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“Firefighter Diaz!”
Eddie pauses at the hospital doors, and turns back towards the voice. He smiles when he recognizes the face. “Ian! How’s it going, man?”
Ian walks closer, hitching his backpack over one shoulder. “Not bad. Just finished my shift. You busy playing hero again?”
Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “I should be asking you that. I’m still thinking of your rescue from the other week. That was impressive, man.” Someone brushes past Eddie, and he realizes they’ve been standing in front of the exit. He nods his head towards the doors. “I’ll walk you out. My captain’s still finishing off some paperwork for the guy we brought in, so I have some time.”
Ian smiles, big and charismatic, and follows Eddie out. When they get outside, he stops again, taking a deep breath, face tilted towards the night sky. He exhales, and his whole body relaxes.
“Long day?” Eddie asks.
“Always. But it’s worth it, right?” He’s looking back over at Eddie, still smiling.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “It is.”
They start walking towards the parking lot. Eddie keeps his ear on his radio but he enjoys the break while he can. Ian’s shoulder knocks into Eddie’s every few steps, but Eddie can’t find the urge to move away. “So, when’s your shift over?” Ian asks, glancing over.
“Oh, in about…” he checks his watch, “nine hours.”
Ian lets out a low whistle. “Guess going out for a beer is out of the question tonight, then.”
“Yeah, but hey! Any day off, I’m game.”
“Awesome.” Ian hitches his bag again, and slips his phone out of his pocket with his other arm. “How about I get your number, and we’ll sort something out?”
“Yeah, that’s great.” Eddie recites his number, and then hears his radio go off, calling him back to the rig. He waves to Ian as he jogs off.
By the time he’s seated in the firetruck, he pulls out his phone to see a new message waiting for him.
Hey, it’s Ian. let’s get that beer sometime soon.
Eddie quickly saves the contact. Ian Bradley (Nurse).
He feels a soft nudge at his boot, and looks up to see Hen watching him, amused. “What are you smiling at?”
“Nothing.” He rolls his eyes, shoving his phone back into his turnouts. He works with a bunch of busybodies.
*
He doesn’t mention it to Buck. Not that Eddie’s doing anything wrong, as he texts Ian on and off through the week, getting to know him, and trying to make plans around their busy schedules. But—well, Eddie remembers the last time. With Tommy.
Buck is through the worst of his recovery, but he’s not back at work yet, and he’s still a little bruised, mentally and emotionally. The last thing Eddie wants to do is make him feel even more left out, even though that is never the case. So he just keeps it quiet for now. Once Buck is back on his feet, he’ll arrange something for all three of them, make sure Buck knows he’s always welcome.
The night he finally meets up with Ian, he tells Buck he’s staying in to do laundry. He feels like an asshole, but it’s a necessary small white lie for the time being. He’ll come clean when Buck’s in a better place.
Eddie arrives at the sports bar he suggested and finds Ian is waiting for him outside, leaning casually against the wall. When he notices Eddie he lights up, and waves him over.
"I’m glad we’re doing this,” he greets, before adding, “You look great.”
Eddie laughs, looking down at himself. He had thrown on a plain t-shirt and some old jeans. At least his leather jacket makes him look a little more put together. “Well, you look great too,” he says, gesturing to Ian. He’s not really in anything fancier than Eddie, dark jeans and a nice button down, but he carries himself in a casually cool way that he could pull anything off. Hell, he even looked great in his scrubs.
They’re seated at a booth, and they order their beers and a plate of wings to share. They settle into a comfortable conversation, while keeping an eye on the Dodgers game playing on the TV screens throughout the bar. Ian is a football man, but Eddie learns he has a soft spot for baseball too.
“It’s always been my sport,” Eddie says, “I used to play in high school.”
Ian props his elbows on the table, leaning forward, eyes lighting up.“Yeah? You were the star player I bet.”
Eddie snorts, picking at the label on his beer bottle. “I wasn’t bad.”
“You know, I tried it for a year in school too. Back when I was trying out for everything I could; baseball, soccer, debate club, drama.” He puts out a finger for each one as he lists them off. “I liked trying new things.”
“And now you can add nursing to that.”
Ian flashes him a grin. “It’s only been a year, but it feels like I finally found my thing.”
Eddie barely knows him, but he’s inclined to agree. He was amazing on the rescue Eddie saw; competent and controlled. Quick too, both his running and his thinking. “It suits you well.”
“Thank you,” he says, so earnestly. Eddie feels his cheeks heating, even though he was just being honest. “So, how long have you been a firefighter?”
Eddie exhales, shaking off the weird moment. “About eight years now.”
“Wow!”
“Yeah, it’s strange to think it’s been that long already.”
“Well, it clearly suits you well too.” Ian can't seem to take his eyes off of Eddie, his warm gaze focused on him as he brings his beer to his lips. Eddie feels almost mesmerized by it, until the moment breaks when the bottle is brought back to the table with a dull thunk.
They stay well past the end of the dodgers game. They have a lot in common, and Ian is funny and charming, and is genuinely interested in talking with Eddie. It never felt awkward with him, not that Eddie was expecting that. They’d been chatting through text all week and that had been easy too, but there’s always the chance that doesn’t translate to a whole evening together. Luckily, it did. Eddie feels an instant connection, clicking together like they’re already old friends. Ian even offers to pay for both of them when they get the bill. “Only if you let me get it the next time,” Eddie says, as he reluctantly puts away his wallet. Ian only winks at him as he pays with a quick tap of his phone.
When they get up to leave, Ian’s hand brushes against Eddie’s back guiding him towards the exit, and then he sticks by Eddie’s side once they’re out in the fresh air. There’s no real reason for him to walk Eddie out, seeing as he parked around the block, but he must be as reluctant as Eddie for the night to end.
“I had a great time tonight,” Ian says once they reach Eddie’s truck.
“Yeah, me too.” Eddie smiles back at Ian, wistful that the night is already over. He opens his mouth to say something—he’s not even sure what—but he doesn’t get the chance. Ian is leaning in, and then his mouth is on Eddie’s.
A kiss.
It’s over before Eddie has time to react, but Ian doesn’t seem to mind, still smiling sweetly at Eddie when he pulls back. “I’d really like to see you again,” he says, and all Eddie can do is nod, still dazed.
This was a date, Eddie realizes. This was a date, this was a date. It rings through his head on a loop, even as Ian walks away with, “I’ll call you!” and another wink. Even as Eddie gets in his truck and pulls out of the parking lot.
This was a date. Not only that, but, by any metric, it was a good date. A great date. Good enough for a second one offered on the spot. One that Eddie’s seemingly agreed to, as well.
He feels slightly hysterical; his heart pounding, and a laugh bubbling up in him. He just had the best date he can remember, and he didn’t even know—and it was with a man. He brings a finger up to his lips, touching them softly where they’re still buzzing. Ian kissed him and it wasn’t—it was—
Good. Very brief and chaste, all things considered,but…
He brushes over his lips again, smiling. It was really good.
*
Ian texts him the next afternoon to arrange a second date. A thrill shoots through Eddie when he reads it. Ian didn’t even wait the cliched three days. Eddie finds he likes that, and responds with shaky hands, sorting out their plans.
He doesn’t say anything to anyone as he waits for the second date; not to Hen when they’re chatting on the way back from a call. Not to Chimney while they’re playing a game of pool. And definitely not to Buck when they have dinner one night, or when Buck stops by the station with smoothies, or when they’re three hours into an Antiques Roadshow marathon.
It’s not that he wants to keep it from his friends. He just doesn’t know what he would say, or what it even is yet. He had one date with a guy that he stumbled his way into, and sure, it went well, but it wasn’t really on purpose. He doesn’t want to count his chickens before they hatch or admit something crazy, like, maybe this is what he’s been missing all his life.
He just really needs to make it through the date, first. Intentionally. The days leading up to it fly by, aided by long shifts and all of his anticipation, and before he knows it, the date is upon him.
Eddie spends two hours getting ready. His normal pre-date routine is pretty limited to showering, applying cologne, and wearing something he wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen in. Tonight, however, he tears his closet apart and redoes his hair four times. Which ends up being pointless, when he sweats through his shirt on the way to the restaurant. At least he still remembered the good cologne.
He wipes his hand over his brow, trying not to think about the state of his hair now. This isn’t new, he keeps telling himself, breathing evenly as he drives. Hell, he’s literally already done this before, just last week. He just… didn’t know it then.
He thinks about cancelling as he puts his car in park. Maybe this was a bad idea. He’s half a second from pulling his phone out when he spots Ian across the street. He’s waiting for Eddie outside the restaurant, just like he did last time. Sweet, charming, and handsome Ian, who already gave Eddie maybe the best date he’s had. Eddie would be an idiot to pass that up, and he’s not gonna be one tonight.
Ian greets Eddie with a smile and a once over that makes him feel hot all over. It’s so easy now to notice the signs he had missed the last time. Ian rests a hand on Eddie’s waist as they walk into the restaurant, and he pulls out Eddie’s chair when they get to their table. He’s been romancing Eddie this whole time. Eddie might’ve said it makes him feel a little shaky, but perhaps it’s more accurate to say weak in the knees. He’s charmed.
The restaurant Ian chose isn’t uncomfortably fancy, but it is more quiet—intimate—than the place they met at last time. The lights are low, and each table adorned with a small flower centerpiece. There’s no mistaking it for anything other than a date spot.
As much as the date is going well, Eddie can’t shake a twinge of guilt—or maybe imposter syndrome. He stumbled into this without any awareness. He thinks back to the sports bar—his suggestion—suddenly embarrassed that Ian would’ve thought that was his idea of a good first date. Terribly casual and unromantic. Eddie needs to say something or else he’ll be in his head the whole night. After they order, when there’s a lull in the conversation, he clears his throat. “Can I admit something kind of embarrassing?”
Ian grins. “I didn’t realize we were already at that point, but by all means, please.”
Eddie laughs, feeling himself flush. Ian is charming. He knew that, but now he really feels the full force of it. “I didn’t know that our last date was… a date. Until the end.”
“Oh.” Ian doesn’t hide his surprise, eyebrows raised, but he’s still smiling. “But you know this is one, right?”
Eddie snorts. “Yeah, yeah. I’m all caught up now.”
“Sorry if I didn’t make it clear for you, before.”
“No, no,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “You probably did. I just didn’t know to look. It was a surprise, but, um. It was a good one.”
“Good,” Ian says, and then Eddie feels a nudge against his foot under the table. Eddie nudges back, face heating even more.
The date feels even easier after that. Eddie had been a little concerned he might freeze up, knowing it was a date this time, but as much as he was—is—nervous, it doesn’t feel stifling. It feels like, maybe, what normal second-but-kind-of-first-date jitters should feel like. And it turns out he just likes spending time with Ian. Eddie’s not stealing glances at his watch like he always has in the past, counting down the minutes until he could drop his practiced smile. Instead, Eddie suggests dessert, an indulgence to keep the night going as long as he can. Ian offers Eddie a spoonful of his brownie sundae, and Eddie does the same in return with his cheesecake.
When the date comes to an end—with Eddie keeping his promise to pay the bill this time—he feels much the same as their last date, wishing the night wasn’t over. Their shoulders brush as they walk back to his truck, and this time, he doesn't wait for Ian to kiss him first. Eddie makes the move, tugging Ian’s sleeve and pulling him in for a kiss. It lasts a lot longer than their first, with tongue, and teeth and Ian’s hands grabbing at Eddie’s waist. Eddie is dizzy when they break apart, catching their breath.
Ian doesn’t go far, stealing one more kiss before whispering, “Do you need to head home right away?”
“Uh,” Eddie starts, his voice sounding rough, “No, nope. The rest of my night’s free.”
Eddie’s gaze stays caught on Ian’s lips as he wets them. “You said this was new, so completely no pressure ask here…” Ian’s thumb is idly rubbing circles, just catching the skin above Eddie’s waistband. Eddie takes in a shaking breath, a shiver running through him. “Did you wanna come back to my place?”
Eddie’s nodding before he finishes asking.
*
Eddie feels like he’s walking on air for days after the date. He’s never felt like this before, so giddy and light, and Christ, horny too. He finds himself replaying moments in his head at all hours. And it’s not like he’s not talking with Ian either—they’ve been texting regularly, already trying to coordinate their schedules to see each other again. Eddie can’t wait. He can hardly believe he’s nearing forty and has something so juvenile as a crush—does it count as a crush if he’s already slept with the guy? He’s not sure, but he has no other word for it. He’s so out of his depth compared to his normal dating experiences.
He hasn’t been able to keep a grin off his face, and he’s pretty sure his friends and family are picking up on it. He’s noticed the little looks they’ve been giving him.
Eddie’s pretty sure he’s gay, too, which is really something. A good something, he thinks, but just—big. And too big to keep to himself any longer.
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” He’s been working himself up to say something ever since he arrived at Buck’s hours ago for lunch. By now they’ve moved on to a game of cards outside, under the warm April sun.
Eddie knows that keeping a new friend from Buck has snowballed spectacularly. He doesn’t want to hide it from his best friend anymore.
“Oh no,” Buck says, grinning, “sounds serious.” When Eddie doesn’t return the joke, Buck sobers and puts his cards face down on the table. “Oh. It is.”
“It’s not… not serious.” Eddie takes a deep breath. “Look, I had made plans with a new friend,” Eddie does his best not to stumble over the word, “last week, and I kept that from you. Because I didn’t want you to—you know… feel left out. When you’re still not on the job and recovering.”
Buck frowns, looking away. “Oh.”
“And I felt shitty about it. But I thought I was doing the right thing—”
“I get it. I—I was an asshole the last time you started hanging out with someone new.”
“Yeah, but—” Eddie shakes his head. “There were contributing factors to that. I shouldn’t have assumed it would happen again.”
Buck waves him off. “It’s fine. Seriously. I, um—I have been feeling pretty stir crazy. You’re probably right, it might’ve made me feel worse.” Buck sighs, frowning at himself. He looks at Eddie with an open gaze. “But I don’t wanna be that guy. Tell me about the new friend.”
“You met him. Briefly.” Eddie grins, trying to keep the mood light. “Ian Bradley, he’s a nurse over at Presbyterian.”
“Oh.” Buck’s eyes widen with recognition. “Is that—is he the guy May’s dating?”
“The guy Ravi thought was dating May.” Eddie corrects, waving his hand to dismiss it. “Anyway, he’s really cool. But, uh, there’s a little more to the story now.” Buck sits up straighter, brow creased, but motions Eddie to go on. “So, we finally went out for drinks last week. And, you know, it was a good time. He’s a great guy. And then when the night was over, and we were out in the parking lot…” Eddie wets his lips, thinking back to it. “He kissed me. Apparently I misconstrued what we were meeting up for.”
Buck’s eyebrows climb to his hairline. “Your new ‘friend’ meetup was… a date?” Eddie nods, and Buck barks out a laugh, head tipped back. “You agreed to a date with a guy and you didn’t even know it. Wow.” he shakes his head, grinning. “I’ve, uh, said you’re awful at dating but this really takes the cake.”
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” Eddie rolls his eyes playfully.
“This is probably the best news I’ve heard in weeks. God,” he says, shoulders still shaking. “I hope you let the poor guy down easy, at least.”
Eddie winces, biting down on the inside of his cheek. “Not exactly. I, um…” Buck notices his pause, and settles down, though he still has an amused look on his face. Eddie steadies himself before taking the leap. “I took him up on that second date. And it was good. And I, uh—I think we’re going out again.”
Buck blinks, smile dropping as his eyebrows furrow. “Wait, what?”
Eddie wrings his hands together under the table, grounding himself. He knows Buck is just shocked, which was expected. Eddie’s just dropped a bomb on him. “I’m dating him,” he says as clear as he can, maintaining eye contact.
It knocks Buck out of whatever daze he was in, shaking his head. “Sorry, that’s—that’s amazing, Eddie.” He grins a little shakily. “I, uh, can’t wait to meet him. You know, under—under better circumstances.”
“Well,” Eddie breathes out a laugh, relieved, “Let me make it through a few more dates, make sure he doesn’t run off scared. But, yeah, I’d love that. I, uh, think you guys would get along.”
Something passes over Buck’s face, but it’s gone before Eddie can decipher it, replaced with a genuine smile. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Thank you, Buck.” Embarrassingly, he feels choked up. On instinct, he reaches across the table towards Buck’s hand, but just as he makes contact, he reels back like he’s been shocked. “Sorry,” Eddie says instantly, his heart pounding in his chest for absolutely no reason. He’s stuck looking between Buck’s hand and his face. “I don’t—I don’t know why I just did that,” he says with an awkward laugh. Instead of reaching out again, he hides his hands away under the table.
“It’s fine.”
“I made it weird, I don’t know why I did that.” He doesn’t. He’s never questioned touching Buck before; not in all the years he knew him, and certainly not after Buck came out. It shouldn't make a difference now that Eddie’s the one who’s—now that Eddie’s dating men too. “I’m still getting used to this.”
Buck nods, kindly. “I get it. It recalibrates some things.”
“But not this,” Eddie reassures him immediately.
“Yeah,” Buck says, smiling back at him. Eddie’s fingers are still tingling. “Not this.” He smiles warmly at Eddie and opens his mouth before closing it again. He stands up abruptly, and says, “Okay, let's try…” Buck gestures for Eddie to stand as well, and he goes easily, like he always does. Buck pulls him into a hug, arms looping around Eddie’s back, and his face tucked into his neck. Eddie does the same, relaxing into it and breathing Buck in. He squeezes back as tightly as he can as if he can make up for his weirdness before.
“Thanks, Buck,” Eddie mumbles into his shirt. He’s warm all over, and not in any hurry to let go.