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"Me? Varric," she whispers softly as the sadistic chuckles of the nightmare continue to echo around them, because she's smart. Always has been. Smart enough to put two and two together now she has all the pieces in front of her. "The thing you fear most, your worst fear is-" Hawke continues uncertainly.
Is watching you die, losing you, and knowing it was all my fault ? Yes, Varric thinks. The dwarf shakes his head, even as his heart is hammering in his chest. Her voice, his name, rings in his ears, but it is nothing like the usual cocky, lighthearted music that it ordinarily would be. It's heavy, burdened with guilt in a way that makes him ache. So rarely does she ever actually allow for those walls to come down, for anyone to see when they've actually got to her. It's been a long time, years since she bothered to do so with him, they will have to talk about what has been said here, Varric knows, but now is not the time, not the place. Not in the goddamn Fade, for Maker's sake. The demon will be looking for any and every sign of weakness. They can't give him any, either of them.
"Not now, Hawke," Varric growls, taking the opportunity to vent his anger and frustration on a nearby creature creeping up on the group from behind an outcropping of floating rocks.
"But-" she protests, even as she leaps forward to stab a large spider-like creature between several of its eyes.
"Hawke, I promise you, when all this is over we can talk about it until we're both blue in the face. I'll answer whatever questions you want, just not now," Varric hisses, though the words are closer to a plea than anything else, as he takes up a position at her back in order to protect one another from the steadily encroaching horde. The dwarf manages to stop two more spiders before they can reach them but is powerless to stop the voice that seems to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time, recognizing and not about to waste an opportunity to further torment on of the interlopers in his domain.
"Blind to the plight of your companions again, Hawke, perhaps you are less than deserving of a name for such a sharp-eyed bird. So much time wasted. How many years has it been since the two of you met? Since Varric fell--" the demon laughs, but Varric cuts him short.
"Oh, shut up," the dwarf shouts into the air above them, notching another arrow in his crossbow for the next assault. The words are his to own, not this demon's, though it comes as something of a surprise that merely telling the creature to fall silent actually yielded any sort of results. "Hawke," he calls to the woman at his side, who's turned large and sad eyes towards him, trying to work out or wait out his answer. "Don't listen to him. Don't give him what he wants. It doesn't matter," he shouts, trying desperately to convince her that it's the truth, though he knows that it will to her.
"You let him down," the sinister voice booms, picking up where it left off with tormenting her. "You let them all down. Wanted to protect them all, but you bring only pain and death. Carver. Aveline's husband. Bethany. Your mother. Merrill's Keeper. Anders begged for death, but you spared him. Do you think that merciful? Do you think he's happier now- forced to run, hated by even his own kind, the ones he tried to save? And how have you repaid the one who's been at your side from the very beginning? The one who would die to keep you safe, to see you happy?"
"Don't listen to it. You don't owe me a fucking thing, Hawke," Varric growls loudly, trying hard to drown out the demon's continued taunts and laughter.
"Varric, I-"
"Ignore it," the dwarf shouts again, though he sees that the woman beside him is still worried, still distracted. "Andraste's flaming ass! Fine. Yes, Hawke," he shouts, bashing another monster over the head with the butt of Bianca as he reaches back for more arrows to load. "Yes, it's true! I love you. Maybe I always have, but Maker help me, if you let this fucking demon distract you, because he rung it out of me. If you get hurt, or-" He shakes his head, unable to even bring himself to voice the possibility aloud for fear of somehow making it come to pass. "You'll make everything he said- my worst nightmare come true," Varric concludes. "So snap out of it, and you can ask me all the questions you like later, okay," he demands whipping about to face her once more.
Hawke drops to her knees and for one terrifying second Varric thinks that somehow she missed something, that he missed something, failed to protect her from whatever monster or blow has knocked her to the ground, but it's not falling, it's very much a controlled drop, and she rushes forward before the dwarf can stop her or register what's going on, to crush her lips against his. It's only a moment. The briefest of moments. There's still work to do. Demons and monsters to kill, but Maker it's wonderful: everything he's ever dreamed and been equally as sure he'd never have.
"Stay alive Varric, there's a lot more where that came from," Hawke grins brightly, offering him her usual playful wink.
"That's the first time since we fell in this pit I've hoped this wasn't all a dream," Varric mutters staring after the young woman in astonishment as she positively beams, tearing off ahead of the group to attack a lone spider trying to slink away.