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This story starts the same way some similar chaos-laden, world-changing things start—with Elio's Script being set on fire.
Elio sighed as he stared at the charred remains of his Script. He had fireproofed it after he dreamt that his Script was going to catch fire at around the same time the Xianzhou Luofu was also set on fire, but evidently, it was not enough to stop destiny.
"Whoops. Sorry," Silver Wolf shrugged, entirely unrepentant, "but you should have known better than to read your Script while we were testing SAM's thrusters."
Elio sighed again. Hopefully, he would not hear unexpected news of something else being set on fire later.
Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of the universe, a certain Shade shuddered.
"Is that Mr. Dain?!"
A pair of baby travellers had just finished gathering bird eggs from a random rooftop and were currently on their way to get free lunch from a certain prison in Fontaine when the elder twin, Aether, perked up excitedly, pointing towards a familiar figure standing alone in the distance.
Little Lumine also looked over and lit up, delighted.
"Wow! It really is Mr. Dain," the girl gasped. "He's appearing early this year!?"
Experiencing such an encounter felt like Lantern Rite had come early. In fact, after spending a considerable amount of time travelling across the seven nations of Teyvat, Aether and Lumine had concluded that certain things were simply meant to be. Teyvat had its own 'laws'. Birds fly in the sky, fish swim in the ocean and Dainsleif only met them once a year at very specific times; these were all part of the rules. And yet, today, one of those rules was about to be broken!
Understanding this, little Aether and Lumine were thrilled as they raced each other on their short legs towards their tall Khaenri'ahn friend. Another thing to note was that in their world, they did not travel with Paimon, so there was no one stopping and telling them to "explore this area later".
Therefore, just as the little ones were only a few meters away and about to call out to gain Dainsleif's attention, the natural 'laws' decided to take their course. The world in front of their eyes shattered like glass. Colours melted and merged together into unnamed shapes like a kaleidoscope. Then, the fragments of space reassembled themselves again into a new scene.
Aether and Lumine were caught by an uncomfortable sense of weightlessness, before gravity recalled its existence and they fell, arriving once more in another dimension of Teyvat—foreign, yet extremely familiar.
Aether was having a nice relaxing day. Emphasis on was.
He had taken a day off on Paimon's insistence. He had no excuse not to when he could not do a single commission thanks to all of his friends snatching up every task from the Adventurer's Guild before he arrived in the morning. Thus, he found himself sitting at a cafe in Fontaine with absolutely nothing to do but read a book while sipping tea…until a pair of tiny travellers landed on him with a loud crash, bouncing off of the table and smacking into him.
"Oh, it's you guys!" Paimon greeted the familiar tiny travellers while Aether groaned in pain on the ground, his chair—and him included—now toppled over.
The baby travellers were happy to see their big brother again, and Aether too was happy to reunite with them, although he wished they had not met exactly the same way that they had last time.
"Why don't you tell me about your adventures since the last time we met?" Aether prompted after ordering tea and snacks and settling the baby travellers down at another table after the previous one was wrecked from their arrival.
They spent a few hours chatting—or rather, Aether spent a few hours listening to the baby travellers talk with Paimon. The tea had long gone cold and the snacks reduced to nothing but crumbs since an hour ago, but Aether paid no mind.
"Do you want to stay with us again until you find a way back?" Aether asked. He was not sure what he would do if the baby travellers declined, and he feared how the rest of Teyvat would fare without him babysitting them, so he sighed in relief when the baby travellers chirped, "Yes!!!" in unison, agreeing enthusiastically.
That was when the world decided to throw a curveball at him and dropped another two children with god-like abilities on top of him.
A few days earlier, baby Stelle and Caelus were delighted to be getting a new bedroom. The little toddlers had no idea that it was actually the very same room they had been staying in from the beginning, when they were first brought onto the Astral Express. It was a simple case of false advertising—their old room had simply been given a drastic make-over and branded as a 'new' one. The small children's bed was upgraded to accommodate their wild sleeping habits, and the room's dimensions had also expanded by ten times the old capacity. It was all in the desperate hope of containing the hyperactive babies within a controllable environment on the train, so that they would stop tailing the adults into all sort of perilous worlds. Welt and Himeko loaded the space with educational games, while Dan Heng and March also went out and brought back tons of fun things for the little twins.
To their credit, the tiny trailblazers were entertained…for a total of one day. And then they decided they should also go out and bring back more fun things themselves. Dan Heng wanted to cry when he opened the "baby room" and was greeted by the pungent smell of trash. That was not even the worst part—the toddlers had disappeared, again!
The Astral Express was once again thrown into chaos as Pom-Pom issued an emergency to look for the missing children. Unfortunately for the Nameless this time, Stelle and Caelus had been trying out one of the Pinball Bubble puzzles in Penacony when they were pinballed into another dimension altogether.
» Fuli [The Remembrance]: Damn it, Fool! I can't trace the Akivili children's memories anymore. Where did you send the kids?
» Aha [The Elation]: To meet their dimensional sibling of course! It was so much fun last time. A reunion is due!
» Fuli [The Remembrance]: …And where exactly is that reunion supposed to be?
» Aha [The Elation]: Aha! That's the best part!!!
» HooH [The Equilibrium]: …I don't have a good feeling about this, but…what's the best part, Aha?
» Aha [The Elation]: The BEST part is…I don't know where they are either!
» Fuli [The Remembrance]: …
» HooH [The Equilibrium]: …
» Multiple Aeons are typing, possibly considering the shortest route to kicking Aha's masks off.
» HooH [The Equilibrium]: …Aha is dead, but we still need to look for the children. Droidhead, your turn.
» Nous [The Erudition]: Request received. Initiating search operation…
Meanwhile, Aether almost had a heart attack when a giant metal ball materialised out of nowhere and shot straight towards him, knocking both himself and the two children in his arms to the ground.
Baby Stelle and Caelus came out of the Bubble Pinball, a little confused to see the entire world had changed. While Aether was still disoriented, the little travellers wriggled out of his arms and looked towards the newly arrived babies. As four pairs of big ol' eyes met, excitement bloomed.
"Wah!"
"Wahh!"
Aether did not speak "baby", though he could at least deduce from the sounds that the four children were already trying to proclaim lifelong friendship upon their first meeting. They were so excited that words failed them. Aether, on the other hand, was not excited at all.
It was one thing to babysit a pair of children with god-like powers, and another to babysit four with god-like powers. Aether did not know why he was the one babysitting children with power that could overwhelm a Sovereign despite him being blind, nor did he know where the universe kept finding these toddlers to toss at him. What he did know was that four of them was four too many.
"No, you can't go to Liyue just because you want your new friends to try dumplings," Aether said to the tiny versions of his sister and himself while keeping a tight hold on them.
He remembered the last time he failed to keep an eye on the babies and he did not want to find out what would happen to Teyvat if he lost sight of them again. In fact, that gorge created by two retired Archons fighting over the right to look after the toddlers was still there!
The grey-haired twins were at his side, their tiny hands clutching his scarf while Paimon went off in search of their parent. They were getting fussy, and Aether could only spare them a little attention before he had to talk the tiny versions of Lumine and himself out of doing something that would make him age a few aeons. Aether wished for help silently, begging for anyone who could help him babysit the god-like toddlers before a nation got erased from the map.
As though the gods from the heavens above heard his prayers, a pair of grey-haired outlanders crashed in front of him.
Although both of them had been to many worlds, this was the first time Caelus and his sister, Stelle, had landed in another world after being rammed by a Warp Trotter.
Stelle did not seem fazed by the change of environment. If anything, she looked rather curious at the sight of the fancy city.
Then again, she is a Trailblazer. Exploring worlds where no one had been before was part of her job description.
"Where are we?" Caelus asked.
Stelle hummed. She looked left, then she looked right. She nodded seriously, then concluded, "We're in one of March's novels."
That…did not sound right, but it was not outside the realm of possibility.
"Excuse me," a gold-haired stranger sitting on a bench with five toddlers surrounding him called out to them before Caelus could ask what kind of novels March had been reading. The stranger looked at them like they were a gift sent by the Aeons and neither Caelus nor Stelle could determine if that was a good thing or not. "Would you be willing to help me?"
It went well at first.
Aether introduced himself and Paimon, as well as the tiny versions of him and his sister and the grey-haired twin babies who bore a striking resemblance to the new arrivals.
The two grey-haired siblings introduced themselves as Caelus and Stelle, and they readily agreed to help Aether keep a watch on the four god-like toddlers while he figured out a way to send them back to their respective worlds.
It went well at first.
He should have left Paimon behind. At least she would have stayed with the kids even as the world fell apart around them.
Where did it all go wrong? Perhaps it was when he and Paimon left the six outlanders alone so he could go into the Serenitea Pot to ask Tubby if she could set up a temporary guest house. Perhaps it was when he and Paimon returned and found Caelus and Stelle fighting a Garde and all four of the toddlers missing.
No. It was definitely when Aether prayed to the gods for help and trusted whoever they brought to him.
No wonder his sister joined the Abyss Order.
It was incorrect to say that Stelle had no respect for figures of authority. After all, Stelle had a lot of respect for Himeko, Welt, and Kafka. What she had little respect for were figures of authority relating to the law.
Thus, when a person dressed in an outfit reminiscent of the police in a fantasy book came up to them to inform them that they had broken a law on flying objects after Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine got too excited and started flying, Stelle's bat violently met the police officer's face.
The first hit was accidental. Stelle tended to act first and let Dan Heng and March deal with the consequences.
The subsequent hit, however, was deliberate because Stelle thought that one hit was not enough.
"Stelle!" Aether admonished, conveniently showing up at the worst moment, before angrily turning his attention to her brother when he followed up with a punch to the unconscious officer. "Caelus!"
"They started it!" Caelus exclaimed.
"Wha—I—No, forget that, where are the kids!?"
Both Caelus and Stelle turned to gesture at the bench where they left the toddlers before beating the officer up, only to find the bench empty and the children they were supposed to be watching missing. When did they disappear? It had only been a few minutes!
"On a scale of one to ten, how badly did we fuck up?" Stelle asked.
The resultant angry and scary glare was very much expected.
For clarification, Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine were very, very good babies. Usually, if someone had asked them to stay at a spot, they would not move, at least until they forgot the fact that someone had asked them to not move.
On the other hand, sitting obediently on a bench for just one whole minute was already too much for the chaotic trailblazers. Hence, Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus got to work distracting the other relatively more well-behaved pair of twins with questions about the new world and showing obvious interest in sightseeing (and escaping adult supervision). Ever the helpful travellers, Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine immediately offered to become tour guides, ignoring the fact that that was not exactly the Teyvat they were familiar with.
"This is Mondstadt!!"
In a short while, Stelle and Caelus found themselves in front of a city gate. The four children had started the journey by flying. However, about half way through, the little travellers found it too tiring for their wings to drag along two other kids of the same weight. Perhaps only then did they remember then that teleportation also existed in this world, so they teleported. As the supreme rulers of their own world, the little travellers never felt any discomfort even if they teleported around all day long. Similarly, Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus, being blessed by Akivili The Trailblaze with the ability to adapt to any new environment, also felt nothing. On the other hand, Swan and Lawrence, who guarded Mondstadt's entrance, almost had a heart attack when four little 'cannonballs' rushed past them into the peaceful city.
Fortunately, Jean happened to be there and recognized the kids. After all, Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine had already crossed into this world once before and Jean had met them then. Nevertheless, back then she had first thought that Aether had somehow birthed two children while travelling around Teyvat. Only this time, the acting Grand Master realized her mistake. Aether did not only have two kids, he had four!
"Wah! New friends!!" Klee, who always knew best when to appear to maximise chaos, cheered upon seeing the new little faces.
The biggest mistake Aether ever committed was praying for divine intervention. This was Teyvat, and Aether personally knew more gods than he could count on both hands. He had also personally experienced being an errand runner for those gods who almost never paid for his services. So what was going on in his mind when he asked the gods for help? He must be going insane.
This must be a dream. When he woke up later, Teyvat would not be destroyed by four babies. Yes, this must be a dream.
"Hey Stelle, what's wrong with him?" Caelus asked in a whisper.
"I think he's in denial," his sister answered at a normal volume, not bothering to pretend that Aether could not hear either of them.
"Someone saw them fly east so Paimon thinks they went to Mondstadt," Paimon, the saviour that she was, informed Aether.
Mondstadt? It was quite far and would take several hours of travel even if they managed to find a boat within the next minute and take it to Dornman Port. Normally, Aether would have travelled on foot between nations or hitchhiked on vehicles on the way to their next destination. However, this was an emergency. The fate of Teyvat rested on whether he could stop the god-like toddlers within the next hour.
"Everyone, grab my hand, we're using the waypoints."
Jean, as well as the entirety of the Knights of Favonius, were never enough to contain Klee and her tendency to cause destruction. Now that there were four more kids with the same, if not worse, capability to bring chaos, they were reasonably left in the dust while the toddlers ran off on their own accord towards Dragonspine.
"Maybe this is not a bad thing. If they are going there, Albedo can look after them," Kaeya offered, his tone resembling that of a parent throwing their kids into daycare in order to escape responsibility.
Jean also surrendered. "Alright. In the mean time, we can look for Aether instead. He should be worried looking for his children." She was too busy to handle both Varka's workload and babysitting at the same time.
And just like that, Klee and the four little otherworlders started ransacking Dragonspine like it was nobody's business. Perhaps it would have been great if detonating bunny-shaped bombs and stealing from treasure chests were all they did. Unfortunately, the five toddlers stumbled into an unexpected obstacle: the Great Snow Boar.
Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine, who were familiar with the creature and could fly, had no problem dodging the enraged wild boar, but Klee and the other two toddlers were not as lucky. They were rammed by the giant creature and pushed off, falling from a cliff. Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine managed to catch Klee, while Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus latched onto one another by habit. It was as if they thought they too could fly.
"Is falling…painful?" Lil' Stelle was smart enough to ask, uncertain if fall damage was a thing in this world.
"Yes, yes, you need to break your fall." Lil' Aether was quick to catch on and replied helpfully.
Not knowing if the younger pair of twins had any weapons, Lil' Lumine passed them her sword. "Here, use this."
Despite never using a sword before and despite the fact that he and his sister were still plummeting towards the earth, Lil' Caelus held the six star legendary weapon with innate confidence. When the moment arrived, he slammed the sword to the ground as if it was a baseball bat, executing a perfect plunge attack.
Easy-peasy.
Stelle and Caelus landed safely. Dragonspine, however, was not safe.
Aether fell to his knees, his eyes closed and a hand over his mouth as he prayed for the nausea to go away. He hated using the waypoints for this very reason. He only ever used it in case of emergencies (or that time he fell sick and was not thinking clearly), and did not have any other reason when Paimon was more than happy to take the scenic route with him.
"Should I find someone who can help you? Like a healer? Do they have those in this world? I can give you a piggyback ride," Caelus offered helpfully, and Aether shook his head with a groan. He just needed a minute for his stomach to calm down and his head to stop spinning then they could search for the missing god-like toddlers.
"Hey, Aether, Paimon, is it supposed to look like that?" Stelle asked but Aether could not see where she was or what she might be referring to.
"What the fuck!?"
Aether felt his heart sink. Paimon rarely swore. If she did, there must be something more catastrophic than a rampaging god attacking a harbour city or an Archon about to deliver death unto them.
"What the fuck happened to Dragonspine!?"
There was a mountain called Dragonspine.
Was, in that there was no longer a single Dragonspine.
There were now two Dragonspines, or rather, two halves of a Dragonspine.
Aether was not sufficiently well-versed in geography to know if a mountain being cleaved into two perfect halves that could make a mathematician and a cartographer weep for entirely different reasons meant that there were two mountains. Then again, he was not well-versed in the art of babysitting, and that did not stop people from making him babysit four babies with god-like abilities and two adults with the curiosity of two-year-olds with god-like abilities, so screw it, there were now two Dragonspines.
He still could not believe that Dragonspine was cut in half by four babies with god-like abilities if it were not for the fact that it was Paimon, Amber, and Jean who told him about it. Albedo even drew a sketch infused with Geo so he could see what the new Dragonspine looked like. How did four babies with god-like abilities even managed to do that? …Actually, he remembered he split a planet in half with Lumine when they were kids on a bet, so this was actually quite believable.
On the bright side, not that Aether could see it (literally and metaphorically), it could not get any worse than this.
Meanwhile, on an entirely different plane from where Aether was in Teyvat, a certain Shade screamed, "How the fuck is it getting worse!?"
Due to the worldly energy fluctuation resulted from that chaos, a certain group of Aeons finally found their lost twin children.
» Nous [The Erudition]: Targets found. Search completed.
All the Aeons were delighted. Most of them were pleased to see that Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus, whom they doted on so much, were safe. Aha, The Elation, was especially pleased by the chaos. Nanook, The Destruction, was especially pleased by the destruction. None of them cared whether the Shades were pleased by their overbearing presence or not.
"We have good news and bad news," Stelle said as soon as she found Aether.
When Dragonspine was divided into two, there was a lot of chaos. People had fallen into the giant chasm spanning the middle of the cleaved mountain because they were too busy admiring the new landmarks, and monsters were fleeing in droves after having witnessed their home be cut in half. This left the short-staffed Knights of Favonius having to recruit every adventurer to manage the aftermath including the Honorary Knight and his two new partners, if they could even be called that. Aether had left Caelus and Stelle with the monumental task of locating the lost babies, while he went around with Paimon locating lost tourists and adventurers.
"What's the good news?" Aether asked.
"We found a kid," Caelus answered.
"And the bad news?"
"She's not the one you're looking for."
"Hi, big brother Aether!" Klee greeted from where she was piggybacking on Caelus.
Aether groaned, unsure if the splitting pain in his temples was from the headache that had manifested somewhere between using the waypoints and discovering that Dragonspine had been cleaved in half, or from the newfound knowledge that the entire Knights of Favonius were searching frantically for their version of a toddler with far too much power to be responsible with, or from the fact that he knew they would no doubt ask for his help (again) despite him being blind.
"Klee," Aether said, forcing a smile. It was not the child's fault that the knights were incompetent at babysitting after all. "What are you doing here? It's dangerous."
"Klee was going to find big brother Albedo, and then Klee made new friends! They were interested in big brother Albedo's book, and then they flew away to Inazuma."
Inazuma? Aether grimaced. He was not looking forward to using the waypoints again.
"We are going to find Albedo." The alchemist should still be at the Adventurer's camp, and hopefully he had not disappeared to the other side of the world while Aether's back was turned. He was not babysitting another kid today.
Not for the first time, Aether wondered why was it that the blind guy was doing all the babysitting.
The four outlander babies had indeed made their way to Inazuma because Lil' Caelus said he wanted some snacks.
"Skewer! Delicious!"
"Try the Dango Milk too."
Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine played the role of a hospitable guide and bought various snacks from the bustling Tenryou commercial street, before heading to the wilds of Inazuma to enjoy their treats. In their own world, considering the little twin gods' fame, no one would dare charge them any Mora, so they had always been loaded with nothing to spend on. In this world, people still gave the four adorable children extremely good deals (like buy-one-get-three kind of good deals), but at least it was something.
The trailblazer toddlers tried a little of everything and soon enough they became…high on sugar.
Even when the double trouble trailblazers were not yet on their sugar rush, they had already split Dragonspine into two, so when they were high, they started accidentally causing problems of a similar scale again without even trying. Since it was unintentional, the little twin travellers had no idea anything was wrong. They even happily cheered for Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus when they showed their variety of weapons off to the tiny swordsmen.
It started off with the trailblazers' imaginary hat, out of which they conjured multiple trash cans from thin air. At the end of the impromptu magic show, Lil' Stelle even threw the hat away, mimicking a magician's typical finishing move. The hat flew like a frisbee and unceremoniously hit the Pyro Hypostasis resting nearby, shattering it to pieces.
"Uh-oh."
Seeing that no one was coming to scold them, the toddlers ignored the poor prism's demise and simply moved themselves away from the scene of the crime.
Realising that Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine were not so enthusiastic about the trash cans, the small trailblazers proceeded to bring out their bat. For a good while, the four children had tons of fun engaging each other in a game of baseball. It was all fun and games until Lil' Stelle hit a home run, striking the Thunder Manifestation, who was floating quite a distance away, in the face. They then realised that any mobs unlucky enough to be standing in the trajectory of their foul ball earlier had also quietly met their demise.
"Uh-oh."
The toddlers ran off once again before anyone could catch them.
At last, Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine made sure they moved to the sturdiest place they knew for the little trailblazers to show off their coolest looking weapon—the Lance of Preservation. With obvious relish, Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus made a few swings to flaunt its magnificence. The tiny travellers were applauding the younger toddlers in encouragement when they suddenly smelt something burning. Looking down, they belatedly realised that the entire building where they stood had caught fire.
"Uh-oh."
In the children's defence, the situation was entirely unexpected. Even Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine, who were more familiar with the nonsensical nature of the world of Teyvat, could never imagine Tenshukaku catching fire. If such a building could house the Archon of Lightning, and if the temperature of lightning was five times as hot as the surface of the sun, how could it so easily catch fire from a small baby lance? Not even the Raiden Shogun herself would think that her house had such lousy fire resistance.
And indeed, Ei never expected it. She was standing right there, watching the small children the entire time, and now she was wearing a rather displeased look as she walked towards them. Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine, who had never seen Ei directing such a blank expression towards them, quickly grabbed the younger pair of twins and made a run for it.
This time, they wisely left the country.
There was very clear evidence that the toddlers were in Inazuma and the Raiden Shogun had seen them.
The first of which was that the Raiden Shogun's castle was on fire. Aether could not pretend that he could not see it because of his disability when the fire was showing up very well through his Elemental Sight. The heat from the flames and the people screaming as many rushed to put out the blaze were also proof of destruction of one very important cultural heritage.
The second of which was that the Raiden Shogun, whose house was currently on fire, was definitely glaring unhappily at him which was pretty amazing considering he could not see it and that Ei rarely showed emotion.
"Traveller."
The third of which was that the Raiden Shogun was also addressing him using his title with a voice akin to a very disappointed maternal figure.
"Your children burned my house down."
Now, there were many ways to go about responding to that accusation.
The first was to deny any involvement. Unfortunately, Aether could not do that as one of the babies looked like a younger version of him and two of them looked like the two outlanders behind him. Also, he needed to know where the toddlers went before another castle got burned down or worse.
The second of which was to suck up and apologise, preferably on his knees with a giant bag of Mora as compensation for the damage.
Unfortunately for Aether, Caelus and Stelle picked neither option.
There were many things that Stelle learned when she first woke up in Herta's Space Station with her memories missing.
The first of which was to always trust her gut. She had woken up with a feeling that something was amiss and it turned out that she had forgotten her brother and left him behind. Though she reunited with him later, Stelle still felt guilty.
The second thing she learned was to always trust her family. The Astral Express crew and the Stellaron Hunters were Stelle's family in all but blood and she would willingly sacrifice herself for them.
The third and most important thing she learned was that 'might makes right'. It might be due to the fact that she could wield Destruction through her bat, or that the first thing she had done after waking up and meeting Dan Heng and March was to swing a bat at someone's face.
Stelle glanced to her side where her brother stood, meeting his eyes. He nodded, and Stelle smiled. Although Caelus did not know what she had planned, he was always quick on the uptake. The Stellaron in her chest hummed warmly and she could feel the presence of her brother's copy through it.
Thus, with all the lessons she learned in her early days as a Trailblazer, she swung her bat with all her might at the person bullying her second favourite brother.
"Stelle! Caelus!" Aether shrieked when the woman who looked like Acheron blocked the attack with her weapon. "Why do you guys keep attacking figures of authority!?"
Unfortunately for Aether, both Caelus and Stelle were too busy fighting the Acheron copy to answer.
While the adult babysitters were busy solving (or adding onto) the chaos caused by the four god-like toddlers, the children had arrived in Liyue and happily continued their adventure. This time, they did not get far into the new region.
No. In fact, it was more accurate to say they went a little too far.
It was mainly because Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus decided they should not let the traveller twins take care of all the transportation. As a result, they took out the space pinball they used earlier to get to this world.
"Awesome!!!"
Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine were generous with giving compliments. It had been a while since they last used a spaceship—or a space bubble device, for that matter—so even if the trailblazers' bubble looked a little…unserious, it was still a novel experience.
The control panel inside the bubble device was excessively simple. There was no navigation map, no yoke or helm, only a monitor screen, and two big round buttons, one labelled 'GO!' and another labelled 'AHA!'.
"Wah! New button!!!"
Apparently even the 'AHA!' button is new.
The little travellers quickly understood from the way Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus brightened up and gestured towards the bright rainbow-coloured button as if it was their early birthday present.
"New button! New button!"
At first, Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine planned to leave the control of the bubble device entirely to the younger twin pair since the trailblazer toddlers seemed to like pressing buttons to the point of obsession. How nice—there were two buttons now so each of them could have one.
However, they soon realised that Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus could not care less about world peace and preferred fighting each other for the same one button.
"My turn!"
"Mine next!"
"Uwahhh I won!"
Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus made up all sort of mini games—from rock, paper, scissors to thumb wrestling to straight-up hair pulling—to decide who should press the button next.
"……"
Meanwhile, the little travellers peacefully took turns pressing 'GO!' and the bubble pinball went wherever it wanted to go at breakneck speed. In fact, they could barely see anything from the monitor in front of them, nor did they want to. It was much more entertaining to watch Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus have their 'wholesome' sibling fight.
At that point, none of them even knew what the 'AHA!' button actually did. It could have spawned trash cans from the sky, or sent out targeted missiles for all they cared.
As a result, when they noticed the black smoke covering the screen and exited the capsule to inspect what's going on, it was already too late to salvage the situation.
After taking a risk and grabbing Caelus and Stelle while they were fighting the Raiden Shogun before teleporting to a random waypoint in Liyue, Aether crumbled to his knees. He still felt nauseous from the teleportation, but he was glad to have gotten everyone out before things escalated. Before he could so much as heave a sigh of relief, someone called out to him.
"Aether."
"Xiao?" Aether looked towards the direction of the voice. Did he teleport everyone to Wangshu Inn?
"Your children…"
Aether immediately shot up to his feet and grabbed Xiao by the arms. "Where are they!?"
Xiao seemed taken aback based on the slight hesitation but he eventually answered, "Tree."
Tree? What did Xiao mean by that?
"Your children burned down a tree," Xiao continued. "The tree where Azhdaha was sealed beneath."
"…"
That was it? Well, that did not sound too bad compared to all the other destruction the babies caused earlier. Perhaps it was a sign that the toddlers were finally getting tired, which hopefully meant that the rest of Teyvat would be spared from further destruction.
"They also blew a hole through my abode," Mountain Shaper added, making Aether jump in surprise.
"Mountain Shaper? You're here too? Wait, what do you mean the children blew a hole through your home!?"
There was a beat of silence, almost as though Xiao and Mountain Shaper were eyeing each other to make the other person explain to the very confused Traveller what chaotic destruction the kids had unleashed upon Teyvat again.
"Your children went through Mt. Hulao and created a hole," Mountain Shaper said, as though that was enough of an explanation when it clarified nothing.
Aether gaped. "How?"
Xiao did not answer and neither did Mountain Shaper, which made Aether wonder if he really needed to know the answer. While he gave the two adepti a moment to decide how to explain, he turned his attention to the chaos siblings.
"Put that bat down, Stelle. And Caelus, don't you dare raise those fists at my friends."
There was the sound of someone clicking their tongue, and considering that Xiao and Mountain Shaper had yet to be smacked on the head by a bat or punched in the face, Aether assumed that the chaos siblings had listened to him.
Before Aether could ask Xiao or Mountain Shaper to postpone the explanation and tell him where the toddlers disappeared to, there was a flutter of feathered wings and a gust of wind hitting his face.
"Conqueror of Demons! Mountain Shaper! One seeks your assistance in a matter of great urgency!" Cloud Retainer said, before turning her attention to the three others. "Ah, Aether. Your companions' and your help will be most welcomed as well."
"What happened?" Xiao asked.
"Children! One witnessed four children in a strange orb flying towards Sumeru with great speed! Where are their parents? One is most furious at the lack of care and guidance for them! One tried to catch up to them but they were far too quick and one lost sight of them. Come, Conqueror of Demons and Mountain Shaper, we must make haste and search for them at once!"
"They're in Sumeru? I'll go after them. Thanks, Cloud Retainer," Aether said, ready to grab Caelus and Stelle to teleport. Paimon still had her hand on his scarf, not once letting go ever since they teleported from Fontaine.
"Paimon hopes we'll finally catch up to them."
"Pardon?" Aether stopped in his tracks when Cloud Retainer marched right up to him. "Can one assume you are the children's parent?"
"I'm looking after them at the moment…" Aether's words trailed off as he had a bad feeling as to where the conversation was leading.
"How could you leave them alone, especially in this turbulent times? What if a bandit attacks, how will you step in to protect the defenceless young?"
Ah, it would seem they would be stuck here for a while longer.
Both Caelus and Stelle were sulking.
First, Aether had interrupted their match with this cool woman holding a polearm. Then he told them to put their weapons away and not attack that intimidating guy in green and brown bird. How did he know they had their weapons out anyway? His back was turned! Now they were stuck listening to a white-blue bird lecture them about not keeping a close eye on the kids.
As if she had any right to scold them when she also lost track of them.
Caelus peered over to his side where Aether was standing and almost snorted in amusement at the look of boredom on his little brother's face. He nudged at Stelle who snorted out loud, which drew the bird's ire to her.
Now they were getting lectured on proper conduct and respect.
It was at this moment that the intimidating green guy flung himself at the white-blue bird, yelling at Aether, "Go!"
Aether wasted no time, grabbing Caelus and Stelle and warping away before the other bird could so much as squawk. As the world blurred around him, Caelus caught sight of the resigned look on the guy and could not help but shed a single tear for Aether's fallen companion.
May his sacrifice not be forgotten.
When the four little toddlers arrived at the desert of Sumeru, it was not by chance, but a strategic decision. The space bubble machine they travelled in had entered some sort of a "fireball" mode. Not only did it cover itself in fire, but it also started vomiting rockets everywhere for no particular reason. As a result, the little travellers smartly concluded that it would be better go to an area with less people and try to cool down the fire.
"Do you know how to turn it back to normal?"
At the question, the trailblazer toddlers shook their head. If anything, they looked exceedingly nonchalant as if seeing stuff around them going up on fire was just a normal Tuesday.
Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine, on the other hand, were not ready to give up. They summoned a copious amount of water and dumped it onto the blazing space bubble.
The result? They caused a vaporise reaction.
"!!!"
Four pairs of eyes that were already big and round widened even more at the unexpected outcome.
"The sands disappeared?!"
"So cool!!!"
Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus were excited, giggling happily even when the little travellers had to pick them up and fly away because the ground was sinking at alarming speed. The space bubble's fire was so stubborn that by the time it was finally put out, the Great Red Sands desert had probably been half-vaporised.
If they left things that way, many people might accidentally fell into a well-disguised bottomless sand pit, and that would not be good. So while Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus rolled around in the sand without a care in the world, the twin travellers started filling the desert again with water.
A lot of water.
As they did this, the twin travellers could not help thinking that if their Morax was there, he would pat their heads and tell them they were very good babies.
Meanwhile, Aha was screaming.
» Aha [The Elation]: What are they doing?! My fire!
» Nanook [The Destruction]: Lol pathetic.
After grabbing Caelus and Stelle and fleeing from Cloud Retainer by teleporting to a random waypoint in Sumeru, Aether crumbled onto his knees. Xiao had saved them from a three-hour long lecture and Aether made a mental note to buy Almond Tofu for him once everything was over. He ignored the heat from the sand and the rough grains that had seeped into every crevice of his clothes, and just breathed. He wished he had picked one closer to the city instead of somewhere in the desert. It would have increased the odds of finding someone who had seen the lost toddlers. However, it was difficult to select the correct waypoint when the map in his mind was completely dark and he could only guess the general area of where the correct destination lay.
Looking on the bright side, it would seem that he was finally getting used to the teleportation. That would make moving around Teyvat a lot better and easier.
…
Was it his imagination or did the sand feel a little moist? Also, was that the sound of water splashing in the middle of a desert?
Aether had a bad feeling as he moved to sit on the sand to take off his gloves.
"Paimon," he said after grabbing a fistful of dripping sand. "Please tell me the desert isn't flooded."
"Uh…" Paimon stammered, unsure if she should tell the truth or not.
Aether could have easily confirmed it himself if he used Elemental Sight. He could have, if he was not currently trying his utmost to be in denial of the latest disaster the four lost god-like babies created.
Unfortunately for Aether's attempts to remain in denial, Caelus spoke up. "Wow, I've never seen an ocean surrounded by so much sand dunes! How did the babies do that? I want to learn how to do it too! Then I can use water magic with Dan Heng!"
Aether did not know how it happened nor did he want to know how it happened, but somehow Sumeru's desert was flooded. He used his Elemental Sight again and an ocean of blue greeted him instead of the usual black.
Sure, he hated travelling through the desert and often times wished he could flood it, but that did not meant that he actually wanted it to happen! How did four babies manage to pull it off? Where did they find enough water to flood a desert anyway? How was Sumeru flooded when the nation of Hydro was literally beside it? How the fuck was the Heavenly Principles still sleeping after half of Sumeru got flooded?
Aether used his Elemental Sight again just to be extra sure and sure enough, it was still flooded.
"Hey Aether! Come join us! The water is pretty nice!" Caelus called out from where he was in the ocean(?) before he was swept away by a wave created by his sister. Paimon laughed from where she was floating beside Stelle and Stelle smirked, her bat resting on her shoulder as she gestured at her brother to come at her in retaliation.
At least there were three people enjoying this not-supposed-to-exist ocean.
How would one un-flood a nation? Even as a point of reference, how did Fontaine get un-flooded in the first place? Fontaine had gotten flooded even though it was suspended in the air and definitely on an elevation much higher than most of Teyvat. All of that water should have gone somewhere. Could he borrow that drain to fix this problem? It would certainly go faster than having to mop up the water one bucket at a time. Not to mention, the wet sand would be a major headache.
As Aether debated whether mopping up the water slowly over a few centuries or using Anemo to blow the water off somewhere was a better option, he heard his name being called.
"Aether?"
Aether froze. He knew that voice. He should not be hearing the voice of that person right now even though this was her nation.
"Aether, I'm not mad."
The last time he heard the same exact sentence, Lumine had said it and she was definitely lying because she never let him forget that he ate the last slice of cake during one of their adventures in a different world. After promising to get her a new slice, the bakery closed down after he accidentally destroyed the place while trying to avoid a laser beam that his sister shot. They were then forced to leave the world the next day because there was an angry mob chasing after them.
"Aether, Vesper would be very upset if I called him here just to send him after you because you ran away in the middle of our conversation."
"I'm innocent!" Aether pleaded. "It's all Dainsleif's fault!"
(Somewhere in some unknown part of Teyvat, a certain Twilight Sword felt the sudden need to loudly proclaim his innocence.)
"I'm not mad. I am aware of your innocence, and please don't pin all the blame on your friend," Nahida replied. She did not ask how it happened, nor did she ask why it happened. Instead, she offered her help. For that alone, Aether would forever be in gratitude to her. "Do you need help tracking down your children?"
They are not my children, he wanted to say. Instead, he got down on his knees and groveled. "Please. Help me," he begged with a sob.
After 'saving' the desert as they had intended, the four god-like toddlers also had a quick swim but quickly lost interest. The little travellers were especially disappointed that there was nothing inside the 'ocean' they had painstakingly created. As a result, they took the little trailblazers over to Fontaine for the best diving experience.
At that point, they had thoroughly forgotten the fact that the police there was still chasing after them. Not that any of the toddlers were scared of being caught. After all, Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine, who knew that world better, said there was nothing to worry about. If they got fined, they had more than enough Mora to bail themselves out. And if they got a prison sentence…well, then they would simply welcome the chance to mooch more free meals.
Hence, when Arlecchino spotted the four children carelessly flying about at the harbour and kindly asked if they needed help escaping the law, the little kids politely rejected the offer and gave her the leftover Dango Milk they still had on hand. Of course, Arlecchino also saw the resemblance in their appearance and planned to ask the kids about their parents. However, before she had the chance, some patrolling Gardes spotted the four toddlers and rushed towards them.
Despite not feeling worried about being caught, the children still ran away, simply because it would not be fun to be caught too easily. Lil' Aether and Lil' Lumine led the way, while Lil' Stelle and Lil' Caelus defended them from behind. They made a great team. In fact, it was almost disappointing how slow the Gardes chasing them were. Seriously, who even had time to queue up for that one elevator…
In the end, when the police finally caught up, the four toddlers were happily sitting inside the Opera Epiclese, watching a magic show performed by Lyney and Lynette.
Both Lyney and Lynette had seen many people in their time performing as magicians in the Opera Epiclese. Most would blend into the background, hidden away by the shadows that no light could ever illuminate. A few would stand out even in the darkness, like the Traveller whose golden hair and eyes easily drew attention even without the spotlight glaring down on him. He stood out in the audience back then after he accepted the invitation to watch their magic show, and before even when he arrived at the docks of Fontaine. Yet, it was not him who sat in the audience now. Four children stood out in the darkness, two who bore the same golden hair and eyes as Aether, and Lyney could not help but be intrigued.
"Lynette, do you see them?" Lyney whispered to his sister as they both watched the four adorable children from behind the curtains. "Aether is so cute as a child! Too bad Freminet isn't here."
"Did he turn into a kid? And where's Paimon?" Lynette asked, her blank expression betrayed nothing but Lyney could tell his sister was very confused.
"I'm sure something must have happened. But look, he found his sister and made some new friends. I think he'll happily turn into a kid for that. As for Paimon…We can search for her after our performance. She's probably nearby."
Lynette did not look like she believed his reasoning, but nodded anyway. "We should go, it's our turn soon."
"Let's show our friend the greatest magic performance he has ever seen!"
Lyney and Lynette leaped out of the curtains on the announcer's cue and they bowed to the audience. Everything went well as they performed trick after trick, until Lyney almost walked into a floating child.
"Yes? Can I help you?" Lyney asked, smiling in confusion at the tiny version of Aether and his sister who had suddenly materialised right in front of him. He was tempted to pinch their cheeks, but refrained. They were still in the middle of a performance after all.
Lyney never got his answer as to why Aether and his sister had decided to join them on stage, or how he gained the ability to fly like Paimon, as the doors to the Opera Epiclese slammed open and an army of Gardes poured into the opera house, scaring the audience and the pyrotechnician Lyney and Lynette hired for the performance. The pyrotechnician was so startled by the sudden appearance of law enforcers that they accidentally pressed the remote in their hand which triggered every single pyrotechnic. Every firework went off, including the ones that were in storage for some reason, and all the curtains caught on fire as a result. Everyone ran out in a panic, trampling over people in a rush to escape the fire. The Gardes who ran in snapped into action, calming the panicked guests and evacuating them in an orderly manner.
As the Opera Epiclese merrily burned away, Lyney could not help but wonder if Father would have to compensate the opera house again.
Nahida was a god, a deity, a being worthy of worship, unlike whichever gods Aether prayed to earlier and got Caelus and Stelle in return.
She told Aether the kids were in Fontaine. More specifically, they were at the Opera Epiclese. She also told him to hurry, which was definitely not a good sign. Aether was tempted to leave the chaos siblings behind to grab the kids before returning to throw everyone into his Serenitea Pot—Just a quick teleportation to Fontaine, in-and-out in less than a minute. They would not even notice his or Paimon's disappearance with them busy playing in Sumeru's newly-created ocean. However, Aether was very much done for the day and he did not want to deal with another round of destruction in various regions because he took his eyes off people.
Did everyone forget that he was blind?
Fortunately, the kids were exactly where Nahida told him they would be.
Unfortunately for him and everyone in Fontaine, the Opera Epiclese was on fire.
"Gotcha!" Aether exclaimed as he grabbed the two kids in front of him while Caelus and Stelle grabbed the other two.
The children squealed in delight, whether it was because their elder siblings finally caught up to them, or because they were happy that there were more people joining their adventure. Aether would have felt a little more guilty about ruining their fun, had their fun had not consisted of terrorising most of Teyvat.
"All of you are grounded!" Aether said angrily, ignoring Caelus and Stelle who were demanding to know why they were grounded too. "Cutting Dragonspine into two, burning down the Raiden Shogun's castle, blasting a hole through Mt. Hulao, flooding Sumeru's desert, and setting the Opera Epiclese on fire! All of you are grounded until everything's fixed!"
The toddlers protested loudly, claiming to be innocent, but Aether was no longer listening. Without wasting another second, Aether kicked Caelus and Stelle into his Serenitea Pot that Paimon had set down and leapt into it with the babies in his arms.
It was then that Paimon realised Aether left her behind.
"Wait for Paimon!" Paimon cried out, leaping towards the Serenitea Pot, only to be pulled back and bundled up in thick ropes.
"We caught the culprit!" a Garde cried out to her colleagues.
"'A child who can float'…She does match eyewitness accounts," another Garde said, holding up a small notepad in his hand. His eyes dart between the paper and Paimon who was struggling in her binds.
"Didn't the eyewitnesses mention two?" his colleague pointed out.
"You're right. The other kid must be nearby. Search for them! They couldn't have gone far! Remember, they may be strong but they are still kids. You are not allowed to use force!"
"Yes sir!"
The Gardes scattered and Paimon finally gave up her futile struggles. "Paimon is innocent!" Paimon wailed, but everyone ignored her.