Chapter Text
August 27
Honestly I thought people attempting to say my full name back in South Africa was cringeworthy. That is, until I moved to the States. Now it's just pure debauchery. But considering the present circumstances, if I were provided the option to choose between being HERE and listening to Donald Trump have a go at genociding my name...I'd cheerfully accept the latter. And when I say 'here', I don't mean America.
God, no.
I've been thoroughly enjoying the beautiful West Coast weather. All sunshine and blue skies and weird old pot-bellied men skating along the grey pavement in a variety of, uhm, questionable bathing suits. Great food too! But not as great as New Orleans. My first ever spoonful of seafood gumbo ultimately brought me to the conclusion that world peace would only be achieved once the UN gathered all the world leaders into my best friend's backyard, each with his or her own bowlful of heaven.
I've been living in the States for a decent amount of time. Initially starting off as an exchange student from Johannesburg, during my course in aeronautical engineering, I won a national university beauty pageant. And being an official ambassador for my uni, I networked and got introduced to a series of awesome societies and underground departments that allowed for international travel without the atypical requirement of outstanding academic performance...I swear, why doesn't anyone ever bothered telling us about these gems during O! Week in first year?! After a little brown-nosing here and bullshitting there, I got offered the opportunity to shadow a major marketing director in the USA for a year.
I'm also a pathological liar. What? You seriously can't tell me you bought that aeronautical engineering crap?!
To cut a long story short and save you from falling into a vegetated state of boredom - all drool down your chin and eyes rolled back into your head - I returned to Johannesburg a year later to complete my degree (Marketing if you must know), graduated, kissed my strict African parents goodbye ("don't come back here with a baby and dololo wedding ring wena!!") and flew my ass back up here with a sickening CV that landed me a job in Cali working in sports marketing.
So now that we're up to scratch as to how I got here, I suppose I should fill you in on the other "here" I was referring to. You know, the one where my name and the rest of my life is currently in the process of being thrown under a moving train.
Well, we'll get to that story...all in good time.