Work Text:
The news was in an absolute disarray.
Really, when wasn’t it? It always was rather chaotic when it came to SDN and superheroes. But especially now—with Shroud dead and the Z-Team posing on the front of every magazine that’s been posted ever since then. Most news reporters have been trying to get interviews with each member, and most of those have been blown off completely. That had been feeding the news cycle too.
“I think that it’s pretty safe to say that everything recently has been–” Mandy said before sighing to herself. “A bit of a shitshow?”
Prism snorted, filing both her and Waterboy’s nails. “You got that right, baby.” she said.
“Gravy.” Golem said sarcastically.
The Z-Team in its entirety had been demanded to come to their board room, Chase and Mandy included. While the news usually went rather crazy, they could be considered calm compared to what was happening now. Stalking the Z-Team both to their work and their homes, putting multiple people in danger—both the members and their families. Which meant that PR would need to get involved.
“What’s our plan, anyway?” Malvolea asked curiously. She was currently trying to get Sonar off of Golem’s back, who was holding Punch-Up and Invisigal on his other shoulder.
“We should be allowed to hit them back.” Coupé said to them. Chase snorted.
Robert huffed and put his head in his hands, elbows resting on the table. The news had already been annoying enough—they’d even been bugging him when they found the entire Z-Team out drinking for a night. He couldn’t even process the headlines until the middle of the next day with how hungover he was.
“Well, I was hoping you guys might be able to do some PR stunts? Or something?” Mandy said before looking over at Prism, fidgeting with her hands. “Maybe like a social media post about you guys? If you make some information available, there’s a chance they’ll just write about that stuff instead.”
Prism looked up from her glasses. “Baby, I gotchu.”
“Oh you’re all fucking doomed.” Chase chuckled.
Robert snorted. “You’re in this team too, old man.”
“Fuck, you’re right.”
“Hey lovelies! It’s ya girl, Pris here!” Prism said as she set up the camera inside of the Z-Team board room. “I’ve brought my besties here to do a trend with me so you guys can get to know the real us.”
There was a shuffling from behind the camera, quite a bit, as Prism grabbed a bowl from off screen as well as different bags of candy. “I got each of them a bag of candy already, so I’m going to let them pick one–“
“How does this work again?” Golem asked.
“We’re each going to list something traumatic that’s happened to us and then pour whatever candy we have into this bowl.” Prism said calmly as she set up the bowl, a deep red glass one with an intricate design and large enough to hold the candy. “I’ll go first.”
Malevola hummed. “Where’d you get that bowl, babes?”
“Bae made it.” Prism said, knowing that their voices would be muffled from how far they were from the phone.
“Yo, you can make glass?” Visi asked him.
Flambae huffed. “I control the flame and the fire–“
“And your skin does not burn.” Robert huffed back. “Can we start?”
Prism snorted to herself before opening her bag. “Hi babes, my name’s Prism, and when I started working in the Phoenix Program a lot of the beginning dispatchers would make sexual comments towards me.” she said before looking at the bag in her hand and pouring it into the bowl. “I have Life Saver gummies. You wanna go next, baby?”
There was a small huff off screen before Waterboy came onto screen. “Uh, hi– hello there! My name– I go by Waterboy? And I grew up with a lot of medical things, because of my grandma.” he said before looking at his bag. “These are Air Head bites?”
“I’ll open it for you, baby.” Prism said as she grabbed her scissors and opened the bag for him. “Here.”
Waterboy smiled before pouring the bag inside of the bowl, both him and Prism walking off camera and leaving room for the next person.
Invisigal went next. “Hi. My name’s Visi,” she said before snorting and shrugging. “When I was a teen I came home after running away only to find out my mom was sleeping with the police officer who sent me to juvie. I have Sour Patch Kids.”
“Youch.” Sonar said. “Can I go next?”
Invisigal hummed and tossed the empty bag at him. “Only if you throw that away for me.”
Sonar huffed before throwing the bag away and walking towards the camera. He put his bag down to adjust his fur and tie—checking himself out before chirping in amusement. “What’s up? My name’s Sonar.” he said before groaning and grabbing the bag. “Villains hate my Alpha aura and like to chain and muzzle me whenever they find me. I grabbed– who the hell gets Milk Duds?”
Prism rolled her eyes. “I did, duh.”
“This is going to be the weirdest fucking salad, dude. And I went to Harvard.”
Malevola laughed as she guided Sonar out of the camera. “Sorry about that babes,” she said, winking at the camera and letting her tail grab her candy bag. “A lot of old grandmas like throwing crosses and salt at me whenever I’m sent on missions. These are Twizzlers.”
Mal poured the bag in with her tail before walking off camera. There was a bit of discourse before someone grabbed a chair and dragged it to the camera—Punch Up now standing on it so he could be seen by the camera. “Ello there lads or lassies, I’m Punch-Up. In between when I got shrunken down and I left the circus, my family used to use me as a cannonball,” he said as he grabbed his bag. “It’s a big laugh, really. I’m pouring Swedish Fish apparently. You wanna go next Nellie?”
“I’ll wait for everyone else.”
Punch Up shrugged and scooted off camera as Golem tried his best to fit into the camera. “My name’s Golem. I’m a construct and I don’t understand humans.”
“I also feel a similar way, Golem!” Phenomoman said excitedly. “That is just what I planned to say as well.”
Golem opened his bag of candy. “Dope. You wanna pour candy together?”
“That sounds phenomenal!”
They both poured their candy and went off camera. Flambae went up next, which was met with loud cheering from Prism and a hair toss from Flambae.
“My name’s Flambae. I control the fire and the flame and my skin does not burn,” he said with a smirk. “When I was a teen my father got me into arson. I brought myself these hot tamales.”
Sonar booed him, earning a middle finger as he walked off camera. There was a bit of silence before the next person went on, Coupé walking calmly in front of the camera.
“My name is Coupé. I was raised by the mob and trained to kill starting at age twelve. These are Jolly Ranchers.” she said as she opened her bag of candy with one of her knives. “What do Jolly Ranchers taste like?”
“Sugar.” Robert shrugged.
Coupé nodded before taking one and walking off.
Robert huffed as he walked into the camera’s lens holding two bags, waving awkwardly before putting one down. “Uh– this one’s for Track Star, who apparently believes he’s too cool to do this.” he said, snorting at the collective boo surrounding the room. “He said that his would be not being able to fuck anymore, and that he hates everything in life. He’s pouring Mike and Ike’s in spirit.”
He poured the bag before holding up the last bag. “My name is Robert, I dispatch these hooligans–“
“Bobert, who the fuck says hooligans anymore?” Flambae snorted.
“Well I did about two seconds ago, and then you did just now. Obviously at least two people.” he said before looking down at his bag. “I don’t know what I would put for mine. My childhood was fine.”
Sonar and Invisigal both made a loud buzzer sound, the rest of the team—minus Coupé—facing him with a thumbs down.
“I’m sure just telling them anything would shock them.” she shrugged casually.
Robert shrugged back before opening his bag. “When I was a kid, my father used to pay people to kidnap me and demanded that I give him the recording tapes, just so he could lecture me on how I could get out faster. These are Pop Rocks.”
The entire room went silent for a moment before large boo-ing noises came from the side again.
“There’s no fucking way, dude.” Punch Up said. “How have you not gone to therapy?”
Robert rolled his eyes.“I am already millions of dollars in medical debt, Punch. We’ve been over this.”
“No the fuck we have not?” Prism said, grabbing her phone back and picking up the bowl of candy. “I’m starting a GoFundMe for your sorry ass.”
“Prism, don’t you dare–“
“Too late, Bob-Bob.” Flambae snorted.