Work Text:
April 3, 2014 9:42p
Marleau: I think Im being haunted
Marleau: By shane hollander
Connors: What does that mean
Connors: His plays?
Connors: Or the fact that he kicks our ass half the time
Marleau: You know that collab he did with dior last year
Marleau: the cologne?
Connors: No?
Connors: I dont pay attention to that stuff dude
Connors: Why would i know that
Marleau:The ads were everywhere
Marleau: You didnt see them?
Connors: Guess not
Connors: what about it
Marleau: I keep smelling it
Marleau: and I dont know where its coming from
Connors: Why do you know what it smells like
Marleau: That girl I was seeing last year bought me some
Marleau: a sampler one.
Marleau: Its okay
Marleau: Kind of bland
Connors: okay so you’re smelling it because you have it?
Marleau: No she threw it away when she left
Marleau: and Ive moved since then and its definitely gone
Connors: Okay so then someone else is wearing it?
Marleau: I cant figure out who
Marleau: Its not all the time, just every once in a while i’ll smell it and know it’s there but i dont know where its coming from
Connors: Where are you smelling it
Marleau: usually the locker room or the rink. even during away games
Connors: Then its someone on the team wearing it. mystery solved
Marleau: No man
Marleau: Its weird
Marleau: Who would wear hollanders cologne? Everyone on the team hates the guy
Connors: I dont
Connors: I mean not personally. he seems like a chill dude
Connors: Hate playing him though
Marleau: I just think its weird
Marleau: It’s bothering me
Connors: Forget it
Connors: its not a big deal
Marleau: Yeah ok
October 29, 2014 4:52p
Marleau: Do you remember what we talked about in april
Connors: No?
Marleau: the cologne
Connors: what cologne?
Marleau: Shane hollander’s cologne
Marleau: dior
Connors: Right
Connors: you’re still on that?
Marleau: Im still smelling it!!
Marleau: And yesterday when I pushed hollander into the boards i smelled it on him!!
Connors: Okay so he wears his own cologne
Connors: big whoop
Marleau: no but not only him
Marleau: Him and someone else
Connors: What are you talking about man
Marleau: I could smell it on the ice because hollzy wears it but in the locker room i was smelling it last week
Connors: so someone on the team wears it. we already figured that out
Marleau: but who
Marleau: It has to stop its annoying as shit
Marleau: Im going to figure it out
Connors: Okay man
Connors: Whatever you say
February 24, 2015 6:27p
Marleau: what kindof cologne do you wear
Connors: i usually dont
Connors: but sometimes I use the chanel one my girlfriend got me
Connors: NOT shane hollanders cologne
Marleau: damnit
November 4, 2015 2:09p
Marleau: No one on the team wears it but I smelled it today
Connors:It’s been a year man give it a rest
Marleau: I cant
Marleau: I think its rozy
Marleau: but I know he wears that weird russian shit
Marleau: But sometimes i smell it when Im near him
Connors: Okay?
Connors: Maybe he hangs out with someone who wears it and it lingers
Connors: Im sure lots of guys wear it. Hollander is pretty popular like everywhere
Connors: People who arent his enemies probably love it
Marleau: Not in boston they dont
Marleau: Maybe his montreal girl gave him some to wear
Marleau: She probably has to like hollander right
Marleau: And maybe he wears it to make her happy
Connors: Probably
Marleau: But it doesnt make sense
Connors: Yes it does
Marleau: Its too easy
Connors: I dont want to talk about this anymore dude
Connors: You havetoo much time on your hand if youre worried about this shit
Marleau: maybe
February 6, 2016 9:18p
Marleau: ITS HERE
Marleau: I CAN FUCKING SMELL IT
Connors: what are you fucking talking about
Connors: it’s midnight over here
Connors: Did the game already end?
Marleau: THAT FUCKING HOLLANDER PERFUME
Connors: Hollander is there isnt he
Connors: its probably him dipshit
Connors: let me sleep
Marleau: NOT HIM
Marleau: I HAVENT SEEN HM IN HOURS
Connors: Its only like 9 there how are you already wasted
Marleau: ME AND ROZ WENT TO THE BAR AS SOON AS THE GAME WAS OVER
Connors: Good night man
Connors: try not to drink too much
Connors:alcohol poisoning at the all stars game is a bad look
February 7, 2016 11:09a
Marleau: it has to be roz
Connors: good morning
Connors: hows your hangover
Marleau: killing me
Marleau: but I went to roz’s room last night to drop him off and the whole fucking place reeked of that damn dior cologne
Marleau: so its definitely roz
Connors: Okay
Connors: what do you want me to do with that information
Marleau: Tell me I’m not crazy
Connors: I dont know man
Connors: Ive never smelledit
Marleau: what
Connors: He only ever wears that Russian stuff like you said
Connors: he always smells like it
Connors: Ive never seen him use anything else or smelled anything different
Connors: I think you let it get to your head
Marleau: Are you fucking with me
Connors: I mean think about it
Connors: Would Rozy wear HOLLANDER’S cologne?
Connors: He hates the guy
Marleau: I dont think he hates him
Marleau: He definitely respects him a little
Connors: We all respect him a little
Connors: Hes shane fucking hollander
Connors: Hes hockey jesus
Marleau: SO maybe roz would wear it
Connors: No I dont think so
Connors: I think youre either full or shit oryou should see the team doc
Marleau: you dont believe me
Marleau: I swear to god man
Marleau: Honest
Marleau: He smells like that shit
Connors: I dont buy it
Connors: But you have an all stars weekend to finish
Marleau: I will make you smell him next time
Connors: Youre gonna make me smell our team captain?
Connors: youve gone off the deep end man
March 16, 2016 3:47p
Marleau: so?
Connors: No
Marleau: what the hell why not
Connors: I’m not smelling our captains sweatshirt
Connors: that you STOLE
Marleau: BUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME
Connors: Youre sick
Connors: Unfit to be alternate captain
Marleau: you just dont wnat to believe that I’m right
Connors: I want to believe that you just need a week at the seaside to fix whatever the hell psychosis this is
April 25, 2016 11:28a
Marleau: Okay guys did anyone notice anything weird about Rozy today
St-Simon: Aside from the fact that he ditched us fast as fuck last night? No
Carmichael: its montreal
Carmichael: he’s got a girl to see
Connors: he seemed fine to me
Connors: I mean he was in a really good mood last night and this morning but thats not that weird
Connors: And I assumed it was because of his girl
Marleau: Okay, but did he SMELL weird to any of you this morning?
Carmichael: what
Connors: here we go again
St-Simon: None of us were smelling him
St-Simon: At least I wasn’t
Carmichael: Why the fuck would any of us have paid attention to what he smelled like
Carmichael: Were you paying attention to it?
Marleau: YES
St-Simon: Thats gay as hell Marly
Carmichael: I knew you were the sidepiece
Marleau: Why would I be the sidepiece and not the main?
St-Simon: Montreal Jane is obviously the main
Marleau: Im his best friend I feel like i take priority
Carmichael: No way man
Carmichael: You’ve seen the way he kicks his feet and shit when hes texting her
Carmichael: Your a side chick at best
Connors: *you’re
Connors: Also guys we could just not talk about fucking our captain
Connors: Thats always an option
St-Simon: Why were you smelling him Marly
Marleau: TO SEE IF HE SMELLS LIKE HOLLANDERS COLOGNE
Carmichael: I think Im not gonna ask
Connors: Please dont
St-Simon: I kinda want to ask
Connors: Please DONT
St-Simon: ok I have to ask
St-Simon: What the fuck are you talking about
December 14, 2016 6:38p
Connors: You know
Connors: I think something is wrong with Rozy
Marleau: Yeah
Marleau: No shit
Connors: Hes been playing like trash and hes just sulking all of practice
Marleau: I think it has to do with his Montreal girl
Marleau: He hasnt smelled like her recently
Connors: Come on man
Connors: This again
Marleau: I dont think he saw her when we were there last time
Marleau: I mean maybe he did but I didnt smell the hollander shit so
Connors: You’re like a dog
Marleau: Yeah dude
Marleau: He’s my best friend
Connors: No one else can smell any cologne
Connors: You’re hallucinating I think
Marleau: I have a strong sense of smell
Marleau: also I just told you I didnt smell it
Marleau: Did you miss that part?
Marleau: And you all call me dumb
January 28, 2017 4:32p
Marleau: Nevermind
Marleau: I guess his girl must bein tampa because he reeks of the hollander cologne again
Marleau: Hes happy though
Marleau: something must have happened
Marleau: Stop ignoring me this is important
Connors: It really isnt
Marleau: You dont care about him at all
Connors: I dont care what he smells like, no as long as he doesnt reek
Connors: And also, you’re crazy
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March 20, 2021 5:03p
Connors: Did you see the video
Marleau: Yes of course I saw it
Marleau: I texted him
Connors: Same
Marleau: sucks that it came out that way but I feel less crazy now
Connors: What?
Connors: You knew?
Marleau: The cologne
Connors: Motherfucker
Connors: You cannot still be on that
Marleau: I WAS RIGHT
Marleau: I WAS smelling it on him
Marleau: It just wasnt from jane
Connors: dipshit hollander IS jane
Marleau: holy shit
Marleau: THAT MAKES EVEN MORE SENSE
Connors: Are you fucking concussed
Marleau: No just haunted