Work Text:
Do caterpillars know they are going to change inside their cocoon? Or do they just awake unaware that they are no longer the same?
Do they feel grateful for the protection the cocoon provided while they were melting inside? Even if the cocoon was the reason they were destroyed in the first place.
Do they awaken clean of all they had carried in their previous form? Or are they still moved by gluttony, no matter what?
Do they despise the cocoon they made? Do they miss how things were? Did they have free will in the first place?
Can they survive the winter? The shivers? The cold?
A cold that feels like it’s going to melt his skin from the inside. That boils the brain, making it unaware of time, unable to tell what is fantasy and what is real. A brain that becomes malleable enough for unspoken words to echo in his skull, sending consciousness far away while the owner tries to hold onto what is left of him, all while his body is wracked with pain.
Memories twisted; fever made the past and present melt into one. Shivers made glimpses of images resurface: how it happened.
The roof.
The snow.
He, standing.
All alone.
And yet, some pieces were lost—things he couldn’t recall at all. Getting down, going inside, or curling into the sheets.
While some pieces of his mind were lost, his body was prostrate. Deeply exhausted by how the air grew heavier; his skin tired from the sweat, feeling too real, too wet. His retinas felt as if they were burning in front of the sun, even with his eyelids closed. And when he dared to peek, he felt sick from the same image of his room, spinning around.
The sound of a familiar voice caught his attention; it was faint, but it snapped him out of his decaying state.
"Sweetheart?"
There was no one else in that room, and even so, Ford called out to the emptiness. His answer was barely a whisper that burned his throat.
"Mom?"
"Oh darling, you look terrible. What happened?"
Ford tried to look around for the origin of the voice, but his body was rooted to the bed. Without any strength, he closed his eyes once more.
"It’s nothing, Ma. I just need some water."
He didn’t know if he had said it out loud or if it was just his thoughts.
"Honey, I can help you."
That reply was somehow relaxing; it sounded perfect.
"Do you want me to help you?"
It was too perfect.
Ford slowly nodded his head.
He could feel his brain bounce inside his skull—dizziness. It wasn’t new; he had been having those sensations since he got the flu. Well, at least he could have something in exchange.
Something so simple.
"Thanks, Mom."
So mundane.
How did she know?
As a glass of water...
When did she come?
Neither cold nor fever. His body was light as a feather. His hands rose first, back straight, a half-turn. His feet extended, his gaze sharp and fixed on the ceiling with swollen eyes, and his mouth deformed into a smile from ear to ear.
An intruder that kept mocking him—the joke of a body that did not belong to him anymore. And the only thing he could do was watch, as his mind tried to keep track of what happened.
"So, Sixer, if you wanted any help, you could have asked ME—you know, the ALL-MIGHTY GOD—instead of... what? Crying out for your mommy?"
"Aww, it is so sweet how inferior life forms clamor for equally inferior life forms."
A chuckle escaped Ford’s own throat.
"Just because they brought them into the world... how they cry by pure instinct even when a far better answer exists. After all, vessels are just for feeding, but..."
A grin widened across Ford’s face.
"...pleas are for the Gods."
"FORGET IT, CIPHER! THIS ISN'T GONNA—"
"Work? Do you think I don’t know, Brainiac? You made that pretty clear with that extra security you added to the portal entrance. But hey, it was fun to try."
The demon extended Ford’s fingers.
"These hands of yours... they’ve got such a beautiful red, and now some nice scars."
"So what? Are you going to throw my body into the lake or dispose of it like trash?"
"Geez, even as an ethereal form, you're still being so dramatic. But I gotta give you some credit; you got it right. I was planning to—but not for now. It would be such a killjoy. I want five more minutes of this. And since you BEGGED for someone to clean YOUR mess, well, that’s what I’m here for. But to be honest, I don't get it. I knew there were people who evacuate their guts, but then there’s you... claiming for your incubator just because of a cold."
"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! I’D RATHER DIE THAN HAVE YOU IN MY BODY!"
"You know what? I’ll give you that chance. A chance... to crawl your way out of this. But don’t forget: it’s just five more minutes until I get bored, or until you end up crying for help again."
Ford would have liked to respond with hatred, dignity, or at least an insult, but his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth when he tried to speak. His body—that foreign, treacherous body, lent to an intruder—fell forward as soon as Bill abandoned the rigid pose that had been supporting him.
He fell to his knees, then to his side. The fall was soft, as if he had landed on fresh snow, but the impact on his mind was brutal: everything spun. The rough texture of the wooden floor welcomed his hands once more.
"It’s just a cold."
"I can."
"I can."
"I..."
"I..."
"I can’t get up."
Ford clenched his teeth. His voice was barely a thread:
"What… did… you… do?"
The voice of his thoughts distorted; sentences overlapped one another until he could hear a coherent answer.
"Hey, don’t blame me for that, Sixer. That wasted meat suit was like that when I found it! Besides, I clearly told you I would let YOU CRAWL your way outta this. So hurry, little caterpillar, before that cocoon of yours ends the job by melting you."
Ford did not respond. He could not. He propelled himself with one elbow, then with the other. The floor was icy, rough. The wood creaked under his weight. Each movement was a world. His breathing made a buzzing in his ears.
The lines that gave meaning to the world disappeared; objects stretched, twisted, and their colors mixed.
From that blurred disaster, collapsed spaces devoid of color emerged.
First, in the hallway:
I don't need you, I DON'T NEED ANYONE.
Then one next of him
Kings of New Jersey.
°
Kings of New Jersey.
°
Kings of New Jersey .
°
And the world finally collapsed beneath him.
Then its a deal, from now until the end of time
Time
ǝɯı̣ꓕ
Time was none existent in the dark.
There was not up nor uʍop.
There wasn't even a him anymore.
There was only a voice.
sixer
ɹǝxı̣s
sixer
ɹǝxı̣s
sixer
ɹǝxı̣s
Sound waves that bounced, and that, once again, gave it shape.
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.
Ford’s eyes adjusted to reality once more.
"W... What is this place?" Ford asked, looking around.
"Can’t you tell?" Bill asked, casually adjusting his bowtie.
The scientist felt a shiver run down his spine.
"A wasteland?" Ford responded.
"It’s Earth, Sixer—after WE made it FUN!"
"This is your home, Brainiac. Or, well, what remains of it after what YOU did."
"THAT CANNOT BE. THE PORTAL—"
"It’s been open for years."
YEARS!? Ford thought to himself.
But it’s only been seconds.
Ford felt his throat closing again.
Seconds.
And his body was lacking oxygen.
Insignificant seconds.
And he was choking.
A mere blink.
And reality ceased to exist.
Cold air.
Inhale.
He was awake again.
Exhale.
It burned his lungs.
Same place, same old wooden floor. His body was halfway through; it was almost done. He just needed to crawl a little bit more. To crawl while his mind spiraled down.
Pyrexia: An abnormally high body temperature, typically caused by illness or an ailment.
Strength: The quality or state of being physically strong.
Water: A source of life.
Life: The antonym of death.
Death: The end of everything.
I can’t let this happen—to end like this.
TO DIE.
To be a corpse. An unburied corpse no one searched for.
Strength: I have no more.
Pyrexia: It’s boiling me down.
Death: It’s...
So peaceful...
Is this how it feels?
To end like this, to know I would just become another nameless skeleton buried in this place.
Alone...
I can no longer feel the fever.
I feel so light.
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A man floating in a melting mind; an atheist burning in the dark.
A cocoon made in the cold.
And a god, making his own will.
"Aww, Fordsy, giving up so soon? You made your cocoon two minutes early."
Bill’s hands pressed against Ford’s cheek.
"You… You… are… here?" His voice was barely a whisper.
"Of course I’m here, Sixer. I’m always here."
Cipher moved his hand away.
"C—cold claws… they’re… cold…" Ford murmured unconsciously. "Please… don’t take them off…"
Bill tittered at the request.
"Wow, you’re really thirsty, aren’t you?"
Bill’s hands moved, pressing against Ford’s throat.
"It helps… And… I… don't… want…"
Bill pressed a little bit harder.
"So, are you thrusting your life upon me again?"
Ford nodded his head.
"Aww, Sixer, but I don’t want to play charades."
He moved his hands down slowly.
"Say it."
Each finger found its way, palms pressing down. Every movement carried clear intentions, pursuing something greater than lust, better than inflicting pain.
"I need you."
And it was done. He had molded a man’s will to his own.
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A foot moved, then the other. It was a lethargic dream. A mechanical will.
Finger pads reached for the wooden table.
It was so close, and yet...
So far.
A breath hitched in his throat.
No.
No—no—
His fingers slipped.
The sound was resounding, decisive—like a gavel delivering a verdict. But this time, the world didn’t bend, didn’t crack, didn’t collapse. It remained exactly as it was.
And there was only him, on that rough floor, staring with tired eyes at the underside of the table.
Swollen throat, chaotic mind, fueled by inner thoughts.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Metamorphosis; it happens in silence.
Someone, please.
To melt.
Please.
To feel how tears...
HELP.
...burned the pride that remained.
I JUST WANT SOME WATER.
Leaving just ashes.
PLEASE.
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In the silence of that cabin, a hoarse, broken, and exhausted voice cried out.
"BILL."
As each word emerged, it burned, punished, and purified.
"HELP ME."
In his pleas, suffering could be heard; the words tasted like iron.
"MY MUSE."
"˙ǝɯ ןןɐɔ oʇ ʇɐɥʍ pǝɹǝqɯǝɯǝɹ ʎןןɐuı̣ɟ no⅄"
Do moths feel grateful for the light? Even if it comes from a flame?
Do they know that it could burn their wings away? That they would lose the very reason they survived all of this in the first place?
Do they have another option when freezing is a threat?
The flame was warm.
The glass was cold.
The sound of liquid going down a sore throat.
Tears of relief falling.
Pieces of memories lost, nowhere to be found.
The sensation of shivers calming down. The bed rocking him to sleep, sheets curling around him.
A peaceful dream: an endless field, stars brightening and whispering.
"Aren't you forgetting something, Fordsy?"
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..........Thanks.