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The winter air was crisp and cold, the whistling of the wind as it blew through the trees overpowering the creaking of the cabin’s wood. Two boys sat in the small cabin’s bed, shivering and wrapped in a blanket. The smaller boy was nestled into the other’s shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around his midsection. He seemed to be crying, small quiet sobs wracking his body as the other ran his fingers through his hair. Will, the smaller boy, nuzzled into his shoulder further. Mike petted his hair a little more gently. They sat there in silence, unmoving.
“I hate you.” Will murmured, clearly out of it. His voice shook, his sobs got louder.
“I know.” Mike sighed.
“I hate you so much.”
"You don't."
"You're going to leave me, aren't you? You'll leave like everyone else. You're terrible." Will spat.
Mike didn’t respond to the other boy this time, just humming and pulling him closer. He knew Will didn’t mean it. Will seemed to quiet down slightly, but still shaking and small sobs running through his body.
Mike didn’t mind comforting the other, he was usually good with telling when he was entering his “episodes” (as the two had called them). They never lasted long, Will usually would become violent and threaten Mike. Mike would calm him down in one way or another, and they would end up tangled together wherever they could be. The cycle was constantly repeating, but Mike was fine with that. He enjoyed Will’s presence enough to deal with it.
He pressed a small kiss to Will’s forehead, startling the other boy and making him look up. Will stared, teary eyed, at the boy. Mike smiled sheepishly, pressing another kiss to Will’s nose.
“I should kill you right now.” Will hissed. Mike shook his head, frowning. Will stared at his shotgun, eyes hungry and unmoving.
“Nope, not happening. I’m not in the mood to pull another bullet out of my arm, thanks.” Mike sighed. Will grumbled and went back to snuggling into Mike’s shoulder. He’d much rather this over being killed. It isn’t as bad, he thought.
Will was always unnaturally cold. Mike had grown to accept this overtime when they had these moments. Will hated being warm, despite half the time Mike thinking he would actually freeze to death. He would tease him about “not caring if he was gone,” but truly, he cared. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself. So, he stayed. He knew it probably wasn’t in his best interest. Half the time, he didn’t know if he would survive until the next morning.
Still, he stayed. No matter how many times the boy threatened to kill him. No matter how many times he was hurt, physically or not. He always stayed. He didn’t really know why. He knew he shouldn’t. Part of him felt guilty in a way. Maybe if he left Will would realize that he was scaring Mike. Or he'd kill himself like he said he would. But he couldn’t think of a day without him. He wasn’t good at being alone. His thoughts scared him when he was alone. He’d always start getting irrational, lashing out at the nearest thing. He could never manage being alone for long.
So he wasn’t. He stayed with Will. Even if he was 90% sure Will wanted to actually kill him. He didn’t mind the problems the two had. It made it more interesting for him, honestly. Will made him uncomfortable sometimes. The way the boy acted was strange, too familiar for his comfort. He felt like it was his fault Will had turned out this way. He honestly couldn’t think of a time recently where Will had been nice to him. He was constantly yelled at. Told him that he made everything worse. Maybe Will was right. Maybe he wasn’t good for anything. Maybe he deserved this. He deserved to be dea—
“Mike? Hello? Can you hear me?” Will’s voice brought him out of his spiraling thoughts. Mike jumped, blinking for a moment and looking down at Will.
“What's up?” Mike’s voice sounded too unsure, too shaky for his comfort. Will was rubbing small circles into his back, arms wrapped around him and head tilted just enough so he could peek at Mike through his hair.
“You looked sad. You also looked like you were spiraling.” Will narrowed his eyes. “You were spiraling, weren't you?” Mike began to sweat, realizing the other boy had read him like an open book.
“Me? Never. I don't know what you're talking about Will. That'd be hella cringe.” Mike gulped, deflecting the best he could. Will sighed, pulling him into a hug. He was supposed to be comforting Will. Mike's eyes welled up with tears, realizing he had done it again. He made the situation about himself. Every time without fail, he makes the situation about himself. He felt so fucking stupid. He wanted to hit himself over the head.
Will must've noticed his blank stare, because he lightly poked his back. Mike blinked a few times again, sighing.
“Alright, alright. You caught me. Sorry. I know I was supposed to be comforting you,” A sigh from will. “But I have a really hard time with this stuff. I'll try to be better.” Mike rambled, trying to look anywhere except the boy in front of him.
“Hey. I don't mind us being sad together. I'd rather both of us over just me, because that's just really awkward.” Will unwrapped his arms from Mike's back, placing them on his shoulders as he spoke. “I care about you Mike, you know this.” Will pressed a small kiss to Mike’s jaw. Mike gazed at Will, tears threatening to fall. Mike felt horrible. He scratched at his hand, a nervous habit he had built up over time. Will swatted his hand away from the spot he was scratching.
“What did I say about that? You’re going to hurt yourself.” Will scolded, a little too harsh for his comfort. “God, you’re so insufferable. I should’ve left while I had the chance.” Will scoffed, looking away from mike. But he didn’t move. Mike hoped he didn’t mean it.
“You dont mean that. I know you don’t.” Mike’s voice went quiet as he spoke. He hated being vulnerable. This was too much for him. Will probably hated him. He quite literally just said that he should’ve left. Mike’s eyes welled up with tears again, biting his lip to conceal the sobs that threatened to leave him. He was a fucking mess.
“I don’t. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Will cooed, taking Mike’s curls into his hand and twirling a strand of his hair in between his fingers. He braided a few pieces of it, kissing his chin gently.
Mike, in that rare moment of gentleness and care, decided he was staying with Will. He was afraid of him sometimes, sure, but that only added to the thrill of their relationship. He wouldn’t give up the times that Will stared at him lovingly, sometimes like he wanted to eat him whole. His head felt fuzzy with the softness Will was showing him right now. He’d probably regret it in a week. He’d wish he was dead, or wish he had left when he was given the chance. But he was trapped, in the most beautiful way possible.
He was ok with being trapped. He loved the boy, what more did he need?