Work Text:
business chat (george said)
Gabi:
hello everyone
how are you this fine afternoon?
I hope you’re doing good
cuz I’m gonna tell you something rn and make someone’s day much worse
Lando:
i have been in hell since march
it can’t get any worse
Max:
I’m on suicide watch for the last two races
wdym it can get worse??
Alex:
please, leave me out of this
I have had enough already
Ollie:
kindly fuck off
Charles:
whole house is depressed
except for me, I have really strong antidepressants
nothing can make me crash out
Gabi:
so… I found a pregnancy test in the trash in the omega bathrooms near our common room
and it’s positive
Charles:
WHAT
Max:
oh, it CAN get worse
not for me tho
Oscar:
someone’s day just got ruined
Ollie:
oh my god, that poor soul
Alex:
I nearly got a heart attack
that poor omega
George:
I don’t wanna be that person but like… I’m pretty sure one of you guys is pregnant
if Gabi found it in the omega bathrooms near the common room, it must have been left there by a driver cuz the bathrooms there are only for us
Alex:
not me
Oscar:
never even used that bathrooms
Charles:
yeah, like who would be so dumb and leave a whole positive pregnancy test there
Ollie:
I’m too young for that
Gabi:
well, it’s obviously not me
George:
guys, it HAS to be one of you
Max:
ohhh, interesting
we have a liar here
I think it was Gabi’s
he just pointed it out cuz he wanted us to not suspect him
Gabi:
if it was me, I would have never even told you, obviously
please use your brain sometimes
Carlos:
this leaves us with Charles, Oscar, Ollie and Alex
what do you have to say in your defense?
Charles:
can we please just not discuss this anymore?
Oscar:
it’s none of our business
that omega must be stressed out enough
Ollie:
yeah, let’s just drop it
Alex:
we don’t have to know everything, am I right?
Max:
this is not suspicious at all
Lando:
never ever saw them agree on something this easily
George:
they’re playing some mind games
don’t be fooled by them
Carlos:
something’s fishy
Lando:
get that fish out of here then
Max:
…
thank god he’s not the pregnant one
cuz he should never reproduce
Lando:
says the guy who thinks tomatoes are fruit
George:
is that not-
nevermind
Max:
leave him be
maybe one day he’s gonna realize how dumb he actually is
Lando:
you’re kinda chill about the fact that you gonna be a father soon
Carlos:
damn, he connected the dots quite fast
Max:
I am gonna be a father??
you’re the irresponsible one
I put a 100 dollars bet on you to make someone pregnant first of all of us
other guys are quite sure about you too
George:
I put 50 dollars on Max
Max:
yeah, George, you and your absurd theories
Charles:
why are you guys even making a bet about this?
Carlos:
it’s fun, Charles
Max:
yeah, and I’m gonna get so rich by doing that
Charles:
of course you gonna…
George:
so who’s pregnant?
Carlos:
…
and suddenly all of them are quiet
Lando:
it’s obviously Charles
he and Max cannot take their hands of each other
Kimi:
let’s rewind a bit
I won’t say names but certain someone won a championship like four months ago
big celebrations took place
and I remember certain someone taking someone else to their hotel room for the night…
Lando:
this might be about me
Max:
wow, you finally had a courage to confess and four months later you find out you gonna be a dad
Lando:
right, if you think i didn’t use protection then you must be stupid
George:
and did you really?
Lando:
i’m actually not sure
in my defense, i just won a championship
i was drunk and oscar was standing there all pretty
what was i supposed to do??
Carlos:
be careful and prevent all this from happening?
Lando:
stop judging me
we don’t even know if osc is the one who’s pregnant
i was extra responsible that night, i think
@Oscar it’s not you, right?
Max:
…
it’s been twenty minutes and still no answer…
I think we’ve got our winner
congratulations, dad
George:
well, I didn’t expect that
but congratulations are in order
Carlos:
almost a teen dad
congrats, bro
Lando:
OSCAR WHY ARENT YOU SAYING ANYTHING
i’m getting nervous
@Max it’s your fault
Max:
my fault??
how is you being a freak who doesn’t use protection my fault??
Lando:
if you had won the championship this wouldn’t have happened
Max:
oh I’m sure you would be okay with pretending that you’re not in love with your teammate for another ten years
Lando:
shut the hell up
that’s not what was happening
Carlos:
we all had to listen to you going on and on and on about Oscar all the time
Kimi:
and look at you now
expecting a baby with your biggest crush
dreams do come true
Lando:
you know, ollie has been sick a lot lately…
i wonder if you have anything to do with that
George:
he literally puked his guts yesterday
said he must have eaten something bad but now I find it suspicious
Kimi:
must have been really nasty food to make him puke
he’s normally quite though
Max:
… interesting
Kimi:
I noticed that Charles’ smell has changed lately…
you two together plus a faint milk scent
Max:
cuz he drinks a lot of milk, duh
Lando:
riiiiight
and osc eats a lot of my kinder chocolates these days but does he smell like one? no
George:
hard to believe Oscar would eat this much sweets
Lando:
yeah i was surprised too
he said something about cravings
Carlos:
so who’s gonna tell him?
Kimi:
so you were NOT that careful…
Oscar:
I did not eat that much, please stop exaggerating
Max:
and now he answers…
Oscar:
well I have to call him out when he so obviously lies
Lando:
you ate half my maxi kinder stock??
Oscar:
I am a growing boy
George:
you are a growing boy or are you growing one?
Oscar:
shut up, George
Carlos:
that’s not a no tho
Lando:
why did you not answer
OSCAR WHY DIDNT YOU ANSWER HIM
oscar come back
Max:
be nice to him
he’s the mother of your future child
Lando:
if you don’t stop provoking me
Charles:
@Max can you buy me caramel ice cream and pickles on your way home?
oh and chilli sauce
Kimi:
hmm, maybe we were wrong after all
Carlos:
interesting combination
Max:
@Charles … what do you need that for?
Lando:
i just love when charles always puts you in your place
i wonder who would eat these three things together…
Max:
maybe he’s just making some weird recipe
Charles:
oh no, don’t worry! no more weird cooking for you to try!
I just kinda want to eat ice cream and had this feeling that pickles and chilli are gonna be a good side dish for that
Max:
oh my god I’m so cooked
George:
shit car and a baby on the way
what a year for you
Carlos:
wow, George is gonna win the bet
didn’t expect that
Ollie:
does anyone have any anti vomiting pills?
everything’s making me nauseous
I must have food poisoning
Kimi:
I have to make a call…
Carlos:
three at the same time??
Max:
@Ollie yeah, they’re called condoms and you can find them in every store
Lando:
they must have hidden them from you then
Max:
bitch, did you confuse them with kinder maxis?
cuz that’s apparently all you bought there too
Lando:
fyi oscar still hasn’t confirmed anything
for all we know he just started liking chocolate
Max:
you are so right
he had your kinder maxi once and now he’s cosplaying kinder egg with a little toy inside
Oscar:
why am I being compared to a chocolate egg
Max:
cuz Lando made you look like one
Oscar:
I like kinder joy much more
Lando:
just tell him you don’t look like any of these??
…
OSCAR THIS IS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE
WHY DO YOU GHOST ME EVERY TIME
Carlos:
so here’s your answer
Max:
I TOLD YOU
Charles:
@Max I need you to massage my feet when you get home, my ankles are kinda swollen
Max:
I don’t want to hear anything from any of you
@Charles yes, Charlie
Lando:
man, you’re so embarrassing
Oscar:
@Lando can you buy me more kinder maxi, please?
Lando:
of course, osc
@Max shut up
Max:
I didn’t even say anything
Carlos:
yet
Lando:
i could see your snarky comment coming from miles away
nest is the best (omegas only)
Gabi:
so when do you think is the best time to tell them it was april fools?
Oscar:
let them suffer a little bit longer
Charles:
yeah, I quite like bossing Max around
Alex:
it’s so funny seeing them panic, especially Lando
that boy was scared for his life
but I think he would actually be excited to become a dad
Gabi:
Max wasn’t too against either
Oscar:
season so bad they would rather be dads
Charles:
yeah, one day I’ll make him my wag
Ollie:
guys, we have a problem
Alex:
did Kimi find out about our little joke?
Ollie:
well, not really
it’s not a joke anymore
I just found out my little sickness was not from the food poisoning like I originally thought
Charles:
oh
Oscar:
now’s not the time for more jokes, Ollie
Gabi:
I’m sorry, what
Ollie:
yeah…
Alex:
I’m actually speechless
what the fuck
Charles:
the guys are gonna have a field day with this
Oscar:
well, at least it’s happening only now and you’re not gonna be a teen mom
can’t say the same about Kimi tho
Ollie:
you’re not making it better
I feel so bad
he’s gonna hate me
Gabi:
that boy could never
Oscar:
he looks at you like you hung the moon
I’m pretty sure he’s gonna take the news just fine
Charles:
I’ll take him out of the race next time if not
Alex:
CHARLES
you spend too much time with Max
Ollie:
please don’t kill my future husband
I cannot raise the baby alone
Oscar:
oh, don’t worry!
we would help you
Ollie:
I am kinda scared rn
@Alex come pick me up
I forgot these two are psychopaths like their boyfriends