something to eat.”
Colin glanced down at the ginger angel in his arms. “But if I am separated from this baby, I may die. Ben! Can you get Penelope some food?”
“I picked you up from the airport, drove you to the hospital, and now you’re sending me to fetch lunch?”
“Please,” Colin said, trying his best to look contrite. “Penelope needs her strength to feed your new nephew.”
Benedict shook his head. “You can’t use the baby as a means to guilt me. I only just learned he existed.”
Eloise rolled her eyes. “Come on. I’ll walk with you. There’s a burger shop down the street that Pen loves.”
“I want really greasy chips!” Penelope called as they left the room.
“Fine. But in revenge I’m calling Anthony,” Benedict called back to them.
Colin shrugged once the door closed again. “Saves me from having to tell him.”
“Do you think we should call our mums?”
Colin flinched. “Yeah, we probably should.”
“Later,” Penelope said.
“Yes. Later,” Colin agreed.
They settled into the silence as Colin held the baby and watched his every little movement in awe. Penelope rested her head against the pillows.
Colin cleared his throat and tried to sound casual. He immediately failed.
“So, Pen,” he began. “You probably haven’t thought much about where the baby will live.”
Penelope groaned. “I guess we’ll have to share my room until I can move out of Eloise’s flat.”
She laughed softly. “She probably didn’t sign up for a screaming newborn when she asked me to be her flatmate.”
Eloise couldn’t keep a houseplant alive. Colin shuddered to think of her with a baby.
“Well, I—uhh…” Colin hated how nervous he sounded. “Why don’t you both move in with me?”
Penelope’s head shot up and she stared at him, but Colin couldn’t read her expression so he continued.
“I mean—It’s not fancy. It might be a little sterile. No one’s lived there for the last eight months. But I have an extra room. It’s technically an office, or it was an office. I’ve never used it. It’s just a chair, desk and a pile of books I always said I would read but didn’t. We can move the desk out for the crib.” Colin paused. “Or just burn the desk. I hate it.” He paused again as his mind whirred. “Burning seems a bit excessive.”
The baby cooed softly and shifted. Colin glanced down at him.
“You agree,” he said solemnly. “A bit excessive. We’ll just move it.”
Colin looked back up to Penelope. “And eventually we can find something bigger. Maybe an actual house. You know, once you feel up to moving.”
Penelope still hadn’t said anything. She just looked up at him with those big blue eyes and Colin felt the arbitrary need to fill up the empty silence even more.
“It’s just practical,” he said. “For the baby. And you, since you also come with the baby.”
Penelope smiled softly. “Are you asking me to move in with you as…a co-parent?”
Colin opened his mouth.
Closed it.
That had not been the question he prepared for.
He glanced down at the baby, who was currently asleep and contributing absolutely nothing to the conversation.
Then he looked back at Penelope.
“Well, technically, we are co-parents,” he laughed. “But that’s not really what I meant.”
Colin inhaled deeply. Summoning all of his courage. Why was trekking through jungles and looking for restaurants in dubious alleyways easier than telling a woman you loved her?
“When I left for Brazil, I planned on asking you on a proper date the moment I came home.”
Penelope’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Well, Yes. I thought I told you that,” he said mildly offended. “Didn’t I tell you that?”
“You said we would discuss it. I thought you were just letting me down gently,” she said.
Colin’s mouth dropped. “No!” he said emphatically. “I just didn’t want you to feel you had to put your life on hold while I was out of the country. None of my relationships have ever survived the distance. I didn’t want that to happen with you. I wanted to give us a real shot.”
There were tears brimming in Penelope’s eyes. “You mean that?”
Colin smiled. “This was my last trip. I’ve probably broken the contract by leaving early, but I thought you were dying and I’m definitely not leaving now.” Colin glanced down at the baby in his arms.
“I wanted to do things the normal way. We would date, then move in together, then get engaged and married. And only then would we begin filling our home with red headed babies.”
Penelope laughed. “You had all that planned out?”
Colin gave her a cheeky grin. “It shouldn’t have taken more than six months.”
Penelope laughed harder and then groaned while clutching her stomach. “Don’t make me laugh. Everything hurts.”
Colin’s heart immediately started racing. “Is there something I can get for you? Do you need the nurse?”
Penelope shook her head. “It’s already passed. I’m fine, Colin.”
She settled back against the pillow. Colin sighed.
“I did not anticipate skipping directly to fatherhood, but I’m…adaptable.”
He took a breath.
“Penelope Featherington, will you move in with me, be my girlfriend, and help me raise our currently unnamed baby?”
Colin winced. “That sounded more romantic in my head.”
Penelope laughed softly, trying to keep her giggles from moving throughout her entire body.
“We should probably address the unnamed part soon,” she said. “But yes, to all of that.”
Colin smiled. The knot in his chest loosened. Relief was short lived as the child in his arms began to stir and cry.
“Oh, dear,” Colin said, bouncing the baby slightly. “What’s wrong, son?”
“I think he might be hungry,” Penelope said, reaching out for him.
Colin was glad that Penelope wasn’t nervous about feeding their son in front of him. He was once again reminded of how amazing she was. She had been a mother for about five hours and was already an expert. He should ask her to marry him now.
Or maybe wait. She’d already had quite a day. He would give her a few weeks.
Colin softly stroked the downy hairs on his son’s head while the little one ate. After he ate his fill, Penelope placed the baby on her shoulder.
“I have to wind him,” she said as she began beating their child.
“Do you have to do it that hard?” Colin asked, aghast.
“This is how the nurse said to do it!”
The baby released a burp and Penelope ceased battering him. Colin sighed.
Their peace was interrupted once again as the door burst open.
“Colin Bridgerton!”
“Penelope Anne!”
It seemed that fate conspired against them and the mothers were here.
“Colin Bridgerton!” Violet repeated as she glared at her son. “What have you done?”
Colin froze in the face of his mother as Portia rounded on Penelope.
“You didn’t even bother to tell me you were pregnant? I had to hear it from Violet? After the baby has been born?”
“Benedict,” Colin muttered beneath his breath. The offending brother strode in smiling, a brown bag in his hand. “I have your food, Penelope.”
“You called Mum?” Colin asked.
Benedict frowned. “I only called Anthony.”
“Anthony called me,” Violet said. “I called Portia because I thought maybe Penelope told her own mother at least.”
“I didn’t know!” Penelope said weakly as she took her food from Benedict. She tried to eat with her one free hand but dropped a chip on the baby and Colin swept him up quickly.
Violet gasped when she saw the baby in Colin’s arms.
“Is this him?” She asked, eyes wet as she stepped towards him. “He’s so beautiful. What is his name?”
“Um,” Colin began.
“Um,” Penelope said. “We haven’t decided.”
“What have you been doing for the past nine months?”
“Eight,” Colin corrected.
Portia sighed and rubbed a hand against her head. “What will people think, Penelope?”
“Mmmhmmoww,” Penelope hummed while shoving the burger in her mouth.
“All of my friends will wonder why they didn’t get invited to the baby shower,” her mother lamented. “They will think I snubbed them.”
“Won’t someone please think of Portia?” Eloise muttered under her breath while handing Penelope a paper cup. “I also got you a milkshake.”
“I love you,” she said earnestly to her friend.
“No love for me?” Benedict asked. “I’ve been an errand boy all morning.”
The baby squeaked a little in Colin’s arms.
“The baby appreciates it,” he told his brother.
“Thank you, Benedict.” Penelope said gratefully. “For bringing my baby daddy and my lunch. They are of equal importance to me.”
“Hey!” Colin said without any actual animosity.
“Well, you must have a name,” Portia said, throwing her hands up. “That is the most important thing right now.”
“Perhaps an old family name,” Violet suggested as she took the baby from Colin. She cradled him.
“All of the family names are taken,” Colin argued. Portia looked over Violet’s shoulder at the baby, her eyes softening.
“We do need more redheads in the family,” she said.
“That’s all we are,” Penelope laughed.
“You could name him after my father,” Portia said. “Erastus.”
Penelope and Colin exchanged a look of horror.
“My grandfather’s name was James,” Violet said. “That’s a good name.”
“It’s dreadfully common, Violet,” Portia added.
The two mothers began the overly polite, yet pointed discussion of names while the baby slept peacefully between them.
Colin released a breath and turned towards Penelope to find her already staring back at him.
“Thomas,” she said quietly, only to him. Colin glanced between her and the baby that his mother held.
He smiled at Penelope. “Thomas.”
Colin cleared his throat and their mothers stopped bickering and looked at him.
“Thomas,” he said. “Thomas…Bridgerton?”
Colin looked back to Penelope and she nodded.
“Right,” Colin said with more certainty. “Thomas Bridgerton.”
Portia pursed her lips and looked down at the baby.
“I suppose it will do. You don’t want him to be too overstated.”
Colin assumed that was as close to her approval as they were going to get.
Violet smiled. “It’s a lovely choice.”
Benedict smiled as he took in the baby’s features. “Hello, Thomas. You have already caused quite a stir.”
“Is his middle name Sourdough?” Eloise jested. Penelope laughed around the straw in her milkshake.
The new grandmothers took their time passing Thomas between them and cooing over his features. Colin settled into the chair at Penelope’s bedside as the exhaustion from his twelve hour flight was finally getting to him.
“Perhaps you should go home and take a shower,” Benedict offered.
“I’ve already missed so much of my son’s life. I’m not missing any more.”
“You only missed two hours, Colin,” Penelope reminded him. But he wouldn’t budge.
Eloise left with the promise to pack Penelope a bag since she had nothing at the hospital.
Benedict and Anthony had already arranged for Edmund’s old crib to be sent to Colin’s flat. They promised to have the desk moved and the bed set up for him before Penelope and Thomas were sent home.
Daphne called and said she already ordered several boxes of nappies that should be sitting outside Colin’s flat at that moment.
Violet and Portia were aghast over the fact that Thomas had no clothes and they were planning to go shopping together for him that very afternoon. Penelope almost wished she could go to see what chaos they would create together.
As they left, Violet hugged both of them fiercely, telling them not to worry. They would sort everything out. Portia, never one to be affectionate, smoothed Penelope’s hair and patted Colin’s cheek on the way out.
Then the door clicked shut and it was just the three of them.
Penelope was eating the last of her chips. Thomas was asleep on Colin's chest, rising and falling with his breathing. The monitors beeped softly. Outside the window the early afternoon light had gone golden.
"Thomas," Penelope said quietly, as if trying out the weight of it now that no one was watching.
Colin looked down at the small sleeping face. "Thomas," he agreed.
She leaned her head back against the pillow. She was exhausted in a way that went beyond any tiredness she'd felt before, and underneath it something had loosened. The dread that had sat in her chest since this morning had mostly disappeared.
"This morning I didn't know he existed," she said.
"This morning I was on a plane eating a stale biscuit," Colin said.
Penelope laughed quietly, careful not to wake the baby.
Colin shifted Thomas slightly against his chest and reached out his free hand. Penelope took it without thinking, the way she'd always taken his hand, the way that had never quite meant nothing.
"Get some sleep," he said. "We have approximately forty-eight hours before my mother comes back with a list of approved nursery color schemes."
Penelope closed her eyes.
Thomas slept.
Outside, the city carried on, entirely unaware that a small loaf of bread had rearranged their world.
