Work Text:
Harris
Hey guys! Please interact with the latest Centaurs video that's just been posted.
Troy
Honestly, he worked very hard on this book 😉
Harris
'Ottawa Centaurs React to Hockey Romance'
Kyle
I fucking love you Harris! Why are we not hanging out more?
Ilya
Kyle and Harris? You two would make cute couple, an upgrade on geriatric Benny.
Bennett
Big words from you Ilya. How long did it take you to learn that?
Dinosaur Hunter
Did you guys actually read excerpts from smutty books about made-up hockey players?
Ilya
Yes. It was very interesting... Lots of new ideas 😉
Shane
It was so embarrassing. Please don't watch it.
Troy
Sparing everyone from knowing what Rozanov is going to do to you later?
Shane
OMG! He's not going to do anything based on those! 😈
Ilya
Don't be so sure 😈
Ilya
*message deleted*
Ilya
Shane made me delete my message
Bennett
Can Shane delete that from my eyes too? 😭
Harris
Guys please interact with the post! I want it to have good engagement. 🙏
Kyle
Bestie, it doesn't need any more help on good engagement
*screenshot of the views, likes, shares and comments*
Bennett
Who reads these books anyway?
Kip
Women. Gays and theys. Benny really? Now you want to be a literary snob with your Harvard degree in English?
Kyle
Benny baby. Yaoi is a thing.
Ilya
What is this yaoi? 🤔
Dinosaur Hunter
NOBODY explain to Ilya what is yaoi!
Ilya
Too late. I googled it.
Ilya
Very hot 🔥
Bennett
Harris, did you pick that book especially for Shane?
Dinosaur Hunter
We are doomed. Rozanov will only get worse!
Kip
Benny, which part of the video are you seeing?
Bennett
[1:23 - Shane reads an excerpt of 'You Melt My Heart of Ice']
Hey Shane! It's a funny coincidence that you read out loud from a book with a Korean Canadian hockey main character who's from Toronto and played for Montreal. 👀
Shane
Wait! What?
Ilya
Wait! Is this book about my husband?
Harris
Oops! 🙊
Dinosaur Hunter
Is this for real?
Ilya
Not surprised. Shane is very sexy and part of many people's wet dreams. If I write a book, Shane would be 🍆 🍑 💦 🔥 🥵
Shane
HARRIS!!
Kyle
OMG! Shane! Is this book about you?!
Kip
I just downloaded the e-book.
Fabian
I just got up from a nap and... thanks for the new reading material Harris 😉
Ilya
Shane is freaking out right now. I am comforting him.
Troy
I just had a read of the summary. He even falls in love with an extroverted bisexual 👀
Kyle
This is too uncanny. When did they write this?
Dinosaur Hunter
Kip is reading out loud the summary... can someone knock me out hard enough that I get amnesia?
Kip
Kyle, this book was published in 2013. 😮
Troy
Wow! This writer has mad skills to see what has been there all along.
Harris
She has written more than one book. This one just felt very... inspired.
Ilya
Shane is still freaking out. He's asking if he can get it taken down?
Harris
He wants the video down?
Ilya
No. The book 📕
Harris
Poor buddy. I'm afraid it's out there already.
Ilya
He's asking for the video to be taken down.
Harris
Has he heard of the Streisand effect? When the more you try make people to not talk about something, the MORE they talk about it.
Ilya
He's not breathing normally. What can we do? 🙏
Troy
It's just a book Shane. It's not real life
Dinosaur Hunter
Troy's right. People can write stories, romance books and it may be inspired by you. But remember it's not really about you. Maybe soon you can have a laugh that you are considered good enough to be the attractive hero in a romance novel.
Kyle
Yeah Shane. Seriously, you're a nice guy and a good role model for hockey. All great qualities as a romance book lead.
Troy
If I enjoyed reading, I'd read a book inspired by you.
Shane
Not helping...
Dinosaur Hunter
Great models are hard to come by in men's hockey. That's why we're here in this group chat. At least we're not fantasising about you.
Ilya
Speak for yourself. 😈
Kip
Come on now Scott! That's not what you said when you first heard the rumours. 😉
Harris
I think we should all probably admit that at some point when we found out that you were gay, we all fantasised about you. 🙋♂️
Kyle
🙋♂️
Kip
🙋♂️
Bennett
🙋♂️
Ilya
That is my husband you are talking about and you are all making him worse. 🙋♂️
Ilya
Shit! He's really not okay now.
Troy
🙋♂️
Fabian
🙋♂️ I'm really not into hockey players in general. Like I've made the exception with Ryan. But Shane, you may be a close second.
**one hour later**
Harris
Shane. I'm sorry. Please don't freak out.
Ilya
He has freaked out but now he is okay.
Harris
Phew. Glad you talked him out of it.
Ilya
Yes. I 'talked' him out of it. 😉
Shane
Hunter, can you please throw Ilya out of the group chat?
Dinosaur Hunter
Again?
Ilya
NNNOOOOOO
*Ilya Rozanov leaves the group chat*
Shane
Thanks and I'm going to need some time alone now so if you need me later. You know where to find me.
Kyle
😱 NO!
*Shane Hollander leaves the group chat*
Kyle
HARRIS WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Troy
Shit! Is this a third act break up from Shane?
Harris
I WAS ONLY DOING MY JOB! 😭
Bennett
Thank god that dickhead is gone now.
Kyle
But we lost them both now! 😭😭
Troy
I'll try talking to them at practice later today.
Dinosaur Hunter
Just let them cool off and they'll be back
Kyle
GET THEM BACK NOW!! 😭😭🙏🙏
The Price is Ryan
um... what did I miss?
932 words • 4 minutes to read