Work Text:
business chat (george said)
Charles:
so me and Max were thinking
George:
pfffft
I hardly believe that
Max:
don’t try me today
Charles:
okay… so I was thinking
Max:
Charles, don’t make me mad
Carlos:
damn, he’s serious
Kimi:
what is this dictatorship ass relationship?
Ollie:
Charles, get up and smack him
George:
is he bothering you, Charles?
can I offer you different options?
Charles:
different options of what?
George:
of boyfriends, obviously
looks like the current creature is not treating you right
Max:
are you seriously talking about me??
George:
I don’t know, am I?
Max:
are you?
I’m gonna put you into a wall
George:
is that gonna be before or after you go from p8 to p15 at the start of the race??
just curious, you know
so I can add it to my calendar
Kimi:
the girls are fighting again
Isack:
this is sending me
Alex:
better than a movie
Max:
you find this funny, Alex, hmmm??
shouldn’t you be worrying about finishing p20?
Alex:
why is he so edgy today
damn, cannot even make jokes around him
George:
that dsq is probably calling to him like the green goblin mask
Lando:
GEORGE
HAHAHHHA
Max:
bitch, I’m calling Toto
Ollie:
uh oh, someone’s gonna lose his seat
Carlos:
and it’s not gonna be Kimi
George:
as if Toto would replace me with that ice age character
Lando:
…
Charles:
…
Kimi:
…
Alex:
the silence is loud
George:
I hate all of you
Charles:
are you done now?
back to what I wanted to tell you before you started arguing
me AND MAX were thinking about inviting you all to our wedding anniversary celebration
Max:
woody is not invited anywhere
George:
???
what is your problem, fucker
Max:
I don’t wanna have tung tung tung sahur lookalike in my garden
you would ruin the aesthetics
Carlos:
@Charles they’re at it again
Charles:
ladies, let’s calm down
ALL OF YOU are invited
also, about some desserts, let me know if you would prefer chocolate cake or vanilla one with berries
Kimi:
chocolate definitely
Ollie:
I would rather have vanilla with berries
Oscar:
I want babies
Lando:
I’LL DO IT
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE
NONE OF YOU FUCKERS IS GONNA TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME
Oscar:
*berries
umm so…
Max:
that’s awkward
George:
I would never set my foot in the paddock again
Carlos:
that’s… that’s a tough one
Kimi:
oh my god
Ollie:
you’re such a loser
Alex:
take his phone away, this is ridiculous
Lando:
what did i miss?
Max:
mf I hope you’re not pretending you didn’t send any texts
we all saw that
Carlos:
he deleted them
Lando, too late
Kimi:
I have screenshots
Lando:
don’t know what you talking about
Isack:
acting nonchalant all of the sudden
as if he wasn’t begging for Oscar’s babies 2 minutes ago
Charles:
does he know we can see what’s happening??
Oscar:
anyways
chocolate cakes are nasty, so please don’t make me eat it
Max:
so you just gonna ignore him?
Kimi:
girl, bye-
not him just ignoring Lando
unbothered king
Oscar:
well, he took it back and deleted the messages
coward doing his cowardly things
not gonna bother with him
Ollie:
THE SHADE ???
Kimi:
clock his ass, queen
Max:
…
daaaamn, he’s had enough
Carlos:
someone’s in trouble…
Lando:
excuse me
Oscar:
you’re excused
Lando:
oscar, stop being sassy
of course i’m not gonna let everyone make fun of me for being your little bitch
Oscar:
well, we could switch places if you want
Max:
I think I skipped some episodes
Carlos:
the whole plot probably
what the fuck
Isack:
I’m gagged, what just happened
George:
I’m employed, what does this all mean?
Alex:
so basically Lando wants to top Oscar and Oscar wants that too??
George:
Alex, rhetorical question…
Lando:
i may or may not be hard rn
Max:
yeah, thanks for sharing
much appreciated
Alex:
sarcasm btw
George:
…
Oscar:
@Lando let me see and judge that for myself
Charles:
okay, I changed my mind
me and Max are actually getting a divorce so none of you is invited anywhere
Max:
WHAT
why am I catching strays??
you fuckers cannot let me have one thing
JUST ONE
so let’s get it straight
all of you are gonna come on Saturday
we gonna have bbq
I’ll order both chocolate and vanilla cake
we gonna have a good time
none of you are gonna ruin this for Charles
if I see only a little frown on his face you’re all dead
is that clear?
yes Kimi, you can play on my PlayStation
no George, you cannot do your own steak even tho I never make it to your liking
you gonna eat what I give you
no Lando, you and Oscar cannot leave earlier than everyone else
yes Pierre, you should wear a nice wig or at least a cap
yes Lewis, there are gonna be vegan versions of everything
no Gabi, you not gonna swim in our pool without a swimsuit
yes Liam, you can bring your guitar
no Carlos, you cannot buy a gift only for Charles
@Everyone got it?
Ollie:
crash out of the century
Pierre:
why do I need to wear something on my head?
Charles:
next question, please
George:
@Charles please tell your husband that he’s an absolute prick and that he cannot make the steaks properly
Max:
“oh no, my lobster is too buttery and my steak is too juicy”
shut the fuck up
Lando:
so about what max wrote…
are these like rules or just recommendations?
Max:
THESE ARE THE GROUND RULES
I swear to god, the moment I see you just standing next to Oscar I’m personally throwing you over the fence
Lando:
so I can’t even be near him??
why
Max:
are you seriously asking?
maybe because you cannot control yourself around him
Lando:
that’s not true
where did you get that
Kimi:
genuinely cannot tell if he’s for real or fucking with Max just for the love of the game
Isack:
either way, I respect that
Oscar:
he could be fucking someone else…
Charles:
okay, we gonna draw the line here
I don’t want to hear any sexual innuendos
not now not on Saturday
Carlos:
oh but when you and Max do it it’s okay??
Charles:
we don’t do shit like these
Lewis:
I walked in on you hooking up in the bathroom yesterday
Max:
oh now you have something to say??
Lando:
i think you owe me an apology
i may have no self-control around osc but you’re much worse
like literally on whole another level
i don’t even remember times when you were not obsessed with charles
Oscar:
your self-control around me is actually astounding
I’m always trying so hard but you never seem to acknowledge me
Carlos:
is this a joke?
Ollie:
say sike rn
Lando Norris not paying attention to you??
do we live in the same dimension?
Alex:
if something he’s acknowledging you TOO MUCH
Isack:
that dumbass was literally watching landoscar edits on tiktok
Oscar:
he’s not special, I do that too
Max:
SATURDAY IS CANCELED
Kimi:
like the celebration or the day itself?
Max:
this is what I get for not forwarding that one chain email when I was 15