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“They said you’re leaving.”
Okkotsu starts before looking up towards Megumi. He doesn’t apologize, or elaborate; just watches as recognition flashes through Okkotsu’s eyes and then his shoulders drop. He averts his gaze before responding, and Megumi tries not to take it personally.
“Yeah,” he mutters. “Gojo-sensei said study abroad would be good for me.”
That’s bullshit, Megumi thinks, but he doesn’t say so aloud. This isn’t about what’s best for Okkotsu; this is about appeasing the higher ups. Gojo might be the strongest sorcerer alive, but he’s a coward in the ways that matter—he won’t do anything to bring about the change he claims he wants. He’s waiting for someone else to do that on his behalf.
“Oh,” Megumi responds, instead of letting his anger mar Okkotsu. He’ll have a better time if he believes whatever sugar-coated lie he was fed about opportunities for growth.
Okkotsu hums noncommittally.
Silence hangs between them for several long moments, and Megumi hovers on the edge, debating whether he should step closer or just walk away now. The shittiest part is, he was actually looking forward to having Okkotsu as his senpai. It was one of the few plus sides to being a sorcerer. Tsumiki and Gojo like to chide him for never letting himself want things, and never seeking out enjoyment, but it’s only because this is how everything ends.
The person Megumi loves most has been cursed, and the one friend he made since is being sent overseas in a few months. Why should he waste time with fleeting attachments that will only go on to break his heart? It’s just not worth it.
Even so, he steps closer to Okkotsu, slowly closing the distance between them. He drops into the grass, sitting so they’re side-by-side, and turns his gaze to the sky streaked with orange and pink. He spent most of the day training with Gojo, so he’s not sure how long Okkotsu has been out here alone.
The sun inches down towards the horizon. The air cools. Megumi picks at a thread on his jacket; Okkotsu picks at his fingernails.
Finally, he admits, “I don’t really want to go.”
“Then don’t.”
“It doesn’t work like that.” Okkotsu turns his head, tired eyes boring into Megumi. “If it did, you wouldn’t be here.”
“You don’t know that,” Megumi argues, but mostly because he’s never stopped to think about what he might be doing if he actually had a choice. There’s no point in dwelling on impossibilities—no point in longing for that which you can’t have. Even if such a thing seems inherent to Megumi’s being.
(He wants his sister back, he wants Gojo to drop the endless facade, he wants Okkotsu—)
Okkotsu raises an eyebrow, and Megumi looks away.
“Okay,” he relents. “You’re probably right.”
If it were as easy as saying No to the higher ups and clan heads pulling the strings, Megumi would probably have chosen to ignore his cursed technique entirely and go to a normal high school instead. It’s what Tsumiki would have wanted him to do—not that she would have admitted as much. She’s too kind for that, but love is a selfish creature, and Megumi knows she loved him.
“It’ll be fine,” Okkotsu continues, though he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself just as much as he’s trying to convince Megumi. “It just seems… a little unfair. That I finally made a few friends, and now I have to leave them behind.”
“Yeah,” Megumi agrees, voice hoarse. “I get it.”
He doesn’t look at Okkotsu, electing to study the sky instead. The bright orange has faded, and swatches of purple now merge with the pink. Everything will fall into darkness soon, but Megumi has always felt most comfortable in the shadows.
“I’d like to have more time with my classmates,” Okkotsu muses. “I’ll miss sparring with Maki-san and playing video games with Inumaki-kun and trying new foods with Panda. And… I’m really going to miss spending time with you too, Fushiguro-kun.”
He knocks their knees together. Megumi’s breath hitches.
On instinct, he looks up and finds Okkotsu already staring at him.
“You will?” Megumi asks, silently begging him to take it back. It’s easier to pine in silence than play the what-if game—it’s easier if Megumi can carry on believing he never had a chance.
But Okkotsu smiles with a heavy sadness and tells Megumi, “I think I miss you already.”
Why? Megumi thinks. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why are you doing this to me?
His throat aches with unshed tears, but he doesn’t drop Okkotsu’s gaze. He holds it, scared and miserable and angry, as the light dies around them. He wishes he could sink into the shadows, take Okkotsu and Tsumiki with him, and live out the rest of his days somewhere safe.
But a life like that was never an option for him.
It’s not fair, but being a sorcerer isn’t. It’s grieving everyone around you, slaving away for the sake of the world, and dying young. It’s losing the people you love one by one until eventually, inevitably, you are the one who is lost.
“I miss you already too,” Megumi confesses, the words like bullets shot through the dark.
Okkotsu doesn’t flinch at the impact.
As the last dregs of sunlight fade away, he reaches out and links their fingers together.