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There are three things that Hank knows about his relationship with Charles.
The first is that he loves Charles. That he loves him better than anything or anyone else in the world. He knows Charles, knows the good and the bad. He’s seen Charles at his best and at his worst. He’s watched Charles triumph and watched him fail. There is no pretence between them, no barriers left to break down. Charles has told him things that he has never told anybody else and Hank has returned the favour. They know each other inside out.
And the sex, well, the sex is fantastic. Before Charles, he never thought that he could be interested in men but Charles excites him in a way that he never imagined. He’s completely comfortable with Hank, both his human form and his beast one. Hank isn’t sure that there is anybody else in the world that could be like that.
The second thing that he knows is that Charles is not in love with him. Not in the same way that he loves Charles.
It’s not that Charles doesn’t love him. Charles loves him. They are best friends and they have been together for decades now. Charles loves him. But love is complicated sometimes. Charles loves many people, offers his heart out easily and quickly, sometimes without thinking through the consequences. Charles opens his heart to the world and is often surprised when world opens its heart back. What he and Hank share is more than that but it’s still not the same as being in love.
And Charles is not in love with Hank and perhaps he never will be. The “in love” part of Charles belongs to Erik Lehnsherr, even though Erik is long gone and will quite possibly never come back. Hank doesn’t think he could ever breech that part of Charles’s heart. He doesn’t even care to try. He doesn’t want to try.
Because it doesn’t matter.
When Charles touches him, that’s real. When Charles laughs with him, that’s real. The school is real, the people who rely on it are real. They have shared everything in their lives for over a decade and Hank can’t imagine anything realer than that.
He and Charles share something. Something unconventional, perhaps. Something different. Something that’s maybe even a little strange. But it’s still real. It will always be real. And no matter what happens, they will always have this.
“Are you happy?” Charles whispers to him as they cuddle up together, Charles’s head on Hank’s chest.
“Yes,” Hank says sleepily, gently stroking Charles’s hair. “Yes, I’m happy.”
That’s the third thing that he knows. That despite everything, despite what people might think of it all, he is absolutely happy with what he’s got.
Because what he’s got is Charles.
And that is absolutely all he could ever want.