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It's late. They're back in LA, and the streets are quiet, a gentle hum in the night air. Buck had convinced Eddie to drop him off at his place before going home to Chris, promising they'll see each other in the morning after they both get some much-needed sleep. Too exhausted to argue, Eddie drove to Buck's house and watched him shuffle out of the car and slowly make his way inside.
That was 10 minutes ago, and Eddie is still sitting in the car with his hands on the wheel, staring at Buck's front door. Frozen.
You see, he was fine up until Buck gave him a little wave and disappeared inside. But the moment he lost sight of Buck, he couldn't move. His breathing shortened, and his fingers started tingling. All the blood rushed to his heart as the memories flooded back. The confusion that quickly morphed into fear. The anger and desperation. The feral instinct to push through anything that got in his way. And now there's a door separating them.
Remembering what he learned years ago, he takes a deep breath in, holds it, and then releases. Deep breath in, hold, release. Breathe, hold, release. He repeats this for several minutes until his heart rate slows and his vision clears. He peels his hands off the wheel and turns off the ignition.
Needing the air, he steps out of the car and closes the door as quietly as he can. He walks towards the back of the car and leans against it, taking a deep breath of the cool night air. He pulls his phone out, taps on the screen a few times, and holds it up to his ear.
Before he can even think about how late it is, the call connects. There's some movement on the other end, and then comes Maddie's voice, whispering. "Eddie? Hi. Is everything okay? Is Buck with you?"
Relieved, Eddie takes another breath. "Hey. Sorry, yes, he's here. Well, not here here, but he's inside. Sleeping hopefully. I just stepped outside for a second..." he trails off.
The sound of a door closing, and then Maddie's voice is clearer. "Good. I'm glad you both made it back. I told him I'd stop by in the morning."
"He'll be glad to see you. Just be careful with the hug."
"Don't worry. I promise I'll be gentle," she teases. They both let the silence settle for a few seconds. "So. You called me."
"I did."
"You never call me."
Eddie chuckles. "I know. Sorry."
Madde smiles. "Nothing to be sorry for. I'm just surprised."
"Honestly, I didn't even realize I was doing it. I just needed..." He sighs and covers his face with his free hand, rubbing the exhaustion away.
"Someone to talk to?"
"Yes." He thinks for a second. "But you, specifically. I needed to talk to you."
"I'm here. Unless you'd rather wait until the morning? You must be beat."
"No, I need to get this off my chest. I need to talk to someone. And I know he's your brother, but..." he pushes himself off the car and starts walking, the need to move and beat away the exhaustion creeping in again. "You know what he's been through."
Maddie takes a second to catch up. "I see."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to compare what you both went through, but I don't know what to do here. We haven't even talked about it yet, and he seemed fine on the drive back, but I know he's not, and I just...please. What helped you after...you know..."
"After I was kidnapped and tortured?"
Eddie abruptly stops walking and turns. "Shit. Maddie. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be asking you this. Forget I ever..."
Maddie interrupts him. "Don't. Don't ever apologize for caring for him. I don't mind talking about it if you think it can help. What do you need?"
He takes a deep breath and looks up towards the night sky. It's cloudy, and he can only make out a few stars, but he lets his eyes bounce between them a few times before they settle on the moon. The sight brings him back down to earth.
"How do I help him through this?"
Maddie's heart breaks. She knows it won't be easy. She's been there, and it wasn't even her first traumatic encounter with someone trying to kill her. But this is Buck. He's always going to be her little brother. She will always have the instinct to protect him. Hell, she was already packing for New Mexico to look for him herself when they got the call that Eddie had found him. Because, of course, Eddie Diaz was the one to find him. He would fight through hell and back to make sure Buck was safe.
She may be Buck's big sister, but Eddie is Buck's best friend, and she watched from afar as they wove their lives together over the years. She thanks the stars every day that Buck found his person, and now he needs her help, too.
So she does what any big sister would do. She relives the worst day of her life to help her brother make sense of his.
"Noise helped. Not as a way to distract, but to feel grounded. Keep the TV on, running the laundry, hearing the lawnmower outside. Normal everyday noise to remind myself that I was home. Safe.
"Visitors were nice, but it took a while to get used to how people look at you differently. It isn't intentional, but I hated the concerned looks silently asking how I was doing. But things slowly went back to normal the more they saw me, so it was good to let people in.
"Be patient. He'll have good days and bad days. He may snap at you for something small, but don't let him. Be there for when he needs you. And take some time for yourself too. He'll feel better knowing that you and Chris are there, still keeping to your routines."
Eddie takes her words in but stops her before she continues, "Maddie. You know he's not at my house, right? When I said he was sleeping inside, I meant his house. He's not staying with me."
This surprises her. "Oh. Sorry, I just assumed..." She takes a second to think. Buck could stay with her, but with Jee and Baby Nash, it certainly wouldn't be ideal. The answer is obvious, though. "Eddie, please, can you take him home? For now, just to keep an eye on him. I'd feel better knowing that he wasn't alone. He's going to say he's fine, but he's going to need someone there with him."
Eddie nods and doesn't hesitate, "Of course. I should have insisted on it earlier."
"Thank you. And Eddie?" She pauses to be sure he listens to her next words carefully. "He's going to be okay."
Hearing those words shifts something loose, and suddenly Eddie is holding back tears, trying not to let all the emotions spill out at once. Unable to speak, he just keeps nodding and trying his best to hold it together. Maddie must sense this and tries to comfort him. "It's okay to let go. You found him, Eddie. You saved him. He's home because of you."
And that does it. Eddie lets out a sob and covers his face with his hand to hide himself. There's no one there to witness him breaking down, but it's instinctual. Because she's right. They almost lost Buck. And Eddie doesn't want to imagine a world without him. He remembers the moment he saw him crawling on the grass, battered and bruised, but alive. Eddie felt like his heart had stopped beating. And it wasn't until he could feel Buck's pulse beneath his fingertips that he could finally breathe again.
But that was yesterday. And now he's standing outside of Buck's house in L.A., not on the dusty lawn of the people who kidnapped him. So Eddie shakes out a few deep breaths and pulls himself together.
Maddie gives him time to collect himself before she continues with tears welling up in her own eyes. "I know I'll see you tomorrow, but I still need to say this now. Thank you. Thank you for bringing him home."
Eddie finally calms down enough to respond. "I'll always have his back. I'll always bring him home. Maddie, you have to know I-." He stops himself.
But Maddie didn't need him to finish. "I know. I love him, too."
They say their goodbyes and set a time for her to stop by in the afternoon. Eddie walks back toward Buck's house, past the car in the driveway, and up to the front door. He uses his spare key and lets himself in. Quietly, he walks his way back to Buck's room and takes a deep breath to compose himself. The door creaks open, and he takes a step inside.
Buck is sound asleep, facing away from him. Eddie slowly walks over and sits on the edge of the bed. He leans over and takes in Buck's face. It's dark, but he can still see the cuts and bruises scattered across his features. He expected this, but what surprises Eddie is how calm he looks. After everything he'd been through, seeing him sleep peacefully was almost enough to make him abort the plan and go home. But no. He told Maddie he would take Buck home with him, so instead, he leans over and gently cups the side of his friend's face.
Whispering, "Hey, Buck. Can you wake up for me?" He uses his other hand to rub up and down Buck's arm. It takes a moment, but Buck shifts beneath him and slowly blinks open his eyes and looks up at Eddie leaning over him.
He rubs his eyes, hoping it will help him see better, and then his brain suddenly catches up. "Eddie?" He focuses. "What's going on? Is Christopher with you?" He tries to push himself up, but Eddie places a hand to his chest.
"Hey. Hey. Everything's okay. Chris is still at home. I haven't checked on him yet."
Buck stills. "What do you mean? You left an hour ago, didn't you?"
"No." Eddie sighs and slowly leans back to give Buck some room to sit up. "I was outside. It tried to leave but... I'm taking you home. I know you're tired, and I'm sorry, but it's a short drive, and I'll get you all set up there."
Realizing what's happening, Buck protests, "Eddie. I'm fine. I promise. I fell asleep as soon as I laid down. There's nothing to worry about."
"I know. I know, but I don't want you here alone right now. Come stay with us for a few days. We're both still recovering, and we'll just take it easy." Tilting his head down, he lifts his eyes up sympathetically, "Please?"
Even in his current state of exhaustion, Buck couldn't say no to the Diaz puppy eyes. He sighs and swings his legs off the bed to start packing. It takes them a few minutes to put together a go bag, Buck grabbing the toiletries and painkillers while Eddie pulls together a few sets of clothes. They silently work together in tandem until he has all the essentials, and then they make their way outside. Eddie locks the door behind him and turns to find Buck looking at him curiously.
"What were you doing out here if you didn't drive home?"
Too tired to explain, Eddie chooses to ignore him and keeps walking toward the car. Buck follows and watches Eddie throw the duffel bag in the back and get into the driver's seat. He slides into the passenger seat and looks over at him, waiting.
Eddie, about to turn on the ignition, stops himself and drops his hands into his lap. Looking down, he confesses, "I couldn't see you. When you went inside, I couldn't see you anymore, and I kind of freaked out."
Buck takes a second to let the words settle over him. Eddie's cheeks grow pink, and he avoids Buck's eyes. Slowly, Buck reaches over and places his hand on Eddie's to get him to look up. Holding eye contact, he nods once. "Let's go home."
When Maddie sees Buck the next day, she doesn't pull him into a bone-crushing hug like she wishes she could. Instead, she pulls his face down towards her and dramatically kisses his birthmark.
"Gross, Maddie. Stop." He wipes at his face.
Eddie watches the exchange and chuckles from across the room, which gets Maddie's attention. They make eye contact, and Maddie's face shifts into something softer. She knows. He knows she knows, too, but they didn't discuss it last night. They didn't need to.
Breaking the moment she turns to Buck. "So. I saw the car in the driveway. Is that really the only rental they had in New Mexico?"
Buck laughs. "Ah, well, there's a story to that."
"Buck," Eddie warns.
Ignoring him, Buck continues, "You see that glorious scrap of metal is the car Eddie apparently hot-wired in broad daylight to come find me. Took it right out from under the guy's nose, too."
Eddie huffs. "He was clearly drunk, and besides, I was just borrowing it. I paid for it afterwards when I returned it. He didn't even notice the car was already running when he handed over the keys."
Maddie couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You stole a car?"
"Borrowed a car." Eddie insisted, again.
"After escaping out of a window and Uber-ing a literal horse. Then he stole a car."
"I didn't Uber a horse. I just asked a guy on a horse for a lift."
"Okay, sorry. He Lyft-ed a horse." Buck corrects with a smirk.
Eddie rolls his eyes, holding back a smile, and starts cleaning up their plates from lunch.
Maddie chuckles, "Well, I'm glad you both made it back here in one piece."
Eddie is grateful he didn't have to retell the rest of the day's events. He will eventually, of course, but Maddie, thankfully, seemed to understand and didn't push it further.
"Same here, but somebody wouldn't let me sleep when I finally went to bed. He woke me up and dragged me back here in the middle of the night."
There was no mirth behind it, but Eddie couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. He stops stacking the plates and finds Maddie studying him. A silent conversation happens between them. Buck looks back and forth, trying to understand what he's missing, but Eddie breaks off and continues cleaning up. He didn't tell Buck about calling Maddie yet. It isn't a secret, but they need to talk first before he explains why he had a panic attack in the driveway and needed to call her.
Buck tilts his head, questioning, but Maddie brushes it off. "Well, I think it's good that you're here. This way you can look after each other. It's nice to have someone by your side after you go through something like that."
Looking pointedly at Buck, she continues, "And I don't expect you to talk to me today, but I'm here when you're ready." She holds out her pinky, and Buck wraps his own pinky around hers.
"I will. I promise."
They spend the rest of the afternoon catching up and letting the conversation flow easily. Chris gets home from school just as Maddie is leaving, and while he tells Buck about his new project, Maddie quietly pulls Eddie aside.
She gives him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "Thank you again. I know you'll look after him, but call me if you need anything, okay? I may not have all the answers, but I'm glad you called me. We'll help him through this. Together."
Eddie, trying not to get emotional, nods and pulls her into another hug. "Thanks, Maddie. For everything."
She pulls back with one last squeeze and makes her way back to Buck and Chris to say her goodbyes. After she leaves, they fall back into a familiar routine. Chris does his homework, Eddie does a load of laundry, and Buck starts on dinner. They eat and watch TV together, and then Chris calls it a night and heads to bed.
Both of them are still slumped on the couch, but neither of them makes a move to get up. Buck sleepily lets his head fall to the side to look at Eddie sitting next to him. Quietly, he breaks the silence. "Thank you for bringing me back here. I think you were right," he sighs. "I needed this."
Eddie looks over and isn't surprised to see how tired he looks. Knowing he himself probably doesn't look much better. It wasn't a difficult day by any means, but sometimes adjusting back to normal makes things feel heavier. Especially at night when everything starts to creep back in to consume your thoughts.
Without second-guessing it, Eddie reaches out and touches Buck's knee. "Hey. We're not going anywhere. And we'll talk about it. I promise."
Buck watches Eddie's hand on his knee and hesitates for a second, then lets his own hand cover Eddie's. "Which part?"
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"Which part are we talking about? What happened to me? You? Or..." he looks up to meet Eddie's eyes, "Us?"
Eddie searches Buck's face and hums. He turns his hand over to interlock their fingers. "All of it. We'll talk about all of it."
Buck looks like he wants to push further, but thinks better of it and nods instead.
"We can talk about us first if you want, though."
This snaps Buck's attention back. "Yeah?"
Eddie yawns and squeezes his hand. "In the morning, though. I don't trust myself to form the right words right now."
Buck hides his smile and nods. They both move to get up, but as Buck starts to turn, Eddie makes a decision and softly pulls Buck toward him. He tentatively brings a hand up to cradle Buck's face and leans in. The kiss is soft and slow. Buck's hands move to land on Eddie's arm and waist to keep himself steady. It lasts only a few seconds, both far too exhausted to take it any further. Instead, it's a gentle promise for tomorrow.
They pull back at the same time, and Buck's face explodes into a grin. "Wow."
Eddie leans forward and rests his forehead on Buck's chest to hide his smile.
"You know I'm going to start thinking of pet names now, right?"
Eddie groans, the tender moment clearly over. He tries to move past him, but Buck's wide frame blocks his path. "Move it, Buckley. We both need sleep."
"No no this is important. I need to know what to call you when I wake up. Baby? Honey? Oh! What about Princess?"
That earns him a shove, and Eddie turns him around and pushes him toward the bedroom. "Don't even think about it."
Buck grins and looks back at him, and as Eddie watches Buck stumble toward the bedroom door, he realizes Maddie was right. No matter what tomorrow brings or the day after or the day after that, they're gonna be okay. Together.